A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. Since there hasn’t been a lot of TV in the last few weeks, here’s our favorite quotes for the month so far. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Josh: “Wait. You don’t think my grandparents’ summer house in Savannah, Georgia was built by slaves, do you? It’s so beautiful. There’s this big house and then there’s all these little play houses out back -- ohhhh. Oh, no.” (Kristie)
Criminal Minds:
1. Spencer: “Are you worried?” Prentiss: “About what?” Spencer: “About me being in the field, that I might freak out, overreact?” Prentiss: “Why would you even…” Spencer: “Because I wanted to kill Scratch.” Prentiss: “Standing room only on that bus.” Spencer: “No, I mean it literally. After what he did to you, if I had found him, I would have killed him. And I would have slept well.” Prentiss: “The review board asked me to weigh in before they made their decision, and I told them that you are rock solid.” Spencer: “Thank you for putting yourself out on a limb for me.” Prentiss: “I know you, Spencer. The limb isn't going to break.” (Samantha and Dahne)
HTGAWM:
1. Jasmine: “You want to save me? Go back to when I was 13 and my daddy sold my a** to a crew for a couple of bags of smack. You know what they do to the new girl? Strip you naked and take turns. They call it wolf packing because then you are so broken, they can work you full time - in vans and basements. And the only way to get through it is shoot up and get numb. And who do you think takes the heat? So you plead out and you do your time only to get back out, sell you body again for more drugs, get arrested again, plead out again...until you have spent your whole life in a cell. And here you come, thinking you can save me. Guard, get me the hell out of here.”
2. Connor: “I was there, Laurel. I saw him dead and you could have died too. And then I lied to your face all that time. I hate myself more than you could ever hate me if that makes you feel any better.” Laurel: “It doesn’t.” Connor: “What can I do to make it better?” Laurel: “You can’t. None of us can, He’s gone and it’s not your fault so stop hating yourself.” Connor; “I can’t.” Laurel: “Fine, but you owe me and you have to do what I say so at least try.”
3. Annalise: “No, what makes me uncomfortable is you telling me that what I want to discuss in here is wrong. I mean I’m here, showed up on time, and all you’ve done is make me feel more screwed up than I already am. I don’t know you. You don’t know me, no matter what you read about me, so why not give me the damn time to feel comfortable before telling me all the horrible details of my life.”
NCIS: LA:
1. Sam: “If something happened to this team and I wasn’t there to do everything I could, I don‘t think I could live with that….even if it was just Deeks.” (Dahne)
2. Callen: “Nice work guys but it looks like we’re gonna have to go with Plan B.” Mosley: “Okay, what’s Plan B?” Callen: “B stands for We Better Come Up with Something Fast.” (Dahne)
3. Deeks to Callen: “Ohh...and just like that, Dad ruins the party.” (Dahne)
Rick And Morty:
1. Secretary of the Interior to the President: “I don't think you've ever understood what "Secretary of the Interior" means.” (Milo)
Speechless:
1. Kenneth: “Ms. Emma Watson work out sweaty.” Jay: “Did you found anything?” (Marko)
2. Ms Moreno: “Oh, hi, Kenneth. And you must be JJ.” Kenneth: “Well, um, Ms. Moreno, we're gonna start a year in your class, but I need you to know something. I have feelings for you Big, bold, Technicolor feelings. I'm ready to be with someone special” Ms Moreno: “Kenneth, I am so flattered. But I don't feel that way about you. I just don't. I'm sorry.” Kenneth: “Oh. You what, you thought that was me? No, that that was JJ. I was reading for him. You know, that's how this works.You'll get used to it. Oh, JJ. Oh, baby. Oh! It takes guts, but you gonna be alright, dawg, okay? You'll find that special lady.” (Samantha)
Star Trek Discovery:
1. Saru to Michael: “You were always a good officer...until you weren’t.” (Milo)
This Is Us:
1. Toby: “Between you and me, I think that she is super sensitive around you. And, obviously, I don't know the whole history, but as much as I want you to like me, you need to know that I am Team Kate for life. Like, that's the deal here. So I can't have you putting me in a position where I bring you to a show that she doesn't want you at, and you can't ask me to side with you, okay? Because Team Kate. Forever. That's how this works.” Rebecca: “Got it. Okay.” Toby: “Shall we commence the awkward car ride home?” (Kristie)
Will & Grace:
1. Bridget: “Even a small raise would make us feel valued, and give us a shred of dignity.” Karen: “Let me think on it. (mutters) Have a bill, trade a fish, Cayman Islands, take a plane, that'd cost, Switzerland, carry the four, write it off, I'm still rich. Deal. You tell Rosario that you and the staff can have your raise.” Bridget: “Thank you, Mum” Karen: “Everyone deserves a little dignity. On your way down, there's some dried puke in the library. And find out who's been reading.” (Kristie)
2. Jack: “I think I'm going into renal failure. I just sneezed and some pee came out of my nose.” (Marko)
3. Will: “He doesn't like Madonna.” Jack: “He should be beaten with a VHS copy of Evita.” (Marko)
4. Will: “You guys can't forget the struggle that came before you, the people that fought for you, loved and died so you could walk down the streets in skinny jeans with rights you never knew you never had. The minute we forget what we went through to get here is the minute it can all be taken away. And that will be the NIGHT WHEN LIGHTS WENT OUT IN GEORGIA.” (Marko)
5. Grace: “I love you, Karen Walker.” Karen: “Right back at you, Grace Adler.” Computer: “Shower off.” Grace: “Wait a second! ‘Grace Adler’ is your safe word? My name is your sexual buzzkill?” Karen: (Dunks Grace's head underwater) “It's better this way.” (Samantha)