Hi and welcome back to Last Week in TV. We're officially into summer hiatus so until summer shows start trickling in faster, this column will be a bit lighter. Hence the new category - marathoned shows. These shows will probably vary week to week. If you'd like to help with that section, just fill out the short form below and I'll e-mail the details. I have temporarily suspended the nomination process since we're about to go on hiatus and I still have a lot of nominations left, but if there's a show you think I should watch just put it in the comments below. This time I violated my own nomination rules and reviewed another episode of a show I did earlier. That's because the officially nominated episode of Killjoys was 1.07 but I didn't have time to marathon at that time so I reviewed the pilot instead. Since Killjoys was one of the shows I marathoned this week, I finally got to the nominated episode.
The column will continue for about 4 more weeks before it goes into hiatus so I can get the Character Cup together. It will pick back up again when the fall season begins. One of those weeks we will focus on overall season awards and the last week of June, we will have a special edition focused on Childhood/Teen TV. Basically I'm asking people to watch at least 3 episodes of a show they loved as a child or teen to see how well it stands up and how their view of it changed or stayed the same. If you are interested in participating, there is still plenty of room. Just fill out the short form below for details. I'd love to get a great variety of shows covered. Until next time, add your own episode awards in the comments section below and happy TV viewing.
Shameless Plug - We're still looking for people to pitch their favorite shows. All you have to do is tell people why they should start watching your faves. More details here.
Houdini & Doyle - 1.05 - The Curse of Korzha
This episode is one of the better ones for me, mostly because we get rich background on several characters. Merring could have remained a one-note, sexist boss but instead they humanized him here. Learning of his son's death a year earlier made him more sympathetic, especially since he touched on the grieving process. It was also a nice touch in explaining why Merring dislikes Doyle. It's not just about how Sherlock Holmes often mocked the police. Instead it was about Doyle's newest book on the Boer War. Since Merring's son died in that war, Merring has issues with Doyle's defense of it. It also explained why he was personally involved in these cases where children went missing. I like that even though Pierce went psycho from grief, Merring still understood his pain. Other good character insights were about Adelaide's husband and her alias. That definitely pointed to a larger story and one that I was very interested in when I first watched this series. The subplot about Houdini's mom was a little creepy but I did like him sharing with Doyle about his experience as a psychic himself. It's no wonder he is skeptical about others when he blames a woman's suicide on his tricking her. Another plus for the episode was Madame Korzha herself. I love how she was a brilliant detective in her own right, solving crimes that Scotland Yard did not. It makes sense given the time period that in order to use those skills she felt she needed to hide them under the guise of psychic.
Grade: B+
Best Reason to Watch - the psychic who is really a brilliant detective
Best Scene - Houdini rescues the girl
Best Moment - Doyle reads to his daughter and gets inspiration
Best Back Story - Houdini's time as a psychic / Merring's dead son / Adelaide losing her husband / Adelaide's real name
Best Magic Trick - the psychic takes the place of her assistant in seconds
Most Heroic - Houdini jumps in to save the child and rescue breathes for her
Most Creepy - the doll factory
Most Sympathetic - Doyle's writers' block
Biggest Mama's Boy - Houdini, who is jealous of his mom having a date
Biggest Awww Moment - Merring talks about his dead son
The "Welcome Back" Award - Emily Hampshire from 12 Monkeys
Best Quotes -
1. Adelaide: "You brought us here to spy on your mother?" Houdini: "Yeah. What do you think's going on there?" Doyle: "My instincts tell me she's having lunch." Houdini: "With a man." Doyle: "Clearly my detective skills are no match for yours."
2. Houdini: "Yeah, not being in the same country is a pretty solid alibi."
3. Merring: "We let him down." Houdini: "We let the insane kidnapper down?" Merring: "His child's killer is still out there. How could he not go mad?"
4. Houdini: "How could she be married? She had dinner with me. That's got to mean something." Doyle: "It means she was hungry."
5. Adelaide: "I make it a rule to never discuss my personal life with anyone hiding from their mother."
Killjoys - 1.07 - Kiss Kiss, Bye Bye
First off, I should say that I really do like this series. It's action packed with lots of one liners and good character interactions. In fact, you can read what I thought of episodes 2-6 below in the marathoned section. That being said, this is my least favorite episode so far. Partly because of the romance folderol, partly because of the wasted potential, partly because of the eye candy. Does it get any more sexist eye candy than a woman running around in her underwear being stalked by a shirtless psycho? Come on. What should have been one of my favorite scenes turned into one large eye roll. Thanks SyFy. The only saving grace is that Dutch, of course, won. Otherwise it would have been any other stupid horror show scene. Tossing in a sex scene between Dutch and D'Avin was another huge miss. The team is just starting to gel but they just had to go there. I agree with every single point John made to Pree. Nothing good could ever come from this so why randomly throw it in. If we get a love triangle with the brothers, I will throw socks. Lots and lots of socks. Even worse is that this should have been a strong brother episode. There should have been more flashbacks to their youth. There should have been more time with the brothers getting along to build it up. Heck, even more time with John there for his brother instead of making it all about sex with Dutch. The good parts of this episode were awesome and the killer soldier, while its own trope, is interesting. I loved Amanda Tapping playing evil again too. However, the good was overshadowed by the clichéd and the unnecessary. Even worse, it didn't build the bromance or the team and that's the heart of this show.
