A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. Since there hasn’t been a lot of TV in the last few weeks, here’s our favorite quotes for the month so far. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Boyle: “Was that a woman's voice?” Rosa: “It's my sister.” Boyle: “Wait, she called you ‘babe.’ When my cousin called me babe, you said relatives shouldn't do that. What's really going on?” Rosa: “I'm dating a woman. I'm bi.” Boyle: “Oh, that's great. That's great, Rose. I just want you to know that I totally support…” Rosa: “I don't wanna talk about it right now, okay? Just leave it alone, Boyle.” (Samantha)
1. Rebecca: “You don't think everyone should own a gun.” Bob: “No, they should own two guns. One for animals, one for people.” (Marko)
Bob: “You mean book like a Bible.” Rebecca: “Kinda but less Sci-Fi.” (Marko)
1. Barry (raps): “Now, here's a little story about our dad. He calls us morons when he gets real mad. He doesn't wear pants, and he sits in a chair. You know what I'm sayin'? Dads just don't care. Okay, here's the situation. Our dad has a problem with flatulation. He doesn't care about anything. For real, I got an "A" on a test, and he said, ‘Big deal.’ He has no worries; he has no fears. He hasn't seen a doctor in 15 years. If we come to our dad and we need to cry, he says, ‘You're ruining this episode of 'Magnum, P.I. Can't you see I'm busy and don't wanna be bothered? Sometimes I ask God why he made me a father. Now leave me alone and go upstairs.’ You know what I'm sayin'? Dads just don't care. If you don't know our dad, hey, don't worry - last name Goldberg, first name Murray. Most dads play catch and throw around a ball, but our dad doesn't care about his kids at all.” (Samantha)
2. Beverly: “Geoff Schwartz get in. Erica’s in grave danger!” Geoff: “Seriously?!” Beverly: “Not yet but she could be and we won’t know until we call her. And by we, I mean you.” Geoff: “Oh God, oh God, what’s happening?!” Beverly: “Just get in the damn car!” Geoff: “But my cello!”
Beverly: “There’s no time. Let’s move.” (Samantha)
3. Murray: “You guys think I nap because I’m lazy? No, I nap because I work my (bleep) fingers to the bone so you little (bleep) can have your dumb tennis shoes and your expensive (bleep) cameras.” (Claire and Dahne) Loved how he put kids in their place! As a mom, I cheered. ~Claire
1. Riggs: “Come on, Jonah. Hasn’t anyone ever told you, you can’t trust a man in white leather pants?”
2. Roger: “When we get there, let me do the talking. You spend enough time with crazy, you pick up a few things.” Riggs: “I don’t think I like what you’re implying, Rog.” Roger: “Hey, if the straight jacket fits, you know…”
3. Scorsese: “I think I’m losing my mind.” Roger: “There’s a lot of that going on around here.”
1. Beebo: “It is I, Beebo, risen from the grave.Yes! Jesus is the one true God! Which doesn’t mean science or evolution isn’t real! Anyway, you need to return to Greenland, which…will soon be melting thanks to global warming, which is also real!” (Jaz)
1. Mac: “This is one dysfunctional wolf pack.”
2. Riley: “It’s like I get why you’re doing it. I just don’t get why I’m doing it. I mean this guy has not made one sacrifice for me, not one. Then he shows back up in my life swearing he’s changed and next thing you know I’m helping commit baseball fraud. It’s like I’m 10 years old all over again.” Jack: “You helped him commit fraud at 10 years old? Don’t answer that.”
3. Jack: “You were a tough little girl and you’ve become a real bada**, Riley. Honestly, even if the biological doesn’t see it, the Wookie does.”
1. Mike Heck: "You do for family." (Claire)
1. Gert: “Okay, so, just so I understand, we're either gonna be facing off against Gibborim enforcer types, or a corrupt branch of the LAPD, with no weapons and no plan.” (Samantha)
1. Negan: “If things don't get fixed soon a lot of people are gonna die - my people. Not me of course. I'm living no matter what. I'm too good at this sh**, but others...I can't have that.” (DarkUFO)
