A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Jennifer: "Hey! I didn't see either of you two yestertoday."
The Americans -
1. William: "They wanted me to get married. I tried. We were fighting. I was... I wish I could have been with her all these years. Like them. Couple kids. American dream. Never suspect them. She's pretty. He's lucky."
2. Stan: “Father of the bride — you're paying!”
3. William: "I'm a dead man. It's a very unusual feeling." Aderholt: "Would you like a coke?" Tatiana: "We didn't always agree, but Arkady Ivanovich was a good man." Oleg: "He's not dead."
4. William: "In a few days, everything that's inside me that matters will have oozed out through my orifices... I'm a dead man. It's a very unusual feeling."
Angie Tribeca -
1. Mrs. Quigley: "We were devastated to hear about John's death." Mr. Quigley: "I could swear he had 3 or 4 more divorces in him."
2. Atkins: "What are these?" Angie: "Newspapers, sir. That's how people got their information up until 2008."
3. Jane: "Just because we're divorced doesn't mean I'm happy that he's dead. We were high school sweethearts ever since college."
Game of Thrones -
1. Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun: "Snow"
Feed the Beast -
1. Dion: "How are you and the bottle getting along these days?" Tommy: "Really well actually." Dion: "Yeah?" Tommy: "Yeah. No, we're in love. How about you and the blow?" Dion: "We broke up."
2. Dion: "He lost his mom. He doesn't need to lose his dad too."
3. Dion: "Look, how do you live like this, huh? I had better digs back in prison." Tommy: "I'm sure they'd make room for you again."
Houdini & Doyle -
1. Houdini: "Is everybody here like Jim or do you have any humans?"
2. Houdini: "You think they drugged you?" Doyle: "Either that or I donated my clothes to the Salvation Army in the middle of the night." Houdini: "Oh good, your sarcasm's back."
3. Houdini: "It's important, isn't it, that I'm just as wrong as you?" Doyle: "No, that you're just as honest as me." Houdini: "Well how about this? I actually enjoyed being the believer, accepting everything unquestionably. It was like a vacation." Doyle: "And I enjoyed playing the cynic, gainsaying everything and stooping to ad hominem arguments. It was refreshingly unimaginative."
Motive -
1. Angie: "Listen. If we followed up every single person we met at a crime scene, we'd never finish an investigation." Vega: "We could have caught her by now. Jason could still be alive." Angie: "I don't…I don't accept that. You don't get to do this. You don't get to start second guessing yourself. We've know each other a long time and I did what you asked. I've given you space. You don't want to talk to me, that's fine. That's your choice but I think you should talk to someone. I do because this doubting yourself and second guessing, that's not you. So if you want to deal with it, then let's deal with it. Otherwise I need you on the case. Okay?"
2. Angie: "What about the lawyer? Anything?" Vega: "Oh Charles Castella - open book. You know…very honest, very forthcoming." Angie: "So you don't believe him." Vega: "He's a lawyer."
3. Ashley: "I love how you think this is a democracy."
1. William: "They wanted me to get married. I tried. We were fighting. I was... I wish I could have been with her all these years. Like them. Couple kids. American dream. Never suspect them. She's pretty. He's lucky."
2. Stan: “Father of the bride — you're paying!”
3. William: "I'm a dead man. It's a very unusual feeling." Aderholt: "Would you like a coke?" Tatiana: "We didn't always agree, but Arkady Ivanovich was a good man." Oleg: "He's not dead."
4. William: "In a few days, everything that's inside me that matters will have oozed out through my orifices... I'm a dead man. It's a very unusual feeling."
1. Mrs. Quigley: "We were devastated to hear about John's death." Mr. Quigley: "I could swear he had 3 or 4 more divorces in him."
2. Atkins: "What are these?" Angie: "Newspapers, sir. That's how people got their information up until 2008."
3. Jane: "Just because we're divorced doesn't mean I'm happy that he's dead. We were high school sweethearts ever since college."
1. Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun: "Snow"
1. Dion: "How are you and the bottle getting along these days?" Tommy: "Really well actually." Dion: "Yeah?" Tommy: "Yeah. No, we're in love. How about you and the blow?" Dion: "We broke up."