Grade: C-
Ranking: I am committed to watching the show for as long as the romance dregs don't bring it down
Best Reason to Watch - the characters' reactions to what they have done and what has been done to them
Best Scene - D'Avin stabs John
Best Back Story - John tries to get D'Avin to remember their childhood
Best Save - the females (Dutch protecting D'Avin and Pawter saving John)
Best Entertainment - Dutch and D'Avin play Shoot the Snitch
Biggest Awww Moment - D'Avin breaks down, knowing what he did
Biggest Ewww - blood cleanup
Least Surprising / Most Disappointing - Dutch and Dav hook up, which is exactly what this space adventure does NOT need along with love triangles and will-they, won't they and contrived brother issues and romance drama
Smartest Plan - Dutch erases the doctor's memories
Worst Plan - Hooking up the leads…again. Man, do I hate this cliché
The "Poor Baby" Award - all three of them
The "Welcome Back" Award - Amanda Tapping from the Stargate franchise and Supernatural (she and Mark Sheppard should take their act on the road)
Best Quotes -
1. John: "It's kind of hard to have casual sex with someone you live with and they're both…I mean they're both terrible at relationships. I mean epically incompetent…so whatever this is, it can't last and they know that it can't last and then I have to pick a side." Pree: "Well pick hers." John: "I will. Does that make me a bad brother?" Pree: "It makes you an excellent friend. I'm guessing she's earned that from you."
2. John: "In my defense, in scientific research there's a very thin line between stupid and genius." Dav: "Congratulations, you crossed it."
3. Dutch: "Let's not compare sins here, okay? I'll win."
4. John: "How's D'Avin?" Dutch: "Maybe for once, just worry about yourself first. We're all fine." John: "Dutch, you tell him that we know that it wasn't his fault."
5. Dutch: "I don't believe in ties. That's just quitting before you win."
6. Dutch: "I don't want to hurt you." Dav: "Well I need to hurt you." Dutch: "Why?" Dav: "I have my mission. I'm a good soldier." Dutch: "Well I'm a better one."
12 Monkeys - 2.07 - Meltdown
BY BlueStar
This was an action packed episode. Cassie returns to 2044 but is not the same. She keeps seeing images of The Witness throughout the facility and hearing Olivia’s voice. Not long after she’s back the splinter machine goes out of whack and goes into a constant state of splintering. People start popping out of the time stream, including Jones’ early, ill-fated time travelers. Cassie and Sam go missing, and Cole and Ramse find out she kidnapped him. Cole realizes she is under the control of The Witness, who has consciously locked her up in a room in her mind while he tries to keep the others from preventing the time machine from blowing up. Dr. Eckland sacrifices himself to prevent this, but Sam is still in danger. To help Cassie overpower The Witness and take back control, Cole has Ramse shoot him and Cassie snaps out of it. Everyone out of place is zapped back into the time stream and to where they belong. However, the time machine has an electronic surge after Ramse shuts down the core, and Sam is zapped away to parts unknown. Believing he’ll likely never see his son again, Ramse leaves the facility. Meanwhile, Sam appears in a forest and takes a hand belonging to a mystery person. Is it The Witness?
Grade: B+
Best Reason To Watch – Things are intense and a lot happens during this one
Best Scene – Cole gets through to Cassie by having Ramse shoot him
Foreshadowing Award Goes To – Ramse: “Where’d he go?” Sam: “Nobody knows.”
I’ll Miss You – Dr. Eckland was a great character. Shame he didn’t last longer.
Most Intelligent Kid – Sam, who builds a replica of the facility and points out the way Cole and Ramse could save him
Most Nausea Inducing – The time travelers Jones lost in the time stream. How were they even still alive?
Most Terrifying – Tie between being an early time traveler and being consciously taken over by The Witness
Best Quotes:
1. Cole: “Remember when you said we didn’t know each other anymore? You were wrong about that. The truth is, I don’t think anybody’s ever known me like you. And I know you. I know you. And I know…you would never let me die.”
2. Deacon: “So, uh, fella, we’ve had a little bit of a time travel snafu here, and brace yourself – you’re in the future…2044 to be exact. So if you want to drop your weapon, we can catch up on the last…” Dr. Eckland: “Eighty-five?” Deacon: “Eighty-five years.”
3. Deacon: “Don’t worry, I’ll tell your hippie friends you fought them off with flowers and rainbows.”
Outcast - 1.01 - Pilot
Outcast is created by Robert Kirkman, who also brought us The Walking Dead, and there are a lot of similarities. For most people that is a compliment. For me that means super slow pacing with stretches of nothing interspersed with shocking violence or periods of extreme grossness. The gross comes in the opening scenes when a young boy head butts a cockroach and licks it off the wall. He then proceeds to eat his finger, as in a bone-crunching meal. The boring starts in the extremely long title sequence and lasts almost halfway through. However there are some great moments too. The exorcism is actually intense and unless you are immune to horror stories, you may find some parts make you jump or at least get your heart pounding. The special effects are decent but they pull no punches on the violence. I mean where else are you going to see a grown man punching a little kid in the face repeatedly on TV these days? The character of Kyle has the requisite horrible background, being the child of an abusive, possessed mother and having been falsely arrested for hurting his own child. (His possessed wife actually hurt her.) As a result he isolates himself from everyone even though his adoptive sister makes an effort and his childhood neighbor tries to make amends. He's also joined by Reverend Anderson, a firm believer in God and the devil. They make a sort of Odd Couple of Exorcism or the strangest, least funny buddy drama ever. I'm not sure if this is going to be for me or not. I'll give it two more episodes to find its feet, but the #1 TV sin is to bore me. The pacing has to pick up.
