The White Lotus - 2.06 & 2.07 - Double Review

Well, the premiere didn't lie, there were indeed not one, not two, but four deaths after this week-long sojourn at The White Lotus! Things started unraveling in the penultimate episode of course, but the finale delivered on the entertainment value of how, exactly, everyone ended up where they did.

The Winners

Lucia and Mia are definitely the only ones to truly benefit from this week. After successfully disrupting just about every single storyline, Lucia scammed her way into Dominic's deep pockets via Albie and some light blackmail to regain Dominic's wife's favors, Mia almost killed Giuseppe in her attempts to get his job and succeeded thanks to Valentina's biase, and they're both off into the sunset, 50000€ the richer.

Harper and Ethan, after many convoluted quiproquos, finally find each other... biblically. I guess revenge cheating is what does it for Ethan. Maybe. Fundamentally, Harper's right, whether something happened between her and Cameron or not, their main issue was that Ethan wasn't attracted to her anymore. Did he and Daphne end up "not being victims of their own lives" together on that little island? I'm pretty sure they did, even hitting Cameron didn't calm him down the way that little excursion did, and we've known for a while that Daphne has a funny way of handling her husband's infidelities (that's definitely not his kid, right?). Still, I wouldn't bet on that marriage lasting much longer if this is how they reunited.

Cameron and Daphne end the week the way they started it: in a marriage of unsaid understandings, yet it seems to, well.. work. So. In any case, Meghann Fahy's acting is definitely a big win here, she has been wonderful throughout the season and never better than in the finale when Ethan tells her about his doubts. If anyone can come back in season 3, please let it be her (sans Cameron though).

Isabella and Rocco, finally reunited now that Valentina has set her sights elsewhere, yay!

Greg, I guess? I mean, who knows if the police will be able to tell what happened on that boat, and in any case Tanya's death wasn't, um, at the hands of anyone else even if she was pushed towards it. Chances are, he'll get his money, and more of it too since he won't have to share any with Quentin, or his harem!

The Losers

Tanya. Oh, Tanya. Too pure for this world, etc. Something about the gays rescuing her from being abandoned by Greg did seem too good to be true, but realizing that Greg had likely masterminded this in order to get her money without divorcing her was particularly chilling. Also, maybe pick a better assistant next time, not only was Portia probably the most annoying person in Sicily, but her warning came way too late for Tanya to do anything about it. (See, this is why you must learn how to swim, you never know when you'll have to make a run for it off a yacht in the middle of the Ionian Sea)

Speaking of Portia, complaining constantly and topping the worst dressed list 7 days running wasn't enough, she had to get kidnapped by her English hookup who was, well "kinda fucking his uncle" and went from hot to horrifying real fast. Still, at least she made it out alive, so she has that going for her. As well as Albie's number!

The Di Grassos. They set off to find their roots, found a family of irrate Italian women brandishing unlikely weapons instead, tried to curb their wandering eyes and failed utterly, and lost who knows how much money (in adition to the 50K, there were the clothes, the rooms, the drinks, etc.) to two sex workers. Sidenote: that was not Laura Dern on Dominic's family photos, was it, right?

The Gays. Still, at least they died in opulence, more or less.

All in all, I still think this season lacked what made the first one work: the comedy. It was entertaining, and watching miserable rich people be miserable is always fun, but I expected better. Here's to hoping season 3 will deliver more, now that it's official and maybe, possibly, taking place in Asia.