A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Vince, the mob thug: “Head or chest, Bert?” Bert: “Which hurts less?” Lou, the other mob thug: “I don’t know. Never asked.” Vince: “Who you gonna ask? It’s not like you can take an exit poll.”
2. Shira: “I’ll have my usual. Make it two. I’m forgiving you.” Mel: “Wow.” Shira: “I know. You can thank your husband. That man can talk. He is exhausting, but he loves the hell out of you.”
3. Harry to Shira: “Listen, I get…I get you never liked me, alright. I took your best friend away. I was never good enough for her. Whatever. I get it. Okay, listen. I’m not here for me. This is about Mel. She hated lying to you, really she did, but she had to do it, I swear. I can’t get into it, but it had to do with the government and high level secrets. But she did it to protect me and she did it to protect you. You can hate me, okay? But not Mel, alright. After everything I put here through - the fear, the isolation - it was like a death, but you were the only one who was there for her. You were there for her when I couldn’t be. You were the one who kept her sane. You know what she said to me this morning?” Shira: “What?” Harry: “That you are the only one who knows her. You are the only one who knows who she was, why she is who she is. So please, come on, what do you say. Just give her another chance. Let her back into your life. Please.”
4. Robyn: “Everybody makes bad choices. Not everybody gets a chance to fix them. Smart ones take advantage of it.” Jackie: “You’re not very subtle, you know.”
1. Konstantin: “What are you good at?” Pam: “Embalming.”
2. Konstantin: “There is no why, there is only do.”
3. Villanelle: “Dares are pointless. The point of them is to be pointless.”
1. Jesse, about their kidnapped tech expert: “The problem is we sort of need Ernie to find Ernie.”
2. Lucy: “Even in the best coded systems, humans are the wild cards.” Ernie, fangirling about Rook: “Yeah, what a great wild card! Can you imagine how scared he is? Gun to his head, life on the line, and he manages to send me a message. It’s really just like…” Jesse: “Hey, Ernie, since his life is on the line, maybe tell us where he is?”
3. Ernie: “No wasted effort, no mistakes. Elegant. Why did you ever retire and deny the world your talents?” Rook: “I had nothing left to give. I was too tied up in the work. What I did became who I was and there was no more pleasure, only more work.” Ernie: “Yeah, it can be hard to separate the two.”
4. Ernie: “I think you just saved my life.” Lucy: “No way was I letting them get you twice in one day.”
1. Harry: “I do not like having people in my house uninvited.” Asta: “Well, now you know how Earth felt when you got here.”
2. Harry: “A birthday party is just a participation trophy.”
3. Harry: “Human infants are the only mammal whose main attribute is helplessly flopping.”
4. Sheriff Mike: “You know 100% of the people who have rabies go insane, but only 20% of insane people have rabies That's an internet fact.”
1. Wilford: “Sorry about leaving you to die, I suppose. But you know how things are.” Melanie: “It was great. Got a little me time.”
1. Picard: “I’m counting on you Agnes, we all are.” Jurati: “Peachy, have you met me in a pinch?”
2. Jurati: “You all right mister?” Picard: “Just having memories of things that have yet to occur.”
3. Picard: “Change always comes later than you think it should.”
What We're Watching
A discussion between Gibbs and his father about the man who saved his life during WWII.
1. Gibbs: “Dad...German? That's the most important part.” Jackson Gibbs: “No son, the important part is is that we were both flyers. We were brothers up there. We were the same. We're all the same, but we keep fighting each other.”
