A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Simmons: "I have to remove the bullet." Ernest: "Just what I need. A dead body in here because some dame..." Simmons: "I’m a doctor, not a dame."
2. Simmons [Simmons needs to analyze something and needs some ad-hoc equipment]: "I need some alcohol, 90 proof or better." Ernest: "I like the way this bird sings." Simmons: "I’m a biochemist, not a bird." (KathM)
The Baker and the Beauty - 1. Vanessa [to Noa]: "Daniel never looked at me the way he looks at you. So thank you. I would have rather found that out tonight than 20 years from now."
2. Piper: "Well that was fun." Lewis: "Inspirational. In a Mussolini sort of way."
3. Mateo: "Well I’m no expert, but I would imagine that the right woman makes you better. Makes you walk a little bit taller. Makes you feel like anything’s possible. Now that doesn’t mean that when you meet her the circumstances are ideal, I mean that can get really tricky, but I would hope those could be overcome... if she’s the one." (Folie-lex)2. Piper: "Well that was fun." Lewis: "Inspirational. In a Mussolini sort of way."
1. Rich: "Let's call it 'Death Gas 2000'." (and yes, I remember the original Death Race 2000 - Prpleight)
2. Rich: "I'm gonna throw this out there. A few years ago, I met a guy in Nepal who taught me a, let's say experimental hypnosis method. I'm going to need a stick of incense, a quail feather and a whole bunch of diazepam." Zapata: "Hard pass." (Prpleight)
1. Javier: “Tomorrow, we’ll work on a budget to help us save for our own place and I’ve found a great financial planning workshop at Valley College. We are a team. Together, we can get through anything.” Lizzie: “You’re so sexy when you listen to me.”
2. Barry: “I was thinking about what you said before and it’s possible I haven’t always been great at following through.” Jackie: “Well, you did quit seeing our marriage counselor because he was a Jimmy Buffett fan.” Barry: “I’m not gonna take life advice from a Parrothead.” Jackie: “You didn’t like him saying it’s your own damn fault.”
3. Lizzie: “Javi, what are you doing? It’s the middle of the night.” Javier: “Oh, I couldn’t sleep and I’m so sorry I called you a nag.” Lizzie: “You didn’t call me a nag.” Javier: “Oh, then I definitely didn’t think it, either.” Lizzie: “Well, I’m sorry about all the things I definitely didn’t think about you tonight, too.” (Dahne and Folie-lex)
4. Javier: "Ah, don’t worry Sammy. Everything will work itself out." Sammy: "How?" Javier: "Well I wasn’t expecting a follow up question."
6. Jackie: "Well it wouldn’t be terrible if he ended up a little bit like you." Barry: "Really?" Jackie: "Yeah. You’re fun and enthusiastic. I want Sammy to be practical, but I never want him to stop dreaming big." Barry: "Thanks." (Folie-lex)
1. Villanelle: "Isn’t it romantic?" Eve: "You know who the only people who would think that are?" Villanelle: "Who?" Eve: "Us." (KathM)
1. Adam: "Now put your hands at 10 and 2, like a clock." Katie: "No one uses clocks anymore. What would it be on a phone?"
2. Adam: "Read the room Andi." Andi: "I did. Half the room thinks it’s funny."
3. Adam: "You know when I got my licence it meant I was growing up and it was the greatest feeling in the world. But now that I’m a parent watching it happen to you? It is the scariest feeling in the world." (Folie-lex)
Penny Dreadful: City of Angels -
1. Lewis: "We got a dead cop, Captain. You want to find out what really happened to him or just beat a confession out of the first scared kid we put the bracelets on?"2. Diego: "Man, I been sitting here trying to figure it out: are you a cop pretending to be Mexican or a Mexican pretending to be a cop? But now I get it. You don’t even know yourself."
3. Townsend: "That’s what I love about LA." Kurt: "That you saw Fred Astaire?" Townsend: "That I could be Fred Astaire. LA doesn’t care who you are when you arrive. It only cares about who you make yourself into." (Folie-lex)
1. Liz: “You want to destroy my family on a bogus vandalism charge? Why do we have to be perfect to deserve to exist within some arbitrary border? Why is it okay for you to screw up but not me?” (Jamie Coudeville and Prpleight)
2. Isobel: “You weren’t here, my brain picks locks now.”
3. Isobel: “That was not made in Roswell.” (Jamie Coudeville)
1. Layton: "Oh you’re not getting a cut? Authoritarian states usually control their own drug trades." Melanie: "Snowpiercer’s an ark. It’s not an authoritarian state." Layton: "Heh... okay..."
2. Layton: "It’s only doors between us." (Folie-lex)
1. Pat: "A kid died today. A child. That's why we can't go on." Courtney: "A kid died today, and that's exactly why we have to, Pat." (Folie-lex and Prpleight)
1. Victor: "You are your mother’s daughter." Emma: "Yes I am."
2. Lyn: "I have this problem where I let myself become whatever dudes want me to be. And I thought I had figured it out, but I just fell right back into it. With papi too, if I’m being honest. So t has to stop. And I’m stopping."
3. Nico [to Emma]: "Come have no plan with me."
4. Emma: "You break my heart Lyn." Lyn: "Please don’t give up on me Emma. Please don’t give up on me. You’re the only one that’s never given up on me. Not when you were trying to get me to understand pre-calculus and not since we opened this place. Even when I fuck up, you’ve never given up on me. So please, please don’t give up on me now. ‘Cause you... you’re all I have." (Folie-lex)
