A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the SpoilerTV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Jake: “Is the pineapple the slut, or is it calling someone else a slut?” Holt: “Clearly the pineapple is the slut.” (Mads)
2. Amy: “I'm all out of hoots. I'm hootless.” (Mads)
3. Amy: “You know what that means. This B needs a C in her A.” Jake: “Oh my God!” Amy: “This babe needs a coconut in her arms.” Jake: “Oh, I thought you were saying this [bleep] needs a [bleep] in her [bleep].” Amy: “Oh, my God!” Jake: “Yeah, that was my reaction.” (Mads)
1. Margaret: “The word Mossad should never factor into your dating game.”
2. Kathleen: “Would you like to clink with a shrink?”
3. Syd: “I’m trying to keep a low profile. My show kind of blew up. Allyson said tens of people watched.”
1. Nathaniel: “Women…” Greg: “Can’t say adages about them anymore.” (Nikos)
1. Lorna: “You help me, Marcos Diaz. You help me because you are too good of a man to let people die just 'cause I suck at love.” (Mads)
2. Jace: “Then why did you run?” Kid: “Because you're Purifiers. Y'all are like the Klan. My granddaddy didn't need a reason to run from the Klan. Neither did yours.” (Mads)
3. Lauren: “Well, there are mutants, Mr. Rael. Like me. And if you ever come after my family again.” Rael: “Oh, my God.” Lauren: “There will be consequences. And if you talk to anyone…” Rael: “I-I won't say anything, I swear to God!” Lauren: “I know you won't. Because in this world, anyone could be a mutant. You don't know who they are. You're never safe.” (Mads)
1. Miles: “Sometimes life takes us on a journey to find an answer we didn’t even know we were looking for.”
2. Miles: “Hold up. You think maybe you’re pushing so hard in this because you see yourself in her?” Cara: “Excuse me.” Miles: “I’m just saying you know what it’s like to search for a parent and everything that comes with it.” Cara: “Yeah, yeah I do, and I also know how much that eats at you - not knowing why you were abandoned, thinking your parents didn’t want you. Look, she’s fighting it now but I think deep down Heidi wants to find her parents. She’s just been waiting.” Miles: “For what?” Cara: “For us?”
3. Jaya: “I miss you.” Rakesh: “That’s the best piece of news I’ve heard today...and I reunited long-lost sisters so...”
1. Eleanor Shellstrop - "I'm crying because I'm miserable and it's all your fault. You look amazing and this sucks and I'm furious and I'm the happiest I've ever been and I blame you!" (Ellys)
1. Kensi: “Lots of hotel rooms in Acapulco.” Deeks: “Great, we can go hang with our cartel friends. Drag me through the desert again.”
2. Deeks: “I don’t want any gimmicks. I don’t want trivia night. I don’t want game night. I just want this place to...I just want it to feel like home. You know?” Callen: “Mmm. That it does.” Deeks: “That’s because it is your home. You live upstairs.” Kensi: “Yeah.” Callen: “And that is a good point.” Sam: “Well, it feels like home to me.” Deeks: “Yeah but you live on a boat. I think that automatically disqualifies you.”
1. Pride: “You know it’s funny. My mama has the exact opposite problem as you. She cares too much, always has. Feels other people’s pain and suffering to the point where it incapacitates her. She can’t function. All in all, I’d rather be her than you.”
1. Malcolm: “When I was your age, my father taught me what makes a man truly strong is helping other people.” Jamal: “You mean Gramps in there?” Malcolm: “Yeah, I know his methods may seem a little...old school but my father is the strongest man that I know.”
2. Calvin: “I wonder what Malcolm’s saying to that little thuglet out there.” Dave: “You know what, we could watch him on the security cam feed on my phone. Unless you think spying on them would be unethical.” Calvin: “Dave, we stole a kid’s bike. That ship has sailed.”
3. Malcolm: “Jamal, what my father taught me is that strength doesn’t mean being able to take things from other people. It means being able to earn them for yourself. It means doing the right thing even when the wrong thing looks easier. And most important, real strength doesn’t come from pushing other people down. It comes from lifting them up.” Jamal: “You give me some speech and it’s supposed to change my life?” Malcolm: “Brother, I wish it could…”
1. Flawless: “Are you deaf? I said Shakespeare stole my dog.” John: “The Shakespeare?” Flawless: “Is there more than one?” John: “I don't know. You said your name was ‘Flawless.’ I'm just trying to roll with it.” (Mads)
2. Lucy: “The world isn't black and white and it won't be better with us off the force. We're out there making a difference. Think about everybody you have helped. Now think about what would have happened if you weren't there. Don't throw it all away for a false moral moment.” (Mads)
3. Lucy: “I, um I've had a really tough day, and I know things are complicated between us, but maybe we could talk sometimes as friends?” John: “I would love that.” (Mads)
1. Sonny: “Thanks a pantload there, Lassie, but we already fell in the damned well.” (Prpleight)
1. Jean : “Sweetheart, I’ve noticed you’re pretending to masturbate, and I was wondering if you would like to talk about it.” (Shirleena)
1. Miggy: “Hey, you're the one that told him to ‘Liza it up.’ No one knows who that is!” Rory: “Oooh, take that back!” Miggy: I will not.” (Mads)
2. Angie: “I can't believe our kids are fighting.” Douglas: “Well, technically, they've only been circling each other for half an hour.” (Mads)
3. Angie: “What's this?” Douglas: “My apology. Do what you feel is right.” Angie: “I'm gonna write ‘butts.’ “ (Mads)
1. Georgie: “What’s the gallbladder do?” MeeMaw: “I guess not much if they’re taking it out.”
2. Nora: “So, you’ve got a tummy ache.” Sheldon: “Yes. I’m afraid it might be cholera.” Nora: “Again?”
3. Rocky: “I was born with a hole in my heart.” Sheldon: “My mom says everyone was born with a Jesus-shaped hole in their heart, but I’m guessing this is different.”
1. Gretchen: "Why do you think we keep telling wedding planners these hella tight but fake stories about us? Is it because we don't have a love story?" Jimmy: "What? We have the best love story because ours is ugly and uncomfortable and haunting and brilliant and thrilling and, yeah, it's messy and complicated, but it's true. And that's beautiful, at least to me." Gretchen: "To me, too.” (Mads)
2. Jimmy: "Hey, you know that Princess Di really is dead, right?" Gretchen: "Yeah, Jimmy. So's JonBenet.” (Mads)