Grade: C-
Ranking: 3-
Audience - those who like horror and are okay with a slow build to it
Best Reason to Watch - it actually is a horror show, not a farce or supernatural drama
Best Scene - the exorcism
Best Back Story - the flashback to Kyle's wife being possessed
Best Twist - Kyle didn’t hurt his daughter; his wife did.
Worst Job - exorcist because if you do your job right, the person is free but you end up in jail
Most Disturbing - seeing Kyle punch the kid over and over again and then feed him blood
Most Flexible - the possessed kid
Most Supportive - Kyle's neighbor, Norville
Least Supportive - Megan's husband, Mark
Biggest Hmm - Exactly how psychologically scarring is this for the young actors on this show? My guess is that some people much older than them are scarred simply by watching it.
Biggest Ewww - The cockroach scene but I guess it is protein. I didn't even watch the finger scene. Nope.
The "Welcome Back" Award - David Denman from Parenthood and The Office / Gabriel Bateman from Stalker
Best Quotes -
1. Megan: "Let me get you outta here, at least for an hour. Maybe you'll luck out and the place will burn down while we're gone."
2. Reverend: "Whatever your motives, there would have been something missing without the (Police) Chief's chili." Fire Chief: "Yeah, heartburn."
3. Kyle: "Megan brought me over against my will. Honest. Look Mark, I'm the only person who wants me here less than you do. Believe me. You know how she is."
4. Reverend: "Alright then. Call, raise, whichever. Just quit wasting time and give me your damn money."
5. Kyle: "I appreciate your judgment. I really do, but you can quit making me your mission. I'm doing just fine."
Hunters - 1.08 - The More I See You
Hunters is turning out to be one of the more decent SyFy shows for me. I like that they chose to air it midseason because I might have overlooked it in the onslaught of regular TV. The character of Regan has become so dynamic and having her meet the father she thought was dead was touching. I love how Jackson is key in giving her the opportunity. So many times in shows like these, the guy in charge is the worst character. Here it is the direct opposite. Jackson appears to be the only person to be trusted because he's the only one with a clear code of morals guiding him. He's the good guy even if he's in the upper echelon of a corrupt group. It's a refreshing change so if they make him evil, there will not be enough socks in the entire world for my wrath. I am still really unclear about Abby though. Is she helping? Is she hurting? One thing is for complete sure. She's not on Musa's side anymore than she is on the ETU's side. The real question becomes if she's on Flynn's side.
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch - the main arc is heating up and it feels like we're close to answers about the Purge
Best Scene / Best Reunion - Regan sees her father again
Best Action - Briggs vs. Flynn
Best Character - Jackson, who also appears to be the only noble one
Best Point - Briggs, who smartly doesn't trust a Flynn hopped up on pain pills
Best New Addition - Liana, who smartly does not trust Abby
Worst Return - McCarthy
Worst Combination - handful of pills with an alcohol chaser, which Flynn should already know
Biggest Hint - Is Liana really Regan's mom?
Biggest Douche - it's a tossup between Finnerman and Briggs these days
Smartest - Abby for trying to get Flynn away from the scientist
The "About Time" Award - Flynn finally understands that the scar on his arm means he's had alien contact before in the military
The "Oh Please No" Award - The hunter baby was called a seraphim. Please, please, please tell me they are not bringing angels into this show too. I've had it with TV angels.
The "Pokey Little Puppy" Award - The freaking scientist who takes 20 years to pack up his freaking stuff. Seriously, it was daytime when they found him and he's still packing when it's the dead of night. Do you not understand the word "urgent," buddy.
Best Quotes -
1. McCarthy: "What do Nancy Sinatra, Freddie Mercury, and Brittany Spears all have in common?" Jackson: "I don't know." McCarthy: "You people turn their music into a misery, use it to torture prisoners. At least Iron Maiden made sense."
2. Briggs: "You still think she loves you. Oh whatever's in that medication, that's some strong hooch." Flynn: "You don't know sh** about me." Briggs: "You don't know sh** about you."
