A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. Since there hasn’t been a lot of TV in the last few weeks, here’s our favorite quotes for the month so far. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Donatella Versace: “They'll judge the killer, yes. But they'll judge the victim too. First, they'll weep; then they'll whisper.” (Nirat)
2. Donatella Versace: “I will not allow that man, that nobody, to kill my brother twice.” (Nirat)
3. Antonio D'Amico: “Was I paid? To love him! Was I paid to love him?!” (Nirat)
1. Local Businessman: “When you staring down the barrel of a gun, you don’t care if the person saving you is a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Black or White or some guy in a weird Parliament Funkadelic getup. You just wanna be saved.” (Prpleight)
2. Cop: "A liquor store just got robbed." Jefferson: "And, and I'm sure the description is what? A black man? Dressed in a suit and tie? Getaway car a mid-sized Volvo wagon?!" (Jamie)
1. The Judge: “In my 30 years behind this bench, I have seen my share of criminals. But I confess this defendant stands apart.” Captain Singh: “Thank you all for coming on such short notice. A few hours ago, the very existence of our city came under the threat of nuclear destruction. But one man rose to meet that challenge.” The Judge: “The defendant was in a position of authority. Our city trusted him to bring the guilty to justice.” Captain Singh: “He ran into danger, knowing he would suffer burns all over his body.” The Judge: “He used that trust to take an innocent and vulnerable life.” Captain Singh: “This man was not thinking about himself. He was thinking about you. The first responders on the front lines.” The Judge: “Never have I seen a defendant more unmoved.” Captain Singh: “Never have I seen a man with more bravery.” The Judge: “Never have I seen such inhumanity.” Captain Singh: “Such heroism.” The Judge: “Such a lack of regard for human life.” Captain Singh: “It is my great honor to present Central City Police Department's Award of Valor to this city's finest hero. The fastest man alive, The Flash!” The Judge: “The court hereby orders that Bartholomew Henry Allen should be incarcerated for the rest of his natural life, without the possibility of parole and that Mr. Allen be immediately remanded to Iron Heights Penitentiary. And may God have mercy on your soul.” (Justyna)
1. Dr. Glassman to Dr. Shaun Murphy: "I brought you here because I thought this place would provide a challenge for your abilities, but I realized I brought you here because I thought you needed me." (Naomi)
1. Meredith: "You are Jo Wilson. I know exactly who you are." (Max)
1. Nomi: "You know it's LGBTQ. RESPECT THE LETTER, B***!" (Jaz)
1. Kona: “Quid pro quo, brother. It’s Latin for buy some shrimp, get some names.”
2. Steve: “Pua, listen. No pressure. This is the most important case you’ve ever worked. If you don’t get our stuff back, I’m gonna have to listen to this revisionist history for next 3 months.”
3. Steve: “You know what’s crazy to me?” Danny: “What?” Steve: “It’s crazy that they...they let someone as crazy as you carry a firearm. That’s what nuts.” Danny: “Who’s they? You hired me, you putz. The state has nothing to do with it. You hired me.” Steve: “Well that was a lapse in my judgment, wasn’t it?”
1. Oliver: “We all deserve hell.”
2. Michaela: “Is he dead? He’s dead, isn’t he? Everyone around us dies. That’s what we do. Everyone dies! Everyone dies!”
3. Annalise: “He’s gonna hurt this baby.” Jorge: “Alright, let’s get out of here.” Annalise: “He doesn’t care about this baby. He doesn't. Believe me. Believe me, he’s gonna hurt this baby and you’ll have blood of your hands.”
1. Martin Riggs: "I'm not the, you know, most ideal patient. But when I'm staring into the abyss, you're the only thing that keeps me from falling in." (Justyna)
1. Boser: “Bet Jack never thought his life would hinge on his ability to fill out paperwork.”
2. Jack: “Yeah, I mean he was one of the best CIA covers, like, ever.” Matty: “He was also one of the of the most expensive CIA covers, like, ever. “ Jack: “Yeah.” Matty: “So much so that the top brass considered having him assassinated. They called it Operation Budget Cuts.”
3. Mac: “After Katrina, all gas lines in New Orleans were retrofitted with emergency shutoff valves in case of another disaster.” Matty: “And?” Mac: “I’m about to be that disaster.”
1. Christy, when Bonnie tells her that Adam wants to have a church wedding: “Doesn’t he know that if you walk into a church wearing white, you’ll burst into flames?” Bonnie: “Thank you!” (Claire)
1. Veronica: "Chery? Nobody invited Fascist Barbie to the party." ~Veronica to Cheryl as she is trying to make the Southside students new to Riverdale High feel welcome, while Cheryl encourages them to transfer elsewhere. What can I say? I like snark. (Katherine)
1. Kate McKinnon impersonating special counsel Robert Mueller. “You know how on the tv show “Lost,” there was no satisfying ending? Well, this investigation is no “Lost.” (Claire)
1. Egan: “I built this secret entrance. Behind the heater in this utility closet there’s a hatch leading to an exhaust shaft which sits on top of an industrial fan.” Cabe: “And our friends could climb out.” Egan: “Oh no, shaft is 30 ft high. Steel walls. Zero friction coefficient.” Cabe: “Well, how were you gonna get in?” Egan: “Rope. Or braided deer intestines.” (Prpleight)
1. J'onn J'onzz impersonating Kara Danvers to Lena Luthor: "You have no idea how much I am not feeling like myself." (Donna)
1. Donna: “Who knows how to use a flamethrower?” (Marko)
2. Patience: “Why do you have all of these?” Donna: “I'm from Minnesota.” (Marko)
1. Marcus: “It’s not my fault cancelling a balloon drop looks exactly the same as dropping balloons!” (Antonia)
1. Old Lady: “Wasn't he fancy?” Randall: “Fancy? William wasn't fancy. Ohh you mean gay.” Old Lady: “Yes.” Randall: “No. Bi.” Old Lady: “Bye.” (Marko)
1. Sheldon: “Are you sure you’re not getting a divorce? Packing up your kids in the middle of the night and moving in with your mom has all the earmarks of a divorce.” (Claire)
2. Georgie: “Where’s the water come out of?” George Sr.: “Well seeing as that’s the dryer, nowhere.” Georgie: “So, this one’s the washer?” George Sr.: “No Fooling you.” Georgie: “What are you doing?” George Sr.: “Separating the whites from the colors.” Georgie: “Whoa, that’s racist.” George Sr.: “How did I get a rocket scientist for one son and a rodeo clown for the other?” Georgie: “Oh, man, I’d give anything to be a rodeo clown. They make people happy and they see the rodeo for free.” (Prpleight)
