A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
Killjoys -
1. Pawter: "Chemistry is a bitch and so am I." (prpleight)
1. Patrick: "So what if we got together now?" Dom: "Sure. I don't want a relationship, but for you I'll make an exception." Patrick: "Oh, come on. It's not the worst idea in the world." Dom: "It's up there." Patrick: "You just said we're best friends. Right?" Dom: "Yeah!" Patrick: "And that is the perfect basis for a relationship." Dom: "Says who?" Patrick: "Says Agustin." Dom: "What the hell does he know?" Patrick: "I mean, we don't make each other sick. Like, physically...right? Do I make you sick?" Dom: "It depends on what I've eaten." Patrick: "I don't know, I mean. Maybe this has been staring us in the face the whole time." Dom: "You are actually scaring me right now." Patrick: "No, listen, we understand and accept each other's flaws. Your work is important to you as mine is to me. We like the same movies. On paper, I mean, it's just...would you stop laughing? On paper it sounds totally right." Dom: "You are not being serious." Patrick: "Not really." Dom: "Okay." Patrick: "But it would be nice, wouldn't it? To suddenly find something by mistake that makes sense, that makes it all easier."
2. Patrick: "Do you love Eddie?" Agustin: "I always used to say love is a social construct that doesn't really exist." Patrick: "I didn't believe you then, and I don't believe you now." Agustin: "Okay, so, what is it?" Patrick: "Christ, don't ask me." Agustin: "Seriously. How would you define it?" Patrick: "Okay, let me ask you a different question. Does the idea of being with Eddie make you happy? Like, the two of you being old and grey together, smoking weed to ease the arthritis." Agustin: "Yeah, that thought does make me happy." Patrick: "Why?" Agustin: "I don't know. I...I like his beard. I like his hat collection. I like that whenever I have someone I wanna bitch about or there's something funny, he's the person I wanna tell. He's my best friend, I guess." Patrick: "I'm mildly jealous that I'm no longer your best friend." Agustin: "Okay. He's my best friend that I wanna have sex with. Also, he has a huge penis." Patrick: "Isn't that everything? I mean, not the penis part obviously, but the other stuff? Maybe if you just focus on that this won't seem like such a big deal. Right?" Agustin: "Actually, I don't even think this is about Eddie. This isn't like some Runaway Bride moment where I feel like there's someone else out there for me. Patrick: "Then what is it?" Agustin: "Remember when we first came here? After we started college?" Patrick: "Of course." Agustin: "We talked about our big life plans." Patrick: "Among other things." Agustin: "If you told me that a decade later, I'd be working at the art institute as a Shop Manager, and getting hitched to a man?" Patrick: "Well, what did you know about anything in those days? I mean, we couldn't even get married back then." Agustin: "You heard those guys last night. Frank, especially him, Dom, Brady." Patrick: "Ugh, don't listen to anything Brady says. He's like a blog that nobody reads but in human form." Agustin: "I'm not who I thought I'd be, and that's tough for me to take. I've become everything that I rallied against, for years, very loudly." Patrick: "Well, you're allowed to change, especially when you've found something that works for you." Agustin: "Well, what happens if I get married and I freak out? Not about Eddie, but about me? What happens if I can't cope that this new me is so far from who I thought I'd be that I fuck everything up? What happens if I hurt Eddie? I don't wanna do that to him. I can't...I can't do that to him." Patrick: "What makes you think you'll do that?" Agustin: "Because it's what I do, for fuck's sake." Patrick: "You know what I love? Over the last couple of years, when you found that something didn't work for you, you somehow found a way to fix it. And that made you happy. You are happier now than you've ever been. Who cares if you're not who you thought you were gonna be when you were 18 years old? You have had 10 years of experience to figure out what it is you really need." Agustin: "That's well said."
3. Patrick: "Okay, you beautiful boys, here we go. I think everyone in this room can agree that this, on one hand, is the most surprising thing in the world, but, at the same time, it makes total sense. Right?" Doris: "Love you, Patty." Patrick: "No, this isn't about me, I'm not gonna make this speech about me." Eddie: "Never gonna happen!" Patrick: "I wanna talk about Agustin. We have been friends for a very long time, and there are a million reasons why I love you. But one of the biggest ones is that you have always been incredibly committed to making the most of your life. And, even when you fuck up, and we all fuck up. Yes, we all fuck up. You keep going despite any sort of doubts that you might have. And you keep trying to find the things that work for you. And you found Eddie. And it is really clear that you two are absolutely crazy about each other, while at the same time being incredibly realistic about what that means and both being really committed to figuring out how to make that work. And I just think that that is...amazing. And so, before I start openly weeping, let's raise a cheap cocktail to Agustin and Eddie!" (Laura Markus)
Major Crimes - 1. Provenza: “I can lie a lot; a little… I dunno.” (prpleight)
1. Frank: "Hey, I was wondering when you'd show up. Don't act like you don't remember me, Harvey. We both know why you're here." Harvey: "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm here because I represent the prison." Frank: "Bullshit. I pulled a string and you came. You think it's a coincidence I'm standing here while you're walking out?" Harvey: "Okay, Gallo, you got my attention. You want me to step inside? Or you want to come out here?" Frank: "We both know that's not possible. You owe me 13 years. I'm gonna collect." Harvey: "I didn't do anything to you that that investigator didn't start and you know it." Frank: "Well, if his little boyfriend ever shows up in here, I'll be sure to take it up with him." Harvey: "What do you want, Gallo?" Frank: "I already have what I want. Which is knowing that every time your phone rings, you're gonna ask yourself is this the call where you find out that the guy who's in here for you is never coming out." Harvey: "Listen to me, you son of a bitch. You think I can't hurt you in here? I'll put a Goddamn bounty on your head. I'll pay 'em whatever it takes to break your legs. And if that doesn't work, I'll wait till you get out and I'll kill you myself. So unless you want that to happen, don't you ever even look at Mike Ross again."2. Harvey: "You want to know something, Arlene? We did something wrong, and now we're paying for it. But I'm getting a little sick and tired of people acting like Mike Ross screwed them over. He gave his heart and soul to every client he ever had, and if those cases were reopened, they would end up exactly in the same place. So, you can sign that deal or not, but I'm not gonna spend another second dealing with a parasite like you."3. Jessica: "What you got in your hand there, tiger?" Harvey: "Dark roast, splash of cream, no sugar." Jessica: "And to what do I owe the honor?" Harvey: "I was thinking this morning about the day you picked me out of the mailroom and how far we've come." Jessica: "You know, it's funny. I was thinking this morning about how far we've fallen." Harvey: "Then let's go put these lawsuits to bed." (Laura Markus)
About the Author - Lindsey
