A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. The Butcher: "If thou wishes not to follow me in this life, thou will follow me in the next. We shall never leave this place. It is our land. I will soak this earth with our blood. Let it mingle with the soil, tether us to these grounds forever!" (Dark UFO)
2. Cricket: "I met her. And I lived to tell the tale. But there were moments I felt my survival was in doubt." Shelby: "The Butcher?" Cricket: "Oh, no, darlin'. I met the b** with the real power." (Dark UFO)
3. Elias: "Different years, but every death, every missing person, takes place during the same lunar cycle in October. The Native Americans called it the Dying Grass Moon. It's six days, six blood drenched days, from the first quarter moon to the blood moon. Now, the spirits can haunt you anytime -- they can show themselves or not. But during this period -- this is when they can kill." (Dark UFO)
1. Tom: "Turn-ons include redheads and long walks on the beach. Are you guys looking for a soldier or a date?"
2. Liz: "Look, I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt anybody." Navabi: "I think you didn't care who you hurt."
3. Reddington: "I understand why you ran. You believe your family's in danger because of who I am, but what you don't seem to grasp is you're also in danger because of who you are."
1. Bull: "Sorry. I'm just the messenger, not the misogynist."
2. Cable: "Yeah, about that. You're aware that it only covers the last 30 minutes before the crash?" Chunk: "My phone holds 1,000 hours of music, but a black box taps out halfway through a Wayne Newton album?" Danny: "I tap out halfway through a Wayne Newton album."
3. Bull: "Just because Taylor feels responsible doesn't mean she's to blame."
1. Ethan: "It's over. It's time to start a new game. It's gonna be tougher than the one you've been playing, but if you work hard enough you'll learn to be just as good at it. You'll still be a hero to your team, your father, and to anyone who sees what a man can do after the worst has happened and they still never gave up. You're their Captain. They need you to show them the way."
2. Vince: "I'll pay you back." Mario: "You'll never be able to pay back what you owe me."
3. Noa: "You want to end your career right here, right now? I'm not letting you do it. You said you wanted a friend. This is your friend talking."
1. Hayes: "Stabbing me in the back makes sense but do it for yourself, not Wallace."
2. Hayes: "Don't lie to me. I'm immune. Childhood overexposure."
3. Senator: "This is your last chance." Hayes: "Tough talk in the middle of a Senate campaign." Senator: "It's what talk shows are for. Oprah has been dying to have me on. I'd play it for sympathy. Discuss my shortcomings as a mother and I'm aware I wouldn't be lying. I would talk about how you had a harder time than your brother growing up in the public eye, how you would say that instead of a childhood you had a series of photo ops, and how loving your children sometimes means making tough choices. I do love you, Hayes. You are so smart and brave and amazing and have every opportunity in the world. Imagine what you could do if you actually tried. If you worked at anything as hard as you do at making us all believe how little you care. Do you have it in you?"
1. Tom: "I have a difficult time accepting that the only way to bring the country together is through war."
2. Kimble: "Question - Did President Kirkman get a Best Buy gift card for Christmas or is the White House having some sort of security issue?"
3. Tom: "I'm not ready to declare war." Aaron: "All due respect, sir, that's a decision you can only make if you remain President. It didn't look likely 6 hours ago."
1. Sherlock: "Come for the shopping. Stay for the fiery death."
2. Watson: "So I'm not just depressed. I am superficial." Sherlock: "I mention it only to be helpful." Watson: "Well I'm not thinking about another career." Sherlock: "But?" Watson: "I miss helping people." Sherlock: "We help people all the time." Watson: "I mean helping people get better. I went to school for 11 years to become a surgeon. I wanted to fix people, take their pain away, and I was good at it and then I killed someone. So becoming a sober companion, I could still be involved, you know? But now, you and me, we're in the punishment business." Sherlock: "We find people who do terrible things and we stop them from doing more terrible things."
