Welcome back to the Monthly Binge, where I review 3-5 shows I’ve been binging. This month, the theme seems to be murder. Funny that I didn’t notice it before. Maybe I should be worried about how the stay at home order is affecting me. Here’s hoping your TV binging this month was a bit more uplifting. If you would like your binge review to be featured next month, fill out the form at the end. A very special thanks to Milo, BlueStar, Ivan, and Luana for being our guest reviewers this month! Just a reminder - there will be spoilers here and in the comments. Read at your own risk.
My April Binges:
Episodes: 4.10 - 5.03
Type: New to me
Rating: 4-
Summary: Things heat up in New Seattle as zombie vs human tensions escalate to the cusp of all-out war.
Best Reason to Watch: The comedy and action.
Best Character: Ravi, who has taken over Liv’s role as resident comic zombie of the week
Best Episode: And He Shall Be a Good Man (4.13) - iZombie finales are always overpacked, thrill rides and this one was no different. There were a lot of touching moments too, capped off by Liv saving herself. Plus, it got rid of one of the most annoying characters, so that’s a win. Bye bye, Papa Crazy.
Worst Episode: Insane in the Germ Brain (4.11) - It isn’t so much bad as utterly forgettable. In fact, I hardly remember anything until the last few minutes, which were high stakes and pretty great. Too bad the rest of the hour wasn’t at that level.
Awards:
Most Fun - Episode 5.03 - The montage of Ravi learning to dance was the best non-dialogue scene in a long time.
Saddest and Most Touching Moment - Isobel dies
Best Meta - Zombie High marathon
Best Zombie Persona - Ravi as the social media princess
Best Awww Moment - Liv gives Dale the brain cure as a wedding present so Clive can have kids
Most Loyal - Don E to Blaine, though I’m not sure why
Best Action - Liv takes out Graves to save her own life
Best Quotes -
1. Blaine to Don E: “Are you dumb for doing this or am I dumb for watching?” (Reality Trash TV at its core.)
2. Blaine: “Correct me if I’m wrong, Doc, but usually when a man’s shirt is that open, someone’s coming at his chest with crash pads.” Ravi, exuding sass: “I don’t engage in hate speech so I have no response for you.”
3. Payton: “If they go through with this, they’re gonna pay, Liv. I will make it my mission.” Liv: “Then they should be very afraid. We always said we were gonna make big names for ourselves. I guess we should have been more specific.”
4. Isobel: “Liv, Ravi, try not to be sad. Nobody’s been luckier than me. I got to meet the two of you and what did they say on Zombie High when Cornelia died?” Isobel, Liv, and Ravi together: “I’m just meat with a spark and then I’m not.” Isobel, fist on her heart: “Hits you right here, doesn’t it? I love you guys and I always will.” (Isobel blows a kiss as the screen fades to black.)
5. 50’s Brain Liv to 50’s Brain Major: “Fix my drinks. Do my dishes. Rescue me. Try taking care of yourself for once, darling.”
6. Clive, as part of his wedding vows: “I want to be your husband more than some entitled Minecraft-playing brat’s dad.”
Overview:
I always liked iZombie but in the fourth season I started getting frustrated and never picked it back up. Since the stay at home order is a good time to clear off the DVR, I decided to get back to Liv and crew. I think this extended hiatus was just what I needed because I was able to focus on the show’s charms. In particular, I forget just how much campy fun it is. Ravi in particular is really, really funny here. I’m glad that even if they are making Liv more serious, the show itself still makes me giggle. Speaking of Liv, I do like how much she has grown over the years as a character. Rose McIver as an actor as well. I especially appreciated this in 4.12, where Major kidnaps Liv. The dialogue cracked me up, not so much for the words themselves but how both actors delivered them.
For the most part, I think season 4 ended well, trimming off some excess characters that needed to go. The Chase Graves character didn’t have any more story to tell, even though I am a fan of the actor. Angus “Papa Crazy” McDonough should have been left in the well, and as long as Liv and Major don’t end up together in the finale, Levon’s death is just another tragic result of Liv dating anyone. Seriously, her dating app should come with a warning. Only Isobel’s death moved me. I am a little worried about Ms. Big Bad in season 5 though. She has already overstayed her welcome, but I have to give her kudos for being smarter than the average villain. The Baby Mama drama and too blunt PSA-ing also need to go. Other than that, I’m happy to be back in New Seattle, amidst more brain puns than anyone should hear outside Halloween.
