A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below. 
1. Camille: “When do we choose our masks, Madame Berthe?" Ondine: “Do you need another one? Paris is a lonely place without friends, but a lethal one with enemies.” Camille: “I am sorry you are lonely.” (Sandi)
1. Clif [to Rita]: "Where you in Star Trek? You never told us you were in Star Trek." Larry: "We're in Spartacus 452. Rita's first sci-fi movie that, incidentally, was also her first box office failure.
But that's neither here, not there." Rita: "Thank You, Larry."
2. Maura Lee Karupt [points to the picture in comic book]: "Is this Tamper?" Dorothy: "Torminox." Maura Lee Karupt: "Whatever." Dorothy: "Yes." (Elvis)
1. Alison: “I think it’ll be ages, there’s been an accident.” Mike: “Have they died? You can see their ghost can’t you? Is it bad? No. Don’t tell me. Oh, are they right here? Hello, happy Christmas. Sorry for your...” Alison: “No. Mike, no. There’s a sign there. Accident ahead.”
2. Pat: “Nobody takes me seriously. My own family used to laugh at me, just like you lot.” Robin: “But you just laugh at Thomas.” Pat: “Oh! Suppose, I..I suppose I did.” Robin: “And why you make me Ugly Sister?” Pat: “Oh, well. You know...because...” Robin: “Because it’s funny! I got face like a horse’s bum. Everybody laugh. It don’t mean you don’t like me.”
3. Kitty: “Alison has seen Mel B in panto, I can’t live up to that. I’m not an actress, I’m just a girl.” Captain: “Once upon a time, Kitty, Mel B was just a girl, before she became a Spice Girl. And when you take to that stage, you won’t be just a girl, you’ll be Cinderella. And Alison is going to love you. Now stand up. Shine like a star.” Lady Button: “I think we should recast the Fairy Godmother.” (Sandi)
1. Thor: “Because Christmas isn’t just a day on calendar. It is time with people you love.” Jay: “Hey, babe, someone ripped the head off a Santa.” Thor: “That was before I learn lesson.” (Sandi)
1. Breanna: “This is a lot more Smallville than I imagined your childhood to be.” Elliot: “What did you imagine?” Breanna: “Hmmm, Gotham.” (Sandi)
2. Brianna: "Still waiting on my umbrella of freedom..and my shower cap of equality." (Prpleight)
2. Brianna: "Still waiting on my umbrella of freedom..and my shower cap of equality." (Prpleight)
1. Goldfarb: “As I lie here, I can distinctly hear the beating of wings of the angel of death. I think therefore, that this may be the time to say one or two things to the person responsible. You may succeed in silencing me, but the howl of protest from around the world will reverberate, Mr Putin, in your ears for the rest of your life. May god forgive you for what you have done, not only to me, but to our beloved Russia and its people.”
2. Timmons: “This is London. The only thing anyone’s interested in here is themselves.” (Sandi)
1. Brad: “I’m assisting her to live up to her true potential. Much like, you know, Emperor Palpatine mentored Darth Vader.” Rachel: “I am not Darth Vader.” Brad “Okay, fine. Darth Maul.” Rachel: “Why are all your Star Wars references villains?” Brad: “They’re the heroes.” (Sandi)
2. Ian: “I’ve tried to help you. Every single time I try, you kick me out.” Poppy: “Yes, but I always kick you out. You never actually leave. What’s changed, Ian?” Ian: “I don’t know.” Poppy: “Yes, you do.” Ian: “I don’t know.” Poppy: “Yes, you do!” Ian: “I don’t kn...” Poppy: “You know! You know! It’s because this time it’s my game. And you don’t want to work on my game, do you?” Ian [pause]: “No.” Poppy: “I knew it. I fucking knew it.” Ian: “Wait, Poppy, Poppy, Poppy, Poppy. I tried. I promise. I really did. I...” Poppy: “That’s just like you, isn’t it? Overpromise, under-deliver.” (Sandi)
1. Doctor Noum: “I’d like to run some more tests.” Dal [as Admiral Janeway]: “Yeah, yeah, after I take a nap. You can run all the tests you want when I feel like myself again. You, antennas, you’re in charge. Everyone else, keep doing an awesome job. Teamwork makes the dream work.”
