A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Daisy: "I'm sorry but you just said that, like 10 seconds ago." (Mark Ondo)
1. Cricket [to Lee]: "Emily says hello. She wonders why you quit looking for her all those years ago."
2. The Butcher: "Had I that child, she would have been flayed and roasted by now. Priscilla, the bastard seed, has hidden her away, somewhere beyond our hallowed ground. I shall not step one foot off my land. Never again. I must protect it from trespassers such as thee." Cricket: "Oh, honey. This land does not belong to the dead. Croatoan! Croatoan!"
3. Cricket: "Why do you haunt this place?" The Butcher: "I protect this place. This place is mine. Ours. I shall stop at nothing to hold safe this colony. I shall stack the bodies high as cold wood." (darkufo)
1. The Cop: "You lose someone?" Seth: "Yeah. I lost everyone." (Justyna Kubica)
1. Murray: “I think Woody Allen said it best. Those that can’t do teach and those that can’t teach teach gym."
2. Beverly: “Yes, Bill, there’s no better place to find love than next to lady foot locker.” (Jessica VanWinkle)
1. Bonnie: "There are worse things than murder, Laurel. You don't know that, and that's a good thing." (Jimmy Ryan and Marko Pekic)
1. Murtaugh: "I'm taking Martin Riggs to a gun factory. What could possibly go wrong?”
2. Trish: "Are you crazy, Riggs?" Riggs: "Seems to be the consensus." Trish: "Not to me." (Jennise Hall and Justyna Kubica)
1. Mike: “I’m going to L.A. where I have to see my pain in the ass ex-wife who is hell bent on ruining my life even though we’re no longer married. She wants me to go through my things. You know, before she sells them. What she really wants to do is get back together with me. Why did God make me so damn appealing to women? It’s a curse, Baker, it really is.” (Jessica VanWinkle)
1. Joni: "I was gone a half an hour. You left me for a year."
2. Mac: "You worry about finding this shitbag so I can take my goddamn wife home."
3. Joni: "Kids? In Room 20 at the Sunnyside Motel in Huntsville, Arkansas is the perfect place to raise a child? Right?" Mac: "Right. Yeah. Like you woulda made such a great fuckin' mother, huh?" (darkufo)
1. Randall: "Kevin, mom and dad didn't raise no whores. Except briefly, during Kate's eyeliner phase."
2. Randall: "First came..." Kevin: "Me." Randall: "Dad said." Kevin: "Gee. (small pause) Than came..." Kate: "Meee!" Kevin: "And Mom said." Kate: "Weee." Randall: "And than came me..." Kevin: "They've said..." Randall: "That's three." Kevin: "THE BIG THREE!!!" Kevin, Kate, Randall: "THE BIG THREE!" (Marko Pekic and Justyna Kubica)
1. Tow Truck Driver: "They're not evil. None of 'em are. The military's job is to sand down our humanity just enough to where we can take a life. That's it. Afterwards, some totally separate branch gets to deal with all this purposely broken motherfuckers." (Luana Arturi)
About the Author - Lindsey
