1st Base, 2nd Base, 3rd Base...and whatever a Florida Home Run is, it's all happening under the Otto roof. In this week's American Housewife, the Otto kids find new ways to send their parents over the edge!
It's evening at the Otto house, and Katie and Greg are keeping Franklin for the next two weeks, while his mom takes her pilgrimage to the pyramids to see if the aliens abduct her and take her back to their home planet! ("Say what you will about cults. They take some very nice trips!") Oliver and Cooper are bickering, because Oliver's been spending most of his free time working on the Gifty app with Trevor, while Cooper's feeling pushed to the side.
The next morning, the whole family and (their un-officially adoptive extra kids!) all pile into the bathroom to get ready. Oliver and Cooper continue to bicker ("The honeymoon phase is over!") Anna-Kat and Franklin both come in and complain of swollen glands, but Katie's sure they're faking it to get out of school. "Next time, throw a can of mushroom soup on the floor and say you barfed!" she advises. And then an obviously still half-asleep Tripp waltzes in, still in his PJs, and casually announces he slept over. "Taylor said you'd be cool with it," he tells Katie. No, Katie is not "cool with it."
Apparently, when Katie told Taylor to start acting like she was in college, Taylor decided to really go all the way, and just like college girls do - start having her boyfriend sleepover! But, not to worry - "...we were mostly doing other stuff," Trip assures Katie. Only a little bit of the night was taken up by sex!
A terrified Greg tells Katie this changes his whole relationship with Trip. "He was my guy. But he broke the bro code. Bros before hoes!" Greg declares. When Katie reminds him that he's talking about his daughter, he quickly switches back into panicked father mode. "Oh god, my baby!" he yells. Katie bows out to take Anna-Kat and Franklin to school, and Greg attempts to scare Trip by "casually" polishing his gun (aka his Revolutionary War musket!) Unsurprisingly, Trip's not too intimidated!
At 2nd Breakfast, Katie talks with a still-in-Hawaii-Doris over video chat about her Taylor and Trip discovery. Doris advises she needs to loosen up now that Taylor's an adult. Otherwise, Taylor might do what Doris herself did as a young adult with overly strict parents - "revenge-bang" on everything Katie loves! A horrified Katie decides she doesn't want to take that chance!
While Doris gives a seriously rude waiter a piece of her mind ("I look down on waiters, ok? They don't look down on me!"), Katie gets a call that she needs to pick Anna-Kat and Franklin up from school. Apparently, they really are sick!
Katie takes them to the doctor, only to find out they have mono. And everyone knows how you get mono! Yeah, apparently "Daddy's pure little princess" has some extracurriculars she hasn't been divulging! As they both continue to freak out about Anna-Kat and Franklin, Katie tells Greg they have to rethink Taylor and Trip spending the night together if they have any hope of ever being allowed to see their hypothetical future grandchildren at Thanksgiving.
The two go to Taylor and Trip and tell them they've had a change of heart, and they're okay with the two doing "adult activities" under their roof. (No Trip, not like taxes!) Katie tells them to "have at it." "If someone is gonna pleasure with my daughter, it would be my pleasure if it was you. Go get her pal!," Greg says to Trip. (OH GOD GREG! Of all the things you could say!)
The two then move on to Anna-Kat and Franklin, both of whom seem dumbfounded as to why they're being constantly watched. "Is it because of my sleep kicking?" Franklin asks. "I don't do that anymore. I have Anna-Kat tie my legs down with bungee cords." (Of course, you do Franklin!)
When Katie says they're in trouble because of the kissing, Anna-Kat and Franklin are even more dumbfounded. She and Greg then tag-team the world's worst "Your Body's Changing" talk. A now grossed-out Anna-Kat and Franklin aren't happy that Greg and Katie thought they'd actually started kissing. "If anything, we passed it by sharing that metal straw you made us use," Anna-Kat tells Greg.
Relieved to find out Anna-Kat and Franklin weren't actually kissing, Katie and Greg go back to seriously messing up with Taylor and Trip. To further prove they're "okay" with Taylor and Trip having sex under their roof, Katie and Greg make them a gift basket (aka a "sex basket) full of all the "essentials" for a romantic night in. Yeah, Trip, I liked it better when Greg was pointing his gun at you too!
Meanwhile, Oliver and Cooper finally reach their breaking point when Oliver finds out Cooper watched their favorite show without him. Cooper tells Oliver he can't keep putting his life "on pause." Oliver contends that he's doing what he's doing so he'll be able to get into Harvard, but Cooper isn't having it. At dinner, Oliver cements their rift by refusing to let Cooper eat the crusts on his pizza (apparently Cooper always takes them because Oliver doesn't eat them). Instead, Oliver gives them to someone who really appreciates loyalty - Luther!
Katie and Greg intervene in the squabble and tell the two they can either grow together or grow apart. They agree they want to grow together and Oliver asks Cooper if he wants to join the business, which Cooper happily accepts.
Anna-Kat and Franklin wonder since Greg assumed they were kissing if they really should be. They decide to head to Anna-Kat's tent and try it, but once there they both have second thoughts. They agree that they don't have to grow up so fast and take that step until they're ready. For now, they'll just stick to their shadow puppets making out!
Upstairs, Taylor and Trip begin looking through the "sex basket" from Katie and Greg. They're already deeply unsure what to make of it when they find the fuzzy pink handcuffs and decide it's all just too strange. (Oh my god - what are you thinking Katie and Greg?) The two tell Katie and Greg that they've decided to follow Katie's original suggestion and have sex in whatever place they can find that ISN"T the house. In fact, they're heading to the Stop-N-Shop right now! (It has a "big stall with a handicap rail!") Katie tells Taylor that "for the record" she and Greg are still being supportive, so she has to come home for Thanksgiving when she's older. A bewildered Taylor agrees.
Random Thoughts:
-Franklin really is a genius at those shadow puppets!
-The best line goes to Katie when discussing her and Greg loosening up on the kids - "What's next for us? Making Oliver martinis? Letting Anna-Kat visit her pen-pal in prison?" I'm dying to know - does Anna-Kat seriously have a pen-pal in prison?
What did you think of Katie and Greg's reactions to Taylor and Trip? Were you as embarrassed for them as I was?
