Rosewood - Spirochete & Santeria - Review: “I Ain’t Got No Crystal Ball”
2.5 - “Spirochete & Santeria”
Directed by Michael Zinberg
Written By: Evan Bleiweiss
Reviewed by Kelly Anne Blount
Talk about an intense opening! Blood spatter, some type of religious altar, and a picture lit on fire. Looks like we’re going to be in for a great episode of Rosewood!
We cut over to Pippy and Rosewood, who are having lunch together and talking about Gerald. Rosie thinks Gerald is a sociopath, while Pippy thinks there must be more too it. Rosie hands her the file he has on the convicted murderer and tells her to essentially dig in. Pippy has a good head on her shoulders, hopefully she will come up with some kind of game plan or resolution.
Rosie is flirting with the cute waitress again. He reads her body and offers medical advice. She’s got some game. She tells Rosie her skill is making men feel uncomfortable. Ha ha! She’s got jokes! Rosie tries to lock down a date, but the cute waitress blows him off. Well, okay then! Get it! She’s going to make Rosie play hard to get. Loads of guys really go for that, so we’ll see if he falls for the bait.
Hey! The receptionist, Krista, is back! And what do you know, Mitchie is flirting with her. I hope Mitchie finds someone special who loves him for who he truly is, you know? Her outfit is a bit intense… Not for going out, but for working at the front desk of a medical lab. But hey, if that’s what makes her go, then more power to her!
Uh oh! A man walks into Rosie’s lab and he is in bad shape. Also, I’m pretty sure this is the guy whose picture was splattered with blood and lit on fire in the beginning of the episode. The man has a steel briefcase full of money. He tells Rosie that he needs him to do an autopsy for him. When Rosie asks who the autopsy is for, a loved one? Nope, the man says that it’s for him because in 24 hours, he’ll be dead.
SAY WHAT?
Rosie looks like he doesn’t know what the heck to say. The man says that he is being followed and he doesn’t want any police involved. The man begs for Rosie to take the money and solve his murder. He runs out the door a few minutes later.
We head over to the city morgue where Villa is flirting with Dr. Webb, the new ME (medical examiner) and boy oh boy, is he cute!
Rosie breaks up the flirt fest and slams Dr. Webb back into his place, as the new ME on the block.
Dr. Webb won’t let it go, he wants Villa’s attention like ants on sugar, and he wants to be sure to let Rosie know that he’s not impressed. After all, Dr. Webb says that even though he was born and raised in Miami, that he doesn’t know who Rosie is, let alone has he seen any of Rosie’s billboards. This guy is going to put a major road block in the Rosie and Villa romance storyline I have going on in my head.
Anyways, Rosie and Villa head back to the bullpen. Villa finds Doug Russell, the man who paid Rosie for an autopsy, on her police computer. She sees that he has a long history of filing bogus complaints about “everyone and anyone.”
He handed over 100k. Rosie believes Doug might really be in danger.
Villa and Rosie bring the case to Captain Slade, who asks Hornstock what he thinks about the scenario.
They decide it’s worth investigating, but I have a feeling it’s going to be too late. What do you think?
Villa and Rosie show up to the bakery where Doug works. Surprise, surprise, he’s not at the front counter. I wonder if he dead body is in the back?
Oh snap! Douglas is in the back and he’s dead!
*Commercial Time* So, here’s a true life story, we bought too much Halloween candy and yours truly is eating some right now. YUM! Reese’s Pieces are so darn good! What’s your favorite type of candy? Okay, back to the show!
Rosie is talking to Douglas’ sister. Turns out baking was his passion, but he made loads of money selling a tracking app to large company two years ago.
Being the gentleman that he is, Rosie gives the money back to Douglas’ sister. She shares a sweet story with Rosie and tells him that Douglas was the best big brother ever. She said she isn’t sure what happened. She also tells Rosie that her happy go lucky brother changed and turned into a neurotic man.
Rosie and Mitchie get to work on the body. They find something on Douglas’ face, near his ear. Mitchie is going to run some tests.
Adrian a.k.a. Dr. Webb stops by the lab, surprise, surprise. Rosie calls him out, he knows that Adrian just wants to hang out with Villa.
