A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Anne: “I’m a straight-as-an-arrow 52-year-old. I was married to one man, my high school sweetheart, for 25 years. I’m in a book club, I go to church on Sundays. and somehow I’m in a relationship with someone that when he says the words “output connector”, all I can think about is sex.” ~Red has a girlfriend and she really likes him. Especially when he heads over to the hardware store to get parts to fix the turntable. (KathM)
Bob Hearts Abishola -
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier -
MacGyver -
Magnum, PI -
The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers -
Queen of the South -
Rebel -
The Rookie -
United States of Al -
1. Abishola: "How could you do this to me?" Bob: "Oh, no. Are [the flowers] ugly? They never look the same as the picture." Abishola: "They are beautiful and they should not be here." Bob: "But they're your favourite." Abishola: "I am trying to set an example for these nurses. And now you've undermined my authority with this lovely gesture." Bob: "Wait. Does this mean you like 'em or you hate 'em?" Abishola: "BOTH!" (Folie-lex)
2. Dotty: "I wonder what Abishola is doing right now." Christina: "Probably saving somebody's life." Douglas: "Yeah." Dotty: "Probably. Does it bother you that she's a better person than all three of us combined?" Christina: "A little." Douglas: "Not enough to do anything about it." (Folie-lex and Dahne)
3. Gloria: "How'd it go?" Abishola: "It went well. Although the nurses proved a little more difficult to manage than I expected." Gloria: "Managing the nurses is kinda the whole job." Abishola: "In that case it did not go well." (Folie-lex)
1. Sam, to Bucky: “ You got to stop looking to other people to tell you who you are.” (KathM and Folie-lex)
2. Torres: “Sometimes there’s nothing to do until there’s something to do.” Sam: “That’s bizarrely wise, man.” Torres: “ Well, I’m a bizarrely wise man, Sam.” (KathM and Folie-lex)
3. Val, played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus, to John Walker: “Valentina. Allegra. de Fontaine. Actually it’s Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine. I know it’s hard, and I don’t like to repeat myself, so you can just call me Val. But don’t call me Val. Just keep it in your head.“ ~You need to pay close attention when she introduces herself, or you might miss something. (KathM)
4. Sam: "I need to understand." Isaiah: "You understand. Every black man does. Whether you wanna deny it or not..." Sam: "Don't do that bitter old man thing with me." Isaiah: "If you ain't bitter, you're blind." (Folie-lex)
1. Lauretta, saving Bozer: “You done picked the wrong mama’s boy to mess with.” (Dahne)
2. Lauretta: “You know, I always wanted to raise a son that understood the importance of giving back, but now...I see you paying it forward in a much bigger way. I couldn’t be more proud.” (Dahne)
3. Desi, after flinging a bad guy off the balcony: “You guys alright down there?” Lauretta: “She’s got my blessing.” ~Bozer’s mom stole the whole show this episode. (Dahne)
1. Gordon: "Hey, what kind of case were you guys working on for her?" Magnum: "Sylvia had a vision of a murder and hired us to stop it." Gordon: "... Oh, you're serious." (Folie-lex)
2. Madame Evanora: "Walls keep things out, but not just the bad. Sometimes a guarded heart is what ends up hurting us most." Higgins: "And what's that supposed to mean?" Madame Evanora: "That's all I got." (Folie-lex)
3. Magnum: "Ethan can know who you are without knowing every aspect of your past." Higgins: "Yeah, but it's not fair to him. He deserves the truth." Magnum: "Maybe you should tell him." Higgins: "Yeah. Yeah, I think I have to. I just hope he can forgive my dishonesty." Magnum: "You kept aspects of your past a secret to protect yourself and the people that you care about. If Ethan holds that against you, he's not the one." Higgins: "Thank you, Thomas." (Folie-lex)
1. Lauren: "I don't want to be mean but wasn't she way better on the Ducks?" Maya: "Yeah. It's like trying to get a hot guy to ask you out, and then he finally does, and then you look at him and realise he's not that hot." (Folie-lex)
