American Housewife - Review - Lasagna: "Best Judgement. Do I Have That?"

Katie and her arch-nemisis Chloe Brown-Mueller are back at trying to make each other miserable this week - and it's hilarious!

Now that Katie's officially unemployed, she's been struggling to figure out where she belongs, even if she won't admit it. Even Anna-Kat doesn't want her help shopping for new clothing - in fact, she's the problem! (Katie keeps buying her clothes with fruit on them!) There's one thing Katie can fall back on though - her cooking skills (mainly her ability to make lasagna!) So when Greg asks her to help make food for a gathering of the Historical Guild, she's more than ready.

This Historical Guild gathering isn't just an ordinary meeting though. It's a welcome back party for Stan! After he left Chloe and ran off and married a girl half his age, he had a stroke on his honeymoon. His new trophy wife left him and Chloe (somewhat reluctantly it seems), took him back. Greg's thrilled to have his nerd buddy back, but Katie's not too happy to find out she's going to have to associate with Chloe again. At the welcome-back celebration, Katie and Chloe establish that they definitely still hate each other. "Hating you is the greatest joy of my life. Besides my kids. Actually, it goes Anna-Kat, Taylor, hating you, Oliver," Katie declares.

Speaking of Oliver, he seems to have run into another problem. He goes to drop his application off at Teen Helpline and meets some of the other kids applying. And they're all...well...way better people than him! In applying for Teen Helpline to pad his Harvard application, it looks like Oliver is going to have to go up against some kids who are actually doing it for the right reasons! So, Oliver comes up with a crafty solution to make him look more interesting to the Teen Helpline people. It just involves Katie doing him one small favor. "It would help with my interview if I came from a troubled home. Do you mind if I put you under a 72-hour psychiatric hold?" he asks. Unsurprisingly, Katie's not interested! It looks like Oliver is going to have to keep looking for ways to up his hiring potential! (Katie's not interested in admitting to being the Zodiac Killer either!)

At the mall, Taylor and Trip take Anna-Kat shopping for a new wardrobe. But, there's one more thing Anna-Kat wants to complete her new "cool girl image" - pierced ears! Taylor says there's no way Katie would go for that, but Anna-Kat reminds her that Katie did say she was in charge, and that this is her chance to "think on [her] own." So, Taylor says yes and both Anna-Kat and Trip get their years pierced! Trip goes first to prove to Anna-Kat it's not scary. Apparently, he owes her one because she recently stopped him from trying to pet an "angry dog." (It was really a coyote, but Trip still hasn't caught on to that!) Unfortunately, Taylor has second thoughts about her bold move when Anna-Kat comments how brave she is for letting her get her ears pierced despite all the hell Katie's probably going to lay down when she finds out. But, Anna-Kat's ears are already pierced, so Taylor comes up with a new plan. They're going to hide Anna-Kat's ears with a series of silly headbands and hats and Princess Leia hairdos...until Taylor goes away to college! Anna-Kat points out that "that could easily be never," but she goes on with it anyways.

Meanwhile, Katie continues to search for her new purpose. Angela and Doris advise she go see one of the other school parents, Susanne, who is a career counselor. Katie meets with Susanne, who asks her some questions about herself and plugs the answers into a computer algorithm that's supposed to spit out the perfect career for Katie. Its answer? Long-haul trucker! Apparently, Katie's answers indicate that she shouldn't "manage people...or be managed by people...or interact with the public in any way," and that Susanne should probably call the police!

At least Katie's still got her lasagna! Stan stops her while she's out eating with Angela and Doris, and asks if she has any leftover lasagna because he liked it so much. When Katie offers to bring it to his house, Stan says it's probably safest if he picks it up from her. "If there's two things [Chloe] hates more than me right now. It's you and carbs," he says. Stan starts regularly sneaking over for leftover lasagna, which Katie loves, as it "combines two of [her] favorite things - cooking and messing with Chloe behind her back." Plus, Stan can pick up a clean cup of urine from Greg when he comes over so he'll pass the pee test Chloe administers. Yep, Chloe gives him pee tests to check for sugar intake!

Stan's constant trips over to the Otto's have Chloe catching on that something's up, just not the right something. She thinks Stan's having an affair with Katie! So, she decides to seduce Greg. Chloe calls him over to her store under the pretense that Stan's been injured and goes to work breaking up a marriage. ("The store is closed. But I'm wide open!") Gag me with a spoon!

It doesn't take long for Chloe to figure out her plan is pointless - Greg is faithful. She tells him she's trying to get revenge because she thinks Katie and Stan are having an affair and Greg is forced to spill what's really been happening - that Stan's been sneaking over for lasagna. This definitely doesn't make Chloe any less angry and she storms over to the Otto house, where she finds Stan sitting at the kitchen table enjoying a meal. After berating him for taking food from her "sworn enemy," Chloe admits that she thought he was having another affair. Stan declares his undying love for her and begs to be allowed to eat more than 500 calories a day. Chloe agrees to bump him up to 800 and that's good enough for him!

Oliver continues to stress about Teen Helpline. He doesn't think he's faced enough adversity to stand out from the crowd. Katie assures he's got what it takes and decides to concoct a little plan involving Angela and Doris to make him stand out more. They're going to pretend to be his moms. Multiracial lesbian parents apparently do make him stand out and he gets in! Also, Doris is more than happy to finally get to plant one on Angela!

Taylor's plan to keep Anna-Kat's pierced ears a secret goes awry when Trip arrives to pick her up for a party sporting his new daisy earrings. He quickly accidentally spills that he got his ears pierced with Anna-Kat to show her it wasn't scary and Katie's furious at Taylor. Taylor tells Katie that she was using her best judgment, just like she said. Now Anna-Kat has something in common with the girls in her new class and she's gained more confidence. "Plus, I'm not afraid of needles anymore, so you don't have to strap me down at the doctor!" Anna-Kat boasts. And as much as it pains Katie to admit it, she realizes Taylor may have actually made a good decision, even if it wasn't the one she would have made.

Katie's surprised to find more of Greg's nerd buddies at the door asking for lasagna. Apparently, it was a real hit. She tells them she's all out and they offer to pay her to make more. Suddenly it dawns on Katie. Maybe her new career has been right in front of her all along. She starts toying with the idea of starting a business selling homemade meals.

Random Thoughts:
-Poor Maria. That woman really does have the boss from hell.

-Best lines go to Katie, when Oliver asks if he can take a DNA test in hopes of finding out he's secretly racially diverse ("I won't do genetic testing. I don't want the relatives I have now. Why would I go digging up more?"), and Chloe and Katie, when Katie serves lasagna to the Historical Guild. (Chloe: "Lasagna. Not surprised. It's the sweatpants of food." Katie: "And you, are the adult underpants of people.")

Do you think Katie's cooking business will take off? How will Oliver do now that he's gotten into Teen Helpline? Let me know below!