3. Ted: "I'm your father, Alison, and nothing, not even Musa, could ever change that."
4. Flynn: "Looks like Martinez didn't retire after all." Briggs: "No, he took up fishing or he's opening a Red Lobster."
5. Abby: "The reprogramming was unsuccessful." Liana: "Hers or yours?"
Motive - 3.09 - Best Enemies
This was one intense episode that could have done with more case of the week time and less Saunders time. Again, the victim comes off as the bad guy. They need to stop with that because it has gotten too formulaic. What good is a crime procedural if you know all their tricks? However, despite this, it did bring up some important issues and I found myself empathizing with the killer again. The idea that people can use their status in an industry to do whatever they like, including rape, is repulsive. The idea that we as a society allow them to is even worse. Nika, getting so trapped up in Eric's wishes, was bound to fall hard but I never expected her to blow her friend's rape off like that. In fact, while I was fairly sure the motive was going to be rape, I thought it was going to be Eric raping Stacy and Nika and then Nika not wanting to go to the police and telling Stacy not to. The taxicab was a twist I didn't see coming. As for the investigation into Angie, I have no idea where it was going at all or why they've wasted so much time on it. So all it took to stop the investigation was Lucas name-dropping? That seems simple. There has to be more behind this and obviously Angie is still in danger. You'd think the smart move would be to back off of her. Did someone not do their homework? Because the more they intimidate, the more Angie is going to know she's right and the harder back she's going to push.
Grade: B+
Best Reason to Watch - trying to decode the motives
Best Scene / Best Revenge - Nika's sister shoots Eric in the groin
MVP - Lucas
Most Classy - Vega shakes the IA douche's hand but walks out without picking up his card
Most Uncomfortable - the discord between Vega and Angie
Biggest Douche - Nika, the victim, who hands her friend over to a rapist / Eric for being so aggressively smarmy
Biggest Huh? - So if I'm reading this right, Lucas put the investigation back on the Deputy Chief and suddenly the investigation into Angie is dropped? How does that work? Lucas is definitely skating on the political pond and winning…or is he? There's no way this is over yet.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Kacey Rohl from Wayward Pines and The Magicians / Katie Stuart from The 100 and The Returned
Best Quotes -
1. Vega: "You're looking at an attempted murder charge." Danielle: "If I'd wanted him dead, I would have aimed higher."
2. Angie: "Can I get you to talk to him? You know, in a sympathetic way? Try to get him to confess? Please." Mark: "It's not my favorite part of the job." Angie: "I know but you're so good at it." Mark: "You know that's not a compliment, right?" Angie: "It's supposed to be."
3. Saunders: "Must have grown close." Vega: "I would say we're very close, yes." Saunders: "Well you saved her life." Vega: "I shot a man in the line of duty to protect her. She's done the same for me. We would do the same for you."
4. Stacy: "I am supporting you. I'm telling you that your boss is a creep and you don't have to put up with it."
5. Saunders: "Have you ever had reason to suspect a personal agenda drives her work?" Vega: "I don't think she's the one with the agenda here."
Battlestar Galactica (miniseries)
With its complex world building and metric ton of characters, it is easy to see why it took so long to set up the story in this miniseries. The only problem is that it took almost an hour without commercials to get to the action. Then because the battle is completely one-sided, the pacing slows again in the middle section. It's a good thing most of the characters are engaging then. Mary McConnell does an excellent job as the former Education Secretary who is launched into the presidency with no warning. She's cool in crisis and makes tough, but logical decisions. While it is a safe bet that someone will challenge her authority in the series proper, her concern for her people is admirable and she has the ability to see clearly when those around her don't get it. She's was right to call the war a loss and I'm glad that Adama agreed in the end. The two make for a good, smart, yet still combative relationship that should serve the show well. It also helps that both are excellent actors. I like Adama's character too. He's an awful lot like Roslin except with a military bias. He's got good instincts and his ability to work in a low-tech environment will come in handy. My only concern is his relationship with Apollo. If this is about an estranged father-son pair learning to get to know each other again and come to a mutual respect, then I am all onboard. If this is going to be the source of contrived drama, not so much. Unlike most of the fandom, I did not like Starbuck. Not only do I keep adding an "s" to her name, she comes off as a real idiot in this. Hot-tempered and insulting is a terrible combination in close quarters. I expect I will grow to love her, but for now she's mostly irritating. Not as much as Baltar though. He and Six can go at anytime as far as I'm concerned.
Grade: C+
Best Reason to Watch - the rich world building that sets up the conflict and characters well
Best Awww Moment - Adama hugs his son and Apollo hugs him back
Best Moment - Roslin takes the pilot's hand to keep it from shaking
Best Speech - Adama's farewell / Adama's pep talk about getting to Earth (even if it is all a lie)
Best Reaction - the kid to seeing Boomer and Tyrol kiss
Best Threat - Cylon onboard the Galactica
Best Character Interaction - Roslin vs. Adama
Best Save - Starbuck pushes Apollo's ship back to Galactica
Best Twist - Boomer is a Cylon
Worst Temper / Worst Diplomacy - Starbuck
Worst Decision - Agathon gives up his seat to Gaius so we're stuck with him
Biggest Promotion - Roslin from 43rd in line for the presidency to President
Biggest Eye Candy - Six
Biggest Plot Device - blowing up part of the armory
Biggest Hmm - Shouldn't nuclear fallout be making everyone sick?"
Biggest Schmuck / Biggest Patsy - Doral, who tries to supersede Roslin's authority, only to get screwed himself
Biggest Douche - Starbuck
Biggest Hero - Agathon
Most Frustrating - the breaks for Six to mess with Baltar's head
Most Grace Under Pressure - Roslin
Most Annoying / Most Pompous - Gaius
Most Evil - Six snaps the baby's neck
Most Awkward / Most Clichéd - the chilling relationship between father and son
Smartest Plan - Apollo uses an EMP pulse to fry the Cylon ships
Toughest Decision - sacrificing several to save the many (both Roslin and Tigh)
Weirdest Cheer - "So say we all."
