"What better captures both the pathetic insignificance of humanity and our own tragic nobility than to fall in love with the ghost of something we had no chance of ever knowing in the first place?"
Hey all, sorry again for the delay, since I don't have a lot to say about Pillars of Creation I'll start with that. This episode takes place at the Pasadena Astronomy Society where Paul, Becca, and Vernon go to see the lunar eclipse. Becca and Vernon are still trying to dupe Paul into thinking she'll have his baby so he'll give them money but Paul catches on to them. This brings some conflict but it also enlightens all of them.
Vernon is feeling worthless about losing his job and being broke and Rebecca realizes the time she was pregnant is the only time she ever felt special, Paul also comes to the realization that perhaps he wanted Becca as his surrogate because that would mean his marriage to Lindsay wasn't in vain. In the end, they have a threesome and seem to be comfortable with the idea of being a thruple.
In Zero Eggplants we see a flashback of Gretchen and Lindsay going somewhere to see Him (Jimmy?), and Gretchen says she's not angry anymore. In the present, things seem okay with the best couple ever and at a cake tasting, they meet a couple (Rachel and Quinn), that feels like looking into the mirror for them, totally okay with being fucked up together, but getting better at the same time.
Gretchen is super excited about having couple-friends and is girl-crushing hard on Rachel, even anxious about what she says cause she's not good at friendship in general, only someone as screwed up as her, like Lindsay, can truly handle it. Gretchen and Rebecca get together once and they go deep right away, Rachel opens up about a miscarriage and Gretchen about her depression. Later, Rachel tells Gretchen she doesn't let many people in but once she does, they're in for life, and this clearly triggers her.
Gretchen doesn't want to have sex with Jimmy and she says there nothing he can do to stop her from being mad about what happened, except maybe sucking a dick himself so eventually Quinn, that seems worried about the couple, suggests Jimmy actually goes on a gay dating app and does what Gretchen says. So Jimmy goes to a dude's house but he's nervous and acts like a fool so the guy kicks him out and gives him a rating of zero eggplants which Jimmy doesn't take very well, later they come up with the idea that perhaps Quinn can be the dude.
When Gretchen finds out she's ecstatic but then she starts freaking out about making a commitment for life, not only to Jimmy but also their new friends, so she pretends to feel betrayed and blows up at dinner kicking Rachel and Quinn out. She says Rachel was a bit too intense for her and distracts Jimmy with sex, but later, while Jimmy sleeps, she gets out of bed and takes a bunch of Edgar's pills.
This is clearly a set back in her well-being and the beginning of something that could en horribly wrong, the scene was quiet but so powerful, we've seen Gretchen wasn't feeling well, but how can you tell if it's a danger to her life, or her health, when it happens so often? How do you know if it's a normal bad day? Do you ask constantly? Would they even be honest? This is the terrifying nature of depression, no matter how hard you try you can never know for sure it's under control, it's a fickle monster, one you let in your bed, you learn to live with it, it even feels cozy, natural, it molds to your body, but you never know when it will expand and swallow you whole. That impotence is the deadliest thing and given what we see in the next few episodes, this is definitely starting to weigh on Jimmy.
"You're in for life."
What do you think these flashforwards mean? I look forward to your comments.
