A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Sutton: “Jane, you’re the boss.” Jane: “Yeah, yeah. I’m the boss.” Sutton: “Yeah.” Jane: “Oh, no. I’m the boss. What do I do?”
2. Oliver: “Where does it hurt?” Richard: “Mostly my ego.”
3. Oliver: “If your writer isn’t giving you what you need…” Jane: “Then I should just write it myself.” Oliver: “I was gonna say throw a phone at him but that works as well.” (Jamie Coudeville)
4. Kat: "Remember that time Sutton wore that high necked thing that looked like she got a doily from Grandma’s linen closet, that just attached itself to her neck?" Jane: "That looked like her head was coming out of the arm of a couch." Kat: "Just like 'Ghah!'" Sutton: "I look forward to seeing how this is relevant."
5. Richard: "Where is your assistant? I thought he was supposed to the Sutton to your Oliver?" Sutton: "Yeah, well he is except I sent him home because he has a kitten to take care of." Richard: "You have a baby!" Sutton: "Hey, don’t say that so loud. And anyway it’s hard enough that you’ve been hovering over me. You know are you gonna be doing this for the next nine months?" Richard: "Yes, and it’s not hovering, it’s called caring."
6. Richard: "I wasn’t much help today, obviously. And I was being so overprotective, and I promise I will get better at that. But you need to get better at asking for help." Sutton: "I’m gonna try." (Folie-lex)
Broke -
1. Javier: “Don Dominguez is right. There is nothing left to discuss. Here’s your jacket. I think you should leave.” Don Dominguez: “Are you sure you want to do this?” Javier: “You should be proud to have raised a son as kind, generous, and as impeccably dressed as Luis. This is a home built on love and respect and until you're ready to accept Luis exactly as he is, you’re not welcome here.” (Dahne, Prpleight, and Folie-lex)
1. Javier: “Don Dominguez is right. There is nothing left to discuss. Here’s your jacket. I think you should leave.” Don Dominguez: “Are you sure you want to do this?” Javier: “You should be proud to have raised a son as kind, generous, and as impeccably dressed as Luis. This is a home built on love and respect and until you're ready to accept Luis exactly as he is, you’re not welcome here.” (Dahne, Prpleight, and Folie-lex)
2. Lizzie: “Jackie, I’m sorry but I can’t. Okay, I...I have lost so much these past few months. The only thing I have left is my dignity. If I do what he says, I have nothing.” Jackie: “Okay.” Lizzie: “I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal but…” Jackie: “No, I get it. I don’t want you to humiliate yourself. I’ll be fine.” Lizzie: “Really?” Jackie: “Really.” Lizzie: “So you’re not gonna say, ‘Suck it up, Lizzie. You’re being petty for caring about what a bunch of losers on Facebook think of you.?’ “ Jackie: “Nope.” Lizzie: “Well you should be saying that because I should suck it because I am being petty. You need this job. Okay, Nick, I’ll lie and say you dumped me, you thick-necked, sausage-fingered, son of a snitch. Get it together, Jackie.”
3. Jackie: “You don’t think I’m a six, do you?” Old Man: “As a feminist, I feel uncomfortable answering that.” (Dahne and Folie-lex)
3. Jackie: “You don’t think I’m a six, do you?” Old Man: “As a feminist, I feel uncomfortable answering that.” (Dahne and Folie-lex)
4. Jackie: "What's going on in here? It's only seven thirty in the morning and the table is all fancy, and the place looks less..." Luis: "Greasy?" Lizzie: "Grimey?" Javier: "Sticky?" Jackie: "I was gonna say cluttered."
5. Luis: "No peaking, we are almost there." Javier: "I LOVE surprises!" Luis: "I know that's why I'm doing this." Lizzie: "I hate surprises." Jackie: "I know! That's why I'm doing this!" (Folie-lex)
Hightown -
1. Devonne: "Look at me. I put on heels. I put on makeup. I put on makeup thinking about how you’d changed, how nice it was all gonna be. How I always knew the day would come and you’d cut it all out and fly right. And just for a second I even let myself be surprised that you are completely fucked up." Jackie: "No no no no, I’m not fucked up." Devonne: "It’s fine. I’m not mad, not at you. You’ve been telling me for years who you are. I’m the one who hasn’t been listening."