Episodes: TV movies #1-6
Type: Under the radar
Rating: 3 = This is an easy series to watch while you’re doing something else. The mysteries are decent and the characters, when not making boneheaded decisions, are enjoyable. I will likely borrow the other two collections from the library as a cure for summer hiatus blues. However, I’ll be spacing out these next time because by the time the sixth episode was over, I really wanted to Gibbs’ slap a couple characters for lack of common sense.
Summary: A librarian and host of the local true crime group helps the police solve murders in her small town. Think Jessica Fletcher but younger.
Best Reason to Watch: The mysteries
Best Character: This varies a lot depending on which episode it is. There is no character that I can’t stand, even Lillian the uptight librarian or Lynn, the police detective married to Roe’s ex. The character I am most sympathetic to is John though. He does not have it easy.
Best Episode: Real Murders, #2 - This episode highlights my favorite thing about the show - the true crime murder club. It’s also the best mystery of the first 6. I love how it took obscure cases that only the murder club would know about and then incorporated them into the current cases. It also had a good red herring running through it. All in all, this was the most satisfying episode.
Worst Episode: A Bundle of Trouble, #6 - While the murder plotline was interesting, I spent most of the episode frustrated. First off, why does Martin think that Roe should be the one taking care of his niece’s baby all the time? She knows no more than he does. It was blatantly sexist. Ugh! Then Roe just ditches the baby with her mom, who then ditches him with Lillian. I realize the idea was to see another side of Roe, but come on. Child Services should have taken that baby right from the beginning. No way they didn’t check out Martin or Roe to see that his basic needs were being met. Ugh, again! That child deserves much better. It also makes me think much less of both Roe and Martin.
Awards:
Best Surprise - Arthur gets promoted to Police Chief...for one episode. Nice while it lasted.
Best Sleuthing but Worst Plan - selling a house with dead bodies in it
Biggest Eyeroll - sometimes Roe is just plain dumb in her pursuit of a mystery. For instance, she leaves two people, who have been shot and are going into shock, to go to the murderer’s house instead of getting her phone to call for an ambulance. I’m all for spunky and brave women, but dumb is just dumb. There could have been 2 more dead bodies, one of which she was dating, in the time it took her to get herself kidnapped.
Best Perk - they intersperse true crime details into the show through the true crime murder club
Biggest Laugh - Lillian gets knocked out and her entire personality is different towards Roe
Best Cold Open - the pilot where Roe is preparing for her presentation to the murder club
Best Hard to Love Character - Lynn
Best Quotes:
1. Aurora, to the baby: “Did you come with an instruction book ‘cause I am very good with books?”
2. Ro: “I researched you. I know that you were in Army Intelligence and then the CIA and I also know that you were kicked out of the CIA for refusing to follow orders.” Martin: “Orders that were immoral. Just how did you learn all that?” Ro: “I’m a librarian. I have a Master’s Degree in finding information.”
3. John: “You’re an interesting woman, Aida. You agree to come out to dinner with me, and at the same time you want to give me the silent treatment.” Aida: “It’s called rejecting the sin, not the sinner.” John: “Is it really such a sin to help Aurora look into an unsolved mystery?” Aida: “Oh, but Aurora doesn’t just look into a mystery. She hunts it down, grabs it by the throat, and then shakes it into submission.”
4. Lynn, as her husband wakes up after being shot: “Arthur?” Arthur: “I think so. It’s a little unclear.” Lynn: “I thought I lost you.” Arthur: “I’m not a quitter.” Lynn: “No, no, you’re not.”
5. Aida: “You can’t just pass a baby around like a hot potato. You need to set up a schedule, give him a routine.”
Overview:
In many ways, Aurora Teagarden mysteries reminds me of the Christmas movies on Hallmark’s better known channel. The main character is a (usually) smart, determined woman who has a penchant for finding trouble. She’s even played by Hallmark tentpole, Candace Cameron Bure. Roe is nice to all, even her cranky co-worker and every episode, she’s paired up with an equally likeable and sympathetic male co-star. She is easy to like but also frustrating, because while she is super smart and logical, she often has no common sense. In other words, Aurora Teagarden Mysteries is best for the short binge of a couple of moves or so and then take a break.