The "Welcome Back…to My TV" Award - Ty Olsson from Supernatural and The 100 / Edward James Olmos from Miami Vice and movies / Mary McDonnell from Major Crimes and movies / Katee Sackhoff from Longmire and 24 / Jamie Bamber from Horatio Hornblower / Tricia Helfer from Killer Women and some of the most memorable guest star roles around (TBBT for one) / Michael Hogan from Teen Wolf and 12 Monkeys / Alessandro Juliani from The 100 and Smallville / Aaron Douglas from The Returned / Michael Eklund from Wynonna Earp / Tahmoh Penikett from Supernatural / Grace Park from Hawaii Five-0 / James Callis from Eureka and Flashforward / Kandyse McClure from Higher Ground and recently Supernatural
Best Quotes -
1. Tyrol: "Look, I don't have time to argue with you so here's the deal. We've got over 2,000 people on that ship. Now you think you can shoot every single one of us, fine, but if not, get the hell out of my way!"
2. Adama: "We're in the middle of a war and you're taking orders from a schoolteacher?"
3. Adama: "They better start having babies." (Awkward pause) Tigh: "Is that an order?"
4. Adama: "You cannot play God, then wash your hands of the things that you've created . Sooner or later, the day comes when you can't hide from the things that you've done anymore."
5. Roslin: "I honestly don't know why I have to keep telling you this, but the war is over." Adama: "It hasn't begun yet." Roslin: "That's insane." Adama: "You would rather that we run?" Roslin: "Yes, absolutely. That is the only sane thing to do here. Exactly that - run. We leave this solar system and we don't look back." Adama: And we go where?" Roslin: "I don't know. Another star system, another planet. Somewhere where the Cylons won't find us." Adama: "You can run if you like. This ship will stand and it will fight." Roslin: "I'm gonna be straight with you here. The human race is about to be wiped out. We have 50,000 people left, and that's it. Now if we are even going to survive as a species, then we need to get the hell out of here and we need to start having babies."
6. Baltar: "You'll have to forgive me. I'm bad with faces." Roslin: "Oh no, that's perfectly alright. I'm sure I wouldn't remember me either."
7. Baltar: "Knowing this place was going to be a museum, they might have given us a map."
8. Adama: "You're right. There's no Earth. It's all a legend." Roslin: "Then why?" Adama: "Because it's not enough to just live. You have to have something to live for. Let it be Earth."
9. Baltar: "You're a machine. You're a synthetic woman, a robot." Six: "I've said it 3 times in a row." Baltar: "Well forgive me. I'm having the tiniest bit of trouble believing that because the last time anybody saw the Cylons, they looked more like walking chrome toasters."
10. Starbuck: "Why can't we use the starboard launch?" Tyrol: "It's a gift shop now."
The Carmichael Show - 1.05 / 1.06 - Prayer / Guns
On paper, there is no way I should like this show but it's about as close to All in the Family as TV is ever going to get again. Not that the characters are necessarily bigots, but because they tackle tough topics with a lot of humor and honesty. They don't shrug away from the big problems but they do it in a way that feels at least a little more balanced many times (not always) and without coming off as a super PSA, unlike almost every comedy that tackles a big issue these days. I laugh every single time, even when I am sure the topic will either tick me off or fall flat as a joke. More importantly, I like these characters. They don't have the typical heart of say The Goldbergs or Fresh Off the Boat, but you know that this family cares about each other deeply.
Grade: B
Best Reason to Watch - they tackle tough issues and somehow make them funny
Best Scene - everyone just sloughing off Joe pulling a gun on Nekeisha, which sounds like a terrible scene but is really funny
Best Character - Joe
Best Character Interaction - Cynthia and Joe
Best Reaction - Maxine to finding the gun
Best Reference - Hulu / Thelma and Louise
Best Advice - figure out what's important in your lives first and talk about it before marriage, living together, or kids come into play
Best Music - I'll be There by the Jackson 5
Worst Plan - dumping a gun in a park
Biggest Surprise - They actually had Jerrod accidentally shoot his dad. Never thought they'd go there.
Biggest Huh? - How exactly did a gun go off in that apartment and no one called the cops? Come on. It's not like they live in a gang zone.
Most Hilarious - Joe and Jerrod macho fighting about guns
Most Psychotic - Maxine wanting to be murdered to prove that she was right and lay a post-death guilt trip on Jerrod
The "Say What?" Award - Jerrod serenading a gun
The "Welcome Back" Award - Isiah Whitlock from Lucky 7
Best Quotes -
1. Joe: "Oh that's not fair. Using your emotions to win an argument. What are you running for office or something?"
2. Maxine: "You see that's a problem because I want to encourage them to make their own choices." Jerrod: "Make their own choices? Everybody knows children are stupid, Maxine. They can't make their own choices. If I made my own religious choice as a child, I'd be a Scientologist right now and that's based solely off John Travolta's excellent performance in Pulp Fiction."
