In this week's episode, our dear little Fleabag (gosh, I feel like Godmother talking this way) has a crush. You know how I know? For on thing, I did not expect to see Fleabag in a church, but it all made sense when I remembered the premiere. "Peace be with you." sounds a lot like something someone would say on The Handmaid's Tale though, and not on the good side of Gilead. That said, for once it's a crush I can get behind, so this is a nice change of pace. I mean, the first guy we were introduced to was hot but kind of weird, and then there was Tooth Man, and let's not go there. The Priest though, whom we met last week at the awkward engagement dinner from hell (ha), I fully support.
Because this is Fleabag however, the obvious fly in the ointment is that he's, well, a priest. Fleabag is of the same mind, Googling many variations of "sex with catholic priest" and "abstinence", Fleabag is obviously searching for a loophole in the Bible. Being a rather poorly informed agnostic myself, I have no idea how things work in the UK regarding priests and their marital status. Does their previous committment to God allow for any extra-conjugal activity? Is it like in the U.S. where they can be married? Or like in France where they definitely can't?
Fashion-wise, Fleabag is quite taken with The Priest's outfit, while I'm coveting her series of excellent jumpsuits that have been on display so far. Back to her dating prospects though, I feel like if The Priest can drink/smoke/swear/use holy cloth as tea-soaking napkins, there's definitely a chance he won't feel too terrible about cheating on Jesus, but maybe I'm mistaken. As Fleabag astutely notes, he's "a cool priest" (yes, just like the "cool mom" in Mean Girls), and he writes restaurant reviews. I almost died at that point (of happiness), because my newfound love of competitive cooking shows knows no bounds and if The Priest could just guest star as a judge, life would be complete.
We've heard from Fleabag that her little café is doing well, and far from being a generic answer to a seemingly nice but actually odious question from a relative, it's actually true. Claire's bafflement at this unexpected success is delightful (based on the customer per sandwich ratio of season 1, her reaction is quite understandable), but then Claire is always delightful. So are her sneakers. (This show is going to ruin my fashion budget, I know it). "Chatty Wednesday" sounds like a nightmare though, but Claire fending off the sweet old guy who tried to talk to her was hilarious. Claire, far from wanting to sample her sister's now famous sandwiches, warns her Martin actually wants to press charges following their brawl. She also provides: legal advice, a hot lawer she may or may not have slept with (her hair looked fine to me), and support. In short: Claire is the best.
You know who isn't the best though? Godmother. Probably naively, I thought Godmother's goodwill from the (transferred) miscarriage would last a little longer than just the greeting at the door, but Fleabag was firmly set back in her black sheep place as soon as The Painting started and she was told she had "such a nice, thick, neck" and was painted from the back. Fleabag uses Father's delightful gift of a councelling session with a therapist in hopes of getting the money back, and ends up in a one on one verbal fight with none other than FIONA SHAW. If you'd told me Aunt Petunia would quickly become one of my favorite guest stars, I would've told you you'd clearly indulged into some Essence of Insanity. But first on Killing Eve and now in Fleabag, Fiona Shaw is wonderful (and has dry forearms. Don't we all, I almost had to sleep with lotion-filled gloves to rehydrate my hands after a WE of glacial winds and almost OCD hand washing in these trying flu times).
“Do you want to fuck the priest or do you want to fuck god”
“Can you fuck God?!”
“Oh yes.”
I'm going to need the Counsellor to be present in every following episode, thank you. Following her (sudden) devoutness, and breakthrough that she does, in fact, want to fuck the priest, Fleabag agrees to help him with his little event.
It's quite an emotional outing since it involves: Harry revealing he has a kid and acting like he gave birth to it (ah, the wild post-partum hormones!), a cupcake emergency (there is a cupcake on the floor! I want those kinds of problems), a coconut theft (you can hire coconuts?!) and the equivalent of Jesse writing in the margins of Rory's book, with The Priest selecting a few choice passages from the Bible (maybe those about cheating & faith?) for Fleabag to delve into. And just when I thought my love for The Priest couldn't increase, he refuses to interact with Harry's kid because "Oh I don’t know how to talk to babies, sorryyyy!". Perfect human being, you know... minus the priesthood.
I'm so glad this show is back, it's insanely quotable and I can't wait to see where it goes next. (Hint: probably that work event Claire mentioned, that Fleabag will cater. This should be good.)
So fam, would you fuck your priest? Go on, don't be shy.
