A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
Hawaii 5-0 -
1. Tani: "That was nice." Junior: "Yeah, yeah it was. I can’t say I uh thought it was it was going to be in a car." Tani: "You’re the one who told me to pull over." (Junior and Tani sure made up for lost time! Finally. - Beth Whitley)
1. "Bryan: I've got it! You're practicing for the LSAT!" Kay: "No you dummies! She's having a boy over. [with utmost glee] And she LIED to us about it!" Mike [ecstatic and with equal amounts of glee]: "This is terrible! I'm shocked and horrified, just like a real dad!"
2. Kay: "I fell hard for him. Then he cheated on me, Destroyed my confidence. Took years to get it back... Went through a bunch of Dylans and Damons and Darylls. Just an endless parade of D's." Mike: "I know how this hurts me. Can you please explain how it helps our daughter?"
3. Kay: "But she's actually listening to me for once. We're like, bonding! Imagine Bryan comes to you and wants to toss the old pigskin around. What are you gonna do?" Mike: "I'd assume there was pig carcass lying somewhere in our house." (Folie-lex)
1. Ralph Anderson: "Okay, so, for you, um any kind of, um, negative behavior, uh, is due to either bad parenting, bad genes, uh, bad brain chemistry, right? There's no such thing, for you, as evil in the world without some rational explanation." Herbert Zucker: "If I wanted to be a voodoo doctor, I'd have gone to voodoo med school."
2. Jack Hoskins: "You know, even when I was a kid, I didn't believe in anything. Not God. Not the devil. Santa Claus. Superman. Boogeyman. None of it. But now, I believe. I very much fucking believe there's something else out there that's worse than I ever imagined." Holly Gibney: "You're right to believe."
3. Jack Hoskins: "Why did it pick me?" Holly Gibney: "This thing. It's drawn to pain." Jack Hoskins: "Mm." Holly Gibney: "Pain is its wine. That's why you. You've been wronged all your life." Jack Hoskins: "How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But the lightbulb really has to wanna change." (DarkUFO)
1. Cheyanne: "You can't just fit a whole 15 minute break into just 15 minutes!"
2. Sandra: "Can I help? I'm never on a happy end of a prank."
3. Amy: "Dina, I am sorry. But you were texting me so much I couldn't even do my work." Dina: "You could have just said 'Dina you are texting too much!'" Amy: "Well I didn't want to hurt your feelings. And the moment anyone tries to criticize you, you explode!" Dina: "Well at least people know where they stand with me, okay? I don't pretend to be somebody's friend and then secretly shut them out. It's called honesty." Amy: "Oh, is it honest Dina? Or is it just you treating people like garbage and calling it a virtue?" Dina: "Oh you're so pathetic! You're so worried about having everyone's approval. I don't care if people like me!" Amy: "Well good! Because nobody does! ... I'm sorry... I didn't mean that..." (This episode was too good all around, so I just opted for what I found to be the most LOL AND representative quotes from each main plot. - Folie-lex)
1. Missy: "Suck it up. You always get everything you want." Sheldon: "That's not true." Missy: "You got a computer. I'm reading a booger book."
2. Mary: "I'm mad at Georgie right now. It'd be good for us to have some space." George: "So you pick a fight with Georgie and I don't get to go to California?" Mary: "Fine, you can go." George: "Thank you." Mary: "Have fun managing Sheldon's bathroom schedule in different timezones."
3. MeeMaw: "I'll tell you what. After practice today you and me, we'll do something fun." Missy: "Can I have my first cigarette?" MeeMaw: "No!" Missy: "Can I get my ears pierced?" MeeMaw: "Your mom won't like that... so maybe."
4. Georgie: "You got married because you were pregnant?" Mary: "Yes." Georgie: "So I was a mistake?" Mary: "No! NO! You are a blessing! The mistake was lying to my parents so that I could spend the night at your dad's house... and, you know... tequila."
5. Sheldon: "The Captain and Mr.Spock don't hold hands." George: "Sorry." [as the plane begins take off] Sheldon: "Okay, maybe just this once." (Folie-lex)