We finally got our boat heist, and it was nothing like I expected! In a good way. I need this season to end soon, though so I can stop feeling like a horrible person. In the past 3 months I have actively rooted for a church robbery AND a wedding robbery to be successful. When I heard Nicky would be involved in the boat heist, I legitimately wanted someone to lock her up somewhere for a bit so she wouldn't ruin this felony. That year between seasons is the perfect amount of time to cleanse my soul, so I'm really looking forward to that after we finish up these last three episodes. But let's talk a little bit more about what we've witnessed this week.
Keys to the Kingdom
Our most notable recent event was the theft of Smurf's safes from her storage unit. This theft was perpetrated by the one and only Baz, who enlisted J's help. Of course, J had absolutely no idea he was helping Baz steal from Smurf or he probably wouldn't have done it. Smurf discovered the theft while heading to "deposit" the rest of her money that she got back from Jake. She was obviously pretty peeved when she opened the door to find it empty.
When Baz dropped out of the yacht job, Craig and Deran made the
Though not terribly relevant this week, Pope spend some time dealing with his inner demons regarding Catherine's murder. He has strong urges to confess, but he finds some comfort with Amy.
This Week's Prey
As J prepares for the big day ahead of him, he is greeted by Smurf, who is on his bed drinking. She starts telling him what a forgiving person she can be when people make mistakes, as long as they tell her about them. Picking up on her not very subtle accusations that he's done something wrong, he tries to figure out what it could be. Smurf says that her storage unit has been cleaned out, and you see an extremely fast moment of understanding on J's face as he realizes what he's done. He assures her that he didn't tell anyone about her storage unit, and that he didn't even know which one was hers. Technically he is not lying about anything, so nice play on his part. He asks her about getting security cam footage, but she points out that she would need to file a police report for that, and we all know that the money in that storage unit was 100% illegal. She walks away from the conversation with an unconvinced "Okay, J" and gets ready to conduct her own investigation. All this time, Baz is continuing to pop open his newly acquired safes and empty them of their contents.
Craig and Nicky have already started their day and are renting a boat for Nicky with an ID that clearly belongs to neither of them. The boy behind the counter is very easily intimidated, though, and lets it slide. Thankfully, Nicky's job is fairly passive, and all she has to do is drive her boat out and strand herself so the Coast Guard can take care of her as a distraction. As they leave the rental store, Craig runs into Renn. You may remember her as the girl Craig dated and got drugs from in the first season. You know, the one that OD'd, and when Craig found her he just stole some stuff and left her there. (You may also recognize her as Grace from Blood Drive if you're watching that for some reason like I am.) Craig just to brush right by her, but Renn quickly calls him out. They exchange some words, including Renn telling Nicky that she should watch out, and that he isn't worth it in the end.
Following in Ren, Pope, and J's footsteps, Smurf also has a confrontation of sorts. Really, it's more like mild torture, but we'll go with confrontation for now. She uses a cattle prod to get some information out of a worker at the Storage unit, and learns that Baz paid the man to find out which unit was hers. She holds up a picture of J and asks if he was around too, but the man assures her he has never seen J. That's good for J! She gives the man one last prod, then returns to her car, where Lena has been patiently waiting, totally unaware of what her grandmother was doing a few feet away. This poor little girl. When they get home, Smurf makes Lena a snack and then gets a text from Baz saying he won't be able to pick up Lena and that Smurf should take her to Allison's. She immediately calls him and tells his voicemail that he needs to start taking responsibilities and that she can't handle this on her own. Which she shouldn't have to anyways because it's his freaking kid! Smurf tells Lena that Baz isn't coming, and she is once again disappointed by the absence of her father.
To make matters worse, Baz isn't even busy, he just needed Smurf out of the house so he could steal her fridge gun from the garage. After retrieving the gun, he heads out into the middle of nowhere and starts digging. Not knowing exactly what he was doing, I was convince he had stumbled upon Catherine's body when he found the hand and I didn't know how to handle life for a little bit there. It was Javi's body, however, which is exactly what Baz was looking for. He took out Smurf's gun, delivered a shot to the back of the head, and threw the gun in the hole to bury it with the body. What a wonderful way to frame a person. I'm pretty positive an autopsy will determine this second shot was delivered post mortem, and also that he was shot with two different guns, but let's just let Baz have his fun for now and see where it goes. He later takes Lucy to a house that they now own and shows her the suitcases full of money he's hidden in the walls.