3. Cynthia: "I'm trying to find The Mindy Project. Which channel is Hulu?"
4. Joe: "Not Christian?" Cynthia: "Of course she's Christian. What else can she be?" Jerrod: "I don't know. There are about 5 other major religions." Joe: "Not in North Carolina, there aren't."
5. Jerrod: "It's the guns. It makes you feel so empowered. It's like listening to Beyonce's album. You just feel stronger and prettier for some reason."
6. Maxine: "I believe what you put out into the universe is what comes back to you." Joe: "That's not a religion. That's a fortune cookie."
7. Cynthia: "You gave both my babies a gun. What are you just supplying arms to everybody? You're like a one-man Iran Contra."
8. Jerrod: "Look that's mostly Crips and Bloods. They'll skew any poll if you let them."
9. Maxine: "Why didn't we think to put me on the lease, and why haven't we talked about our beliefs, and what are you praying about every day?" Jerrod: "Mostly that we don't have conversations like this."
10. Joe: "I don't want to pay $12 only to be shot before I can see Matt Damon get out of a sticky situation."
Dexter (2.01 - 2.03)
Dexter is one lucky serial killer. All it takes is for his girlfriend and nemesis to think he's addicted to heroin and suddenly life is good. Well except for the manhunt after treasure hunters find his secret stash of body parts. Minor concerns. Last year, Dexter was the biggest surprise for me. I never thought I could like a show where the main character is a serial killer. I certainly did not want to be sympathetic to one, and I'm still not. I just find him fascinating. That's all thanks to the strong writing and the awesome performance by Michael C. Hall. I was a little concerned that Dexter was going to be a one-season wonder for me, but this opening trio of episodes were as engrossing as the first season. I love how they didn’t gloss over what happened with the Ice Truck Killer. There should be ramifications. It was a major deal for both Debra and Dexter. Speaking of Deb, she is starting to grow on me. I think giving her PSTD and not knowing how to cope this season was a brilliant move to make the character a little less rough around the edges. Not that she's suddenly morphed into another character or anything, but I can feel for her now in a way I couldn't for much of the first season. All in all, I am really liking this season of Dexter so far too.
Grade: B+ / B / A-
Best Reason to Watch - Michael C. Hall is mesmerizing
Best Scene - Deb breaks down to Lundry when she wants off the task force
Best Continuation / Most Realistic - Deb's PSTD over the Ice Truck Killer
Best Storyteller - Paul
Best Investigator - Debra, who finds the connection between the victims
Best Speech - Dexter's second NA story
Best Surprise - LaGuerta doesn't tattle on Pascal, even though it would mean her promotion
Best Way to Get Rid of Your Stalker - promise a night of unending bowling
Best Solution to Dead Story Weight - Paul died in prison. Good riddance.
Best Parallel - Dexter needing to say goodbye to his brother while Rita needs to bury Paul
Best Addition - Lila Tournay and not just because she's played by Jaime Murray
Best Plan - Rita kicks Dexter to the curb when he won't go to meetings
Biggest Sick Laugh - Dexter is sorting through his killer grocery list while a woman gives her testimony at an NA meeting
Biggest Product Placement - Michelin tires
Biggest "Made You Jump" Moment - Dexter's brother pops out of the water and grabs his wrist. Well, in his mind at least.
Biggest Douche - Doakes and that's even with a serial killer main character
Biggest Shock - Deb hugs Maria when she returns
Most Compassionate / Best Therapist - Lundry, surprisingly
Most in Need of Getting Fired - Pascal, who spends more time trying to catch her fiancé cheating than doing her job. Seriously, break up with him or hire a private investigator. You're making women look bad.
Most Interesting Office - the car dealership is on a boat
Most Brilliant Move - Dexter tells Rita he has an addiction to explain away the holes in his story
Most in Need of Some Manners - the kid mouthing off to Deb
Most Interesting Twist - divers are looking for treasure in the same spot Dexter dumps his victims
Most Surprising / Least Surprising- Doakes finds Dexter at a NA meeting (not a shock) and stops investigating Dexter once he does (big shock)
Least Gracious Houseguest - Deb, who drinks the OJ right from the carton and leaves her stuff everywhere
Strangest Twist of Fate - Lundry basically gives Dexter permission to kill his next target because it will save an innocent life
The "Be Careful What You Wish For" Award - Rita isn't so excited to see how beautiful Dexter's sponsor is
The "Whatever Floats Your Boat" Award - Dexter apparently feels most alive when he's almost caught
The "Egads" Award - exactly how many bodies has Dexter chopped up
The "Welcome Back: Award - Max Gail from Barney Miller / Jaime Murray from Warehouse 13 and Defiance / Don McManus, who played Samhain on Supernatural
Best Quotes -
1. LaGuerta: "You know what erratic means? It's code for non-male and it's the same BS sexism I put up with when I was in charge. I won't dignify rumors, Captain. Pascal's fine."
2. Dexter: "I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister."
3. Roger: "But you, you're there all alone, no one there to nag you, and you don't even glance at the coupes. The only thing you look at is the minivan - like you can see her in the passenger seat and the kids in the back." Dexter: "Leave the kids out." Roger: "See. You're lying to yourself if you think you don't care." Dexter: "She's just a companion, really. It stated that way anyway. Some who…looked good, normal." Roger: "They worm their way in." Dexter: "Yeah, they do."
