A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. May: “Keep your head up. Come on, Vickie., you can. You’re gonna stay awake and you’re gonna stay alive.” Vickie: “I need to rest.” May: “I don’t give a damn. I’m sure there are people who love you, who expect you to make it home to them. Okay, no offense, but I never want to have to meet them and tell them how you died in my arms. I’m 17-years-old. You’re not gonna traumatize me like that, got it? Nobody in this car’s dying, not today.” Vickie: “You’re one tough cookie, you know that?”
2. Buck: “You amaze me, buddy.” Chris: “Why?” Buck: “I got some bad news at work the other day and I didn;t want to get out of bed for a whole week. But you, after the day you had, here you are with a big smile, busting a gut. You never gave up. Even when that water was rushing over you back there, you just kept on swimming.” Chris: “Like Dory?” Buck: “Like Dory, and not just today, you know, but everyday. You never say no; you never complain. How do you do it?” Chris: “Well I complained once but it didn’t work.” Buck: “So what did you do?” Chris: “Just kept on swimming.”
3. Athena: “People, people, there’s some real trouble down by the beach. Y’all waiting for help to come. It’s already here and it’s us. Check with your neighbor. See if anyone needs help. We’re all we got right now.”
1. Edie: “You know it is possible to know things without Googling them.”
2. Julia: “You’re not the only one whose life got pulled apart, so if you need to hang out or even stay for a bit…” Edie: “That would be...thank you.” Eoxy: “Yeah, I already called the guest room so you’re on the couch, Counselor.”
3. Roxy: “I’m kind of in a fight with my roommates...who are also my parents.”
1. Kemi: “Anyway, she has no time for fun. Let’s talk about marriage.”
Abishola: “I already have a husband.” Kemi: “Eh, you haven’t seen him in what, six, seven years?” Abishola: “Eight.” Kemi: “Well then technically he’s dead.”
2. Abishola: “Thank you for walking me back.” Bob: “Well, it is Detroit and it’s broad daylight so you can’t be too careful.”
3. Bob, about his brother: “I had so many chances to kill him as a child.”
1. Whitney: “You look like the cat who ate the canary...and then decided what he really wanted was fish.”
2. Bull: “God, I’m arrogant. I thought we could get them to see it was just a means to an end. The end was so worthwhile.” Benny: “Hmm. You two are the same person. You know that, don’t you? You set your sights on something that’s almost impossible and you don’t let anyone talk you out of it. It's one of the things I love about you, man.”
3. Chunk: “Were you ever 19?” Taylor: “Nope. Went straight from old enough to vote to bitter divorcee. Whatever it is, it’s gonna be fine.”
1. Eddie: “How come you never told me all of this?” Jessica: “Because there are some qualities you see in your kids that you know they got from you, and you are not proud.” Eddie: “So you’re ashamed I like to have fun?” Jessica: “No, it’s not that. It’s just that maybe if I had been more focused the first time around, I wouldn’t be back in school now trying to do it all over again. I don’t want you to have to do that.” Eddie: “Really? Cause it seems to me that the way you did is way more interesting. You lived it up, had a family, multiple careers, still pushing yourself.” Jessica: “You’re right. I don’t regret it. I just don’t want to encourage you to behave the way I did. I know I’m a hypocrite.” Eddie: “No, cocky. You think you’re the only person who can handle anything?” Jessica: “Yes, because I am battle tested.” Eddie: “Not as much as me. You never handled what I went through...you.”
2. Eddie: “This sucks. All of my friends are going on cool vacations, and I'm stuck studying.” Jessica: “Sounds like you’re taking a ton of trips on the Complain Train.”
3. Emery: “I thought being rich and not caring about anything would be amazing.” Jenny: “Garfield makes it look so easy.” Evan: “Garfield’s not rich. He’s cat rich. It’s different.”
1. Freemont: “Look, I made my decision. It’s too late.” Joy: “That’s not why you won’t talk to her. You won’t talk to her because you’re afraid that it isn’t too late. Most people don’t understand how frightening hope can be, but I do. You have a chance to reconnect with her. Don’t waste it.”
2. Miles: “I have been obsessed with delivering you the best season 2 that I forgot the most important lesson from season 1: helping people. Because when you do, when you put others before yourself, good things always happen. And most of the time, we learn something new about ourselves, about what we’re willing to give up to move forward. I’m not saying that this is an easy thing to do. Taking that next step never is, but sometimes looking into your past is the only way to discover your future. I don’t know where I’m supposed to go from here. All I know is that I’m ready to pass along everything that learned to Joy and as for what comes next for me, that’s what I got to figure out and when I do, you’ll be the first to know.”
3. Rakesh: “Look, she didn’t get another Friend suggestion until the two of you came together, right? So in my opinion, you need to be her Obi-Wan. Train her in the ways of the force, all right? You know, in this case it’s the God account. It’s simple Star Wars math.” Miles: “This is not Star Wars, Rakesh. This is my life. So I’m going to prove to the God account that Joy is the wrong choice, and when I do, everything’s gonna go back to the way it’s supposed to be.” Rakesh: “Mmm hmm. You’re going to Webster Park, aren’t you?” Miles: “Yes, I am.” Rakesh: “That’s not very Jedi of you.”
1. Elliot: "You told me once you don’t take down a conglomerate by shooting them in the heart. They don’t have hearts." (Jimmy)
2. Sam Esmail: "Goodbye friend." (Jimmy)
1. Sebastian: “All right. The machines win. I don’t care what happens in the movies.”
2. Patton: “Bruh, I haven’t figured out what this radar cloud is yet. I just know it’s not weather, ladybugs, or aliens, and frankly, I’m least sure about the last one.”