The real fun lies in the smaller parts. Roe’s mom is equally as stubborn as Roe but more conscientious of her own and her daughter’s safety, providing a good counterbalance. The main staples of the true crime murder club also add emotion, heart, and most importantly, a touch of common sense to the show. Well, except John. He takes just as many risks as Roe does but it’s a blast watching him try to temper that curiosity for Roe’s mom, who thinks they are all nuts. This show is a pleasant way to pass time, especially if you like crime procedurals or general Hallmark fare. You’ll probably see the end coming a long way away and some of the mysteries wrap up too quickly, especially the pilot, but they do add some twists that should surprise along the way. All in all, it’s a light-hearted way to pass the stay home blues.
Episodes: 1.01 - 1.06
Type: rewatch
Rating: 2
Summary: A retired Vietnam Marine becomes a PI in Hawaii with the help of his wartime buddies.
Best Reason to Watch: Flashbacks to Vietnam, because they flesh out the characters and help establish an instant bond between the characters
Best Character: Magnum, usually
Best Episode: Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too (1.04) - This episode did something that rarely happens in crime procedurals - it surprised me. I had no idea that the girls were trying to restore a painting, and that wasn’t the only surprise. I tend to like shows where crotchety people soften for a child and it was great seeing Magnum and even Higgins step outside their comfort zone to help them. Although some things were definitely dated, overall this mystery engrossed me the most.
Worst Episode: China Doll (1.03) - A lot of this episode’s action reminded me of a B grade kung fu movie, but mostly it was just boring.The episode had an interesting premise but it fell flat for me.
Awards:
Most Odd - having a square picture on a rectangular TV. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen black bars on the sides of the screen.
Biggest Hmm - a 4 year old and a 9 year old flying by themselves, that’s more than 70’s negligence
Most Fun - seeing Tom Selleck in this and going directly to Tom Selleck in Blue Bloods
Worst Blast from the Past - the rampant sexism
Best Surprise - as a kid, I didn’t get all the references to dealing with PSTD that are in the original
Biggest Surprise - I forgot the original Hawaii 5-0 and the original Magnum PI were linked
Biggest Non-Shocker - La Bulle was Magnum’s old compadre
Most Overused - the voiceover
The “Well, Hello There” Award - Judge Reinhold, Robert Loggia, Ian McShane
Best Quotes -
1. Magnum: “Higgins, we really do need that fake Gaugin. This is an emergency. Somebody has kidnapped the girls.” Higgins: “He has my wholehearted sympathy.”
2. Mandie: “You must be the private eye that Robin told us about.” Magnum: “Well, I prefer to be called a private investigator.” Higgins: “You prefer to be called, period.”
3. Higgins: “Don’t ruin my whiskey with ice. I’m not a bloody American.”
4. Rick: “What is this? What are you doing?” Magnum: “I’m writing my marker.” Rick: “A marker? What is this? Guys and Dolls? Have you ever heard of cash?”
5. Higgins: “I don’t know what to say.” Magnum: “Say you owe me one.” Higgins: “I’d really rather not.”
Overview:
Note: Originally I was going to review the early Catherine episodes on Hawaii 5-0 to celebrate her return in the series finale, but I ran into an accessing snafu. So, when I saw that episodes of the original Magnum were going to air, I was curious. It’s no secret that I have major issues these days with the current Magnum series so I thought it would be fun to compare. Warning - some very unpopular opinions to follow.
While this is technically a rewatch, the first time I saw it I was in elementary school. Let’s just say I forgot a lot. For the most part, a lot of the fundamentals are the same but updated. Magnum in both falls under the lovable scamp category. I didn’t remember Magnum being the freeloading cheapskate who always stiffs his friends with the bill, but he does in both. Original Magnum is a bit more grumpy but they both will do whatever it takes to help their friends and their clients. Original Magnum is also more of a player and it is the Daisy Duke-level of blatant sexism that separates the eras most, even more than the technology and visual effects. No lie, some of it was hard to take, like when Magnum gets binoculars to watch some women frolicking on the beach. In the original it’s played in a wink-wink fashion. Viewing it now is just creepy. To be fair though, both sexes get equal eye candy time. (Short shorts squick me out.) In both versions, one of the best parts is how they play up the military bond between Magnum, TC, and Rick. As a kid, I didn’t realize that Original Magnum suffered from PTSD but they handled it surprisingly well since it was not a topic often talked about in the early 80’s. Current Rick is a vast improvement over Original Rick though, given that Original Rick comes off like a shady mob boss. TC is lovable in both.