3. Watson: "I was gone for 5 minutes. You built a bomb?"
1. Caitlin: "Have I been kidnapped?" Wally: "Unclear." (Marko Pekic, Little Dreamer, and Dahne)
2. Eobard: "But I wanna hear you say it." Barry: "I need you to kill my mother." Eobard: "My pleasure." (Marko Pekic)
3. Eobard: "The you I know from the future, he is not this stupid." (Little Dreamer)
4. Cisco: "This is why I didn't want to get involved. Crime fighting sucks." (Dahne)
5. Joe: "You don't know me. You don't know my life, so why the sudden interest in me keeping my lousy job, and what the hell makes me so interesting to you, Mr. Allen? Tell me. I'd really like to know." Barry: "I…" Joe: "And remember, I have a hangover and a gun." (Dahne)
1. Daniel: “There are theories…okay” Raimy: “What theories?” Daniel: “I don’t know. I’m not a scientist, I’m an architect. I can’t—“ Raimy: “I’m a cop bear-hugging a coffee can. You’re good.” (Prpleight and Dahne)
2. Frank: "You're a cop? Get outta here. So you're telling me in 20 years I'm going to be on the job with my daughter?" Raimy: "No." Frank: "What, I'm retired?" Raimy: "You're dead. You die tomorrow." (Dahne)
1. Annalise: "There are no bad ideas right now." Bonnie: "We tell the DA." Annalise: "Except that one." Bonnie: "You need good press. What's better than helping recover the body of a missing girl?" Annalise: "We haven't even seen the body yet. For all we know, it doesn't even exist." Bonnie: "Well then just say that you were compelled for moral and ethical reasons." Annalise: "Like they'll believe that. It's…it's cute though."
2. Client: "Who's this?" Annalise: "Ms. Pratt. She's just joining our team. You hit on her, I'll cut off your balls."
3. Nate: "How about this? What's said in the dark doesn't leave this room, and that applies to the both of us." Annalise: "What secrets do you have?"
1. Ella Lopez: “Wow! Good eye, Luce..” (off Lucifer’s expression) Ella Lopez: “...ifer.” (Prpleight)
1. Jack: "Guy's place looks like a Kardashian exploded - straight cheese."
2. Mac: "In 99.9% of life and death situations, you're gonna want to go with life, but this just wasn't one of those times."
3. Ralph: "Hey, yo, yo, yo, what about my baby? We can't just leave it here unlocked." Mac: "I'm trying to imagine how your resale value could go down any more."
1. Deirdre: "These are the HR guidelines for interoffice fraternization. Study them. Like all good love stories, our romance must be both passionate and legally permissible."
2. Timothy: "Your love was like a Trojan virus that snuck past my firewall and melted my motherboard."
3. Evie: "Maybe you helped me learn to seize the day, but I will be seizing it at my own pace, thank you very much."
1. The Broker: "You know the difference between you and that guy? You acted. You came to life in that moment like a switch that was flipped on." (Dark UFO)
2. The Broker: "Don't know what I loved more: the look on his face when you hit him with the glass, or the look on yours when you threw him on that table." (Dark UFO)
1. Halse: “A straightforward case, I think, in the context of the monstrous events still unfolding in France.” Francis: "I agree with you sir.." Halse: "My concern..." Francis: "Which I share, is how to balance severity of judgment with the appearance of mercy." Halse: "Appearance of mercy?" Francis: "As you say, our duty is to allay rebellion, not stoke it." Halse: "But the punishment..." Francis: "Oh, I agree it should not be a crown of thorns for them to wear with pride." Halse: "Yet, if they wish to make martyrs of themselves..." Francis: "Then let us disappoint them. We both know the type. Bone idle." Halse: "One has to only look at them." Francis: "Then let us sentence them to the last thing they would seek. Ignominious, back breaking, without a shred of honour." Halse: "Sentenced to three months hard labour." (Sandi)
1. Cabe: “Does that include him getting slugged in the mouth?” Tim: “It’s an option currently being considered.” Cabe: “Well move off it. I’m not gonna let that happen. Besides, if you even get in a glancing blow, you’d probably pop his head off. These guys are smart. Not sturdy.” (Prpleight)
