A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
12 Monkeys -
1. Jennifer: "This is the day we woke up. And that smart little monkey wasn't just a monkey anymore. It was human." Jones: "That's not how it works. It didn't happen just in one day. We evolved because we were given time." Jennifer: "Then what happens to time, given time? Evolution. Time and man, we grew up together. We depend on each other." Jones: "Impossible. Time is older than man, and infinite." Jennifer: "But in the here and now, we help it think. Time needs us. Some of us more than others. Primaries. Primaries living, breathing gears in time's wristwatch. We keep it moving, steady, in sync. Tick, tock, past, present, future. But now, if someone were to destroy us Paradox. Gears break. Time stops working. Collapses. No past. No present. No future. Only now. An infinite now of death and life together. No beginning. No end. All of humanity unborn and destroyed. A memory of tomorrow."
2. Jones: "We know what the 12 Monkeys are doing. They're trying to destroy time. They didn't just kill Crawford son, they brought part of him back with them. A knife made from his bones to create a massive paradox. They're using time against itself. They're destroying these primaries like critical points on a structure, bringing it to a collapse." Ramsey: "This doesn't exactly sound like Stephen Hawking." Jones: "Because there is nothing in the world of scientific theory to support this. However, the natural world is full of firsts. That's what Jennifer wanted to show me." Ramsey: "So what now?" Jones: "There is no way of knowing how many primaries must be destroyed to collapse time. But if they succeed, all of history, all of humanity, will collapse into itself. The Red Forest, a temporal hell on Earth."
3. Eckland: "Why are you being such an asshole?" Jones: "How dare you? I'm trying to solve the problem." Eckland: "No, you're not.You're trying to be right, so let's try this instead. Just just shut up and listen. Open your mind. You are not just a scientist. You are an explorer. You're pushing boundaries. Inventing the new. You're not just analyzing the old. That's what makes you you, Katarina." Jones: "Oh, time is cruel. Because of that, you don't know me." Eckland: "But, boy, I know you, and you are lost, and you're scared. But what does the explorer do when they're lost? They go full speed ahead into the unknown. You taught me that."
1. Jennifer: "This is the day we woke up. And that smart little monkey wasn't just a monkey anymore. It was human." Jones: "That's not how it works. It didn't happen just in one day. We evolved because we were given time." Jennifer: "Then what happens to time, given time? Evolution. Time and man, we grew up together. We depend on each other." Jones: "Impossible. Time is older than man, and infinite." Jennifer: "But in the here and now, we help it think. Time needs us. Some of us more than others. Primaries. Primaries living, breathing gears in time's wristwatch. We keep it moving, steady, in sync. Tick, tock, past, present, future. But now, if someone were to destroy us Paradox. Gears break. Time stops working. Collapses. No past. No present. No future. Only now. An infinite now of death and life together. No beginning. No end. All of humanity unborn and destroyed. A memory of tomorrow."
2. Jones: "We know what the 12 Monkeys are doing. They're trying to destroy time. They didn't just kill Crawford son, they brought part of him back with them. A knife made from his bones to create a massive paradox. They're using time against itself. They're destroying these primaries like critical points on a structure, bringing it to a collapse." Ramsey: "This doesn't exactly sound like Stephen Hawking." Jones: "Because there is nothing in the world of scientific theory to support this. However, the natural world is full of firsts. That's what Jennifer wanted to show me." Ramsey: "So what now?" Jones: "There is no way of knowing how many primaries must be destroyed to collapse time. But if they succeed, all of history, all of humanity, will collapse into itself. The Red Forest, a temporal hell on Earth."
3. Eckland: "Why are you being such an asshole?" Jones: "How dare you? I'm trying to solve the problem." Eckland: "No, you're not.You're trying to be right, so let's try this instead. Just just shut up and listen. Open your mind. You are not just a scientist. You are an explorer. You're pushing boundaries. Inventing the new. You're not just analyzing the old. That's what makes you you, Katarina." Jones: "Oh, time is cruel. Because of that, you don't know me." Eckland: "But, boy, I know you, and you are lost, and you're scared. But what does the explorer do when they're lost? They go full speed ahead into the unknown. You taught me that."
The Blacklist -
1. Tom: "You know Liz and I never really had a family until we met you guys. Albeit a slightly dysfunctional family, the kind where you try to kill each other occasionally, but…uh, family none the less."
2. Scottie: "You, all of you, have proven quite capable of parking your selective morality when the moment serves. I suggest finding Elizabeth Keene's killer is just such a moment. It's badges in the drawer time, people. This is a revenge movie."
3. Reddington: "I have virtually unlimited resources. I want you to know that those resources are at your disposal in the raising of Agnes." Tom: "I don't want your money. I don't want your protection. I want answers."
3. Reddington: "I have virtually unlimited resources. I want you to know that those resources are at your disposal in the raising of Agnes." Tom: "I don't want your money. I don't want your protection. I want answers."
Elementary -
1. Watson (looking at the dismantled bomb still in the brownstone): "You know I'd really like to get rid of that." Sherlock: "I promise I'll clean my room as soon as I've done my homework."
2. Watson: "Do you think Morland would have said yes to the offer to take over the group?" Sherlock: "No, there's no denying that over his long and storied career my father has facilitated business deals where death was the likely outcome for someone somewhere, but Vikner and his people, they pursue death as a business deal. It's a difference of kind, not of degree. It makes the murder of Sabine Raoul all the more pointless. My father was never a threat to Vikner's ascendency."
3. Watson: "We should ask Marcus to join too." Sherlock: "What does he know about real estate?" Watson: "Probably nothing but he's single and so is Lynn." Sherlock: "And to think that my father thought that I was the greatest threat to our circle of friends."
