A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Lexa: "I'm sorry. It had to be this way to insure that Wanheda didn't fall into the hands of the Ice Queen. War is brewing, Clarke. I need you." Clarke (spitting on Lexa): "You b**. You wanted the Commander of Death, you got her. I'll kill you."
2. Hannah: "I'm staying with my son." Pike: "Damn right you are. Mount up. We're going back into hell."
3. Abby: "Generally a follow up appointment is about checking the old injury, not treating new ones." Jasper: "I was just trying to make the most of our time together, Doc."
1. Jarvis: “Miss Wendy, the powder room is that way.“ Peggy: “Oh, I-I’m so sorry. I get really confused around books.” (Mark Ondo)
2. Peggy: "You’re being a coward! You are so afraid of ruffling powerful feathers that you’re doing what you always do: Burying an ugly truth and hoping someone will pin a medal on you." (Mark Ondo)
3. Stark: "Who is Dottie Underwood?" Jarvis: "She kidnapped you? (confused stare) At gunpoint, not long ago. (still nothing) You were wearing your brown mohair jacket." Stark: (snaps fingers) "The Russian knock-out with the killer backhand." (Prpleight)
4. Jarvis: "If you need a sparring partner….I'm sure Mr. Stark would be more than happy to hire one for you."
5. Stark: "I always thought you should be in pictures, Peg. What do you say? Arlene French called in drunk. You want to play a sassy beer wench?" Carter: "I'd rather be the cowboy." Stark: "Oh I like it. I don't think the audience is ready yet." Carter: "But they're ready for a movie based on a comic book. Sounds like a dreadful idea."
6. Stark: "Film making isn't art. It's more than that. It's science, which is why I am going to beat these movie yahoos at their own game." Jarvis: "Because of your boundless modesty."
1. Rhoades: "Every once and awhile there's this thing we say. 'I am never so proud as when I choose not to prosecute a case.' And that's true, in theory, but every once and awhile I wish that I could just be more…human. But I haven't figured out how to do that and my job at the same time, you know." Dr. Wendy: "Being 100% good at your job and 100% good. If you figure that one out, let's both quit and write that book."
2. Axe: "My cholesterol's high enough. Don't butter my a**, Danzig. Just get smarter."
3. Axe: "Then again, what's the point of having f** you money if you never say f***you."
4. Ellis: "We will walk out of here if you don't honor the full amount." Axe: "No you won't. You need this $9 million because none of you, not one, has done a single day of work from the moment your miserable prick of a grandfather fell face down in the sand in Palm Beach and after reviewing your holdings, your business interests, your debts, I know that this check is the only thing standing between your family and bankruptcy. So pick it up, put it in your pocket, and walk out of here or I will."
1. Amy: "I love you." Jake: "Noice. Smort. [...] I love you too." (Laura Markus)
2. Jake: "Wait, where do the toilets on this boat go?" Doug: "You don't wanna know." Jake: "The pool?" Doug: "The ocean." Jake: "That's even worse. That's where my shrimp lives!" (Laura Markus)
3. Ray: "I cannot... even." (Laura Markus)
4. Rosa: "I smiled at you… For what?!" (Mark Ondo)
1. Rebecca: "So… You were right. It was a disaster but God, Josh was so nice. He found out that I’ve been lying and instead of turning his back on me, he just opened up more. He was so warm and kind and understanding. I love him so much." (Mark Ondo)
1. Sherlock: "You and I have had our differences to put it mildly, but I've always thought that at the very least you knew the content of my character. If you don't know without question that I'm not a killer, then there really is no foundation for us to build on. This experiment of ours has reached its end if for no other reason than to preserve my safety and Watson's. I do hope you'll agree. Oh and if you have any lingering doubts, here's how you can be certain I'm not the one who tried to kill you. You're alive."
2. Sherlock: "I see very much what I expected to see, a psychopath with no real human connections except the facades he maintains for convenience. A vampire of sorts, but instead of blood you feed on hopes and dreams." Trager: "Do one I haven't been called." Sherlock: "Very well. You're a double destroyer of lives. Once when you rope people into debt and then again when you use that debt to leverage them into doing your bidding."
3. Bell: "Is anything this kid's doing legal?" Sherlock: "Define legal."
1. Cisco: "Are you telling me I can see the future?" Wells: "That's exactly what I'm telling you." Cisco: "Those goggles are getting named immediately."
2. Flash: "You died." Thawne: "Good to know."
3. Wells: "Can you do me a favor and just shut up?"
4. Wells: "This is his original story and it's going to happen no matter what you do, but right here, right now, you can send him back to his time. You can save your friend. You can save Cisco and move on with your life." Joe: "This could be a good thing. You can finally let go of him." Barry: "I could throw him 3 centuries from now. He'll always be a part of me."