After a quick meeting to review the plan, everyone heads out to step into their pirate shoes. While Craig handles the wedding party on the yacht and gets things set up, Nicky strands herself in the middle of the ocean. Nicky then begins to rehearse how she's going tell the Coast Guard that she needs help, working very hard on different inflections. At this point, I became certain that she was going to mess everything up, but I was utterly shocked to discover that she didn't. I'm so happy they gave her a semi-useless job. As the wedding activities continue (which apparently includes safety pinning hundreds of dollars to the bride's dress), The Codys and Marco make it to the yacht. Once on board, J gathers the kitchen staff into a room, while Pope takes care of the captain and co-captain and brings Dana along as a hostage. Once they all make it into the party, Craig plays his part and pretends to be the hero, only to get knocked in the face by Pope and kicked by Marco three times. The boys then go around and have people put their money and belongings into some bags. Things go almost perfectly, until a woman refuses to give up a ring that's very important to her. It's ok, though, Marco has a great solution: cut off the finger! Perfect plan, right? Shortly after the boys take their stolen goods and jet ski out of there. They did it! When they make it back to shore, Marco is ready to count the money and doesn't understand why they have to let Craig count it. Pope then tries to beat him up for the finger fiasco, but J breaks it up and Deran tells Marco he needs to leave.
That night, J brings his backpack full of stolen jewelry to Smurf so she can start cleaning it. He spreads it all out on the counter in front of her, and he snaps a quick picture of it all while she's turned away so they'll know if she steals any of it. He then heads to visit his old neighbor with some groceries, and she insists that he stay for dinner. While she starts preparing, he heads to the bathroom where we learn a fun secret about J. He's clearly been visiting on a regular basis as he has a stockpile of money and a gun under a panel in her bathroom cabinet. He adds to this a small bag of newly acquired jewelry that just so happened to not make it into the picture of things he gave to Smurf. Maybe he's saving up to get away from it all? That sounds like a good plan. Do it J! Get out of there!
The boys all meet up at Deran's bar to celebrate their success, but they each have their own ways of celebrating. Pope heads out quickly to go spend his evening with Amy. Before entering, he has a quick flashback to Catherine's murder, and he 100% looks like he hates himself once he's inside the apartment. I was sure he was going to confess something, but he then said he didn't want to talk and Amy comforted him like the great person she is. Deran decides to find himself a booty call for his celebration and they head into the back room for some fun. Nicky and J get quite drunk and end up playing games and flirting with each other. Craig sees this and gives a slight smile before leaving. What he doesn't see is Nicky throwing up on the way to bathroom because of course she drank too much. While J goes to grab paper towels from the back, he walks in on Deran and hookup guy, much like he did with Deran and Adrian in the first season. This time will be different though, which we know because Craig says, "I'm not gonna drown you or anything." What a fond memory. Craig's journey leads him to bring some drugs to Renn in first attempts to make amends with her. He apologizes and proposes that they take a trip to Vegas together. If she's anything like her Blood Drive character, I highly recommend that Craig brings his car because hers just might eat him.
Baz and Lucy lock up their new money house and get in the car for a fun conversation. Baz has been thinking about getting out of the business and moving down to Mexico to move in with Lucy and her brother. Sadly, she actually has to ask if Lena comes to because for some reason that's not a given. Lena's whole situation angers me to my core. Lucy asks "What about Smurf?" but Baz assures her that she is not a problem anymore, and all he has to do is flip a switch. We then watch ominously as Smurf stands out by her pool and looks around.
Animal Instincts
I'm so happy we got to see another heist this season. Watching them all work together is always so much fun, especially when it goes their way. I can't explain the depth of my relief over the fact that Nicky didn't mess everything up. I also loved learning about J's secret stash! It shows that he has some sort of plan in his mind, and that all this isn't about just trying to fit in with his family. I really hope he's planning to do good things with his dirty money.
All the confrontations we got to see this episode made me happy as well, but I'm still eagerly awaiting the Baz/Pope confrontation that's bound happen. I'm sure Baz will be quite angry, but at this point I think he'll just be mad that he couldn't pawn Lena off on Catherine and run away with Lucy without ever looking back. It feels like he treats his daughter like a chore, and not like a living human who needs love. But, I also can't wait to see exactly what Baz's plans for Smurf entail, and when he'll be ready to put them into motion. We've got an exciting final three episodes ahead of us!
Favorite Sights
"Forgot how I look when I'm not OD-ing?" -Renn
The Finger Fiasco
J's secret stash
Deran's drowning attempt reference
With the boat heist done, it's time to sit back and watch the fallout of that, and of everything else that's happened so far. There's an entire shelf full of cans of worms and I just can't wait for them to be opened! Were you guys excited about the heist? Did anybody place bets on Nicky screwing up? Does anyone else actually watch Blood Drive? Sound off in the comments below!