3. Gregorio: “Damn it. I have no signal.” Sebastian: “Well, that might be for the best. If anyone found out what’s happening here, we’d never live it down.”
1. Ginny: “You honked at someone?” Arthur: “Wow, news travels fast for a town whose speed limit is mosey.”
2. Arthur: “Fork Fest wasn’t half bad.” Cash: “Arthur helped me win this machete.” Arthur: “This is my...uh, my third Forkarita. My judgment may be a little impaired.”
3. Ginny about Fork Fest: “It’s always been the most wonderful time of the year.” Arthur: “Of course, because Christmas lacks that irresistible combination of fried food and animal husbandry.”
1. Jessica: “Nightmares aren’t real, Malcolm, and neither was she. End of story.” Malcolm: “As an investigator, end of story rarely means case solved.” Jessica: “And that’s your problem. You think life is a case to be solved. Sometimes it’s just a tragedy to be endured.”
2. Gil: “Kid, what do I need to know? How bad is it?” Malcolm: “You don’t have to worry about me. I can do the job. Actually, it’s the place I feel most normal. I need it.” Gil: “Yeah, that’s not a good thing. Nobody should need this.”
3. Jessica: “Again with the girl in the box. They never found her. She didn’t exist.” Malcolm: “Never found doesn’t mean never existed.” Jessica: “Malcolm! The guilt you wear like a millstone around your neck, it will crush you. Stop.”
1. Lainey: “We need to talk.” Mellor: “I’m not sure we do,” Lainey: “Rick, I know it’s hard to open yourself up, but it’s better than living your whole life closed off to love.” Mellor: “Who needs love when you’ve got SportsCenter and a Bowflex?”
2. Lainey: “Barry and I watched the whole episode together on the phone.” Mellor: “Bonkers, that’s still happening. All the choices along the course of your life, to end up back at Goldberg.”
3. Lainey: “All relationships are challenging but they’re worth it and you’re really missing out if you’re not willing to try.” Mellor: “Well how do you propose I try?” Lainey: “Just keep this open. It might not happen fast but be ready when it does, and don’t be afraid to show her who you really are.”
1. Ray: "You good?" Clay: "Why does everyone keep asking me that, man?" Ray: "Cause you got blown up, Clay. Just making sure you're squared away." Clay: "Leg's fine, man." Ray: "Not your leg people are worried about." (Prpleight)
2. Mandy: "How're the kids?" Jason: "Things are good at home, you know? Kids are great. They're excelling. Doing what they want to do, huh?" Mandy: "Do you get lonely, living on your own?" Jason: "It's not a home. It's a place where I lay my head, that's it. You know, sometimes, when it gets quiet I gotta put the microwave on just so I can hear the noise." (Prpleight)
3. Sonny: "Can I ask you a Blackburn question there? Why in the hell am I always on the team that has to hump it up the stairs?" (Prpleight)
1. Miggy: “Small talk is the busy work of conversation.”
2. Angie: “I am sorry I made you feel like you had to hate things just because I do. That’s unfair. People should experience the joy of getting to negativity on their own, and if they never get there, great.”
3. Poppy: “Look Miggy, this isn’t just about you following your dreams. I miss you. You were always there when I needed to talk.” Miggy: “I’ll still be there. I do live upstairs from you.” Poppy: “True. Okay, then you’re fired.” Miggy: “Thank you. I’ll never forget this.”
1. Dex: “Thanks for the ride.” Grey: “Sure. Pretty ballsy to call the guy you stood up for a ride home, but that’s cool.” Dex: “Just had to call someone I...um, trusted, you know?” Grey: “Well you’ve known me 24 hours so that checks out.”
2. Dex: “I kind of dig the color.” Grey: “Vomit is not a color.”
3. Dex: “You seem like a really nice guy and thus is...this is nice, you know? I like...but I can’t cross the line because if I do, I mess it up. I kill everything.” Grey: “Well, here’s a crazy idea. What if we just don’t cross the line again?” Dex: “Wel what does that make us then, huh? I mean…” Grey: “It makes us...friends.” Dex: “Friends? I guess we just dodged a bullet.”
1. Amy: "Carol will be out for a few days due to personal reasons." Garrett: "By personal reasons, do you mean she had a mental breakdown when she found out Sandra and Jerry got engaged?" Cheyenne: "Oh, do you think she's planning to "Gone Girl" Sandra?" Jonah: "I think she'd have to "Gone Girl" Jerry." Justine: "What's the one with the girl on the train?" Jonah:
"The Girl on the Train?" Justine: "Right! Maybe she's going to do that to Sandra." Garrett: "Put her on a train?" Marcus: "Oh, man! Could you imagine!" (Ellys)
1. Linkletter, after having Sheldon in his class: “No wonder Sturgis went crazy.”
2. George: “They don’t have kids. That’s why they’re happy.” Mary: “George.” George: “It’s true. You and I used to be way more fun.” Mary: “That may be so, but you can’t blame the children.” George: “Oh, I can and I am. Don’t get me wrong. They’re great; I love them, but you’ve got to admit that they do not make our lives easy.” Mary: “I suppose there’s a challenging aspect to them.” George: “There you go. Feels good to say it out loud, right?” Mary: “Maybe a little.”
3. Sheldon: “Just because something is older doesn’t mean that it’s not still good. Original Star Trek is older than Next Generation, but if you think that Mr. Data is better than Mr. Spock, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Professor: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
