The X-Files - Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster - Review

This week’s episode of The X-Files was so good, it just felt like it had never been away. “Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster” was written and directed by Darin Morgan. It was classic Mulder (David Duchovny) and Scully (Gillian Anderson) hijinks at their best. Proving that Duchovny and Anderson are equally adept at comedy and drama. The two main guest stars – Rhys Darby as Guy Mann and Kumail Nanjiani (of Silicon Valley) as Pasha – were both terrific. The cherry on top of this wonderfully layered sundae was the lovely tribute to Kim Manners as well as one to Jack Hardy – both names are seen on the gravestones in the graveyard scene. Manners’ also has his signature line “Let’s kick it in the ass” on his – his version of “action” before takes.

It’s clear from the introductory teaser scene that we are dealing with a somewhat silly episode. The two paint-huffing stoners (Nicole Parker Smith and Tyler Labine) actually appeared in two season three episodes – also written by Morgan. The happen upon what looks like a lizard-man attacking an animal control officer – Pasha. It turns out that there is a third man who is actually dead with his throat ripped out.

After the credits roll, we see Mulder throwing his ubiquitous pencils. Only, instead of throwing them at the ceiling, he throwing them at the wall – punching holes in an “I Want to Believe” poster. Of course, we saw him destroy his own poster last week. Everything seems to be opposite day when Mulder is not only throwing the pencils at the wrong place, but Scully walks in and tells him to stop defacing HER poster!

Mulder has been going through their old case files and many of the case have been explained!  He continues to be disillusioned. Scully, however, has just the thing to perk him up, and it’s hilarious to watch her glee in telling him that they have a new case and it has a monster in it! It’s as if she’s waving fresh meat under a dog’s nose. Mulder continues to play skeptic, however, saying it can all be shot down with common sense. Scully maintains that people have been killed so there’s still value in stopping whatever has been going on.

The monster next strikes at a truck stop where it attacks a prostitute, Annabelle (DJ Pierce). She identifies the monster, clarifying that it has two eyes, and telling them it was wearing underwear – tighty-whites be exact! She tells them that the cops think she’s on crack. Mulder asks her if she is, and she says yes! But that hasn’t impaired her ability to identify the monster! She confirms that the paint-huffers got it wrong in the artist’s sketch – the monster has two eyes, not three.

Mulder is disappointed that in this day of ubiquitous cell phones, no one has yet snapped a picture of the monster. Mulder and Scully run into the Animal Control Agent and a fresh kill. Mulder just starts snapping pictures and the strobing camera flash makes a modern blue-flashlight lighting signature. Pasha and Mulder are attacked by the lizard-man, and Scully finds them unconscious.

We see the lizard-man run past and Mulder and Scully chase him to a porta-potty. Upon flinging the door open there is a New Zealand man sitting there! He asks for privacy, and they shut the door. After they leave, he exits and we see horns disappear into the back of his neck! As an added bonus, Guy Mann is dressed almost exactly like Darrin McGavin’s character Kolchak from the The Night Stalker series from the seventies. The Night Stalker has often been cited as the inspiration for The X-Files and newspaper reporter Kolchak spent his time primarily tracking down monsters!

While Scully performs the autopsy on the latest victim, Mulder jumps about trying to show her the rather pointless pictures he was able to take. Most of them are just blurs, but he got one close up of himself – hilarious – and one of the creature’s skin. He admits it’s a creature – it shot blood out of it’s eyeballs at him! – he’s not yet willing to go to monster. Scully keeps pushing him, however, and he finally remarks, “you’re really enjoying yourself, aren’t you?” Scully admits that she is and says she’d “forgotten how much fun these cases were.”

Back at their creepy motel, Mulder is sleeping when he’s woken by screaming. He overhears a fight between the motel manager (Alex Diakun – an Easter Egg all on his own as he’s been in multiple classic episodes) and a guest of paying his bill and leaving or being killed! The manager maintains it was nothing, but Mulder investigates the abandoned room. It’s been trashed.

In the first scene, Mulder had discounted the existence of the jackalope, but he finds the (giant!) head of one on the wall of the motel room. He also discovers a hole in the wall for peeping where the head used to hang. Mulder discovers a hidden passageway with peep-holes into every room. How perfect is it that the stuffed head that he looks through at a sleeping Scully is a FOX head?! He tells the Manager he won’t report him if he tells him everything he saw.

The first thing we see him see is Mulder asleep in his iconic red speedo (season two – “Duane Barry)! And again, it’s perfect that the head hanging in Mulder’s room looks like a were-wolf. More importantly, he saw the guy freaking out at himself in the mirror and turning into a monster. The Manager identifies him as the guy from the porta-potty.

