Quote of the Week - Week of April 18th

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.  

911 -

1. Linda: "You guys got a name yet?" FB: "Of the discussion." Maddie: "Still TBD." Linda: "Yeah, you might want to do that a little faster. When my mother went to the hospital, to have my little brother, she didn't have a name picked out either. Then she got caught up in all the emotion, named him after the nice doctor and my brother has been living his entire life regretting it." Maddie: "Oh, my god. What did she name him?" Linda: "Norman." Maddie: "Isn't your last name...?" Linda: "Bates." (Prpleight)

 

Bob Hearts Abishola -

1. Abishola: “Are you all right?” Kemi: “Of course, why?" Abishola: “You are usually almost unprofessional in your enthusiasm." (KathM) 

2. Kemi: “You want to hear my feelings? I am a wretched, withered old stalker who is doomed to die alone.” Abishola: “You are not alone. You have children and grandchildren, some of whom you love very much.”

3. Kemi: “Abishola, I need your help.” Abishola: “It is 2 o’clock in the morning.” Kemi: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know being a best friend had designated hours.”

4. Kemi, in a new wig: “I’ve always been skeptical of the saying, ‘Blondes have more fun,’ but today I cannot deny it. I’ve had more fun.” Loria: “I’m sure having fun looking at you.” Kemi: “You know Abishola, you should try something new. You have had the same look forever.” Abishola: “Oh, I would not want to steal your spotlight.” Kemi: “I am shining, aren’t I? Like a blood diamond.” (Dahne)

 

Chicago PD -

Hank Voight: "Can you believe this? We're tiptoeing around a serial rapist and killer, trying to make sure we don't offend him." Lisa Martinez: "Hoff kept covering his tracks at every turn, which is why I ultimately did what I did. I was afraid we'd never catch him, that he'd keep on killing. If I had just waited, stayed patient, played by the rules, he'd still be in jail, and those two girls would still be alive." Hank Voight: "Lisa, listen to me. You did what you had to do in that moment to make this city safer, make sure he didn't kill more innocent women. You got nothing to apologize for." Samantha Miller: "A guy like this, I'm guessing it's easy to find a reason to subdue him." Hank Voight: "I just wanted to make the arrest, get this guy back in a cage where he belongs. No point giving his lawyer another loophole." (Jessica C) 

 

Cruel Summer -

1. Kate on national TV accusing Jeanette of knowing where she was being held hostage: “Jeanette Turner... I hope you rot in hell.” (Lip)

 

Mayans MC -
EZ: "Are any of us free?" O'Grady: "Fucking existential biker bullshit." (Lisa Macklem)

 

 

 

 

The Nevers -

1. Miss Bidlow: “Gilbert Massen and I agree on almost nothing. It is the bedrock of our friendship."
2. (The city is in an uproar and terrified after Maladie’s killing spree, but Miss Bidlow’s monthly Soirée must go on.) Penance: I thought everyone was in a panic.” Miss Bidlow: “It’s society. Doing nothing is how we panic." (KathM)

 

Prodigal Son -

1. (Martin has kissed the infirmary doctor, and in retrospect she’s not sure she’s okay with it.) Dr. Capshaw: “It was a mistake. It was a total lack of judgement:” Martin: “Most good things are.” (KathM)

 

 

Queen of the South -

1. Marcel [re Lucien]: "Man just gave me a bag full of cash. Why would he do that if he was gonna turn me over?" James: "Maybe he likes you in prison. He's taken over your business now, right?"

2. Teresa: "What would you do if you were me?" Boaz: "You know the answer to that. Got one less bullet in my gun. That's why I don't run a cartel anymore. That's why I'm still standing here now. I'm impulsive. But you aren't. That's why you're the boss."

3. James: "It's hard leaving your people behind. It's why I came back." Marcel: "You came back because you're in love with her." (Folie-lex) 

 

The Rookie -

1. Wesley: "Patrice doesn't do mad. She does disappointed. Fewer wrinkles."
2. James: "What are you doing in my neck of the woods?" Nolan: "James!" Harper: "Just a little covert undercover police work." James: "Oh! Staking out the yoga studio, huh? I always had a bad feeling about that place. No one should be that happy after exercise."
3. Tim: "Look, I teach my recruits according to what they need. Officer Barnes won't wear perfume because she's still worried it'll give away her position. A part of her is still waging a war in Afganistan, and if she's gonna be a cop that has to go. You are a kind and insightful person. You see the good in people, so much so that I had to show you the world can be a scary place. Now Officer Barnes only sees a scary place, and she needs to know that not everyone is out to hurt her." Lucy: "Is she gonna be okay?" Tim: "I think so. And who knows... one day... she might even be as good as you." (Folie-lex)

 

