A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Coulson: "If history's taught me anything, it's that good intentions don't come to anything unless there's a steady hand to guide them." (Milo)
1. Elizabeth: "And then a 45-year-old logistics manager kicks you out of bed." Philip: "We're not all as attractive as you, Elizabeth." Elizabeth: "But you are." (DarthLocke)
2. Philip: "Back when Gabriel was shooting people at home, what do you think she was doing?" (DarthLocke)
3. Elizabeth: "Wouldn't it be a nice world if no one had to do this?" (DarthLocke)
1. Norman: "This is how it ends, isn't it?" (DarkUFO)
2. Dylan: "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a d***. I just had a real bad day." (DarkUFO)
3. Romero : "You killed your mother. You're going to have to live with that." (DarkUFO)
1. Jimmy: "Here's what's gonna happen. One day you're gonna get sick, again. And one of your employees is gonna find you, curled up in that space blanket-take you to the hospital. Hook you up to those machines that beep and whir and hurt. And this time it will be too much, and you will die there. Alone." (Milo)
1. Jim: "I don't need alcohol to make it through the day. (drinks glass of water) Oh, that is awful. Oh my god, 70% of the Earth is made up of that sh**? How do the fish do it?" Jules: "Something interesting." Jim: "Cedar is an interesting wood. It naturally grabs odour." (Bradley)
2. Johnny the Hat: "Johnny always wore his hat, 'cause it was the last thing his kids got for him. Johnny always wore his hat 'cause his kids got it for him on the last Father's Day he ever saw them. It was used, probably left in the couch cushions by one of his wife's sex boyfriends." Jim: "Alright, Johnny the Hat, please. Giving introspective monologues in the third person, that's my thing. Sitting sadly alone over there, that's yours." Johnny the Hat: "I don't like my thing. I would like a new thing." (Bradley)
1. Speaker Hookstraten to President Kirkman after he thanks her for her help in passing gun bill: "I have sharp elbows when I'm fighting for something I believe in." (Donna)
1. Sutcliffe: "I help move this country forward. I move this Empire forward." The Doctor: "Human progress isn’t measured by industry. It’s measured by the value you place on a life, an unimportant life, a life without privilege. The boy who died on the river, that boy’s value is your value. That’s what defines an age, that’s…what defines a species." Sutcliffe: "What a beautiful speech. The rhythm and vocabulary, quite outstanding. It’s enough to move anyone with an ounce of compassion……so it’s really not your day, is it?" (Milo)
1. VM Varga: "Did I tell you what I like about this place? Minnesota. It's so perfectly, sublimely bland, isn't it?" (DarkUFO)
2. Emmit: "We should drive over there, take a look." Sy: "Or — and this is the other way to go — not." (DarkUFO)
3. Nikki: "Besides, you said yourself, he messed up, your man. Killed some random geriatric in the sticks who happened to have the surname, so even if they wanted to solve it, the police, what possible solve is there besides unfathomable pinheadery?" (DarkUFO)
4. Emmit: "You think maybe it's...I don't even want to say it out loud." Sy: "Slave girls?" Emmit: "What?! No! I was gonna say drugs! You think it's slave girls?!" Sy: "...no." (DarthLocke)
5. Gloria: "I'm here, right? You see me?" Donny: "Is that a trick question?" (DarthLocke)
6. Nikki: "We're never gonna land Burt Lurdsman with your chi all blocked up like this." Ray: "Well, okay, how do I unblock it?" Nikki: "We gotta find some sort of psychic Drano, or…you know what it is, don't you?" Ray: "The blockage?" Nikki: "It's your stupid brother. The history between you two and how it made you go crazy, and hire a doofus to break into his house." (DarthLocke)
1. Bette, when the doctor says to give up smoking: "I gave up booze. I can't give up cigarettes; they're my only friends."" (Donna)
1. Doc Cloud: "Maybe you're not a good man. Maybe there are no good men. I've seen a lot of bad ones. Trust me son, you ain't that bad." (DarthLocke)
2. Lydia: "Now look at you, lord of nothing." Quinn: "And yet you came back to me." Lydia: "Only to put a dagger through your heart." Quinn: "Then do it. Ryder hesitated when I gave him the chance. This is why I loved you first. You were never afraid to take what you want."
3. Waldo: "Tilda, Widow's looking for you." Tilda: "Waldo, wait up. Back there with Odessa, it's--" Waldo: "Cut the **it. Look, I don't care who you with, but don't you forget what I told you about Sunny. Don't you let some crush cloud your good judgment, because that kind of thing can get you killed. And I was just starting to like you. Almost." (DarthLocke)
1. Nora: "Well, do you know what I wish? I wish you'd never left her for me." Tom: "I didn't leave Lily for you, Nora. I left her for my dad. I didn't even know you existed." (DarkUFO)
2. Mark: "Four series regulars. Three go, one stays. Do you know what the odds of that are?" Nora: "One in a hundred twenty-eight thousand." Mark: "What happened was arbitrary. It was purposeless. It wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything to deserve this. So no, Nora, I don't want to kill myself. I want to take some f*** control." (DarkUFO)
3. Kevin: "I tear it off every time. I just do it to feel, um. I don't want to die." Nora: "It's OK." Kevin: "It is?" Nora: "You don't need to explain, Kevin. Hey, look, I got a tattoo. A couple hundred more and I'll catch up with you." Kevin: "Let's have a baby." Nora: "What?" Kevin: "I want to have a baby. With you." Nora, laughing: "Hey. Are you happy?" Kevin: "Yes." Nora: "I'm happy, too. Let's not f*** that up, OK?" (DarkUFO)
4. Nora: "Matt, I can literally see the lie wheel turning in your brain." (Luarturi)
5. Nora: "If you can't have a sense of humour about you being the messiah, were gonna have a problem." (Luarturi)
6. Kevin: "Are you busting my balls?" Nora: "Can holly balls be busted?" (Luarturi)
1. Zelena to the Black Fairy: "Don't you know? Wicked always wins!" (Donna)
1. David Rosen: "There must be something wrong with me. These women I like, they are these forces of nature, tornados. Our relationships shouldn't always end in devastation…or, you know, domestic terrorism." (Luarturi)
1. Frank after Holly decides to leave: "A man that walks away from a job unfinished isn't a man worth loving." (Donna)