2. Cabe: "It hurts me to tell you this, but you like facts so here it is. She deserves more than you're capable of giving her at this stage in your life." Walter: "I thought you cared for me." Cabe: "And that's why I'm telling you this. You're not fully formed yet. You're almost there but you're half-baked, and for you to try to go to win the love of a woman like Paige before you're ready is selfish and wrong, and it's not fair to her." (Dahne)
3. Toby: "Is it Collins?" Happy: "What?" Toby: "When he kidnapped me, he said you couldn't say yes to my proposal. Why would he say that?" Happy: "For the same reason he talks to sock puppets. Because he's bat poop crazy." (Dahne)
4. Sylvester: "No, it's been so tense around here that I wanted to leave you people for the first time in my life, and when I did, I got so far away, I was in the middle of nowhere. And you know what I learned? Being alone sucks. You wind up talking to plants." (Dahne)
1. Jimmy: "Because, all this stuff, other people's opinions, it's nothing. You know what's not nothing? When The doctor tells you that something is wrong with your kid." (Marko Pekic)
2. Ray: "We're putting garbage in the garbage truck, not taking it out. This is a dream come true." Jimmy: "Yep. Also, dream bigger." (Prpleight)
1. Mason: "Lucy, if Flynn kills people in '37 who aren't supposed to die, they don't have the kids they're supposed to have, do the things they're supposed to do. History changes; reality changes." Lucy: "So why would you be stupid enough to invent something so dangerous?"
2. Wyatt: "I know this is hard to believe but I'm gonna tell you the truth. My name is Buck Rogers and this thing came from outer space."
3. Rufus: "I can't. I'm a coder, okay? That's what I'm good at, alright? I don't like to leave my desk, let alone going there or back then. Also, I don't know how it works across the pond but I am black. There is literally no place in American history that'll be awesome for me."
1. Dolores: "Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world, the disarray. I choose to see the beauty. To believe there is an order to our days. A purpose." (Dark UFO)
2. Examiner: "Last question, Dolores. What if I told you that there were no chance encounters? That you, and everyone you know, were built to gratify the desires of the people who visit your world? The people you call the newcomers. What if I told you that you can't hurt the newcomers, but they can do anything they want to you? Would the things I told you change the way you feel about the newcomers, Dolores?"
Dolores: "No. Of course not. We all love the newcomers. Every new person I meet reminds me about how lucky I am to be alive and how beautiful this world can be." (Dark UFO)
3. Dr. Ford: "What is your itinerary?" Peter: "To meet my maker." Dr. Ford: "Ah. Well. You're in luck. And what do you want to say to your maker?" Peter: "A most mechanical and dirty hand [laughs]. I shall have such revenges on you...both. The things I will do, what they are, yet I know not. But they will be the terrors of the earth. You don't know where you are, do you? You're in a prison of your own sins." (Dark UFO and Kayell)
1. Diana: "If old media is so dead, why is new media always trying to buy us?"
2. Kelsey: "I know it seems impossible, but he could be gone just like that. So if you love him, just be with him."
3. Kelsey: "Don't call me, don't text me, and stop tagging me in funny memes. They're not funny."
1. Hector: "These men are dead because of me, this is going to happen to you too. Everyone close to me dies." Warren: "Everyone close to everyone dies. I don't need a saint. Or a lover. I need a killer. The only redemption any of us has is to survive. To live another day. Look, you can't change who you are, Hector. But you can change what you do. Use who you are to give us all another chance." (Kayell) ~ Z Nation is not the type of the show that often gives us those weightier, emotional moments. But because these moments of pathos come so rarely, they have a larger impact when they do as it's doesn't sound like a broken record - one of the flaws of that other zombie show (which is great in its own way). In this scene, Hector reveals how haunted he is by his past, and Warren makes her case about his importance to the team. We see two formerly sworn enemies now confiding in each other like family.