2. Gwyn: “I am requesting your aid in our immediate assistance and help in relaying this message to all our non-Federation allies. We beg you. Your transports, your freights, your shields...anything that will slow the attack Starfleet is inflicting upon itself." Captain Trij: “And why should I help?” Gwyn: “Because in the infinite of space, everyone needs to know there is a place out there willing to accept us all, no matter how different we think we are. Without Starfleet, the Federation crumbles. And that dream dies with it. If they’ve ever helped you as they’ve helped us, then hear my words. Allies, civilians, outsiders, anyone, Starfleet needs you now or it will not survive.”
3. Hologram Janeway: “I did what I had to so you could fulfill your potential. I’m truly proud to have seen how far you’ve all come. My only regret is not being there when you arrive at the steps of Star Fleet Academy. You may think you need me to get there, but after seeing everything you’ve accomplished, I have full confidence you’ll find your way. Because together, your potential is infinite. Now, go boldly.” (Sandi)
1. Courtney: “You know, since the day I found the Staff, you've been my hero. I even thought you were my father for a while. But when Brainwave came after me, it was Pat who saved me. And when Cindy hurt me, it was Pat who got me to the hospital. And when my dad came to take that locket and I was absolutely crushed, Pat was there for me too. He's been there for me every time I've ever needed him. So, you're not my hero, Starman. Pat Dugan is my hero. I was so disappointed when I found out you weren't my father. But I thank God every day that Pat is.” (Sandi)
Wednesday -
1. Bianca: "I'm trying not to turn into my mother. She's like the ghost of bitchiness future."
2. Wednesday: "Birthday, yes. Happy, never."
3. Tyler: "Come on, don't you like a day that's all about you?"
Wednesday: "Everyday is all about me. This one just comes with a cake and a bad song." (Prpleight)
Doctor Who -
1. Clara: "I’ve just realized. I’m going out for another meal now!" Doctor: "Don’t worry. Calories consumed on the TARDIS have no lasting effect." Clara: "What? Are you kidding?!" Doctor: "Of course I’m kidding. It’s a Time Machine not a miracle-worker!"
2. Clara: "Why don't you like hugging, Doctor?" Doctor: "Never trust a hug... it's just a way to hide your face." (Elvis)
2. Wednesday: "Birthday, yes. Happy, never."
3. Tyler: "Come on, don't you like a day that's all about you?"
Wednesday: "Everyday is all about me. This one just comes with a cake and a bad song." (Prpleight)
What We're Watching
1. Clara: "I’ve just realized. I’m going out for another meal now!" Doctor: "Don’t worry. Calories consumed on the TARDIS have no lasting effect." Clara: "What? Are you kidding?!" Doctor: "Of course I’m kidding. It’s a Time Machine not a miracle-worker!"
2. Clara: "Why don't you like hugging, Doctor?" Doctor: "Never trust a hug... it's just a way to hide your face." (Elvis)
1. Julie: "He basically called me white trash! He said I was from Riverside!" Jimmy: "Honey, you are from Riverside." Julie. "It was his tone."
2. Ryan: "Seth, guys like Donnie... You don't exactly know them, and they don't exactly know... kids like you." Seth: "So I shouldn't wear my ascot and talk about Grey Poupon?"
3. Caleb: "You're not serious... You're still smoking the weed, aren't you..." Kirsten: "Dad!" Seth [walks in and overhears]: "Dad, you smoked weed?" Kirsten: "Out- now! Private conversation!" Seth [walking out]: "Hey Ryan, guess who's a stoner!"
