A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. Since there hasn’t been a lot of TV in the last few weeks, here’s our favorite quotes for the month so far. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
Josh: “I can juggle some stuff around.” Ian: “Not in those shorts, you can’t.”
Josh: “You sold me out for Peking duck?” Harry: “Yes.”
Harry to his wife: “I didn’t say anything because I’m deeply afraid of you.”
1. Kai: “The crown is heavy, Winter. I'm making hard choices everyday. Even harder ones going forward. This thing we're putting together, it's real. And it's gonna change the world. But I can't do it alone. Followers are followers, I tell them what they want to hear and they will obey me. You and me are family, though. That matters. I need to know I can count on you, Winter. Can I count on you?” Winter: “Of course. What the hell, Kai.” (DarkUFO)
2. Bebe: “Haven't you been listening, ingrate? That was Valerie's plan all along. We were the Zodiac.” (DarkUFO)
3. Kai: “Holy sh**. I just got a retweet from Eric Trump!” (DarkUFO)
4. Valerie: “You lost it because you can't stand to see a woman succeed.” Andy Warhol: “Oh, Valerie. You know women can't be serious artists.” (DarkUFO)
1. Sheldon: “You’re a good teacher. Your son is going to be lucky to have you as a father.”
2. Howard: “Sheldon, what am I going to do? What do I know about raising a boy?” Sheldon: “What do you know know about raising a girl?”
3. Howard: “Now you’re gonna want to slowly switch lanes.” Sheldon: “Why?” Howard: “Because there are only two and you’re not in either of them.”
1. Patricia: “Are we good?” Dalton: “Well, that depends. How’s your 100-yard dash time?” Patricia: “Better when my life depends on it.”
2. Patricia: “You like martyrs? You’re gonna die looking up at this one. Three hours ago I stood on the spot where one of your friends killed my son. If you do not help me save other mothers that pain, I will gladly die here with you, or you can stop the cycle of violence and I will save you. It’s your call.”
3. Preach: “Status is whole, healthy, and delivered like a sinner on Sunday.” Noah: “That’s good to hear.” Hannah: “Man, you should wear suits more often.”
1. Amaya: “The thing about common sense, it’s not really very common. So when you hear it, when someone shares it with you, you can’t help but be very grateful.”
2. Bull: “You need me to win this case.” Getman: “I beg to differ, Doc, and frankly, what I don’t need is you acting like the rash egomaniac that the prosecution is gonna paint you to be. And that’s exactly what you’re doing right now. You want to win, sit back, trust your team, and do what I say or else fire me and God bless. It’s up to you.”
3. Bull: “Well it just goes to show you, the older I get, the dumber I get. I was right about you in college. You are a force of nature, sir, and you’re really great at what you do. I owe you a million thanks and a million apologies.” Getman: “Oh truthfully, the only thing you owe me is money. I’m happy for you, Jason. You built something you could be proud of. People shouldn’t be allowed to take it away from you just because things didn’t work out the way they wanted.”
1. Jessica: “Did it sound dumb? I’ve only had half a beer but the voice in my head that criticizes me constantly has gone quiet.”
2. Honey: “I say this with love but please never interfere in our lives again.” Jessica: “I say with love. No promises.”
3. Honey: “I am nervous too. I never thought I wanted kids...like ever, but then I met you and that changed. Look, you may not be sure you’re ready but together we’re ready.”
1. Hargrove: “I don’t care about my reputation. I just want my kids.” Annalise: “Then fight for them. The same way you fought your way off the bathroom floor. The hell with him.” Hargrove: “Let’s kick him where it hurts.”
2. Nate: “As your sober buddy, you gotta drop this.” Bonnie: “I’m doing my job.” Nate: “No, you’re back on the crack and it’s called Annalise.”
3. Annalise: “It feels like all I do now is work at not drinking.” Hargrove: “No one told me it would cost this much. Business school, the kids, running a company...all I did was push. Of course I wanted a drink at the end of a 14-hour day.” Annalise: “I’ve been there. No one pushed harder than me. Now I’m broke, alone, got to beg you for work.” Hargrove: “If I’m going to go down, I want to go down drinking.” Annalise: “I’ll be right there with you.”
1. Angel: “The universe doesn’t care about happy endings.” Kevin: “Well, I do.”
2. Amy: “Well, the thing is, um...he called me before he did it. He called me and I saw his number on the phone and I...uh, I didn’t answer.” Nate: “Amy?” Amy: “I was mad at him. Kevin only ever called if he needed something and he did need something - me. And I wasn’t there for him.” Nate: “I haven’t been spying on your brother, but from what I can see, he’s trying to move on. You should too.”