2. Gordon: "You know what I think? I think you have taken too much crap from too many people for far too long, so much so that it's gotten into your soul." Alex: "Oh ''my soul'', really?" Gordon: "Yeah. This is bigger than hockey, Alex. This is about you standing up for yourself. This is about you getting angry. And aren't you tired of hearing about your ''cute little hockey team''?" Alex: "Yeah, it's snobby." Gordon: "And what about Stephanie, talking smack about the Ice Palace? She's so afraid to come down into this neighbourhood." Alex: "We did have that string of murders." Gordon: "That was two blocks away." (Folie-lex)
3. Koob: "I just had more fun trying to get my phone than I've had on my phone in a long time, so I will stay. I like sleepovers." (Folie-lex)
1. Pote: "You risked your life to be here, and you're gonna leave just like that?" James: "She doesn't want me to stay." Pote: "She might not want you to stay, cabron, but she needs you." (Folie-lex)
2. Pote: "I'm sorry about Wheeler, Kelly Anne. I lost my temper. I saw those boys and I...I thought of Tony." Kelly Anne: "Yeah. All those lives he destroyed. Man like that has it coming," Pote: "You're not upset?" Kelly Anne: "No... I'm pregnant." (Folie-lex)
3. Teresa: "You work for me now. When I call, you answer on the second ring, you do exactly what I say, or I'll destroy the only thing you have left: your family's name." (Folie-lex)
1. Rebel: “It’s not always easy to get my attention. Maybe he was just trying to get my attention.“ Lana: "Any man who would file for divorce to get your attention doesn‘t deserve your attention.“ (Julia K and Dahne)
2. Cruz: "Have you thought this thing through?" Cassidy: "Cruz, I‘d work for you forever but I barely work for you. As long as I‘m here, I mainly work for her and mostly for free. I just need to break free a little bit. You know, to spread my wings." Cruz: "A yes or no would have sufficed. I didn‘t need a Whitney Houston song. I‘d wish you luck but I‘m too bitter." (Julia K)
3. Jason: "It‘s hatemail and threats and homophobic slurs, ever since I gave him a fully earned D." Rebel: "A grade? Some kid is doing this over a grade?" Lana: "No, he is doing it cause he is a Nazi. The grade just gave him a target."
(Julia K)
4. Lana, watching Rebel take target practice in the backyard: “Whew! I would ask you how you’re doing, but I think I have my answer.” Rebel: “My husband filed for divorce with no warning. If you could see the scenarios playing out in my imagination, you’d understand how healthy this choice is.” (Dahne)
5. Lana, to Rebel: “Don’t look at me like that with a gun in your hand.” (Dahne)
1. Tim: "You text me 911 on my day off to ask me if a dress makes you look fat?" Angela: "Does it?" Tim: "YES! Because you're pregnant. Are you ashamed of your baby?" Angela: "Of course not." Tim: "Okay, then who cares what your stupid friends think! Show off that baby belly! Wear what you feel confident in." (Folie-lex)
2. Harper: "Caradine, he will...he will work this case hard and we get to go home." Nolan: "Uh, more accurately you get to go to my house to pick up the camping gear." Harper: "Mm." Nolan: "So you can spend the night in the great outdoors with a bunch of second graders and a man... who may or may not hate you... 'cause you blew him off." Harper: "You know, I feel like you enjoyed saying that just a little too much." Nolan: "Did I smile? I was trying not to smile." Harper: "I saw it." Nolan: "Sorry. Guilty." (Folie-lex)
3. Grey: "Look, I know the transition from rookie to P2 isn't always...as satisfying as officers think it's going to be. No parties, no cupcakes, no 30-year-old bottles of scotch." Jackson: "Dad told you, huh?" Grey: "I can't believe you fell for it." Jackson: "Me either,sir." Grey: "Did you become a cop for the attaboys, Officer West?" Jackson: "No, sir." Grey: "How about you, Chen? Why'd you become a police officer?" Lucy: "Because I wanted to do something meaningful with my life, sir." Grey: "And are you?" Lucy: "Yeah, absolutely." Grey: "That girl wouldn't be here if it weren't for the work you did today. I'm putting you both up for the Distinguished Service Medal." (Folie-lex)
1. Al: "Maybe I'm just a bad driver." Riley: "What are you talking about? Dude, I've seen you drive through a mortar attack and even under fire you used your turn signals." (Folie-lex)
2. Al: "She was wearing shorts." Lizzie: "So?" Al: "So I almost had a heart attack." Art: "Wait, didn't you once charge a bunch of Taliban while your whole squad was retreating?" Al: "The Taliban were wearing pants." Riley: "And Marines don't retreat. We advance in a different direction." (Folie-lex)
