"It's a struggle for me to get out of bed every moring, it takes every single ounce of energy that I have, and then I have nothing left for the rest of the day, nothing."
This time, on This Is Us, we get to see the aftermath of Jack's death, and the pain it brings to his family even after they've cried most of their tears, Rebecca seems to be hearing his voice and struggling to hold it together for the kids which, brings a very hard to watch scene when Randall calls her on it saying she broke her promise that everything was going to be okay. That moment was absolutely heartbreaking because there's nothing fair about it and yet it's absolutely true to real life, as this show often is.
Later, Rebecca opens up to Randall, she says it's a struggle for her to get out of bed every morning, that it takes all the energy she has to do so and then she's got nothing left for the rest of the day, she tells him Jack took her house hunting a few months before the fire and she wonders all the time what would've happened if she'd said yes, he's of course stunned by seeing this side of his mom and he says nothing, but later, he calls Howard University, where he'd been accepted, to say he'd be staying home with his family for now.
Randall's confrontation comes after seeing how Kevin and Kate are struggling with Jack's loss, Kate seems to be eating more than usual and she confesses she never sent in her tape for Berkley, and Kevin seems to be drunk most of the time, not only because of his father's death but because he's been lost without football, without a purpose. Later we learn Kevin still feels Jack was the only person in the world who ever took him seriously and he wonders what he would've thought of his acting, since that's validation he'll never get. This also seems to be related to the fact that he wants to be serious with Zoe but she seems reluctant at first, later she tells him to pick her up from the airport which would suggest she might be willing to take "the king of cashmere" seriously.
Toby and Kate are excited but they want to keep the IVF a secret to avoid judgment, but when they're getting ready for Kevin's premiere and Miguel accidentally finds the IVF medication (it was hilarious that Toby's first instinct was confessing to being a heroin addict). Rebecca decides to state her opinion, though it's nothing they didn't already know, and Kate says even though they could adopt, she wants to see her and Toby on the baby's face, she wants to see Jack, and that she feels she's the only one who can pass a piece of Jack on since she doesn't see Kevin doing it, then Toby, who is struggling without his meds, lashes out at Rebecca, he says they've heard it all and it's their choice and then he leaves. Later when he doesn't show up, in spite of her doubts, Rebecca offers to give Kate her shot and tells her that after losing Jack the thought of losing someone else paralyzes her and that's why she's so worried.
Now, about Beth, I have to say I wonder what they were trying to do with her in this episode, we saw her stressing over something at work but her storyline seemed completely irrelevant and unrelated to the rest of the cast, and I didn't see a good reason why. Randall though was all over trying to fix everybody's life. He wants to make sure Deja is comfortable, which she's not since she feels her new school is too white, so she takes her to the rec center to meet Sky, the daughter of one of his tenants called Chichi, they hit it off luckily, but instead of enjoying people's company Randall focuses on the issue the rec center has and sets off to fix them.
He goes to city hall to talk to councilman Brown since the complaints the community had been placing had been ignored, he finds out the councilman is getting a haircut so, as always, he goes the extra mile heading over to his barbershop, the guy seems friendly, he gives a speech about how he got into politics to honor his father who was a great man, but that now he had to make difficult choices, he says it's ironic he got into politics to honor a man he'd not be constantly disappointing, to get Randall out of his sight without any awkwardness, he says he'll have a maintenance crew there in the afternoon, but no one shows up, so Randall sets out to do it himself.
We also get to see William a little in this episode, we see how he began a friendship with Chichi and this informs the conversation she later has with Randall. She tells him William was family to her and she likes seeing parts of him in Randall but she doesn't feel like he's a part of them, she says he's always trying to fix their problems instead of spending time with them, being a part of the community. This touches a nerve for him since he later tells Beth that he feels like he never truly fits in, he's always trying too hard or not hard enough, which is only made worse when Kevin lets it slip out what Kate said about her being the only one who could pass on a piece of Jack, which clearly hurts Randall deeply.
What did you think of the episode? I look forward to your comments and I leave you with the poll.