2. Renee [Watching Dirty Dancing]: "They’re in love." Ray: "They SO are." Renee: "This scene is perfect, except he’s about to do air guitar. Don’t do it Patrick! Don’t do it!" Ray: "Nooo...! That was a sweet move." Renee: "Yeah, okay..."
3. Krista [leaving Jackie a message]: "Hey, this is Krista. Krista Collins. You came to see me, and... I don’t know why and I don’t... I don’t even really care, I just... if you want to help me, that’s awesome. Help. Thanks." (Folie-lex)
1. Devonne: "Look at me. I put on heels. I put on makeup. I put on makeup thinking about how you’d changed, how nice it was all gonna be. How I always knew the day would come and you’d cut it all out and fly right. And just for a second I even let myself be surprised that you are completely fucked up." Jackie: "No no no no, I’m not fucked up." Devonne: "It’s fine. I’m not mad, not at you. You’ve been telling me for years who you are. I’m the one who hasn’t been listening."
2. Renee [Watching Dirty Dancing]: "They’re in love." Ray: "They SO are." Renee: "This scene is perfect, except he’s about to do air guitar. Don’t do it Patrick! Don’t do it!" Ray: "Nooo...! That was a sweet move." Renee: "Yeah, okay..."
3. Krista [leaving Jackie a message]: "Hey, this is Krista. Krista Collins. You came to see me, and... I don’t know why and I don’t... I don’t even really care, I just... if you want to help me, that’s awesome. Help. Thanks." (Folie-lex)
Love, Victor -
1. Victor: “I just want to say… Screw you. Screw you for having the world’s most accepting parents. The world’s most supportive friends. Because for some of us, it’s not that easy.”
2. Victor: “Some guys like guys, some guys like girls, some guys like both, and some guys like… feet?”
3. Pilar: “We had church barbecues. If you wear a sundress that’s above the knee, it means you go to Hell.” (Alison D)
One Day at a Time -
1. Penelope: “Her name is Alice, but they nicknamed her Margarita because that’s how she got made.”
2. Elena: “Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you facts don’t matter anymore.” Penelope: “What?" Elena: "Yeah, they had a good run but it turns out people want to believe what they believe more than they want to believe what is actually true.” Penelope: “Is that true?” Elena: “Does it matter?”
3. Penelope: “You think he keeps you safe? He mishandles every crisis that comes his way. Look at Puerto Rico. A hurricane, earthquakes, the whole island without power. And that guy comes and he throws a bunch of paper towels, and then he’s like “Bye!”. Now imagine something happening on a global scale. Something so huge, it completely shuts everything down, and we’re stuck waiting for someone to lead us while we watch episodes of our favorite TV shows, but now they have to be animated. I know, it sounds crazy, but look into my eyes and tell me that that’s the guy who will get us through it. Remember when we used to joke about this stuff? 'I’m a crazy liberal, you’re a stuffy conservative, ha ha ha.' I miss that. Us being on opposite sides isn’t new. But now it’s different. This guy made it different. People used to actually try to hide their racism. But the president made it cool again! We have to stand up for one another now more than ever. That’s why we need to say black lives matter, trans lives matter, brown lives matter. When he calls Mexicans drug dealers and rapists, you think that doesn’t affect you? Do you think if your son was in that Walmart where the guy said he was there to shoot all the Mexicans, he would’ve stopped to ask if Flavio was Cuban before pulling the trigger? He wouldn’t have cared. Because the president told him immigrants are dangerous and don’t deserve to be here. You want to keep us safe? How about not deporting people who fought for this country. Who served with me, who risked their lives for you? Crazy idea, what if, when people came to this country, we were like 'Oh, are you fleeing a horrible situation? Please, come on in, it’s all good! Love your food, love your music. Anyway, we’re gonna give you a little help. Oh, God, you’re doing amazing! You’ve actually made this place better!' Oh wait, that’s not a crazy idea. That was literally us when our family fled Cuba! How quickly we forget! America is great because we don’t just fight for ourselves. We fight for people we will never meet. Just like when our parents came here. Strangers organized their trips, arranged for them to be safe. Strangers. We can’t benefit from the kindness of strangers and then turn our backs on the ones who need us to stand up for them. Because that’s what kept us safe. And that’s what’s beautiful about this country.” (Jamie Coudeville)
4. Elena [re: their conservative relatives]: "Because they're like us, I always forget they're like that."
5. Alex: "Kay, we need an issue to use as an example." Penny: "Lets start with the thing I know best." Alex: "90's boybands?" Elena: "All the places to get something free on your birthday?" Lydia: "How to not wear lipstick but still succeed?" Penny: "Dang! I'm good at a lot of things. But I was talking about healthcare."
