A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Abishola: “Are you all right?” Kemi: “Of course, why?" Abishola: “You are usually almost unprofessional in your enthusiasm." (KathM)
2. Kemi: “You want to hear my feelings? I am a wretched, withered old stalker who is doomed to die alone.” Abishola: “You are not alone. You have children and grandchildren, some of whom you love very much.”
3. Kemi: “Abishola, I need your help.” Abishola: “It is 2 o’clock in the morning.” Kemi: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know being a best friend had designated hours.”
4. Kemi, in a new wig: “I’ve always been skeptical of the saying, ‘Blondes have more fun,’ but today I cannot deny it. I’ve had more fun.” Loria: “I’m sure having fun looking at you.” Kemi: “You know Abishola, you should try something new. You have had the same look forever.” Abishola: “Oh, I would not want to steal your spotlight.” Kemi: “I am shining, aren’t I? Like a blood diamond.” (Dahne)
EZ: "Are any of us free?" O'Grady: "Fucking existential biker bullshit." (Lisa Macklem)
2. (The city is in an uproar and terrified after Maladie’s killing spree, but Miss Bidlow’s monthly Soirée must go on.) Penance: I thought everyone was in a panic.” Miss Bidlow: “It’s society. Doing nothing is how we panic." (KathM)
1. (Martin has kissed the infirmary doctor, and in retrospect she’s not sure she’s okay with it.) Dr. Capshaw: “It was a mistake. It was a total lack of judgement:” Martin: “Most good things are.” (KathM)
1. Marcel [re Lucien]: "Man just gave me a bag full of cash. Why would he do that if he was gonna turn me over?" James: "Maybe he likes you in prison. He's taken over your business now, right?"
2. Teresa: "What would you do if you were me?" Boaz: "You know the answer to that. Got one less bullet in my gun. That's why I don't run a cartel anymore. That's why I'm still standing here now. I'm impulsive. But you aren't. That's why you're the boss."
3. James: "It's hard leaving your people behind. It's why I came back." Marcel: "You came back because you're in love with her." (Folie-lex)
1. Wesley: "Patrice doesn't do mad. She does disappointed. Fewer wrinkles."
2. James: "What are you doing in my neck of the woods?" Nolan: "James!" Harper: "Just a little covert undercover police work." James: "Oh! Staking out the yoga studio, huh? I always had a bad feeling about that place. No one should be that happy after exercise."
3. Tim: "Look, I teach my recruits according to what they need. Officer Barnes won't wear perfume because she's still worried it'll give away her position. A part of her is still waging a war in Afganistan, and if she's gonna be a cop that has to go. You are a kind and insightful person. You see the good in people, so much so that I had to show you the world can be a scary place. Now Officer Barnes only sees a scary place, and she needs to know that not everyone is out to hurt her." Lucy: "Is she gonna be okay?" Tim: "I think so. And who knows... one day... she might even be as good as you." (Folie-lex)
2. James: "What are you doing in my neck of the woods?" Nolan: "James!" Harper: "Just a little covert undercover police work." James: "Oh! Staking out the yoga studio, huh? I always had a bad feeling about that place. No one should be that happy after exercise."
3. Tim: "Look, I teach my recruits according to what they need. Officer Barnes won't wear perfume because she's still worried it'll give away her position. A part of her is still waging a war in Afganistan, and if she's gonna be a cop that has to go. You are a kind and insightful person. You see the good in people, so much so that I had to show you the world can be a scary place. Now Officer Barnes only sees a scary place, and she needs to know that not everyone is out to hurt her." Lucy: "Is she gonna be okay?" Tim: "I think so. And who knows... one day... she might even be as good as you." (Folie-lex)
2. Al: “You cannot go outside barefoot. The neighbors will think you are a savage.” Hazel: “Grampy gets the mail in his boxers. I think it’s too late.”
3. Al: “How will you ever learn to deal with the challenges and hardships of life?” Hazel: “I have plenty of hardships.” Al: “Like when the supermarket has no grape juice?” Hazel: “How about when my dad went to war and I had to be brave and not cry so he wouldn’t be sad? And then he came home and he moved out again. You probably lived longer with him than I did.” Al: “Right. Of course. All that time he was with me...he was not with you.” Hazel: “Yeah.” Al: “But he would want to be with you every day if he could.” Hazel: “He didn’t ask me to move into the garage. Why do you get to?” Al: “Because Hazel, that was the only bed that was offered to me when I came to this country so I took it and I said thank you. Because I know how to be grateful for what I have.” Hazel: “Well, I’m not.” Al: “One day you will see that for the incredible luxury it is.” (Dahne)
What We’re Also Watching
1. Samantha: “You cannot pass up a willing donor.” Eli: “I agree. If she’s willing to go through with it, that’s her decision. She’s an adult, an adult whose email is still MrsJustinTimberlake143@hotmail.com. But hey, we all got our things.” Gideon: “Well, when she dies because they didn’t know her medical history, her husband Justin can sing at her funeral. Bye, Bye, Bye.”
1. Anna Johnson [to Neela about adversity]: “The strongest trees in the forest can withstand the strongest winds.” (KathM)
1. Andy: "I'm telling you it's the Dickerhoofs." Provenza: "When you refer to them as a couple, shouldn't it be Dickerhooves?" (Prpleight)
1. Hal: "Okay Dewey, there's one bat left and it's in your mother's room. Now this one is the tricky bat, the one who has eluded all the other traps. What was it you named him?" Dewey: "Tricky." Hal: "Right. Well, now we have a very good trap but someone has to lure Tricky into it and that someone is you. Dewey: "Why me?" Hal: "Because... you have the shortest hair. You see, if he lands on your
head he'll just bite once and fly away, but if he lands on your
brothers' or my head he'll get caught in our hair and bite us and bite
us until we are dead. You understand that?" Dewey: "Yes." Hal: "Good. Now, I want you to go in that room and poke him with this stick until that bat chases you. Good luck."
2. Craig: "Lois, I love you."
Lois: "What?" Craig: "Lois, I love you with all my heart. You’re my reason to get
up in the morning, you are my everything."
Lois: "Craig..."
Craig: "Lois, I don’t want to feel this way. I know you’re married,
I know you have four beautiful boys. It’s my heart. I wish
I didn’t have a heart. But I do. And I can’t help loving
you. I can’t help loving you with my stupid, stupid heart."
Lois: "Oh, Craig. Why'd you have to say that? Dear, sweet Craig... I am truly
sorry. I'm sorry for the way you feel. I'm sorry for any indication I
ever gave you that I consider you anything more than a friend. And I am so sorry for what I have to do now! Because now I have to crush whatever
it is in you that made you do what you just did. I am going to have to
hurt you very, very badly, but believe me Craig, it's for your own good.
Number one. No to everything you just said. No to what you're thinking.
No to everything you dream. No to your what-ifs, no to every single
fantasy, wish, dream, and elaborate scenario that involves the two of
us. No, no, NOOOOOOOOO. Number two." [she twists Craig's wrist] Craig: "OW!" Lois: "Remember that pain! Whenever a thought creeps into your head wondering
if there's anything more to the "hello" I gave you in the morning, you
remember that pain.You have no future with me. You have nothing with me." Robber: "Whoa, chubs, you got faced." (Lindsey)