2. Dion: "He lost his mom. He doesn't need to lose his dad too."
3. Dion: "Look, how do you live like this, huh? I had better digs back in prison." Tommy: "I'm sure they'd make room for you again."
1. Houdini: "Is everybody here like Jim or do you have any humans?"
2. Houdini: "You think they drugged you?" Doyle: "Either that or I donated my clothes to the Salvation Army in the middle of the night." Houdini: "Oh good, your sarcasm's back."
3. Houdini: "It's important, isn't it, that I'm just as wrong as you?" Doyle: "No, that you're just as honest as me." Houdini: "Well how about this? I actually enjoyed being the believer, accepting everything unquestionably. It was like a vacation." Doyle: "And I enjoyed playing the cynic, gainsaying everything and stooping to ad hominem arguments. It was refreshingly unimaginative."
1. Angie: "Listen. If we followed up every single person we met at a crime scene, we'd never finish an investigation." Vega: "We could have caught her by now. Jason could still be alive." Angie: "I don't…I don't accept that. You don't get to do this. You don't get to start second guessing yourself. We've know each other a long time and I did what you asked. I've given you space. You don't want to talk to me, that's fine. That's your choice but I think you should talk to someone. I do because this doubting yourself and second guessing, that's not you. So if you want to deal with it, then let's deal with it. Otherwise I need you on the case. Okay?"
2. Angie: "What about the lawyer? Anything?" Vega: "Oh Charles Castella - open book. You know…very honest, very forthcoming." Angie: "So you don't believe him." Vega: "He's a lawyer."
3. Ashley: "I love how you think this is a democracy."
1. Felix: "Ira, you fertilized my sister’s eggs for science. You don’t get to speak too."
2. Ira: "You really don’t like each other, do you?" Rachel: "She put a pencil in my brain."
3. Alison: "Helena! Where did you come from?" Helena: "Beavertail National Park. It was very peaceful. Donnie Hendrick, you look like roast pig."
1. Megan: "Spanish blueberries, applesauce. Just take it slow. You can't go cold turkey off a Captain Crunch diet."
2. Anderson: "Getting all eaten up inside, running on the past, will eat away at whatever future you have in store. You want to reclaim your family, you've got to let your mother go."
3. Megan: "Jeans instead of PJ bottoms. Big changes happening around here."
1. Finch: "I must confess, hers is a voice that I miss... deeply." The Machine: "Aww Harry... you sure know how to make a girl feel special."
2. Shaw: "I missed on purpose, jackass."
3. Fusco: "Rest in peace, Cocoa Puffs."
Rizzoli & Isles -
1. Korsak: "Careful." Jane: "Careful's my middle name." Korsak: "I know your middle name. I wish it was Careful."
2. Priest: "What have you done?" Jane: "Someone's after me. They're hurting my friends and my family. It's not what I've done. It's what I'm gonna do."
2. Priest: "What have you done?" Jane: "Someone's after me. They're hurting my friends and my family. It's not what I've done. It's what I'm gonna do."
3. Jane: "If you don't take it easy, I'm going to have you arrested." Maura: "On what charges?" Jane: "Failure to listen to me. Clinical stubborn…I don't know. I'll think of something."
1. Chet: “We’ve only been in cities for like 400 years, we’ve been cavemen for like 20,000.” Quinn: “Not even one part of that is accurate.”
2. Quinn: "Suck it up, Goldberg. If we fired everyone we had sex with, we wouldn't have a crew."
3. Chet: "May the best man win.” Quinn: “She usually does.”
4. Quinn: "Money, dick, power, right?" Rachel: "Yeah. Yeah, money, dick, power."
2. Dolls: "What? You don't believe me?" Wynonna: "Only the part about you having a buddy."
3. Doc: "I really need to stop drinking less or much, much more."
4. Willa: "Are there any angels?" Wynonna: "Sure - snow, Charlie's and Los." Willa: "How can you think this is funny?" Wynonna: "How can you not? This curse, our burden, if you don't laugh, you'll go crazy. I've been crazy. I didn't care for it." Willa: "You hate having to do this." Wynonna: "What would it make me if I didn't?"
5. Willa: "Demons? Like Beelzebub and Lucifer?" Wynonna: "Hell no." Willa: "Hell yes, apparently."
