Roswell, New Mexico — Subterranean Homesick Alien — Review

Hello! I’m late to the party. I wanted to mark the beginning of Roswell, New Mexico’s ride into the sunset, but I was a tiny bit broken.

I’m still recovering from the recent end of the most taxing school year I’ve ever experienced. I should also mention that my physical health took a big hit this past year. Those two things combined their power and basically destroyed my emotional health. But I’m here now. Although, a warning, this reveiew somehow turned into a series of questions. If you have answers, leave them in the comments.

Despite my having missed reviewing the first two episodes of the final season, let’s keep this one short and sweetish. And truth be told, I’ll probably go back and review the slightly boring Episode 1 and the much better Episode 2 at some point.

The Yes!

Jones might be back. Good! I prefer him to this Season’s Max. This new Max is entitled, threatening, and whiny. I do not want. Actually, he may just be a rehash of Season 1 Max; I need Liz to stop babying him and his bull. Long live Jones!

Isobel, despite Kyle trying to give her a free pass, acknowledged that she is a horrible person. It wasn’t nearly enough to overcome her violation of Anatsa, but awareness is a start. It’s also the bare minimum.

The What The?

If my imperfectly perfect angel takes a 90 minute plane ride and doesn’t manage to call me before the day is over, I assume the plane crashed even if I know it landed safely. What I'm saying is, shouldn’t Michael be worried? Shouldn’t he be double worried since Alex was kidnapped by his father and brother, briefly abducted at gun point by his boss, and alien mind controlled into almost jumping off a building? Did I miss one? I feel like I missed one. It might be time to microchip Alex. Mimi too.

Let me also mention that one would think that since Alex left to conduct an investigation centering around the strange St. Elmo’s Fire, which ties into the current alien mystery, there would be some expectation that someone would have heard from him. All it takes is a line of dialogue to let the viewer know that the gang knows he exists. Sort of the way we learned that Gregory Manes was doing stuff in the first episode. Though, I would dare say, no one was on the edge of their seats concerning Greg's whereabouts, especially after his unfortuante personality loss and brain transplant last season. Surely, the youngest Manes, Alex, deserves at least the same level of care. If episode length was a concern, maybe cut some of Bonnie’s cutesy guitar playing.

Maria can’t think of a single bad thing she’s ever done. I would offer my help, but I’ll be busy laughing. It feels like the writers are really working hard to make us believe we don’t know what we know and didn’t see what we saw. Is that gaslighting? Does this show attempt to gaslight its viewers?

Also, Maria’s powers were literally of negative help last season, so why are they so reliant upon them now? And, if I keep your brain from killing you, I am not going to feel guilty about you losing some power you inherited because the government experimented on your great grandmother. Trust and believe.

Did no one think to direct their alien brain power at the purple crystal entrusted to great grandmother Patricia? That’s just common sense. Isn't that the first thing you do? You see if your alien brain power will unlock some secret message or how-to-guide or a complete history of your planet. Has no one in the writers' room seen Roswell Original Flavor?

So, Alex is probably in a pod beneath the ground and Eduardo was mind warped into stealing Jones’s body from Deep Sky. I feel like Deep Sky might need to invest in better safety and security protocols. Maybe some GPS for employee vehicles. Also, how do the new aliens know about Deep Sky? Why does anyone know about an ultra secret covert pseudo government non-profit scientifc military research spy meterology organization?

Is Kyle’s distraction going to serve a larger purpose or is her work done? I don’t need to see her again. Let's integrate him into the larger story outside of Isobel.

How could they possibly know that was alien tissue without examining it at the cellular level? How much alien tissue have they discovered? And don't Isobel, Michael, and Max shed skin cells? My brain literally hurts, likely because I'm dehydrated, but it could be my fear that these plotlines are shaping up to be confusing. I could just lean on story, but so far that consists of Liz sitting in Max's lap to show how much they love one another.

The Please Don’t.

That was far too much Dallas and Maria for me. What about . . . I legitimately just forgot the name of Alex’s teacher brother. Gregory. What about Gregory? I don’t dare say Dallas and Maria’s chemistry is lacking for fear of being accused of terrible and awful things, but my unbiased observation tells me there is no there there. Their interactions didn’t sing or hum or vibrate with anticipation.

Final thoughts:

I hope Alex is sucking up alien powers below ground so the next time he goes missing he can save himself. His friends and boyfriend/housemate/cosmic lover suck when it comes to his wellbeing.

Where is my fictional tv girlfriend, Rosa? Do you respectfully remember the way she wore those jeans in Season 3? I miss her.

Raise your hand if you are already over Bonnie and Clyde? I feel like we only needed the leader alien, the one that dresses like she's headed to Coachella, and either Bonnie or Clyde. And I would think Michael would have a deeper connection with angry Clyde than Bonnie.