4. Voiceover: "I come here to dump bodies, not beer bottles. Now I'm just a litterbug."
5. Dexter: "Will you take Rita out for me? She hired a babysitter and everything." Deb: "No way. I need to work out." Dexter: "No, actually you need to stop working out. It's getting unhealthy. Why don't you go out for some nice hard liquor instead?"
6. Voiceover: "I go to stalk a killer and I end up with a new car. How'd that happen?"
7. Batista: "Don't forget. Tell the universe what you need." Voiceover: "I really need to kill somebody."
8. Dexter: "You leave pain wherever you go." Little Chino: "If you kill me, what do you leave behind?" Dexter: "A world without you."
9. Batista: "You know Pascal is just caught in a cycle of reaction. She's not co-creating her own reality." Dexter: "You know those words don't actually mean anything, right?"
Killjoys (1.02-1.06)
Killjoys is the perfect summer show. It's stuffed full with action, snark, and intriguing sci-fi stories. Plus Dutch is worming her way into my Top 10 Kick Butt Women list. She's that good. Even better is how the team is really starting to gel together. John and Dav appear to be working out their most pressing issues while still completely acting like brothers. Here's hoping that they back off Dav and Dutch making googly eyes at each other though because this is one trio that seems to work. Plus the standalone cases are good too. I loved the one with the vessels. In many ways being a surrogate is a lot like being a beauty queen now. People have a lot of stereotypes and many just aren't true. I like how Constance stood up to that prejudice even if I agree with Dutch's opinion more. Either way, there were good scenes about perseverance, loyalty, family, and class systems amidst some of the most awesome pregnant woman action I've ever seen. Plus, it introduced the best character yet, even though she didn't last long.
Grade: A- / B+ / B / B+ (for kick butt women) / B- / B-
Best Episode - the pilot but narrowly followed by Vessel
Best Character - tossup between Dutch (for the action) and John (for the snark)
Best Reason to Watch - quick pacing and teamwork
Best Scene - John tells Dav he's going to help after learning Dav's secret
Best Backstory - Dutch's childhood / Dav's military experience
Best Twist - the surrogates can handle a gun and fight back, even pregnant Constance
Best New Edition - Dr. Pawter
Best Friendship - John and Lucy, the literal ship
Best Tech - the laser that closes up wounds instead of using stitches
Biggest Evil - Khlyen
Biggest Eye Candy - Dav, who spends most of his time shirtless
Biggest Plot Device - nanobots save Dutch as she's floating around in outer space
Biggest Laugh - Lucy does favor John
Least Surprising - Dutch offers D'Avin a job as a killjoy
Most Kick Butt - Dutch in ALL situations
Most Inventive - Fancy and all his cool toys
Most Honest - D'Avin
Most Insecure - John when it comes to his brother
Most Useless - the flamethrower in a gun fight
Saddest Death - Jenny
The "Least Welcome Back" Award (character) - Khylen, whose shadowy is getting boring / Fancy, who is just a straight up douche
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Alvis
Best Quotes -
1. John: "Okay so then we search, we find out but Dutch has to be in on it. She's family too." D'Avin: "Okay." John: "Meaning don't plow our sister." Dav: "Remind me. Was that on the Jaqobis family crest?" John: "I've seen how you look at her. Dav, this is almost working. We are a good team. We could be great so don't mess that up for us." Dav: "I won't. I promise."
2. John: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your social director. Those of you not wishing to be blasted into a dewy mist, please step away from your firearms."
3. Dav: "So, just whatever you want to say, go ahead. Ask." John: "Why?" Dav: "Like I said on the ship, I can't remember what I did…" John: "No, no, no, no, that's not what I mean. I mean why didn't you tell me. Why carry this all on your own? Is this why you ran away from all of us?" Dav: "John, you heard what I did." John: "Yeah, I can help. Dav, I can do something." Dav: "How are you gonna help me, John?" John: "Well there's something to figure out. There's something to fix and I like fixing things, remember?" Dav: "Yeah, I remember."
4. Dav: "I miss just shooting people. They're so much easier to catch when they're dead."
5. Dav: "You set a trap for me." John: "You say tomato. I say that's what you get for not confiding in your brother."
6. John: "I'm sorry but I love you." (John shoots Dav) Dav: "How is that in any way loving me?" John: "Because it can't fix you and torture you at the same time."
7. Lucy: "Session 2 will commence in 10 minutes." Dutch: "Oh come on." Lucy: "It's not my fault you're filthy."
8. Dutch: "You gonna give Johnny a heads up before disappearing from his life this time?" Dav: "Not if he's gonna make a thing out of it." Dutch: "I'll make a thing of it if you don't."