The biggest change though is that Higgins, of course, is now female. I was absolutely fine with this in the beginning. After all, making Watson female on Elementary was an awesome switch that added greatly to the show. In fact, I tend to favor strong, kick butt female characters. Unfortunately, I found myself preferring the 80’s Higgins here because he doesn’t come with all the standard, cliched romantic tropes that are sinking the current show, in my opinion. Don’t get me wrong. I like current Higgins and I like current Magnum...just not when they are in scenes together. In fact, Current Higgins’ relationship with Kumu is exactly what the original is missing - two strong females who complement each other instead of competing. The all-boys club vibe can get a little overwhelming in the original. Actually, come to think of it, a female Magnum would have been a very interesting twist. In the end, while I enjoyed this trip down memory lane, I doubt I continue with the original Magnum since these are the only episodes I DVRed. In fairness, I’ll probably drop the current Magnum as well.
Episodes: 1.06 - 1.10
Type: continuation
Rating: 5-
Summary: Married Russian spies Philip and Elizabeth continue to try to win the Cold War, one impossible mission or asset screw at a time, while watching their arranged marriage go even more awkwardly south
Best Reason to Watch: Still the acting. I can’t say enough about the acting from everyone but especially the leads.
Best Character: Let’s face it. Everyone in this show sucks sometimes. Everyone is frustrating. If this was best acting, that would be Keri Russell, hands down. This is harder. Nina, Philip...you choose.
Best Episode: Trust Me (1.06) - This episode was the most brutal and the least surprising, and yet, it had my heart racing the most. I knew it was the KGB from the moment Philip was captured but the intensity of the episode didn’t let up for the whole first half. Then when Elizabeth goes all roid monster on Claudia for the setup - wow! I was shocked and thoroughly convinced Elizabeth would kill her. Intense does not describe it. The argument between Philip and Elizabeth after was another strong point.
Worst Episode: Mutually Assured Destruction (1.08) - This is the worst episode so far. It was boring throughout and had more pointless sex scenes in one episode than many of my shows do in a season. If I weren’t reviewing it, I would have fast forwarded. I should have fast forwarded. This episode also annoyed me with the backsliding of the relationship between Elizabeth and Philip. I don’t think I’ve ever played “will they/won’t they” with a married couple before. It isn’t any less irritating.
Awards:
Best Character Interaction - Elizabeth and Claudia, from the brutal beatdown in this opening episode to the chilling threat in the last, they are magnetic.
Best Reaction/Most 80’s - Stan’s reaction when his son tries to explain The Rocky Horror Picture Show to him
Best PSA - Never, ever hitchhike. Ever.
Best Acting - Keri Russell when she breaks down after Patterson calls her out
Best Plan - crashing the car to cover up the torture
Worst Plan - changing your mind halfway through a kidnapping
Biggest Bombshell - Philip has another son in Moscow? Maybe? Say what?
Biggest Surprise - Philip did NOT shoot Gregory
Least Surprising - it was the KGB who kidnapped and tortured Philip
Most Psychotic Speech - Stan’s bird and dog speech. I watch Criminal Minds and that was still the creepiest speech I’ve ever heard.
Most Boring Speech - Elizabeth’s villain monologue to Patterson
Best Speech - Sandra’s drunken verbal rampage about how lousy a husband Stan is
The Oprah Award - And you get a speech, and you get a speech, and...I’m surprised the mailman didn’t get a speech. The acting speaks for itself. Trust it.
Best Quotes:
1. Zhukov: “We all die alone, Elizabeth. Before that, we make choices.”
2. Claudia: “You think I owe you an apology.” Elizabeth: “I think you owe me more than an apology.” Claudia: “We had to find the mole. You know the drill. I was following orders, dear, same as you. Nevertheless, I’m sorry.” Elizabeth: “I’m sorry I didn’t kill you. That’s my apology.” Claudia: “Better luck next time.”
