Not Just Cards Ah, the good ol’ fake out routine. It gets me every dang time. I thought for sure this time I knew what was happening - Rio was at Beth’s door, ready to reveal himself alive to her, after she thought she killed him! Nope. He’s on Rhea’s doorstep, and Beth’s mother-in-law is here. Great! This won’t be bad at all!
Cut to: Beth and Judith (Jessica Walter - Arrested Development) sparring with each other over the dinner table about whether or not the kids need to clean the plates to be excused and still have dessert. That really doesn’t end well. They bicker, Dean pretty much ignores them, the kids are in shock. Eventually, Beth wins, taking the kids to get dessert now, before any of them have really even eaten, and honestly, good for her. There’s a lot of real-life situations we’re shown on TV, but we’re not often shown how much men don’t stand up for their wives when it comes to their mothers. This was fantastic because Dean did nothing, which is exactly what happens in real life too! Ugh. Beautiful.
First, we’ve got dinner with Annie, Nancy (Sally Pressman - Army Wives), Greg (Zach Gilford - Friday Night Lights), and Ben. Any dinner with these four is going to be awkward, but it goes from Nancy calling Ben his deadname, to her and Greg thanking Annie for her “help” in couples therapy. The way Annie is staring at Greg is incredible because clearly he knew bringing this up would upset her, and, shocker, he did almost nothing to prevent it. Uh, check please!
Because of this, we get an almost perfect scene of Annie storming into Dr. Cohen’s office, yelling at him about how she’s not a broken person and how she didn’t force Greg to cheat on Nancy. Except, oh, this is Josh Cohen (Rob Heaps - Imposters), the children’s therapist, and definitely not his brother, who Greg and Nancy are seeing. Uh, whoops? Sparks! Sparks! Sparks! I can’t wait to see more on that!
We go through the motions of the girls needing a new supplier but they want someone new, someone who doesn’t know them or care about them. Ah, perfect, let’s pick a man who, according to Dean, has a rap sheet like a CVS receipt, and now knows the entire layout of your house. That’s not a bad idea at all.
Can we please all agree that one of the best parts of this episode was Annie “pouring one out” at the warehouse for Agent Turner? Classic Annie. Can we also all agree that Agent Turner is definitely not dead, and if he is, wow they went right over that. Yikes.
Most of this episode is filler as they’re obviously setting up for the new season, but man if I didn’t lose my absolute mind when Beth was sitting in the bar waiting for Rhea and we suddenly hear Rio say “she’s not coming.” Full chills. I’m screaming. My roommate’s screaming. Our cats are freaking out. And Rio is back.
Egg Roll
We pick up right where we left off here, with Rio and Beth in the bar. He shows her the bullets the surgeons pulled out of him, orders some drinks, and toasts to her aim. Or, you know, lack thereof. She’s terrified, and man, Christina Hendricks can act, as he’s telling her about how nothing else can be done but killing her, and what does Beth do? Blurts out that she’s pregnant! Yeah! That’ll totally work! Beth. Sweet Beth. Darling Beth. How can you be so smart and so dumb at the same time?
Remember last week, when I said I was sick of Dean and Beth together because they obviously don’t love each other? Well, guys, this episode delivered almost the exact opposite of my wish for divorce. Boo. Throughout the episode, Beth is clearly trying to get pregnant, and eventually, it blows up with Dean, because duh. Beth left her negative pregnancy tests in the trash barrel in their bathroom. Beth. I know I just said this. But how can you be so smart and so dumb at the same time?! The bathroom trash? Amateur move!
I know logically why the show will probably never have them get a divorce, but my god, that fight was painful. If we have to watch that all season I don’t know what I’ll do. There’s so much they’re not telling each other. Beth about all the money, and Dean about, what was that? Another woman who for some reason wants to hook up with him? Yup. Ugh. Then Dean says my favorite line I’ve ever heard him say: “am I just a sperm bank?” Uh, yeah, kinda. I’m so bored with his character, y’all. I sometimes wish he would’ve just died when he got shot, but then Beth would be sad and the kids would be sad and blah blah blah. Onwards!
Annie once again barges into Josh’s office, and I don’t know any therapists, but if any of them are reading this, can you let me know if this ever happens to you? Do patients just barge into your office without knocking and then expect to be talked to? Let me know. I’m guessing not, but who knows. Anyway, Josh talks to her, and she has *choir music* a breakthrough! She’s finally realized that all Beth has ever tried to do is protect her. Aww.
Ruby and Stan have been so sweet already this season as well. His idea of having them put money into a jar instead of using a safe-word, egg roll, to talk about their different journey’s at work, was proactive and will teach their son to use it as well. I love them!
Here comes my favorite part of the episode: Beth returns home after getting some groceries to find Rio parked in front of her house. He asks if she wants to go for a ride, and she says no, and then he says “get in the car, Elizabeth.” Just wondering, is it hot in here to anyone else? No? Just me? Got it. They show up at an OB/GYN’s office and somehow the doctor knows to say she’s pregnant. Ah, yes, Rhea!
Rhea still worries me. Even though we could tell she was angry, and she knows something, in reality, we have absolutely no idea what she knows. Does she think they just slept together? Does she know Beth shot Rio? Does she know what he does? So many questions!
While I understand the pacing of the first few episodes being slow, as they’re setting up for the new season, I’m hoping it picks up, and soon. We’ve got mostly everyone where we want them, now it’s time for the games to begin.
What did you think of the two episodes? How long do we have before Beth is caught? How long do we have before Annie sleeps with her therapist? And how long do we have before Stan has something seriously damaging happen to him at work? Let me know what you thought!
