It seems like we have made a little time jump at the beginning of the episode Maya is back home after being held at the hospital to get the medical care she needed, and Jack is starting his first day at the firehouse. Also, Dixon is not amused by the fact that the media has taken a turn on telling the story of what happened during a Crisis One call last episode also Vic gets triggered especially after the events of a house fire.
Maya is finding out why she acted the way she did this episode with help from Diane. Still restless and pushing on lack of sleep Maya is deep cleaning her apartment when Diane comes to visit for a session. Even though Maya knew about the appointment she seems to have lost track of time and thinks she cannot think or rest unless the house is cleaned. Luckily for her, Diane asks her to draw, which even creates bigger question marks with Maya. Making her draw a timeline of when she had the feeling she needed to win, leading up to her becoming an Olympic medalist. A little hesitant if she can remember all, she starts her timeline starting at the age of three. Diane tells her she has enough before Maya feels like she is finished because she only got to the age of twelve. Mind you there was a lot on the paper already.
Diane asks her to tell her about the first time Maya thought of winning, which was at the age of three. Before telling it all Maya tries to move away from the subject telling Diane her ankle hurts and she needs to ice it, not letting her cause Maya to break down and feel and sit with her pain. While crying it out she keeps repeating ‘I don’t want to lose.’ Later, when Maya has calmed down a bit she tells a bit more about her remembering the first time she wanted to win. Learning at such a young age that her father would love her when she won, but be ashamed of her when she lost. So for Maya winning was always associated with being loved and worthy. Resulting in her three-year-old self screaming for attention when she lost her position as captain of the firehouse.
To move on and heal Maya needs to tell her three-year-old self she is worthy of love, allowed to lose sometimes, and most of all allowed herself some rest. Diane asks Maya to try and see her three-year-old self, holding her in her arms and telling her all those things. Knowing you can never physically hold your three-year-old self, they visualized it well cutting back and forth between Maya holding her arms like someone was in it and her three-year-old self being in it.
I hope we will see more of Diane working with Maya throughout the season since she is there to make sure Maya is fit to return to work at some point. What surprised me is that Diana mentioned a desk job first and Maya didn’t even protest it. Maya still has a long way to go but is making little steps, especially after mentioning missing Carina and wanting to call her, which she can, but refrains from it because deep down she knows she needs to love herself first. The last we see of Maya in this episode is her peacefully sleeping with her three-year-old self in her arms.
The make-up department did a really good job on Maya’s look in this episode. She looked exhausted and unwell and even her face looked slimmer. Fitting with the overall storyline and creating ways to just see how she is doing by her looks instead of hearing and seeing it through her actions.
Given the point of view, we get of Jack and the prank the team pulls on him, we might assume it is his first day back in over six months. Both Jack and the team seem happy he is part of the team again. Though you would suspect that we get to see a little more of him at the firehouse, the focus is quickly shifted toward a house fire in Ruiz’s old neighborhood. The call seemed to have triggered some memories with Ruiz and he ran into a familiar face, but he didn’t seem too comfortable with it all and kept focussing on his job. Which took a turn when one of the family members ran back into the house to get the family bible. Ruiz runs in after the women followed by Montgomery, within seconds something explodes in the house, leaving Ruiz and Montgomery trapped inside with the women. Vic immediately wants to run in after them but is being held back by Warren. Luckily they are all unharmed and can be rescued through a window in the basement. Afterward, Vic is still reeling from the events. The call hit close to home since she could have lost her boyfriend and best friend all over again, as she told Ruiz later she can't go through that again.
Dixon is not amused by how the press has written about the events happening during the last episode with the confrontation between Crisis one and the police. He is talking chief Ross into joining him at his press conference later to tell the media that fire and police are working together side by side. We all know that Dixon's way of telling things doesn’t always reflect well on the fire department and that he wants to shut down Crisis One when he wins. But due to blackmail, thanks to Travis and Eli for leaking the story about Dixons Crisis One call to the press, chief Ross is left with no choice but to join him.
During the press conference, Dixon speaks first, thanking the fire department for assisting them on a call and pressing that they will continue to work together peacefully. Then it is chief Ross’ turn to speak, struggling to find words to tell what Dixon wants to hear, she swifts focus and tells what happened on that call and about the outcome thanks to Crisis One and de-escalating training, inviting all police officers who are interested to undergo Crisis One training. She does too want to police and fire department to work together, but has made Dixon a permanent opponent with her speech.
Eli is still trying to get Andy to like him. He might even have a little crush on her. And it seems she might like him too, but she just can’t stand how he is professionally and what he does for a living. Since that is not in line with her beliefs, giving the two of them enough to bicker about during the shift. While he tries to charm her into liking him he drops that she is the actual leader in this firehouse, but he also insults her as a firefighter, so she tells him to go down the pole and she will listen to him. Which he, to no one's surprise but Andy’s, does. Dislocating his shoulder in the process.
Lastly Andy goes to Beckett, asking him why she is antagonizing everyone on the team. She feels she needs to stick up for the team and tells Beckett the team needs a leader, which I suspect comes from the conversation she had with Eli earlier. Beckett wants to hear nothing of what she suggests because he is convinced everyone already thinks he Is a monster, so why even try? When he sends her away he goes back to his drinking habits.
These bits and snippets of Beckett drinking on the job might lead up to something more, adding Vic’s breakdown of losing another person I am afraid this is going to end badly later on in the season. What do you think?