3. Paige: “I don’t care what we eat and I don’t want to pretend that your life is a do-over because mine isn’t.”
4. Philip: “You want to talk about it?” Elizabeth: “Talk about what? The fact that our own people tortured us because they don’t trust us or that we don’t trust each other?”
5. Patterson: “That is my title, but do you know who I am? I’m a bureaucrat. I decide nothing. I do nothing.” Elizabeth: “You give orders.” Patterson: “I give orders that are given to me. I implement the will of others, but you - your life is a lie. You kill. That’s who you are. That’s what you know. That’s what you do.” Elizabeth: “You should stop.” Patterson, talking over Elizabeth who is losing it: “You grind people into dust. You have no heart, no soul, no conscience. Your hands are covered in blood. Do you care about anything? Do you love anyone?”
Overview: You have to hand it to a show when the characters are making dumb mistakes and becoming flat out unlikeable and yet they are still mesmerizing. It’s like a car crash - you know the impact is going to be brutal but you just can’t look away. That’s how I felt during half of these episodes. The two bookend episodes this time, 1.06 and 1.11, were by far the best. They had more action and better pacing. The middle slowed down a bit and didn’t seem to have as much urgency, maybe because I never connected with Stalker FBI. Let’s face it. If you’re going to use your office in the FBI to shakedown your ex’s new lover, you are hardly on sympathetic ground. Good riddance. The morality of what to do with Gregory was a high point but sad sack motel room beers, constant speechifying, and endless rounds of let’s screw a spy did throw off the pacing. So why did it get such a high rating from me? Because like Battlestar Galactica before it, even when my frustration starts to mount, I still want to know what happens next. In fact, when I finish posting here, I’m going to watch another episode. Will the Jennings get caught? Will they ever stop going off in snits and talk to each other about their horrible timing? Will Stan stop being so reactionary and talk to a therapist like he obviously needs? Will both sides realize that they are both the pot and the kettle? Yeah, I’ve been sucked in.
Like before, the strength of this show lies in the acting and the character interactions. Each of the characters are layered well and, whether you agree or not, you always know why they do what they do - even when they surprise you. Their slow simmering fury combined with icy calm voices give me chills. It’s like Mr. Rogers, if he was secretly killing his neighbors. In the end, I liked these episodes less as a whole than the first set, but I find myself more addicted to the show than ever. Even while I’m shaking my head at their choices, I find myself caring about what happens to them. Just maybe a little less talk and a lot more action, next time.
Dahne Recommends:
Reader Reviews:
Show: Life On Mars
Episodes: 1.01 - 2.08
Best Reason to Watch: The characters, the mystery - and the 1970s setting!!
Best Character: Gene Hunt
Best Episode: Picking a Life on Mars episode to stand as its best is hard - it's an incredibly consistent show. But that honour would have to go to its final hour that’s as good as they come. Episode 16 (2.08) brings everything to a close in a heated and memorable fashion. We get to see answers, we get a proper conclusion - and we get an appropriately ambiguous send-off to Sam Tyler's journey that echoes the feel of an urban western. It also sets up the sequel, Ashes to Ashes - very nicely indeed.
Worst Episode: 1.06, Episode 6. Hostage situation episodes featuring main characters midway through a season are never fun as you always know the outcome, which robs the episode of some of its predictability, but there are still plenty of clues to the over-arching story that make this episode enjoyable, and hey, even below-par Life on Mars is still better than most shows on television.
Overview: John Simm described Life on Mars (named after the Bowie song) as "Back to the Future meets The Sweeney". A cop named Sam Tyler is sent back in time to the 1970s after getting involved in a car accident. Having to get used to the difficulties and the lack of technology that come with the era - he must not only get used to his new colleague, old-fashioned cop Gene Hunt, but work out a way back to his own timeline and why he’s there in the first place. With tribute paid to the police dramas of the era, Life on Mars acts as a good mystery whilst also informing audiences about the culture of the 70s in the UK and what it was like, also being as entertaining as hell thanks in no small part due to the characters. Gene Hunt is the *best* detective to grace British TV and it isn't even a competition - Phillip Glenister is iconic and the clash of worldviews between Hunt's 70s attitude and that of Simm's Tyler couldn't be clearer. Only two seasons long with a proper ending (and an even better sequel series, Ashes to Ashes!) - it's an easy binge.