Mitchie figures out that the substance on Douglas is sage. Interesting.
Ohhh! Now guess who’s at the door of Magic City Labs? Tonya the waitress. Rosie looks like a little kid on Christmas Day surrounded by loads of presents.
Ooooh! Tonya agrees to a date with Rosie on Friday. Things are going to get interesting, but I still think Rosie and Villa will fall in love and have cute little babies together one day. Don’t you?
Villa and Rosie are talking to the victim’s ex-wife. Turns out they both practice Santeria. Side note: Just typing that word makes me think of that song by Sublime where they sing, “I don’t practice Santeria, I ain’t got no crystal ball.” Anyone else?
Anyways, the ex-wife drops a major bomb. She says that she killed her ex-husband. She says this in the same tone and manner as you would say, “I like apples.” Something fishy is up!
Hornstock, Villa, and Rosie are trying to figure out exactly what is going on with the victim’s ex-wife, who thinks she cast a spell on Douglas that killed him.
Hornstock wants a crack at the woman. Villa deducts that he is just trying to get away from Captain Slade, who apparently is getting Hornstock’s approval from everything that happens in the bullpen to his lunch order. Rosie’s got jokes about Ira’s choice in food. Rosie is so funny. The writers on this show just slay it every week!
Slade stops into the interrogation room to watch Hornstock from behind the glass. Not going to lie, he is acting like his is on some kind of crazy drug.
Any who, Douglas left all of his money to his ex-wife, not just some money, but millions.
Oh man, Slade heads into the interrogation room to join Hornstock. The wife is sticking to her story. She cast a spell on her husband and killed him.
Slade and Hornstock are surprisingly amazing together. They handle the interrogation like champs. Interesting! I wonder if the wife either made all of the complaints on behalf of Douglas or encouraged him to make the complaints?
Mitchie and Rosie are back in the lab, they are trying to figure out what happened to Douglas. Looks like the victim was hit by a car. The license plate left indents and scratches on the back of the victim’s knee. He also had car paint under his finger nails.
Somehow, Villa has already come to this conclusion and she even knows the car belongs to a Nick Holmes. Dang, Villa is always on it. Any who, Villa goes to visit the owner of the car responsible for hitting the victim. He runs. Running never looks good. Ha ha ha! He runs to his car and tries to take off, but guess what? The car doesn’t start and Rosie is in the backseat waiting for him. Whammy!
Nick Holmes says that Douglas went crazy and used to scream at his customers. So, Nick Holmes admits to pinning Doug between the car he was driving and his own car. When Nick pinned Doug, he caused a blood clot to form in his leg and that blood clot travelled to his lung, killing him.
Doug’s ex-wife and Nick Holmes give each other a strange look as Nick is going in to the holding cell and the ex-wife is leaving.
Rosie talks to Doug’s sister again. He asked if she thought her brother’s involvement in Santeria is what changed him. She says that he always loved Santeria, even as a child. She said it was something else that caused the change, but she doesn’t know what and she doesn’t think she will ever know.
Rosie said that he was wrong. Something inside of Doug changed, like possibly that he was infected with Lyme’s disease. Rosie think she might have been purposefully infected with the disease by someone else. Let me tell you something, I was bitten by a tick and got Lyme’s disease a few years ago. It really does suck! My symptoms were bad news bears, but they don’t even hold a candle to what can happen! Basically Lyme’s Disease is LAME with a capital L!
Anyways, Hornstock and Villa are on their way to do some investigating, you know, like good detectives do. Turns out Hornstock and Villa’s mother are still dating. That’s sweet. I wonder when we’ll see her again?
Ah, they are at the ex-wife’s place of worship. I’m not sure what you call a place of worship where the religion is Santeria? A temple? Church? I’ll Google that in just a bit…
The ex-wife looks awfully cozy with Hunter the butcher who conveniently has a shop right next to Doug’s bakery.
Even more interesting! The butcher and the ex-wife are engaged!