United States of Al -

1. Lizzie: “Riley, I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life.” Riley: “You sure about that?” Lizzie: “You’re an adult man who is sleeping on a couch in his father’s garage. Maybe be open to taking advice.” Riley: “Fine.” Lizzie: “You made a huge sacrifice for your country. Consider making a small one for your dad.”
2. Al: “You cannot go outside barefoot. The neighbors will think you are a savage.” Hazel: “Grampy gets the mail in his boxers. I think it’s too late.”
3. Al: “How will you ever learn to deal with the challenges and hardships of life?” Hazel: “I have plenty of hardships.” Al: “Like when the supermarket has no grape juice?” Hazel: “How about when my dad went to war and I had to be brave and not cry so he wouldn’t be sad? And then he came home and he moved out again. You probably lived longer with him than I did.” Al: “Right. Of course. All that time he was with me...he was not with you.” Hazel: “Yeah.” Al: “But he would want to be with you every day if he could.” Hazel: “He didn’t ask me to move into the garage. Why do you get to?” Al: “Because Hazel, that was the only bed that was offered to me when I came to this country so I took it and I said thank you. Because I know how to be grateful for what I have.” Hazel: “Well, I’m not.” Al: “One day you will see that for the incredible luxury it is.” (Dahne)

What We’re Also Watching

B Positive - 1.11

1. Samantha: “You cannot pass up a willing donor.” Eli: “I agree. If she’s willing to go through with it, that’s her decision. She’s an adult, an adult whose email is still MrsJustinTimberlake143@hotmail.com. But hey, we all got our things.” Gideon: “Well, when she dies because they didn’t know her medical history, her husband Justin can sing at her funeral. Bye, Bye, Bye.”

 

ER -

1. Anna Johnson [to Neela about adversity]: “The strongest trees in the forest can withstand the strongest winds.” (KathM)

 

 

 

 

Major Crimes -

1. Andy: "I'm telling you it's the Dickerhoofs." Provenza: "When you refer to them as a couple, shouldn't it be Dickerhooves?" (Prpleight)

 

 

 

Malcolm in the Middle - 2.07

1. Hal: "Okay Dewey, there's one bat left and it's in your mother's room. Now this one is the tricky bat, the one who has eluded all the other traps. What was it you named him?" Dewey: "Tricky." Hal: "Right. Well, now we have a very good trap but someone has to lure Tricky into it and that someone is you. Dewey: "Why me?" Hal: "Because... you have the shortest hair. You see, if he lands on your head he'll just bite once and fly away, but if he lands on your brothers' or my head he'll get caught in our hair and bite us and bite us until we are dead. You understand that?" Dewey: "Yes." Hal: "Good. Now, I want you to go in that room and poke him with this stick until that bat chases you. Good luck."

2. Craig: "Lois, I love you." Lois: "What?" Craig: "Lois, I love you with all my heart. You’re my reason to get up in the morning, you are my everything." Lois: "Craig..." Craig: "Lois, I don’t want to feel this way. I know you’re married, I know you have four beautiful boys. It’s my heart. I wish I didn’t have a heart. But I do. And I can’t help loving you. I can’t help loving you with my stupid, stupid heart." Lois: "Oh, Craig. Why'd you have to say that? Dear, sweet Craig... I am truly sorry. I'm sorry for the way you feel. I'm sorry for any indication I ever gave you that I consider you anything more than a friend. And I am so sorry for what I have to do now! Because now I have to crush whatever it is in you that made you do what you just did. I am going to have to hurt you very, very badly, but believe me Craig, it's for your own good. Number one. No to everything you just said. No to what you're thinking. No to everything you dream. No to your what-ifs, no to every single fantasy, wish, dream, and elaborate scenario that involves the two of us. No, no, NOOOOOOOOO. Number two." [she twists Craig's wrist] Craig: "OW!" Lois: "Remember that pain! Whenever a thought creeps into your head wondering if there's anything more to the "hello" I gave you in the morning, you remember that pain.You have no future with me. You have nothing with me." Robber: "Whoa, chubs, you got faced." (Lindsey)

Young Sheldon - 4.06

1. Sheldon: “Help me with my clothes.” Missy: “Burn them and get new ones.” Sheldon: “Please, it’s freshman orientation. I want to make a good impression." Missy: “Fine.” Sheldon: “Which bowtie says ‘mature enough to be in college but whimsical enough to discuss which came first, the Higgs field or the photon?’ ” Missy: “They both say ‘weird kid who eats alone.’ ” Sheldon: “Come on. I know you’re concerned about what you’ll wear to middle school.” Missy: “Show me again. The blue one. Plaid’s too busy.” Sheldon: “Thanks.” Missy: “Or don’t be the kid in a bowtie.” Sheldon: “This is not the day to go crazy.” (Dahne)