Show: The Originals
Episodes: 1.01 - 1.22
Best Reason to Watch: The action never ceases on this show, with the mobster-like waring between the supernatural factions and the very complicated sibling interactions the Originals have.
Best Character: Elijah was my favorite through the series overall. It's difficult because there's no character on this show that at one point or another didn't do something I highly disagreed with. It was the nature of the show. But I loved his loyalty to his family and how he tried to do the best for them and those in their inner circle, even if it meant going against their wishes to do it.
Best Episode: From a Cradle to a Grave (1.22) was my favorite season 1 episode. The ultimate showdowns, the Original family working together to save their own, and the heartfelt narrations - the season 1 finale brought together everything I love most about the show. It also highlighted Klaus at his best - fighting for his family, his child, instead of his broken ego. Episodes like this were how I was able to come to love his character, after despising him for most of his run on The Vampire Diaries.
Worst Episode: Dance Back from the Grave (1.12) is my pick, I guess. It's hard to pick one episode since they all blend together thanks to the pacing of the show. Everything's interlocked. But the Papa Tunde plot annoyed me more than anything else and that episode was heavy with it.
Overview: When The Vampire Diaries (TVD) aired the speculative pilot for this show during its Season 4 run (episode 4.20 - The Originals), I wasn't expecting to keep watching. I was not a fan of The Original family on TVD, especially Klaus, who wasn't redeemed in the slightest in my eyes just because he cared for Caroline. They all had overstayed their welcome in my eyes, and I was downright excited for the Originals to get off the show. But that pilot episode changed everything. I was drawn in by wanting to see what would happen to all the characters and if the Original family could change for the better, with a new family member (Hope) on the way. The strong family ties are at the core of this show and the best aspect. The consistent action and charm of the New Orleans setting (even though it wasn't actually filmed there) were side benefits. As one of my favorite shows, I recommend watching The Originals (if it's in your genre type). You don't need to watch TVD to understand it, but I do recommend watching 4.20 of TVD to get a better understanding of what happens in the beginning.
Show: Moonlight
Episodes: 1.01 - 1.16
Best Reason to Watch: If you like having Alex O'Loughlin and Jason Dohring on the same screen, this is the show for you.
Best Character: Mick St. John. He was a very different vampire lead than other vampire shows, just with his age and that was a welcome change.
Best Episode: Episode 8, "12:04 AM". This episode shows Mick's choices coming back to haunt him and it also allows Beth to learn more about her own backstory, a great episode all around.
Worst Episode: Episode 5 "Arrested Development" . The episode's bad guy was very underwhelming. The episode wasn't horrible; the Mick and Beth aftermath is what made the episode tolerable.
Overview: This show definitely has similarities to "Angel", since a vampire decides to become a Private Investigator and has a past he regrets. But other than that, it's worth a binge. The bromance between Alex O'Loughlin and Jason Dohring's character alone is worth it. If you're a fan of bromances, then this show will grab you, the romance between Mick and Beth as well. One other thing is that the mythology of vampires is vastly different than any other vampire show.
Show: Dietland
Episodes: 1.01 - 1.10
Best Reason to Watch: The amazing writing, it's funny and smart, crazy in all the good ways.
Best Character: Alicia (Plum) for sure, but Leeta and Kitty are also standouts.
Best Episode: Y Not (1.03). Watching Plum go off of her antidepressants was as heartbreaking as it was fun (somehow).
Worst Episode: Monster High (1.07). And it's not bad, just the one with fewer highlights.
Overview: This show is not for everyone; if you're against feminism and body positivity you should definitely steer clear. There's a lot of content out there that can be well meaning and miss the mark, which is why it took me so long to watch it, but once I started, I couldn't stop. These are strange times but it's been a while since I watched a whole season pretty much without pause. This show is funny, incisive, and thrilling. It will leave you reeling, and though there's just one season, and having more would've been great, it has an ending I can live with and it's absolutely still worth watching.
Your Turn:
If you would like to share your thoughts on what you’re binging, comment below or fill out this form. I will randomly choose 2-4 to share in next month’s column. Just please make sure that you have watched 5 or more episodes and that it is not the current season of a show covered by SpoilerTV.
