Quote of the Week - Week of December 2nd, 2018

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.

All American - 

1. Layla: "Can I ask you a favor?" Spencer: "Anything." Layla: "Can we finish our dance?"

2. Chris" [to Olivia] "When the dust settles, holla at me. Doesn't matter how long, you're kind of worth waiting for." (Mads)

The Big Bang Theory - 

1. Leonard: "I have something that might help. It's a recording of the only person whose opinion Sheldon actually respects." Amy: "Hawking? Feynman?" Leonard: "No, himself. It's a pep talk he made when he was a kid."

2. Amy: "I got something that I think might cheer you up. It is the emergency pep talk you made when you were a kid." Sheldon: "Oh, that. I was saving it for the day they stop making Star Wars movies... I don't think that's ever gonna happen." (Julia Krassnik)

Bull - 

1. Benny: “Who is this mystery witness?” Bull: “I have no idea but now everybody lives to see another day and that certainly beats the alternative.”
2. Bull: “Nothing I like better than a ‘snowball’s chance in hell’ story. I’m sorry. It’s late and I’m old and cranky.” Danny: “No, you’re not. You’re just too tired to lie and too smart not to know better. What do you really think his chances are?” Bull: “The awful truth? Your friend picked a terrible moment in the history of this country to be from someplace else. But, you never know. Desperate times call for desperate measures and this country was founded by desperate people, so who knows?”
3. INS Agent: “Make sure you call me if you hear from him.” Danny: “Why? You have a heart problem?” (Dahne)

Charmed - 

1. Maggie: "I wanted to get Macy laid, but not like this."

2. Maggie: "That’s enough to make me go from vegan-ish to full-on vegan."

3. Macy: "You know, if I can survive almost getting impregnated by a demon bug queen, I'm hoping he and I can figure out a way around this mark." (Mads)

 FBI -
1. Jubal: “There’s nothing more important than putting the bad guys away, but….uh, yeah, without AA I don’t get to be a Fed and I like being a Fed.”
2. Maggie after seeing the obviously dead body: “Think it’s too late to ask him how he tracked own Cruz?” (Dahne)

The Gifted - 

1. Clarice: "Petite female with the ability to make purple hoops." John: "You know, I always thought they were a bit more lavender."

2. Marcos: "If you bring up the X-Men right now, so help me God, I will punch you in the mouth."

3. Lorna: "If you’re not broken going in, you’re definitely broken coming out." (Mads)

Happy Together - 
1. Cooper: “Do you guys know that people on the internet can be really mean?” Jake: “Oh, you mean the place where racists go to make friends?”

2. Claire: “It’s just ‘Hey guys” sounds like you’re a youth group leader about to tell a story about a cool carpenter who had a lot of crazy ideas.”
3. Claire: “Oooh, I feel so bad for Cooper.” Jake: “Yeah, me too. But he made $10,000 just by existing today, so I think he’ll be okay.” (Dahne)

Into the Dark - 

1. Auditioner: "Raise your arms up, together like a triangle, out like an offering, fly like a plane."

2. Toy Jingle: "Pooka see, Pooka do, Pooka me, Pooka you, you never know what Pooka will do! Pooka loves, Pooka fights, Pooka laughs, Pooka cries, you never know what Pooka will do!"

3. Business Exec: "This is gonna rip Christmas a new asshole." (Mads)

The Kids Are Alright -

1. Joey: “Where would Mom go for three days?” Timmy: “And once she’s seen the outside world, why would she ever come back?”
2. Lawrence: “Or we could just ask Mom and Dad. Honest, regular talking without any subterfuge or spying.” Joey: “I don’t understand.” Lawrence: “How are you not in jail yet?”
3. Peggy: “I’m gonna be having an operation on Monday.” Timmy: “What?” Peggy: “I’m gonna be fine. I’m going to be gone for 3 days and then I’m coming back, as tempting as the sweet rest of death might be.”
4. Mike: “Your mom and I are going out. You have to keep an eye on the baby.” Eddie: “I’m kind of busy…” Peggy, handing him the baby: “...unless the rest of that sentence is ‘finding a new place to live,’ here.” (Dahne)

Legacies - 

1. Alaric: "I am happy right now, in the arms of my demon possessed baby mama."

2. Jo: "You tell Caroline I said thank you for being my girl’s mom."

3. Jo: "I loved that I had this. But it’s a lie. And now I need you to help me make it right. The longer I’m here the more I remember where I came from. I used to watch you. I used to watch all of you, like in a dream, where everything is warm and happy. I think I was at peace. So that’s where I’ll be, waiting for you." (Mads)