Rosie and Pippy are waiting for Donna Rosewood. Pippy said that she has checked over everything that everyone has gathered on Gerald’s case. But, before she can get any further, Donna apologizes. But it’s not what it sounds like, Donna still thinks Gerald is innocent and she tears her children both a new one. That. Was. Awkward.
Villa and Hornstock are back at work. She tells him that Rosie thinks someone was poisoning Doug and months before he died. Villa thinks he might have been poisoned with Oleander. Isn’t that a movie with Tom Cruise? Anyways, guess who had vials of oleander? Jillian, Doug’s ex-wife. Villa is on it!
Pippy, Mitchie, and Rosie pull spinal fluid from the body. What will it show?
Rosie doesn’t even the results. He says that he knows that Doug was poisoned and he knows who did it.
Meanwhile, Hornstock brings Captain Slade an envelope that was delivered to the station earlier. Slade’s father passed away. Hornstock puts two and two together. This is the reason Slade has been acting so strange at work. Ira thinks Slade is working on his father’s eulogy. He tries to comfort Slade, but Slade doesn’t want anything to do with Hornstock’s kind words. That’s sad.
Rosie and Villa are at a Santeria religious ceremony while Pippy goes to meet Gerald face to face. Pippy wants Gerald to tell her exactly what he told Mrs. Rosewood. Pippy says that she is either going to side with her brother or her mother. Either way, she needs to hear it directly from Gerald. Talk about intense!
Back at the ceremony, Doug’s ex-wife and her new love interest are leading a large group of people, but leading them to what? They call out their “uninvited guests,” a.k.a. Rosie and Villa. The group of people are closing in on Rosie and Villa, so you know, Villa pulls her gun out.
Rosie said that Doug was infected during a blood sacrifice. Turns out he was infected with Mad Cow Disease. EEK! Someone at the ceremony poisoned Doug and that someone was HUNTER THE BUTCHER!
Hunter calls Santeria “mumbo gumbo,” just before Villa slaps on the cuffs and takes him away. Turns out Hunter wanted all of Doug’s money and he did that by killing him and making Doug’s ex-wife fall in love with him. What a sleaze ball!
Uh oh, Pippy, Rosie, and Donna are all sitting down again. She tells them that she went to talk to Gerald, face to face, and long story short, she believes Gerald. She says that she felt his innocence.
Captain Slade apologizes to Hornstock for earlier and for constantly busting his balls. He said that he has a hard time connecting with people. He also admits that he hasn’t seen his father in over thirty years and that he didn’t even come back when his mother gave him up. Ah, that’s where the boy’s home comes into play! Slade isn’t sure what to say in a eulogy about someone he doesn’t even know. He says that all he got from his father was his bank account. Aw, that’s really sad. Poor, Slade!
Rosie is on a fancy date with Tonya. She admits that she has a daughter. She is quick to tell Rosie that it’s okay, and that she understands, she’ll pay for dinner and that basically they don’t ever have to see each other again. Aw, Rosie grabs her hand and asks what her daughter’s name is… Now that’s some sweetness right there!
Villa goes to visit Dr. Webb in the morgue. They are totally having a moment and he invites her to go salsa dancing. Dr. Webb asks if Villa and Rosewood have anything going on. Villa says that they are just really good friends.
Whoa! That was fast! The last scene of the episode shows Rosie and Tonya together in bed, smiling and kissing. Looks like their relationship is on the fast track!
My Thoughts:
Another good episode in the books!
The ending had a really good twist and I did not see that Mad Cow Disease coming! How about you?
Even though I’m always going to be Team #Villie a.k.a Villa + Rosie, I’m okay with their current relationships. So, even though I was pretty shocked by that last scene. Rosie and Tonya both look really happy. Who wouldn’t be? Rosewood a.k.a. Morris Chestnut is pretty much the best catch out there. Also, even though he’s acting a bit like a jerk to Rosie, I like that Dr. Webb got the low down on Villa’s favorite thing to do, go salsa dancing.
I missed TMI in this episode. *insert sad face*
I’m not sure how I feel about the new receptionist at Magic City Labs… I’m going to need more time before I make a final call on her.
What did you think of the episode? Leave me a comment below!