1. Sid: "Could he be mostly dead but not all dead, 'cause mostly dead is slightly alive." Sporin: "Yeah, that's not a thing."
2. Richard: "I just can't believe he's dead." Roberta: "It does seem awfully early in the season for something like this."
3. Sid: "Goodbye. Sorry that I made you die." Galavant: "Sid. It's not okay Sid." Madalena: "Yeah, I'm here. I'm not sure why." Galavant: "Me either. Seriously, who invited you?" Richard: "Hold me 'cause I'm gonna cry." Galavant: "No." Richard: "My Gal pal." Roberta: "Goodbye." Galavant: "Roberta." Roberta: "Seems as though we just said hi." Galavant: "Yeah well we did. Who's this?" Random: "I am just some random guy." Galavant: "What happened? I just run out of friends."
1. Beatrice: "My name is Beatrice, but people call me Trixie." Lucifer: "Trixie’s a hooker’s name." Beatrice: "What’s a hooker?" (Prpleight)
2. Chloe: "I have far too many bullets in this thing for you to still be talking."
3. Lucifer: "I've never understood the human desire to procreate." Chloe: "That's probably a good thing."
4. Lucifer: "I suggested you work with him, not sleep with him." Delilah: "Well I got confused."
1. Eliot: "On purpose. Like you guys cast it thinking, 'Oh monster from another world by all means come on in.' So you messed up."
2. Eliza: "There is no destiny, no born heroes. I can't tell you why..why the beast came sniffing for you. There's no reason it should be you. You can either step up to it or not. It's up to you. We'll just hope for the best."
3. Julia: "How am I supposed to trust you?" Marina: "Why would you ever trust anyone?"
1. Schmidt: “Winston, what’s the situation where you only saw one of her breasts?” Winston: “We were playing dinosaur.” (Mark Ondo)
1. Charlotte: "Please excuse my daughter's rude behavior." Maddie: "Yes, I'm much more affable when I'm not being institutionalized against my will."
2. Trish: "Guess what I got into. You'll never guess." Maddie: "Oh for the sake of friends and family, I hope it was downers."
3. Trish: "Because guess what? We are roomies. Oh you don't know how excited I am. I've been waiting so long to have a roommate that's not going through menopause," Maddie: "You know, you're crushing my will to live."
1. Toby: "Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a rocket with some bad fuel. If it launches now it'll crash straight into the Pacific. What do you do? What do you do!" Sylvester: "Why are you asking me that? I thought we just made a plan." Cabe: "Watch a movie sometime."
2. Toby: "What happened to your hipster boots?" Cabe: "Well those damn things almost got me killed. Almost died trying to be someone I'm not. I've got a VCR, I use Brylcreem, and I love John Wayne movies. This is who I am." Toby: "The oldest man in the world." Cabe: "Not old, experienced. And I'm find with myself just the way I am. I don't need a change."
3. Happy: "Okay, how do you not know Speed? A massive out-of-control bus, racing through Los Angeles. It's a classic flick." Sylvester: "Why would I watch that movie? I take the bus every day."
1. Rachel: "My father was here. That woman went to him and offered a deal." Mike: "Let me guess...they want me to turn on Harvey." Rachel: "They'll drop all the charges and you won't have to spend a minute in prison." Mike: "What did you tell him?" Rachel: "I told him that I would give you the message." Mike: "That you'd...give me...the message?" Rachel, you know there's no way in hell I am ever gonna turn on him, right? You know that?" Rachel: "Yes, I do." Mike: "Do you?" Rachel: "What's that supposed to mean?" Mike: "It means you should've told him that I'm loyal to everyone in my life, and I would rather go to jail than betray them!" Rachel: "I did tell him that!" Mike: "So then why didn't you tell me that you told him?" Rachel: "Because it's not what you asked me." Mike: "Tell me right now that the idea never crossed your mind that I should take this deal." Rachel: "Of course it popped into my head for a second." Mike: "So you think that I should just turn on them the second things look bad?" Rachel: "That is not what I said." Mike: "Is that what you're thinking of doing to me?" Rachel: "How could you even ask me that?" Mike: "I never even thought for a second that you would even consider an idea so disgusting as turning on Harvey." (Laura Markus)
2. Robert: "So you're gonna do exactly as I say, and I'm gonna help you get out of this thing." Mike: "No. There's no getting out of this thing." Robert: "Oh yes, there is, and you damn well know it. That woman doesn't get anything from prosecuting a fraud like you. But she would love to get Harvey Specter." Mike: "I'm not turning on Harvey." Robert: "Oh, he would do the same goddamn thing to you in a heartbeat!" Mike: "If you think that, then you don't know Harvey." Robert: "You're gonna listen to me: you're gonna get your head outta your ass, because I'm throwing you a goddamn lifeline. It's the only chance you're gonna get to save what's left of your miserable life." Mike: "I won't do it." (Laura Markus)
