A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Caroline: "Why are you crying?" Max: "I'm on my knees in an alley and nothing fun is happening." (Marko Pekic)
1. Kelly: “Always bring a gun to a puppet fight.” (Jennise Hall)
1. Danny: "Ma'am? I worked for the FBI. This gnome you have guarding your door isn't gonna deter me."
2. Danny: "Well, you know what Bull would say?" Cable: "Something cryptic that takes me days to understand?"
3. Marissa: "I know it's probably a bad idea, and I promise I won't come to you again when things go south." Bull: " You can always come to me." (Dahne)
1. Terry: "So, meeting Amy's dad for the first time, huh? You nervous?" Hitchcock: "Yeah, a little." Terry: "I was talking to Jake." Jake: "No, Sarge, I am not nervous. I'm confident that I'll make a great first impression on Mr. Victor Santiago." Rosa: "Why'd you do it with a British accent?" Jake: "I felt like doing the Cuban accent would be a little dicey for me." Rosa: "Very good call." Jake: "Yeah." Holt: "My advice: don't be overconfident. The first time I met Kevin's parents, I called Brahm's "Funf Gesange" opus 106 when it is, obviously, opus 104. They haven't spoken to me since." Rosa: "Really? Just for that?" Holt: "Yes. Also because they're huge homophobes who think that I made Kevin gay with my magic genitalia."
Jake: "That's super sad, but I do like hearing you say the word 'genitalia'." (Laura Markus)
1. Caitlin: "I need him to get rid of my powers." Barry: "Oh, Caitlin. I don't know if it works that way." Caitlin: "You don't know that it doesn't." Barry: "I know that we love you and we will do everything that we can to help you. You and I, we've been through too much together to let each other down now. Please. Let me help you."
2. HR: "Barry's real superpower isn't speed. It's hope."
3. Cisco: "Look, I'm not leaving you out here. I want to help you." Caitlin: "There's only one person who can help me." Cisco: "Really? You really think seeking medical advice from someone named Dr. Alchemy is the way to go?" (Dahne)
1. Rory: "Hey!" Lorelai: "That's how you look when you get of a plane?" Rory: "That's how you say hello?" Lorelai: "You've been stuffed in a glorified tin can for the last 7 hours, surrounded by people with consumption, difteria, scabies, rabid dogs, drugged up children attacking your chair and stealing your change." Rory: "What airline are you flying?"
2. Emily: "I don't know how to do this?" Lorelai: "Do what?" Emily: "Life my life." Lorelai: "Oh Mom." Emily: "I don't know what to do or where to go. I forgot on which side of the bed to sleep on. I was married for 50 years. half of me is gone."
3. Luke: "Nobody gets to have everything they want in life, all in all I think I did pretty good." (Marko Pekic)
1. Jenkins: "Your mothers did not hug you enough, did they?"
2. Eve: "One day you're on top and then boom! Fall of Rome, collapse of the Mayan Empire, Myspace..." Flynn: "Well, you're a 'library's half empty' kinda gal today."
3. Jake: "Pure evil? As opposed to what, fake evil?" (Dahne)
1. Alex: "I know six different very painful ways to get you to tell me who Guardian is, using my index finger." (Donna Chidley)
1. Ophelia: "We're doing this for different reasons, but that doesn't mean there aren't people out there who need our help. The school needs its Batman."
2. Ophelia: "Is that Infinite Jest? There's no way he's read that whole book." Jules: "Yes, he did." Ophelia: "No, he didn't. No one's read that whole book. David Foster Wallace didn't even read that whole book."
3. Jules: "There is no next guy. We're done here. It's over, Ophelia. A person is dead." Ophelia: "A rapist is dead. A rapist who would've killed you, so forgive me for not wanting to pour one out for that scumbag. I...hey, what happened to making things right, to helping people?" Jules: "I don't know. I'm just...I'm not the person that you think I am, okay? I can't...I can't save you or anyone else. I just want to go back to my old life. This whole thing was a huge mistake." (Dahne)
1. Lydia: “What the hell is a Styles?” (Jennise Hall, Dahne)
2. Coach: "Your teenaged years are not the time for academic achievement." Mason: "Yes they are." Coach: "That is a lie sold to you by the government."
3. Liam: “I wanna sign up for team captain.” Coach: “It’s too late. I said end of the day.” Liam: “You didn’t say end of the school day” Coach: “Hey, what changed your mind.” Liam: “I held a guy’s hand.” Coach: “I get it. I totally get it.” (Jennise Hall)
4. Scott: "I know this sounds crazy but I think I had a best friend, and I think he was out here with me that night." Malia: "It doesn't sound crazy. I know that someone chained me up and I think they wanted me to stay human." Lydia: "I came to school this morning and I was sure I was supposed to meet someone, but I couldn't remember who it was supposed to be. I have been looking for them all day."
5. Mason: "Corey just wants to help." Liam: "Well where was he when we were fighting a nine foot werewolf to save you and why was he loyal to Theo for so long?" Mason: "There was a time where we all trusted Theo, including you." Liam: "I'll trust him when he does something trustworthy. Unlike right now, when I can hear his heart racing from across the room." Corey: "What about Hayden? You forgave her, no problem." Liam: "She almost died that night trying to stop Sebastien. All you did was hide." (Dahne)
1. Rufus: "Respectfully, I'm asking you to listen. We're not who we said we were. We're not from France. We're not British. We're not from anywhere around here. But these people didn't force me to be with them. These people are my friends. They've saved my life on more than one occasion. We look out for each other. Thing is, we're not even supposed to be here. We just want to go home. Now, you can kill them and I'm pretty sure there is nothing I can do about it, but if you do, you're gonna have to kill me too."
2. Wyatt: "Fort Duquesne? The fort that the French soldiers came from, including the one that I killed? What are we gonna do? Walk in and ask to borrow a forge?" Rufus: "Either that or we learn to start farming."
3. Rufus: "Our big problem is, we're short a couple capacitors." Wyatt: "Like a flux capacitor?" Rufus: "No. Those don't exist." (Dahne)
1. Bernard: "One more thing. Have you ever made me hurt someone like this before?" Ford: "No, Bernard, of course not."
2. Maeve Millay: "Time to write my own fucking story." (DarkUFO)
