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Ghosts - Episode 4.03 - Halloween 4: The Witch - Review

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After four seasons, most "Ghosts" fans know what to expect from a Halloween episode: pop-culture costumes, a seance, a party, and maybe even a death!

While this episode only includes one of those, it makes perfect sense that Patience would take particular umbrage at the Woodstone B&B’s annual Halloween celebration. Thankfully, Patience’s piety doesn’t spoil the fun; instead, the witch trial proves just as farcical as past Halloween entries.

With Patience (who seems to only speak in sentences with “thou,” “ye,” or “haveth”) leading the gossip-fueled trial, each ghost gets to flaunt their signature quirks. Hetty’s pettiness, Trevor’s horniness, and Flower’s forgetfulness are all on full display, but it's Pete’s excessive puns that steal the show in the trial scene.

After the trial and sentencing, the humor hits a peak when the ghosts become convinced that Patience’s “ghost power” has turned Sam to stone. Of course, after she debuted her ability to make the walls bleed last week, they're quick to believe pretty much anything. This discovery prompts them all to make comical quips over who has the lamest "ghost power." Unsurprisingly, there's no shortage of playful digs at Alberta and Isaac, mocking the lameness of powers like humming and farting.

The ghosts' mistake causes an amusing, frantic (and completely unfounded) panic among them, especially as they watch Jay sell “Sam” for a mere $7. The moment is made even funnier when Jay gives the statue a light slap on the face as it’s loaded onto the truck, a perfect touch for the peak of absurdity. This (and the team's ensuing efforts to get "Sam" back) brings some of the best laughs of the episode, especially when Patience's lack of true power is revealed.

In the end, Jay’s willingness to trade his beloved Quasit figure to save Sam (as well as his words when he realizes she was never in any danger at all) adds a sweet note to the chaos. Sam and Jay are, after all, the heart of the series, and it’s always refreshing to see them (eventually) rise above the ghostly nonsense that keeps us all entertained.

Rating: 9.4/10 - It’s only fitting that a series focused on the dead shines brightest on Halloween. This episode blends clever jokes (see "Other Notes" below for some of my favorites) with a heartfelt story, making us love Sam and Jay more than ever.

Other Notes:

-After Trevor mentioned the 1987 movie "Throw Momma From the Train" in last week's episode, I instructed readers that the Danny Devito-directed film was "required viewing." Given the events of this week's episode, I'm assigning ELO's "Turn to Stone" as "required listening" this time!

-On top of everything else at the Woodstone B&B, there's a leftover mummy?!?!? Where is this mysterious ballroom we've never seen?

-I'm not a fan of "Bridgerton," but I'm definitely a fan of Rose McIver's "Bridgerton" costume!

-I'm sure we'll get to know Hetty's ghost power some day, but until then, this seems like something for you all to speculate about! What do you think her ghost power is?

-Matty Cardarople, the actor who plays Captain Kaboom, always seems to turn up in the best things! Who else would definitely waste hours watching Captain Kaboom's totally asinine YouTube channel?

-This episode features the first appearance of the hilariously snobbish Margaret Farnsby (Kathryn Greenwood) since Season 2, Episode 6 ("The Baby Bjorn"). While we don't get to see her husband Henry (Mark Linn-Baker) this time, it doesn't seem like the two have given up their *ahem* explorative approach to marriage. Patience surely must be happy to have not died a mere block over!

-Patience dancing to the Jardiance commercial is one of the funniest things this show has ever done! I hate that commercial more than anything on television.

-Sam's face when Thor quips "Small man [Jay] sure to reap many benefits sexually from those kind words" is the best moment of the episode.

-"Ghosts" has found countless clever ways to keep its guest stars rotating (the car ghost, the person-attached ghost, Pete), but the idea of "other ghosts" living in the dirt is the show's most creatively stomach-churning notions yet!

-Are you sad to see Patience return to the dirt? Other options include a) being fake sad like the rest of the ghosts, or b) shouting "Hell yeah!" like Jay.

-Just in case anyone forgot, Pete CAN leave the property!

"Ghosts" airs Thursdays at 8:30 pm ET on CBS. Don’t forget to share your thoughts on the episode with us here at SpoilerTV!

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