A Million Little Things - 

1. Maggie: "I have so many feelings that I can't process because I am too ashamed to admit that I have them."

2. Maggie: "When I first met you, you said what you needed was a time machine. Where would you go if you had one?" Delilah: "I would go back two years ago. That's when I lost him. When he became distant and buried himself in work. He shut me out. Everybody thinks that I cheated on Jon, but he left me. He left me two years ago for reasons I still don't understand. And he left me seven weeks ago, not for someone, just for nothing. You asked me why I wasn't ready to take my ring off earlier? Because I should have either taken my rings off two years ago or fought for him."

3. Walter: "What are these?" Rome: "Dad, I tried, man. I tried to be the man you taught me to be. I tried not to ask for help." Walter: "Help for what?" Rome: "Sometimes I get really sad for no reason. Actually, a lot of times. I have clinical depression I've had it for a while." (DarkUFO)

Murphy Brown - 

1. Corky: "Tomorrow is National Adopt a Pet Day! Millions of dogs and cats need homes. So maybe we can shine a light on the situation and get these furry friends adopted." Murphy: "And did you know that Donald Trump is the only president since McKinley not to have a pet?" Corky: "Well, people in glass houses, Murphy." Murphy: "I had a dog when I was a kid. Its name was Lassie." Frank: "Was it real or was it stuffed?" Murphy: "…It was real to me."

2. Phyllis: "You’re the health inspector?" Health inspector: "Here in compliance with the FDA Federal Food Code. Your safety certification is almost expired." Phyllis: "Is this because I refused to serve Mitch McConnell? It's not for the obvious reasons. He always comes in without an umbrella and leaves with one."

3. Miles: "I’m not a dog person. I had a girlfriend in college who had one of those giant poodles. He used to follow me into the bathroom and stare at me while I was taking a shower. Judging. The first time my girlfriend and I had sex, it thought I was killing her, and it tried to attack me. I could never spend the night at her place because I had a sense that the dog was just waiting for me to fall asleep so it could eat me. No, I am not a dog person."

4. Murphy: "So, why are there these big letter E's over some of the kennels?" Shelter director: "The 'E' is for Euthanasia. It means that the animal has been here for a long time or is difficult to place." Murphy [outraged]: "Waaaait a minute! Are you saying that these animals are going to be put down? What kind of a death factory are you running here, lady?"

5. Avery [excited]: "We got a dog!?" Murphy: "Now that you're nearing 30 and you have your own TV show, I thought you could handle the responsibility."

6. Avery: "Now, Lisa, you're a veteran teacher, right? How's all this [armed teachers] sitting with you?" Lisa, teacher in Texas: "Not so good. Teaching junior high is hard enough. You don't want to make me stand all day inside a cloud of Axe Body Spray and also hold a gun."

7. Avery: "You know what? You should question whatever the Wolf Network tells you, because they will feed you any amount of BS that you are willing to believe. See, here at Wolf, we don't care about facts. All we care about at Wolf is shilling for this current administration. You know what? Actually, you guys would save a lot of money by firing your so-called journalists and just bringing out a ventriloquist's dummy, sitting it right there on the knee of the President and just letting him reel off whatever he wants you to hear. You know, I stuck with this place because God, I thought I could change the culture around here, but believe me I can’t. That's not gonna happen, not unless you out there get up off your couch and you let the powers-that-be know that you are not gonna take it anymore. This is Avery Brown signing off, taking my soul with me. * mic drop * " (Julia Krassnik)

Single Parents - 

1. Jackie: "Who does he think he is, Aaron Sorkin? Sorry. My husband writes for Gotham."

2. Miggy: "I love you, Will." Will: "Thank you, Miggy. I love you as well." Douglas: Everybody get out of my house."

3. Angie: "Well, it looks like you waited in the wrong line, bitch! D'Amato mic drop!" Will: "Oh, that's a rental." (Mads)

Tell Me a Story - 

1. Guy on TV: "Do not be the guy who keeps his finger on the trigger while he's holding the gun. You're just gonna end up getting distracted, and shooting something you wasn't supposed to. Trust me. Friend of mine did that. That's how he ended up with the nickname Three-Toed Todd."

2. Madeline: "I’m not the evil witch you think I am, Hannah." Hannah: "I don't pretend to know who you are."

3. Kayla: "It's all screwed up right now, and I just, I need some time to breathe, on my own." (Mads)