A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Lexa: "I'm the Commander. No one fights for me."
2. Monty: "For 3 months I've watched you torture yourself and everyone around you, mostly me, but I'm done being your punching bag. Either you pull yourself together and get on with your life or you fall apart alone."
3. Roan: "Get it over with." Lexa: "Blood must have blood."
4. Lexa: "You're driven to fix everything for everyone but you can't fix this. I have to do this on my own and you have to let me."
Agent Carter:
1. Jarvis: "You know these adventures, they're only enjoyable if you return from them, Miss Carter." Carter: "I heartily concur, Mr. Jarvis."
2. Jarvis: "For the record, that was nothing like baking a soufflé."
3. Sousa: "Doctor, how's the door coming?" Samberly: "How's the not blowing us up coming?" Sousa: "Fair enough."
4. Carter: "It's funny. I'm seeing Daniel Sousa but I'm hearing Jack Thompson."
Brooklyn 99:
1. Ray: "Brawling with other police officers? What were you thinking?" Jake: "Sir, I had nothing to do with it. I was just arresting a dirty cop." Ray: "I heard you scream out, "I LOVE THIS!"" Jake: "Yeah, 'this' being justice. I love justice." (Laura Markus)
2. Gina: "Why are you doing this? You hate people in your space." Ray: "Nonsense, I'm an easygoing chap." Gina: "Okay, I once saw you use a ruler to measure another ruler." Ray: "It was off by half a centimeter. It never should have been in circulation." (Laura Markus)
3. Ray: "You're acting like little children playing basketball who've fallen behind by several two pointer buckets, so you take your basket home and now no one else can play." Terry: "I know it's not the time, but you gotta watch basketball if you're gonna try and reference it." (Laura Markus)
The Flash:
1. Barry: "Not bad for a guy who got a C in gym." Cisco: "D+" Caitlyn: "Straight up F right here." (Nirat Anop)
2. Killer Frost: ”Which of your lounge lizards are in the wrong universe?" (Nirat Anop)
3. Cisco: "Doppel…” Reverb: “…ganger" (Nirat Anop)
4. Cisco: ”Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore." (Nirat Anop)
5. Cisco: ”I’m not sure what's worse. That you're part of Zoom's gang or that weird Samurai situation you got going on the top of your head there." (Nirat Anop)
6. Cisco: ”Look, Mirror Mirror, I already said I'm not going Dark Side with you." (Nirat Anop)
7. Cisco: “Ronnie? Is Martin Stein in there?” Ronnie: “Oh, I haven't let him out in years. Doesn't talk much anymore.” (Nirat Anop)
Fresh Off the Boat:
1. Marvin: "Yeah I know you think that romance is all about the big gestures, son, but it's about the little things too. You want to hear the most romantic thing Honey ever did for me? Well one day I came home late from golf and there on the table I saw a pair of overeasy eggs that Honey had left for me. I ate them up. I passed out with the plate on my chest and when I came to I looked down. What did I find? Another pair of eggs. She knew that I'd want more. More eggs. Those are the little things. That's romance, son."
2. Louis: "I lost 2 pounds but gained a wife."
3. Honey: "Why didn't you tell me about her?" Marvin: "I just didn't want you to think I was bad at marriage. I mean one divorce, that's life. Two divorces, that's a pattern. Boopsy, I just didn't want to give you another reason to think that it wouldn't work out with me."