3. Angel: “We had to see where the balloon led you.” Kevin: “Well, tada...it lead to therapy.”
1. Stein - "I refuse to set foot on the Titanic. Whoever built that ship should be shot." (Donna) ~Spoken by Victor Garber as Stein, who in James Cameron’s 1998 film, Titanic, played Titanic shipbuilder and designer, Thomas Andrews, who went down with his ship.
1. Santos: “These lunatics are going to bring the wall down and nobody’s gonna get out alive, but you want to stay. Why? Avery: “They’re my lunatics.”
2. Roger: “And hey, thinking about running doesn’t make you a bad father. Actually doing it...well, there’s not enough diamonds in the world.”
3. Roger: “You pack light? Riggs, you’ve got more baggage than anyone I know.”
1. Jack: “I’m doing my job, Mac. I’m your bodyguard. Don’t you get that?” Mac: “Not when we’re off the clock, you’re not.” Jack: “Yeah, yeah, even when we’re off the clock. You know why? Because we’re never off the clock, man.”
2. Jack: “You know if something would have happened to you on your little field trip here, and you go and get yourself killed…” Mac: “Then it would have been my problem, not yours.” Jack: “Your problems are my problems.”
3. Mac: “This whole search for my dad, it’s...it’s rough to say the least.” Jack: “Oh, I know it is.” Mac: “I mean every step I take I keep finding myself wondering if..if he even wants to be found, if he even wants me in his life?” Jack: “Look, I didn’t know your dad but I know this world’s a lot cooler place with you in it. And if I’ve got to do a little helicopter parenting here and there to keep it that way, that’s what I’m going to do. You’re just going to have to deal with it. That’s the way families work, capiche?” Mac: “Capiche.”
1. Alex: “You took me to a midnight screening of Rocky Horror when I was 9.” Mom: “Yeah, well in hindsight, letting scantily clad men and women yell ‘virgin’ at you was a poor parenting decision.”
2. Alex: “I don’t get it. Why’d you take the blame for me?” Ron: “I’m new at this too.”
3. Alex: “Ron is a Lakers fan. His judgment cannot be trusted.”
Sam: “This place doesn’t scream international spy.” Callen: “Yeah but what house ever does?” Sam: “Yours.”
1. Sly: “Death omelette. Make sure to wash your hands.”
2. Soldier: “He’s really our best hope?”
3. Happy: “I want a baby..soon. You were right. I want a family. I’ve always wanted a family, and I want one with you ‘cause I love you.”
1. Ander: “I won’t spend the rest of my life in a loveless marriage. Not for anything.” Catania: “This is about the survival of the elves. Your father, your brother, Amberle, they all gave their lives so that we could build a better world. It’s time we start doing that.”
2. Eretria: “She forgot to mention a lot of things.”
3. Wil: “I was finding it hard to believe that Allanon could have a daughter, but you are sounding more like him by the minute.”
1. Alex, after Kara tells her not to worry: “You fight the most dangerous and evil people on the planet, so I’m kinda always gonna worry.” (Donna)
2. Kara: “She makes her way into my mind and forces me to relive the scariest moment of my life. It’s...it’s torture. How am I supposed to deal with that?” Alex: “Well, by remembering that your fears don’t define you. Who you are is Supergirl. Who you are is Kara. That’s what defines you. And she’s got nothing on that.” (Donna)
3. Kara: “My life as Supergirl is the one thing I can count on. I can go out there and help people. I can make a difference in the world. I can feel strong even though a huge part of me feels so weak. And she’s taking that away from me, and if I don’t have Supergirl, what do I have?” Alex: “You got me.” (Donna)
~~~This beautiful scene between Chyler Leigh and Melissa Benoist reaffirms that the bond between the Danvers sisters is the heart and core of the show.
1. Byrd: “Put him on the list, and remember they’re guilty...all of them.” Jane: “I’m beginning to understand the three ex-wives.”
2. Byrd: “I don’t work for you. I work for your daughter.”
3. Ali: “No, listen, you are not a cruel person. You are a powerful person, and some people...they get confused by that.”
1. Grace: “My marriage died but the rest of me didn’t.”
2. Will: “So what exactly are we supposed to do? As a sperm donor, the law doesn’t recognize you as a relative, just as someone who made a little money doing what he would normally do for free.” Jack: “Are you suggesting that we make a life-sized dummy using pillows and overalls and leave it in Skip’s place while we take him away?” Will: “Oh my God, it’s as if you can read the minds of other idiots. No, we can’t kidnap him. We need a plan.”
3. Jack: “When you get older, you’ll understand that there’s the family you were born into and the family that you choose. And the family I chose, well, it doesn’t get any better than that.”
1. Ruiz: “You do know your job is to take care of the cases on your desk, right?” Cavanaugh: “My job, lieutenant, is to solve crimes.”
2. Cavanaugh: “So what now? You guys are just going to insert yourself into any open case you see fit?”
3. Cavanaugh: “If a low-grade banger can find this guy, so can we.”
