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American Housewife - Gala Auction - Review: "No One is Hunting Greg!"

Nov 30, 2017

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In "Gala Auction," Katie finally destroys Tara Summers. Fine, not quite. But she does get one step closer to it.

As Katie is racking in donations for the gala, including a gas card and free mini-golf, she's informed by Oliver's (extremely horrible) best friend Cooper Bradford that those things "so aren't" awesome. Oliver agrees, saying that "to raise money you need big ticket auction items." Katie blows them off. She's not going to play into the rich idiot game.

Meanwhile, Greg's gotten permission to take Taylor out of school for a couple of days and bring her to a Revolutionary War reenactment, in an attempt to teach her about history. Anna-Kat, upon hearing the words "blood" and "massacre," immediately wants in as well.

Katie attempts to get one of the moms to donate a week at her family's ski place like she did last year. Said mom laughs her off. Oliver, seeing the whole thing, calls in Angela and Doris for backup, who explain to Katie that the only way people are going to give donations are if they get something in return.

At the reenactment, Taylor and Anna-Kat are in for a rude awakening when they're told that due to historical accuracy, they can only play nurses stuck in the medical tent. Although Anna-Kat makes the best of it and enjoys "amputating a ton of legs," ("Sometimes I accidentally took the wrong one just so I could do two!") Taylor is less then thrilled to be stuck away from the action.

On the auction front, Katie tries to bargain Doris's $20,000 sofa with her name embroidered in gold in exchange for Nancy Granville's (owner of the ski place) donation. Unsurprisingly, this doesn't go. However, Oliver and Cooper-the-Terrible walk up about then, and Katie gets a new strategy.

Cooper's perpetually absent parents are willing to host a table at the auction, and it turns out most people will do just about anything to get a seat next to the Bradfords. So, Katie and Oliver (much to Greg's dismay) team up to convince Westport's richest families to donate in order to sit at the Bradford table.

Back at the reenactment, Taylor and Anna-Kat stand to the side while the men battle (which apparently means they make "bang" noises and someone puts a sticker on you to signify you've been shot). Taylor takes matter into her own hands by refusing to go down when she's hit. There's absolutely nothing historically accurate about "bang noises" and stickers, so why in the world is it such a sin to let the women play soldiers? Greg, who's gone along with the whole set-up until now, finally stands up for Taylor, helping her start a mini-revolution of her own, and "learning" her about history in the process.

Katie is pulling in plenty of donations when she gets some bad news from Oliver. Cooper Bradford's been suspended and might soon be expelled for paying all the smart kids to flunk their math test to lower the curb. With Cooper suspended, the Bradfords obviously won't be hosting a table at the gala, so Katie sets out on a mission to convince the principal to un-suspend him.

The principal insists Cooper needs to be punished (which Katie can't disagree with. She hates the kid.). However, there's one last bargaining chip for her to use - Doris's $20,000 couch. It just so happens the principal's cat's name is Doris.

Finally, with the gala safe and Cooper un-suspended (but still very terrible), Katie realizes she's going to have to teach the kid a lesson in the absence of the school punishment (and his parents). To remedy this, she grounds him. Except, grounding him to his own house is the equivalent of grounding him to a palace. So, as much as she doesn't want to, Katie instead grounds him to their house, ensuring he gets an introduction into the world of normal people.

Random Thoughts:
-Katie chasing Nancy Granville's car down the street was hilarious.

-As much as I dislike Oliver, I HATE Cooper Bradford. How do you not know how washing a car works?

-"Floridaness" Really, Oliver?

-Best quote goes to Anna-Kat. "I'm a poor Massachusetts housewife, who after witnessing the horrors of war, has developed a morphine habit to deaden the pain."

Do you think Katie will be able to pull off the gala? Were you surprised to see Taylor take a stand? Let me know below!