1. Watson (looking at the dismantled bomb still in the brownstone): "You know I'd really like to get rid of that." Sherlock: "I promise I'll clean my room as soon as I've done my homework."
2. Watson: "Do you think Morland would have said yes to the offer to take over the group?" Sherlock: "No, there's no denying that over his long and storied career my father has facilitated business deals where death was the likely outcome for someone somewhere, but Vikner and his people, they pursue death as a business deal. It's a difference of kind, not of degree. It makes the murder of Sabine Raoul all the more pointless. My father was never a threat to Vikner's ascendency."
3. Watson: "We should ask Marcus to join too." Sherlock: "What does he know about real estate?" Watson: "Probably nothing but he's single and so is Lynn." Sherlock: "And to think that my father thought that I was the greatest threat to our circle of friends."
Motive -
1. Lucas: "You know that's evidence." Vega: "No, the packaging is evidence. The popcorn is delicious."
2. Vega: "So you went over to his loft to set him straight about etiquette." Herman: "What else was I supposed to do?" Angie: "Well almost anything other than assault." Vega: "Yeah, like you could have filed a complaint. You know, with the police for example." Herman: "No, Contagion has to remain anonymous." Angie: "Does he have to talk about himself in the third person?"
3. Vega: "Just a little lightheaded that's all." Angie: Did you eat breakfast? That's the most important meal of the day, my friend." Vega: "You know you say that about every meal." Angie: "Well they're all important."
1. Lucas: "You know that's evidence." Vega: "No, the packaging is evidence. The popcorn is delicious."
2. Vega: "So you went over to his loft to set him straight about etiquette." Herman: "What else was I supposed to do?" Angie: "Well almost anything other than assault." Vega: "Yeah, like you could have filed a complaint. You know, with the police for example." Herman: "No, Contagion has to remain anonymous." Angie: "Does he have to talk about himself in the third person?"
3. Vega: "Just a little lightheaded that's all." Angie: Did you eat breakfast? That's the most important meal of the day, my friend." Vega: "You know you say that about every meal." Angie: "Well they're all important."
Orphan Black -
1. Krystal: "Oh my god! I'm late. I'm late for my own pregnancy."
1. Krystal: "Oh my god! I'm late. I'm late for my own pregnancy."
2. Krystal: "Oh my god, he's so cute! Look at him and his little dimples! Hello, Mister Dimples! Look at him, he's adorable!" Donnie (sees Krystal is a clone): I have to go... shit."
3. Donnie: "Listen to me! There's another clone here." Cosima: "What? Who?" Donnie: "Big blonde hair, perfect nails, voice like a can opener." Cosima: "Krystal Goderitch?"
The Real O'Neals - 1. Sandra: "I can't believe she left!" Kenny: "I can't believe she came!"
2. Eileen: "What's that on your collar? Tomato?" Kenny: "Lipstick! I'm gay!" Eileen: "I'm not an idiot, Kenny. Did Sandra make you dinner?" Kenny: "N-no. No. Not at all. Wasn't dinner. It was just a very light snack. And it didn't mean anything."
3. Pat: "Now, teach Brad how to fetch. I know you can do it." Jimmy: "Dad, it doesn't fetch. Okay? It doesn't do anything. This plan is a huge bomb." [Brad fetches] Shannon: "Whoa! Look at him go!" Pat: "A bomb! He was on the bomb squad." Jimmy: "Oh, my God. Look how happy he is! Come here! Who got the bomb, huh? Yeah, you got the bomb!" Shannon: "Jimmy, let's see what else he can do." Jimmy: "Pretend you're attacking me." Pat: "No, no! Don't do that. He will literally kill you. He is trained to find drugs, though." Jimmy: "Find the drugs. Who's got the dope? Who's got the dope?" Shannon: "He's making a beeline for next door." Pat: "Oh, my... Mrs. Novich has glaucoma! Brad!"
2. Eileen: "What's that on your collar? Tomato?" Kenny: "Lipstick! I'm gay!" Eileen: "I'm not an idiot, Kenny. Did Sandra make you dinner?" Kenny: "N-no. No. Not at all. Wasn't dinner. It was just a very light snack. And it didn't mean anything."
3. Pat: "Now, teach Brad how to fetch. I know you can do it." Jimmy: "Dad, it doesn't fetch. Okay? It doesn't do anything. This plan is a huge bomb." [Brad fetches] Shannon: "Whoa! Look at him go!" Pat: "A bomb! He was on the bomb squad." Jimmy: "Oh, my God. Look how happy he is! Come here! Who got the bomb, huh? Yeah, you got the bomb!" Shannon: "Jimmy, let's see what else he can do." Jimmy: "Pretend you're attacking me." Pat: "No, no! Don't do that. He will literally kill you. He is trained to find drugs, though." Jimmy: "Find the drugs. Who's got the dope? Who's got the dope?" Shannon: "He's making a beeline for next door." Pat: "Oh, my... Mrs. Novich has glaucoma! Brad!"
Rush Hour -
1. Carter: "It's only because I showed up and kamikaze-d their plan. No offense." Lee: "Kamikaze is Japanese." Carter: "Fine, I ninja kicked their plan." Lee: "That's also Japanese."
2. Lee: "I understand my methods may seem cold to you. As soon as I find my sister, I will go back to my jovial ways." Carter: "Somehow I think jovial means something different in Chinese."
3. Lee: "Carter, this is why you have to respect your elders." Carter: "You beat up an old man, Lee." Lee: "You got beat up by an old man, Carter." Carter: "Touché."
3. Lee: "Carter, this is why you have to respect your elders." Carter: "You beat up an old man, Lee." Lee: "You got beat up by an old man, Carter." Carter: "Touché."