9. John: "You know you're just role playing a Qreshi b**, Dutch. You don't actually have to be one."
10. Dutch: "Nice. You can handle a blade at least." Dav: "Yeah well, I know what end's pointy."
Wynonna Earp (1.05 - 1.10)
These days I normally don't marathon the same show all in a row. I like to mix it up because it keeps my attention better. However I didn't need to switch things up in this set of Wynonna episodes because the show itself moved at such a quick speed. Who thought when this thing started that Wynonna would get her revenge on the seven before the season even ended? I figured that would be a 3 season deal at minimum. I guess it's a good thing that there are 77 revenants in total. She kills multiples per episode. The only plotline that is dragging a little is Bobo's overall purpose. Also, not killing Constance guarantees that she will come back to be an annoying pain in the butt. What a terrible villain! Unlike most of the fandom, I'm also not keen on Deputy Haute. Her hideous name is an embarrassment to the show and her chief purpose seems to be to stare lustily at Waverly and stumble around. No character's purpose should merely be love connection. At best, she's wallpaper right now. She's even more obsolete now that it appears Dolls and the Sheriff are teaming up. Good thing Wynonna is so engaging. She's awkward but kick butt, smart but foolhardy. In other words, she comes off as a real character and not some cartoon cutout. As for Dolls, he's improving every episode. At first he was my choice for first to die but he's actually become a person and not an android recently. I'd like to see where this is going. Plus he's got the biggest mystery. What is he injecting into himself and what is it doing to him? Still the best character for me right now is Doc. He beats out Waverly simply because he's got a connection with every character and yet I still don't know exactly what he is going to do next. I really thought he was going to kill Constance, the consequences be damned. I like learning more back story on him and peeling back all those layers.
Grade: B+
Best Reason to Watch - the rich world building and Wynonna
Best Scene - Dolls sticks up for Wynonna with the judge
Best Action - Doc vs. Dolls fight
Best Opener - Wynonna shoots the revenant attacking Doc
Best Reaction - Wynonna to hearing that Hetty's family ate the hotel guests / Doc trying to figure out the car
Best Backstory - Constance explains why Doc is immortal
Best Bluff - the Blacksmith's land mine
Best Aww Moment - Doc reassures Waverly that they will save Wynonna
Best Character - Doc, who has really grown on me
Best Addition - the Blacksmith
Best Surprise - Wynonna kills all 7 revenants that attacked her family well before the season even ends
Best Plan - Dolls serves up the Fight Club owner instead of Doc / Doc learning to drive
Worst Plan - burying Constance instead of killing her, which only means she'll be back to suck up things some more
Worst New Addition - Constance and Haught
Worst Death - the Blacksmith, who was too cool of a character to go that quickly
Worst CGI - the bear
Biggest Huh - How did someone else use the gun? Is that really Willa? Could there really be 2 heirs? I thought only the heir could wield the gun and that there could only be one heir at a time.
Biggest Idiot - Bethany, hands down
Biggest Surprise - Dolls can schmooze with the best of them / Wynonna has PSTD
Biggest Question - What the heck "medicine" does Dolls need and why does it make him inhuman? If he even is human, that is.
Biggest Laugh - Wynonna's boobs don't work so she sends in Doc to get shirtless
Biggest Ewww - Levi crawling away in pieces
Least Happy - Wynonna kills off the last of the 7 and looks like she's in mourning
Least Surprising - Doc and Wynonna hook up
Most Like Supernatural - the salt circle
Most Creepy - morgue doctor revenant
Most Humdrum Twist - Dolls' "death"
Strangest Twist - Bobo buys Shorty's
The "Well That was Pointless" Award - Why did they bring the Stone Witch's son back just to burn him 10 minutes later?
The "Yeah, Whatever" Award - so this Jack is Jack the Ripper, okay
The "Excuse Me" Award - How in the world did Waverly just walk into the interrogation room? I know it's a small town but is there no security here?
The "Welcome Back" Award - Rachael Ancheril from Rookie Blue
Best Quotes -
1. Wynonna: "I was just thinking I needed another man to tell me what to do today and here you are. Awesome." Fish: "Not to be rude but can we cut the chit chat. I get carsick real bad." Wynonna: "Absolutely. Anything else? Drive-thru fro-yo? Slurpee run?"
2. Doc: "Prohibition?" Dolls: "Uh, from 1919 to 1933, the United States banned the sale, the making, and consumption of alcohol." Doc: "Lord, I'm almost glad I was in the well for that."
3. Bobo: "Girls, what'll you have?" Wynonna: "A tall glass of 'you're officially next on my hellbound and down' list." Bobo: "You want some ice with that?"
4. Bobo: "Well, I'm just a sucker for a reunion." Doc: "Well, me too." Bobo: "No, you're just a sucker." Wynonna: "Says the unarmed revenant in a coat Lady Gaga deemed maybe too much."
5. Blacksmith: "You know the only thing I hate more than trespassers is an Earp. I mean I can feel your negative energy from here." Wynonna: "Oh yeah, but landmines and a magical hot poker scream good vibes."
6. Doc: "There are 2 rules to this, Mr. Dolls." Dolls: "Let me guess. The first rule of Fight Club - never talk about Fight Club, right?" Doc: "If nobody talks about it, how're the fellas gonna know where it is?"
7. Dolls: "Earp, I think we just lured the skinwalker back to a whole bunch of free range dinners."
8. Wynonna: "You're not the only one who gets to be married to his job." Dolls: "Married? Slow down. At best, it's just my girlfriend."
9. Wynonna: "Hey stop! I've got a beef with you, Tate, and it's not just delivering meat puns."
10. Doc: "Have you ever tortured anyone before?" Wynonna: "Does 6-year-old Waverly count?"