6. Penny: "Okay, we can do this. I know they're nuts, but they're family and we love them." Estrellita: "Okay, we can do this. I know they're crazy liberals, but they're family and we love them." (Folie-lex)
Penny Dreadful: City of Angels -
1. Tiago: "Fucking Los Angeles. I don’t know that we can save her." Lewis: "Save her? Pal, we’re just trying to survive her."
2. Linda: "You can keep the goddamn kids. You can keep the house. I’ll go to Reno and wait out the divorce, won’t even name her as co-respondent in the proceedings. But then know this: As soon as it’s all legal, and I’m fucking the young tennis pro at the club, I’ll make it my singular mission to take your life apart. Oh and it’s a house of cards darling. I’ll pull them out one, by one." (Folie-lex)
Roswell, New Mexico -
1. Michael: "Save it. We're sick of being pissed at you for being so obnoxiously yourself."
2. Isobel: "I feel like we should learn more before we open that door." (Prpleight)
5. Isobel: “There, now can we all cowboy up and focus, please?” (Jamie Coudeville)
6. Maria: “I know. I don’t doubt your capacity for love, ‘cause you made me so happy... this year. And I loved being someone that made you happy. I just think that we should leave it be, before I wonder if someone else could make you happier.”
7. Tripp: “It was as if we were built from the same star... drawn together by something cosmic.” (Alison D)
Snowpiercer -
1. Audrey: "You need to care about the lives of Third, because seven days a week, three shifts a day we keep the bearings greased and the cold at bay. We draw straws to have children and we die from preventable accidents and diseases you get treatment for. I haven’t come to this place easily. When we left Chicago we needed Mr. Wilford’s iron order to survive. But almost 19 revolutions later, seven years, I know all of you, and I know we need to save our souls." (Folie-lex)
Stargirl -
1. Courtney: "I don’t even know you." Beth: "Um... Well... A, we eat lunch together every day. And B, last night at the hospital I heard you call Yolanda by her real name." Chuck: "That is a common rookie superhero mistake."
2. Beth: "So this is a party... Parties are loud!"
3. Rick: "Do you know what it’s like to be so filled up with anger that you feel like you’re poisoning yourself? Do you? I want to hit something, anything, all of the time. Every second. You think I like that. I hate feeling this way." (Folie-lex)
1. Victor: “I just want to say… Screw you. Screw you for having the world’s most accepting parents. The world’s most supportive friends. Because for some of us, it’s not that easy.”
2. Victor: “Some guys like guys, some guys like girls, some guys like both, and some guys like… feet?”
3. Pilar: “We had church barbecues. If you wear a sundress that’s above the knee, it means you go to Hell.” (Alison D)
1. Penelope: “Her name is Alice, but they nicknamed her Margarita because that’s how she got made.”
2. Elena: “Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you facts don’t matter anymore.” Penelope: “What?" Elena: "Yeah, they had a good run but it turns out people want to believe what they believe more than they want to believe what is actually true.” Penelope: “Is that true?” Elena: “Does it matter?”
