“How Two-Faced Can You Get” is an apt title for this week’s “Dynasty” as it’s an accusation that could be correctly leveled at several characters.
The episode begins exactly where the last one ended, with Fallon and Liam coming face-to-face. Kirby amusingly flees as the exes get into it. Liam, not without evidence, assumes she bought out his publisher as a way to screw with him while Fallon, truthfully, assures him that it’s “all just a horrible coincidence” and that – with the company’s new focus on female empowerment – she has no interest in producing or promoting his book. But circumstances change when Kirby puts Fallon on the scent of Gloria “Glo” Collins (winningly played by guest star Andrea Bordeaux of “NCIS: Los Angeles”), a popular podcaster whose feminist philosophies make her a choice choice to be Femperial’s first author. But to complete with the big dogs after Glo’s debut tome, they’ll have to match their $6 million offer, which is exactly the same amount of capital they need to pay the penalty clause in Liam’s contract.
Fallon tackles this two-pronged problem in typical Fallon fashion. First, she tries to sway Glo with a swanky cottage to write in, complete with a personal barista and an on-call masseuse. Then, scheming to get Liam to break his contract himself so she doesn’t have to cough up the buyout, she scales back his publicity tour and slashes his promotion budget. Neither plan is a success, as Glo flees back to her usual writing haunt while Liam sees right through Fallon’s shenanigans. Admirably, Fallon goes to see Glo and listens while she explains what she’s really about, apologizes for trying to woo her like a “middle-aged man," and asks for a second chance. And she nails it with a faux publicity event that gets to Glo’s message while still bringing the Fallon glitz, and it gets Glo to sign with Femperial.
And after heeding Liam’s repeated requests that she actually read his book, Fallon is touched when she discovers it’s a sweet ode to them (and sidebar – she hilariously “discusses” this revelation with Alexis, still mutely covered in bandages at this point. Oh we’re getting back to Alexis, believe you me!). She goes to see Liam (who we learn has broken up with the horrible Ashley) and it’s all flirty as they agree to work together. More than anything, this A-plot worked for me because it was nice – after several episodes in a row of her being shat on – to see Fallon rack up some wins.
Hanging like a dark cloud over this, however, is the dull flirtation between Kirby and Culhane (which, I realized this week, has mostly revolved around her doing work for him for free. Gross!). It’s only when they finally kiss do they remember that Fallon is a person they know, and that she likely won’t be psyched about her ex-fiancé hooking up with her gal pal slash employee. Citing the girl code, Kirby offers to talk to her, but after they have a really nice discussion about their childhood and how far they’ve come as friends, she loses her nerve. But the “combustible chemistry” between Kirby and Culhane cannot be denied and, idiotically, they start making out at a pre-season kickoff party for the Atlantix. I figured they’d be spotted by a scheming Adam, but awesomely, it’s Monica (looking gorgeous in a gold dress, p.s.) who takes a snap on her phone and sends it to Fallon. She’s furious, of course, but having turned her sights back to Liam, ultimately dismisses it, only asking that Kirby not lie to her going forward. Ugh. I just...every single relationship on this show – be it familial, friendly, romantic, even adversarial – is more interesting than Kirby and Culhane’s.
For example, Jeff’s feud with Blake and Adam. Having learned about the Carringtons swindling his land out from under him, Jeff announces that he’ll be taking an active, vocal role in the team going forward. Father and son assume Jeff is up to something, and they are not wrong. It seems PJ Reed – the player the team built their anti-drug campaign around – has fallen off the wagon, which Jeff knows thanks to Monica. So he sets up a drug screening by the league and records Adam, on Blake’s orders, switching Reed’s sample. Unfortunately for Jeff, his dreams of the league forcing the Carringtons out go up in smoke when Adam bribes the commissioner with an internship for his son. Jeff’s not giving up on taking Blake and his “new bitch” down, though, and he gains an ally in Culhane when he intriguingly reveals that Blake orchestrated the robbery at Culhane’s mom’s house. But ooh, there’s even more at stake for Jeff than he realizes as Adam – in another delicious ode to the original “Dynasty” – poisons the paint being used in Jeff’s new office.
In subplot news, Cristal is terrified of her father coming after her new family. She unburdens herself to Sam, whose advice is to tell Blake what’s going on. And she does! But when Blake poo-poos her concerns, she and Sam run a small con involving a bodyguard and sleeping pills so he’ll beef up security. Besides an adorable scene of Anders teaching Sam self-defense, this storyline mostly made me wonder if we’re heading towards a “Who Shot Blake?” scenario. He was extra blowhard-y and condescending in this episode and we’ve now got several parties – Jeff, Culhane, Papa Flores, even Adam – who might want to take a shot.
Last, but certainly not least, the episode ends with the reveal of Alexis’ new face. And that face? Is Elizabeth Gillies’, ELIZABETH GILLIES IS THE NEW ALEXIS! My first thought was that I couldn’t believe my crackpot theory from my last review was right! My mind then ran through all the insanely soapy possibilities – Gillies-as-Alexis swapping catty remarks and slaps with Fallon! Doppelganger shenanigans with Adam forcing Gillies-as-Alexis to impersonate Fallon! Gillies-as-Alexis in scenes with Cristal, with Blake! Gillies-as-Alexis getting her own slot in the opening credits! All that said, I do hope this stunt only lasts through the end of the season, then maybe another accident can befall Alexis that will allow the show to properly recast the role.
Who did you think was the most two-faced in “How Two-Faced Can You Get?” And what do you think of Alexis’ new face? Come share your thoughts on this week’s “Dynasty” in the comments section.
