"You were dying and you didn't say a word."
The Only Thing That Helps
The episode starts with a fast montage of Jimmy's writing troubles and process, accompanied at times by Edgar and Killian, which makes it funny. He even has a board on the wall with all his character's traits, and he works non-stop until he falls to the floor unconscious. It always happens to me that, when characters discuss a book they're writing, I often want it to exist in real life so I can read it, that's the case with Showtime's The Affair as well. Anyways, Jimmy's on a roll with his writing, until a package arrives, he throws it in the front yard as soon as he sees what's inside, but Gretchen brings it back in when she gets home, he throws it again and she takes this as a sign that they can now litter in their own yard. Finally, Edgar brings it back in and they find out it's Ronny's ashes. Apparently, they were sent by his family because Ronny'd said Jimmy was the most appropriate to throw a memorial, since he's "rich and talks good", but Jimmy's not too interested in the idea. Gretchen tries to be supportive, but somehow that always goes awry.
Gretchen: Jimmy, you know I'm here if you ever want to...
Jimmy: Have sex? Great. Let's go.
Gretchen: Okay. But I have a meeting later. So just keep me clean from... here up (pointing at her chin).
Meanwhile, Lindsay's trying to convince Paul to watch her "play" with Raul, a guy she found online, but Paul says he doesn't think he can handle it and he proposes other stuff, like couples massages or boudoir photography. Lindsay caves, but she's disappointed and bored out of her mind with their routine. Paul realizes that and decides to surprise her by inviting Raul, saying he'd do everything for their family. Afterwards, Lindsay looks happier than ever and tries to make it sound sexy by reviving her time with the stranger, but Paul doesn't seem very comfortable with it all. I'm hoping this finally makes him explode, but he seems pretty resilient so far. Also, I can't believe how much she drinks, I know she has many bad traits, but every time I see her drinking while pregnant it drives me mad.
As Jimmy's writing process continues to thrive, he talks to his father's ashes and reads him parts of his book, having a better relationship than they ever did in life. But this worries Gretchen and she tells him he has to do the funeral, and hopefully get some closure. So, Jimmy starts writing a list of heckles instead of a eulogy, but then the doorbell rings and we meet Freddy, a former co-worker of Ronny's, who wants to read a eulogy at the funeral, Jimmy agrees to have less work and throws his heckles in the yard.
Edgar has a very funny meeting with his VA caseworker, played by Tim Bagley who appeared on the TV show Monk, which makes the upcoming Tony Shalhoub (Monk himself) reference, all the more fun. The guy tells him that getting weed might mess with his VA benefits, and even teases him with calling the cops. Edgar argues that pot is legal in California and the guy's answer is hilarious: "You mean the Independent Nation of California? Is that the army you fought for? The Army of California? How did they pay you? Avocados and screenplays?" Later, on the funeral, Edgar complains that weed is the only thing that helps, and Vernon tells him in L.A. everyone has a medical marihuana card for the dumbest reasons, and he actually has a good one, so he should just go ahead and do it. This gives Edgar the courage he needed and he goes to an alternative health clinic to get his own card.
Ben Folds, Gretchen's new client, shows up out of nowhere and offers to play the piano. He tries to look generous and humble but that is all a publicity stunt which Gretchen finds confusing, he even has a guy follow him around so he can appear to be more popular and magnanimous. Gretchen tells him he should stop, since that is now her job as an agent.
Finally, Freddy starts reading the eulogy but it turns out it was written by Ronny himself.
Ronny Overly was not only my coworker. He was my hero. He cherished his family, especially his son, Jimmy. I remember when I came out to visit Jimmy... Oh, bloody hell, this was supposed to be in the third person. Oh, well, ha ha it's me, Ronny. I wrote this in pen so I might as well keep going. I just realized Freddie has to read whatever I say... "My name is Freddy and I'm a ..." I'm not reading that, skipping forward.
Anyway, I did my best to love him, but he rejected me. I sent him presents, I visited, I Facebook-requested him. Anyway, I forgive him. Please scatter my ashes at the home of actor Tony Shalhoub, whose movie Big Night you and I attended together... Your sister just told me he's a Paki. Sh*t. Anyway, after the movie you turned to me and said: That's what I want to do, daddy, I want to tell stories. And I said: You can do anything you want, son. And so, you became a writer. I did that.
Anyway, I hope you ditch that depressed girl. And I hope Fi is wrong about Tony Shalhoub. Looking at his name now it does look suspicious. Shal-houb. Cheers.
That's the last drop for Jimmy, who recovers his list of heckles and starts reading them aloud, until he realizes his dad had everything prepared, so he asks Freddy and he confirms Ronny had been diagnosed a year ago. So Jimmy grabs his dad's ashes and leaves out the door. He goes to Tony Shalhoub's house and sits on the grass to talk to his dad in a heartbreaking scene.
Jimmy: You know, when we had that moment at the pub, I thought to myself, "After 33 years, I'm finally having a real moment with my father". I can't believe what fool I was. There wasn't a shred of truth in that moment. You were lying the whole time. You were dying and you didn't say a word. All you had to do was say: "Hey Jimmy, this might be the last time I get to see you. Is there anything you'd like to say?" And that way, despite decades of neglecting, withholding, general assholery, I could have a modicum of closure. Goddamn you! I can hear you laughing at the word "modicum" as I speak. Well, guess what? I'm getting closure right now. You do not get to affect me anymore. So long, dad.
He says this as he kicks the can with the ashes into Tony Shalhoub's yard. Chris Geere was amazing in this episode, as always, but in this scene he broke my heart as his rage and agony melted into the heartfelt cry he'd been avoiding.
So what did you guys think of this episode? Where you as heartbroken as I was? I'd love to read your thoughts.
Note: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.