Finally, the old Mulder emerges! He tells Scully it could be a whole new paradigm of life itself or some big pharma genetic experiment gone wrong. It’s a monster! Scully is overjoyed – this is how she likes her Mulder! He says “So you agree?” And the world rights itself as she says, “No! You’re bat poop crazy!” And of course, Scully speaks for all of us – at least as far as how we like our Mulder!

Mulder goes to see the monster’s psychiatrist, Dr Rumanovitch (Richard Newman). He proceeds to tell Mulder the story of a man-eating dragon. The only way to stop it is with a green glass lance to the appendix! The end of the story, however, is that as the monster is dying, the constable hunting him is actually looking in a mirror – he was the monster all along. Rumanovitch cautions Mulder that the real monsters dwell in our heads or hearts.

Getting back to the were-lizard, Rumanovitch doesn’t believe the prescription he gave him did any good because he was pretty crazy! The were-lizard also liked to go walking in the graveyard. Mulder leaves, but not before the doctor gives him a prescription – who’s crazier? The man who believes he’s a were-lizard or the man who believes him? This is how I like my Mulder – wanting to believe!

Scully finds the suspect working in a Smart Phones… Is Us store and calls Mulder. There have been discrepancies in the blood work, but she keeps getting cut off before she can explain. By the time Mulder arrives the store has been trashed because the suspect went nuts, said he quit, and ran out. Mulder chews Scully out for approaching a dangerous suspect without back up and then chases said suspect to the cemetery – alone!

I loved that Mulder walked up to Kim Manners’ grave, laid flowers on it, and had a private moment. It was possibly the nicest tribute the show – and Duchovny – could have given him.

I also loved the way the story actually played out. Guy Mann – I love that both his names mean “man” because he really isn’t one! – he’s really a lizard-man! I also loved how he baited Mulder to kill him with the green glass – and how we see later that Mulder had brought his own bottle of green glass with him anyway. He tells Mulder that he was bitten and that turned him into a man. He woke up the day after being bitten self-aware and naked (and now bothered by it…) and he had to get a job! I loved him walking Mulder through his day – and the horror of it! Finally, at night he turned back into his true form, only to wake up the next day as a man again.

He gets himself a dog and calls him Dagoo. This is also hilarious as he’s a small, white dog. Dagoo was a 6’5” harpooneer from Moby Dick! And let’s face it, monsters are Mulder’s white whale! It’s when Dagoo is lost that Guy is able to identify the man who bit him. And let’s not forget that the one clear picture that Mulder got on his camera phone showed a human bite!

Mulder explains why Annabelle hit like a man when Guy ran into her at the truck stop and Guy is taken aback. Mulder remarks that he wants an external logic, and Guy points out that there is no internal logic. Guy also tells Mulder that he’s terrified of Jackalopes because one killed a friend of his – so they’re real!

I adored Guy’s version of what happened when Scully came into the store! He utterly makes up a porn version – and Anderson is terrific in this scene. She really is just as adept at comedy! Even better is when Guy and Mulder compare versions of Hamlet. As someone who began their university career in English literature, it warmed the cockles of my heart to have the First Folio of Hamlet brought up. And yes. Hamlet is also my favorite Shakespeare play. And yes. They totally got it right: “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy” becomes “… in OUR philosophy.” Thus the second expands the meaning to apply to all creatures, not simply Mulder.

When Scully calls from the animal shelter, Mulder’s ringtone is the theme of the show! Perfect. It turns out the murders were actually committed by human serial killer Pasha – who Scully takes down single handedly, once again earning her a reprimand from Mulder. Scully reminds him that she’s immortal – a fact we learned in season three’s “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose.” And Scully steals Dagoo!

Mulder goes after Guy. He finds him stripping in the forest. It’s time for his kind to go into hibernation – for about 10,000 years! He hopes that by the time he wakes up, he’ll stop transforming. I loved Mulder calling him a reptile and Guy remarking that was racist! Mulder also tells Guy he wants to believe. Guy tells Mulder he’s glad to have met him. They shake hands and Guy transforms and runs away. Mulder smiles and says “likewise.” He’s got his monster mojo back!

I loved the fan service in this episode. As a diehard X-Files fan, I think you would be hard pressed not to find a lot to love about this episode. I’m curious what non-diehard fans thought of it – weigh in below if you are new to the show! If you are a long time viewer, what did you think? Do you like the lighter episodes? Did you love all the Easter eggs? Favorite scene? Line? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

About the Author - Lisa Macklem

I do interviews and write articles for the site in addition to reviewing a number of shows, including Supernatural, Arrow, Agents of Shield, Agent Carter, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, The X-Files, Defiance, Bitten, Killjoys, and a few others! I'm active on the Con scene when I have the time. When I'm not writing about television shows, I'm often writing about entertainment and media law in my capacity as a legal scholar. I also work in theatre when the opportunity arises. I'm an avid runner and rider, currently training in dressage.

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