3. Harvey: "I'm telling you, I am his attorney. If you don't let me see him, I'm gonna break through that door." (Laura Markus)
1. Cat: "Miranda Crane is in town she is lightening rod for Bigots, Hippies and Aliens and yes that is the order in which I detest them." ~Cat Grant in reference to an arriving senator. (Donna Chidley)
2. Cat: " Because Kara while bigots will always take the gold on the medal podium of my contempt they make excellent click bait also the more they talk the more the sabotage themselves, it's a magical implosion happening right before ... ( I think she was going to say eyes but notices someone in her office) ~Just after in her offices again about the Senator to Kara (Donna Chidley)
3. Cat: " I've handled Putin, Pope Francis , Taylor Swift. This is my son. I will take it from here." ~Another Cat Grant gem this week was in reference to speaking to her son (Donna Chidley)
1. Sam: "Dean, when I was with Lucifer, he…um, he showed me things. It was like a highlight reel of my biggest failures." Dean: "Yeah, he was messing with you. That's what he does." Sam: "Give me a sec. I should have looked for you when you were in Purgatory. I…I should have turned over every stone, but I didn't. I stopped and I've never forgiven myself for it." Dean: "Well I have. Hey, that's in the past, man. What's done is done. All that matters now, all that's ever mattered, is that we're together so shut up and drink your beer."
2. Mildred: "West facing rooms cost extra. You know you have to pay for the view." Dean: "It's not bad." Mildred: "Not bad. Honey, it's almost as gorgeous as you are." Dean: "Ha!" Mildred: "You know tell me something. When's the last time you watched a sunset without waiting for something to go bump in the night? Hmm, you should try it sometime."
3. Dean: "Are you okay?" Sam: "No, I'm not actually. Not at all. Being so close to Lucifer again, it brought stuff up. Stuff I thought I'd forgot about." Dean: "You want to talk about it." Sam: "No." Dean: "Well look Lucifer's never getting out of that Cage ever and you are never going back. Period. So case closed…and so is this one."
1. Kid: "What's a mimosa?" Watson: "It's something women in their 20's order so they can feel better about drinking in the morning."
2. Watson: "A bully is someone who generally disregards your feelings, ignores your texts, and changes the password on your joint Netflix account 2 days after you break up."
3. Chelsea: "So I went out with a drug dealer….Jared S, make a better choice."
1. Parrish: "This guy's your father?" Argent: "Wasn't my choice."
2. Malia: "What's the problem?" Braeden: "Besides the fact that I've never seen this place beyond a few aerial photos and we're basically going in blind…him." Theo: "Would you mind not pointing that thing at me?" Malia: "He's coming with us." Braeden: "He tried to kill Scott." Theo: "Technically, I did kill Scott." Braeden: "I should kill you." Theo: "Won't happen with a shotgun."
3. Stiles: "Maybe you can wake up and explain it to me. Oh come on, Lydia. You have to come back to us. There's no way we're getting through this without you. Lydia, you have to wake up."
1. Mulder: "I blacked out after Goldman's eyes popped out of his sockets. Believe me. You can't un-see that."
2. Scully: "Mulder, I'm not a fragile little girl." Mulder: "Scully…" Scully: "This is what you suspected all along but were afraid to articulate. Is this what you believe happened to me 15 years ago? When I got pregnant? When I had my baby? Was I just an incubator?" Mulder: "You're never just anything to me, Scully." Scully: "Do you ever think about William?" Mulder: "Yes, of course I do but I've…I feel like I've had to put that behind me." Scully: "He'd be 15 years old now and I've missed every single year of his life. Sometimes I hate myself that I didn't have the courage to stand by him."
3. Mulder: "Tell Skinner to set it up." Scully: "Seriously?" Mulder: "And don't pretend I'm going alone."
1. Diana: "The New Yorker? Is there no class left in this world?"
2. Jade: "Last week I watched a cover girl's waist get Photoshopped down to the size of my pinkie, her chest inflated to alien Barbie-sized proportions, and her wrinkles virtually expunged. All this business does is perpetuate the wanked out notion that youth and beauty are the only things that define a woman's worth. I would rather slit my carotid artery than spend one more day in an industry that faults me simply for growing older."
3. Liza: "Remember the good old days when you could take an embarrassing photo without fear that it would be posted on a worldwide platform for millions of eyes to see where it feasibly could exist until the end of days." Maggie: "Why do you think I still own a Polaroid?"