3. Penelope: “You think he keeps you safe? He mishandles every crisis that comes his way. Look at Puerto Rico. A hurricane, earthquakes, the whole island without power. And that guy comes and he throws a bunch of paper towels, and then he’s like “Bye!”. Now imagine something happening on a global scale. Something so huge, it completely shuts everything down, and we’re stuck waiting for someone to lead us while we watch episodes of our favorite TV shows, but now they have to be animated. I know, it sounds crazy, but look into my eyes and tell me that that’s the guy who will get us through it. Remember when we used to joke about this stuff? 'I’m a crazy liberal, you’re a stuffy conservative, ha ha ha.' I miss that. Us being on opposite sides isn’t new. But now it’s different. This guy made it different. People used to actually try to hide their racism. But the president made it cool again! We have to stand up for one another now more than ever. That’s why we need to say black lives matter, trans lives matter, brown lives matter. When he calls Mexicans drug dealers and rapists, you think that doesn’t affect you? Do you think if your son was in that Walmart where the guy said he was there to shoot all the Mexicans, he would’ve stopped to ask if Flavio was Cuban before pulling the trigger? He wouldn’t have cared. Because the president told him immigrants are dangerous and don’t deserve to be here. You want to keep us safe? How about not deporting people who fought for this country. Who served with me, who risked their lives for you? Crazy idea, what if, when people came to this country, we were like 'Oh, are you fleeing a horrible situation? Please, come on in, it’s all good! Love your food, love your music. Anyway, we’re gonna give you a little help. Oh, God, you’re doing amazing! You’ve actually made this place better!' Oh wait, that’s not a crazy idea. That was literally us when our family fled Cuba! How quickly we forget! America is great because we don’t just fight for ourselves. We fight for people we will never meet. Just like when our parents came here. Strangers organized their trips, arranged for them to be safe. Strangers. We can’t benefit from the kindness of strangers and then turn our backs on the ones who need us to stand up for them. Because that’s what kept us safe. And that’s what’s beautiful about this country.” (Jamie Coudeville)
4. Elena [re: their conservative relatives]: "Because they're like us, I always forget they're like that."
5. Alex: "Kay, we need an issue to use as an example." Penny: "Lets start with the thing I know best." Alex: "90's boybands?" Elena: "All the places to get something free on your birthday?" Lydia: "How to not wear lipstick but still succeed?" Penny: "Dang! I'm good at a lot of things. But I was talking about healthcare."
6. Penny: "Okay, we can do this. I know they're nuts, but they're family and we love them." Estrellita: "Okay, we can do this. I know they're crazy liberals, but they're family and we love them." (Folie-lex)
1. Tiago: "Fucking Los Angeles. I don’t know that we can save her." Lewis: "Save her? Pal, we’re just trying to survive her."
2. Linda: "You can keep the goddamn kids. You can keep the house. I’ll go to Reno and wait out the divorce, won’t even name her as co-respondent in the proceedings. But then know this: As soon as it’s all legal, and I’m fucking the young tennis pro at the club, I’ll make it my singular mission to take your life apart. Oh and it’s a house of cards darling. I’ll pull them out one, by one." (Folie-lex)
1. Michael: "Save it. We're sick of being pissed at you for being so obnoxiously yourself."
2. Isobel: "I feel like we should learn more before we open that door." (Prpleight)
3. Gregory: “I should’ve defended you from him a long time ago.”
4. Jenna: “Like, I just think that women should tell other women when they’re beautiful, you know?”5. Isobel: “There, now can we all cowboy up and focus, please?” (Jamie Coudeville)
6. Maria: “I know. I don’t doubt your capacity for love, ‘cause you made me so happy... this year. And I loved being someone that made you happy. I just think that we should leave it be, before I wonder if someone else could make you happier.”
7. Tripp: “It was as if we were built from the same star... drawn together by something cosmic.” (Alison D)
1. Audrey: "You need to care about the lives of Third, because seven days a week, three shifts a day we keep the bearings greased and the cold at bay. We draw straws to have children and we die from preventable accidents and diseases you get treatment for. I haven’t come to this place easily. When we left Chicago we needed Mr. Wilford’s iron order to survive. But almost 19 revolutions later, seven years, I know all of you, and I know we need to save our souls." (Folie-lex)
1. Courtney: "I don’t even know you." Beth: "Um... Well... A, we eat lunch together every day. And B, last night at the hospital I heard you call Yolanda by her real name." Chuck: "That is a common rookie superhero mistake."
2. Beth: "So this is a party... Parties are loud!"
3. Rick: "Do you know what it’s like to be so filled up with anger that you feel like you’re poisoning yourself? Do you? I want to hit something, anything, all of the time. Every second. You think I like that. I hate feeling this way." (Folie-lex)
