A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Barbara: "Janine, sweetheart, you have only dated one man your entire life?" Janine: "Yeah!" Melissa: "No women? Nobody else...? Ever?!" Barbara: "That just answers so many things. I mean..." ~~Folie-lex
2. Jacob: "I had an ex back home that I was certain I would be with forever." Janine: "What happened?" Jacob: "I realised I outgrew him. You know, it was no one's fault. But I realised I couldn't be the best Jacob I could be." Janine: "Was it hard to let go?" Jacob: "Extremely, but if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met Zach.." ~~both
3. Janine: “Step’s all about the fundamentals. She’s the fun and I’m the mentals…doesn’t sound right.” ~~Dahne
4. Gregory: “Statewide assessments are coming up. It’s a necessary evil. They say not to teach to the test, but if that were the case, they wouldn’t give tests, would they?”
1. Thony: "I just want to be able to... to hold Luca without thinking it's gonna be the last time. You know? I just want him to run in the park and be happy and free. Why can't he just have what every other kid has? Why -- why does it always have to be so hard?"
1. Vi: “When I was your age, I wasn’t always sure who I was ‘cause that is a process, honey. It takes time, so instead of calling her out, maybe you want to consider calling her in.”
2. Worm: “Every good plan needs a little improv. You know, like jazz.”
3. Worm, about taking out a guard: “Well, we can always kill him. We don’t have to worry about him waking up then. Would that make you happy? Robyn: “No, but shooting you would.”
1. Sass: “I don’t know why I’m nervous. I mean, you are all idiots.” Pete: “You got this. Just imagine us all in our underwear.” Trevor: “I wish I was wearing underwear.” Hetty: “We all do, Trevor.”
2. Hetty, after Elias goes to hell: “Did I…Did I just…Is that my power, we think? Banishing people to Hades?” Pete: “Or it was him just yelling that he’s never gonna change and basically thumbing his nose at the universe. That’s another possibility.” Hetty: “Oh, we should try it out. Trevor, go to hell.”
3. Isaac: “Well, what do we have here?” Sam: “Oh, we’re just working on the website for the bed and breakfast.” Isaac: “Still? It’s not the Magna Carta, Sam. Chop-chop.”
4. Hetty: “But these people have taught me how to be a better Hetty, and I say there’s hope for you, too, Elias. You’re here for eternity. Why not use it to change?” Elias: “I don’t need to be a better person. There is no good or evil. That’s just a story we tell ourselves and I know better. So Hetty, get this through your tiny, inferior, female brain. I will never change.” Hetty: “Well then you can go to hell.” (Elias goes to hell.)
1. Jodie, about sleeping with Matt: "Don't hate me. I really like him." Sarah: "I could never hate you, sadly. I just wish Diana woulda left me, instead of cheating." ~~Folie-lex
2. Henry: “Babe, this may be an unpopular opinion but I don’t think we should be teaching our son to lie.” Amy: “Un, uh. You know what, Henry. Lying is a very important life skill. Okay? You’re gonna teach him how to change a tire. I’m gonna teach him how to say that he has cramps when he didn’t study for an exam.” Henry: “Yeah, well what happens when he starts lying to us, like when he’s out drinking with friends.” Amy, laughing: “He’s a birder. He’s not gonna have cool friends.” ~Dahne
3. Henry: “Wow! What are you wearing? You look hot.” Amy: “A teenager’s clothing.” Henry: “Oh, now I feel creepy.”
4. Amy: “Who knew it would be difficult being a mother AND a working woman.” Sarah: “Everyone.” Jodie: “There are literally shelves of books about this, blogs too, podcasts…” ~Dahne
1. Harry: “Asta says I do, so I do.”
2. Sahar: “My mom says when she waxes her legs it feels like being stung by a thousand hornets.” Max: “Then why does she do it?” Sahar: “Because as soon as we hit puberty Western culture tells women we're not okay as we are. We must rip out stuff that's supposed to be there, insert stuff that's not supposed to be there and bleach everything visible to the naked eye.”
3. Harry: “Humans believe they all deserve certain rights. The right to be heard. The right to be respected. Asking for what you deserve in life should not be so hard."
4. Waiter: “If you put ice in the water, you can't taste the water.”
1. Mrs Winnicka: "Nobody cares if I die." Adam "Oh, I dunno. The lion and the wardrobe would probably miss you."
2. Adam (on the phone): "Shruti, get me a spot in emergency theatres now. Ovarian torsion, starved and ready. Uh-huh, yep, that's the one. What? I don't give a sh** what Julian said. Yep. 100% sure. Mm-hm." To Camera " Or 50% sure. And if it's not an ovarian torsion, while I'm in theatres, I can always perform an emergency cutting my own head off."
3. Adam (after checking the deceased Mrs. Winnicka’s vitals and bearing his soul to her one last time): "Don't you dare haunt me."
4. Adam: "And, the delicious...placenta." (Squelchy slap) Mother: "Hang on..isn't this...the placenta?" Adam: "No, that's blood clots from inside your…That's blood clots." Mother retches over him...Adam's pager bleeps
1. Cassidy: “Aw, Kevin. You’ve been blowing up women’s lives for the better part of two decades. You are like a big, handsome, wrecking ball.”
What We’re Watching
1. Pembleton: “You know, being cops, I kind of hoped they'd be better liars.”
2. Pembleton: “Listen, let me tell you something. We're all guilty of something, cruelty, or greed, or, or going 65 in a 55 mile per hour zone. But you know what? You wanna think about yourself as the fair-haired choir boy? You go AHEAD.” Bayliss: “All right. Okay, so, uh, what are you saying, huh?” Pembleton: “I'm saying you got a darkness, you, Tim Bayliss, you got a darkness inside of you. You gotta know the darker, uglier sides of yourself. You gotta recognize them, so that they're not constantly sneaking up on you. You gotta LOVE 'EM, 'cause they're part of you, because along with your virtues, they make you who you are. Virtue isn't virtue unless it slams up against vice. So consequently, your virtue's not real virtue. Until it's been tested. . . tempted.”
