A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Octavia: “The farmers won't save the world, Monty. The warriors will.” (Jimmy)
1. O'Rielly: "Even with the sweatshirt, and the resemblance, and the anniversary, why would he believe you're Billy's ghost?" (Prpleight)
2. Tyrone: "Have either of your read Tell Tale Heart?" Fuchs: "In high school. ..... Okay, maybe it was the abridged version." Tyrone: "It's a short story." (Prpleight)
1. Kitty Montgomery: “I’m eating tums like a cheerleader gobbles c***!” (Claire)
2. Verena Baptist when Plum come to an important realization: “Well, look who’s awake!” (Claire)
3. Sana about misogynistic porn: “Do they look like us? No, they’re perfect, the ‘precious ones.’
And how’s that working out for them?” (Claire)
1. Black Falcon: "I'm into dudes, dude!" (Jaz)
2. Ray Terrill: “"Did you think I got got jumped because I was gay? Well I wasn't jumped but I am gay." (Jaz)
1. Emily to Aunt Lydia: “I’m wondering why such an important, brilliant man would take in such a sh*** handmaid.” (Claire)
2. June after having given birth alone: “I think I deserve a whole cake!” (Claire)
3. Commander Lawrence about his wife: “Life didn’t turn out the way she wanted it to. She was an art professor. She wanted everything to be beautiful.” (Claire)
1. Dylan: “Would anyone stand to benefit here by her death?” Joan: “Honey, this is a publishing house, not Game of Thrones.”
2. Brophy: “You’re fishing and there’s nothing in the lake.”
1. Khlyen: "When you are lost, when you are breaking, when you have no strength left to fight her, find John Jaqobis. He is your true north, your only way home." (Prpleight)
1. OALex: “Even after you leave a house, the home you had there stays with you forever. And the best part is when you do eventually leave that house, it gets to be somebody else’s home too.”
2. Justin: “This is Nori Sterling. You have to be smooth. More Fresh Prince, less Urkel.”
3. Darryl: “You live in my garage. Having you over for one meal is not what makes you a burden.” MAlex: “Ooh, you took a shot at me. Feels like Thanksgiving already.”
4. Mom: “Your father has become obsessed with cars going too fast for the neighborhood.” MAlex: “I thought he was obsessed with finding the perfect pair of cargo shorts.” Mom: “Every week of retirement is a new, fun adventure.”
5. Ron: “I thought this would go without saying, but when wooing a woman, don’t woo the brother. The woman’s the one you want to woo.”
6. MAlex: “Look, you were right, Daryl. Ever since the divorce, I’ve had all these feelings of anger and hurt just bottled up. It all came out in one ferocious punch like I was a young Mike Tyson.” Daryl: “Well, how young are we talking here? Like, age four.”
7. Justin: "We're not in the keeping promises business, we're in the getting elected business." (Prpleight)
1. Jesse: “I'm glad you came back.” Tulip: “Yeah, me too.” Jesse: “To the end of the world.” Tulip: “To the end of the world.” (Milo)
2. Jesse: “You never know what a person'll say, 'til you ask 'em right.” (Milo)
3. Cassidy: “Yeah, but I heated it up. That sanitizes things, don't it?” (Milo)
1. Alexis: “Reverie is supposed to make people’s lives better, not end them.”
2. Mara: “I want an answer that doesn’t feel like I’m doing the wrong thing.”
3. Chris: “You want advice? Here it is. It’s not okay to give up. It isn’t not now and it wasn’t when you did it to me.”
4. Paul: “If Holly chooses to stay in the program, at some point, isn’t that her decision.” Alexis: “What? No.” Paul: “She’s an adult. It’s her life.” Alexis: “We’re not letting clients die in Reverie. What kind of company do you think I’m running?”
1. Roland Cavanaugh: “You remind me of my second ex-wife.”
~~~In a scene between real-life spouses Jennifer Finnigan and Jonathan Silverman (Donna)
1. Camille: “Hi, momma.” Adora: “Goodness, I didn't expect you. The house is not up to par for visitors.” (DarkUFO)
2. Girl: “What if, after you die, part of you goes to heaven, part of you stays here, just to see how things turn out?” (DarkUFO)
3. Camille: “My demons are not remotely tackled. They’re mildly concussed.” (DarkUFO and Donna)
4. Richard: “This is a crime about power for someone who feels powerless.” (DarkUFO)
5. Adora: “You were never sweet.” (DarkUFO)
1. Samantha: “There are three things that happen when I tell different people different stories. One, they don't recognize it, which means I don't need to worry about them. Two, they know I did it, but don't have the balls to say anything, which means I need to worry about them even less, or three, they call me on it. And believe me, three is my kind of guy.” (Jimmy)
2. Donna: "There are players who never put up good stats but you keep them around because they make the people around them better." (Ellys)
1. Sam: “The last time I was here, we were engaged.” Eddie: “I thought the last time you were here, you snuck in and you set his bed on fire.” Sam: “Either way, lots of memories.”
2. Eddie: “Yeah well, the heart’s like a funhouse mirror. It distorts things.” Sam: “You read that on a fortune cookie?” Eddie: “No, Snapple cap.”
3. Eddie: “What just happened? You just turned my no into your yes?”
4. Eddie: “We’re gonna do everything we can to get that video back.” Sam: “You swear.” Eddie: “I swear. And then we’ll kill your ex and bury the body. Okay?”
5. Sam: “Aram is...is your cool, fun mobster. Not ‘kill you, bury you in cement’ mobster.” Eddie: “You’d be surprised what kind of mobster he can be.”
1. Lavinia Peck-Foster: “I’ve had more lasers pointed at my privates than James Bond.” (Pop Culture Guy)
2. Lavinia Peck-Foster: “Lawyer, what do you know about laws?” (Ellys Cartin)
3. Carol Anne Keen: "The bruises on his head are consistent with being struck by a wealthy woman.” (JW)
4. Lavinia Peck-Foster: “Children were the one thing Edgar couldn’t give me. Or anything on the top shelf of the cabinet.” (JW)
5: Man Warning Drivers: "Lady Driver, coming through! Lady Driver!" (JW)
1. Liza: “That fact checker was trying to age-shame us for being young, so I told them I’m old in protest. And it’s like, who cares? I don’t identify as any age. They were so focused on how successful we were for our age and it shouldn’t matter how old we are.” (Ellys)
2. Kiara: “Reese is in pieces.” (Ellys)
3. Liza: “I’m nobody’s hero, I’m a fraud. But you do what you have to do.” (Ellys)
4. Diana: "I don't know what to expect, Liza. I have to be prepared for polyester, but it's worth the risk." (Ellys)
5. Charles: "How did you get it?" Liza: "I didn't run away." (Ellys)
6. Enzo's mother (in Italian): "Just how old are you?" Diana (in Italian): "Madam, none of your business." (Ellys)
Random Disney movie: Gabby: “Wow. Even autocorrect can’t help this kid.”