Grey's Anatomy:
1. Meredith: “I just spent six weeks in a bed, unable to speak. When that happens you see things. A lot of things people don’t say to each other that they should just say. So I need you to hear me when I say this: I know I’ve needed you a lot lately, but I know Jo loves you. Post-it on the wall loves you. Don’t just ignore that. You can have more than one person, I used to think you couldn’t. But it turns out I have a whole damn village. So you don’t have to worry about me. Go be with Jo, I’ll be fine. I’m okay.” (Nirat Anop)
2. Meredith: “In group settings, men are 75% more likely to speak up than women, and when a woman does speak up, it’s statistically probable her male counterparts will either interrupt her, or speak over her. It’s not because they’re rude, it’s science, the female voice is scientifically proven to be more difficult for a male brain to register. What does this mean? It means, in this world, where men are bigger, stronger, faster, if you’re not ready to fight, the silence will kill you.” (Nirat Anop)
How to Get Away with Murder:
1. Asher: "Hey bromo, do you have any Jay-Z or something not so stereotypically gay?" Oliver: "They're my records, they should be gay!" Asher: "Right." Connor: "His dad just died. Be nice." Oliver: "How much longer until he leaves? [...] He doesn't seem that upset." Connor: "Yeah, well...he's doing a pretty good job at hiding it." (Laura Markus)
2. Annalise: "How's the baby? Oh god, I thought if it didn't stop crying I might smother it. [...] What's wrong? Did you do something to him?" Bonnie: "There is no baby, Annalise." Annalise: "No Bonnie...I told you. There was a woman at the door and she was hysterical and she put the baby in my arms and I didn't want the baby." Bonnie: "No, it was in your head. Like last time." Annalise: "You're messing with me." (Laura Markus)
3. Laurel: "Michaela, it's Caleb." Connor: "You got this." (Laura Markus)
4. Wes: "You think I want to hurt you." Annalise: "I think…I think you ruined me. Get out."
5. Frank: "Just promise me you're not going to use them to kill her." Bonnie: "Frank…" Frank: "Like that's a crazy question anymore."
6. Michaela: "Exams are in a month in case you forgot." Connor: "You mean in case he's been distracted by all of the murders."
iZombie:
1. Liv: "Aww, he swiped right. I'm sure your Tinder photo is hair-centric, flattering, but how do you spin that bio? 'I'm a humble guy always down for a hike. Or we could just murder and chill’?” (Nirat Anop)
2. Liv: “Buzzfeed teaches us that when a man abruptly changes his plans, he's up to no good.” (Nirat Anop)
3. Ravi: “One hundred fifty three people watched you unpack a box. How? Why?” (Nirat Anop)
Legends of Tomorrow:
1. Snart: "Now you're annoying in multiple languages."
2. Ray: "Really? We're trying to save the world and you're lifting wallets?" Snart: "It's called multitasking."
3. Rory: "You better kill me now. If I ever get my hands on you, I'm going to get all Rocky 4 on your a**."
4. Snart: "Damn that was cold, even by a Russian's standards."
Limitless:
1. TheScrubJay: "I hear you like the naked pale man." Brian: "You know, I really hope that's how you start all your negotiations." (Laura Markus)
2. Naz: "There's nothing wrong with an agent showing some initiative." Ike: "In Spike's case, there is." Naz: "All right, what have you got?" Mike: "Oh, that's beautiful." Ike: "Oh, thanks, man. The shadows were a little tricky." Mike: "Well, we wanted to find out why Spike was so motivated to impress Finch." Ike: "So we decided to tail him." Mike: "And after a few dead ends, we noticed every morning he was going for coffee at Café Maceo, which is 40 blocks in the opposite direction of his home." Ike: "I mean, sure, they have a pumpkin spice latte that will make you see God-" Mike: "But right next door is a mailbox and packaging store." Ike: "And we asked the owner, and he said Spike drops off an envelope every day to the same address in D.C. ADIC Johnson's home." Naz: "You think Agent Spike is a, uh, mole reporting to Johnson?" Mike: "We figured Johnson wants to avoid digital communication after the fiasco with his phone hack." Ike: "The micropenis incident." Naz: "I remember. Thank you very much. Please. [...] Could you send in Agent Spike? [...] By the way, as it turns out, that position with the CJC won't be available as soon as I thought, but I think we can transfer you to Organized Crime to get you back out in the field." Mike: "Actually, I'd prefer to stay on Finch detail until then." Naz: "Great." (Laura Markus)
3. Mike: "So, what'd they tell you about the job?" Spike #1: "They told me there was a lot they couldn't tell me. It's bodyguard detail. You need backup." Ike: "It's been a lot for two people. Plus, I've been in and out of rehab. I took a bullet." Mike: "That doesn't usually happen." Spike #1: "So, I'd be helping you two protect some kind of super-genius?" Ike: "That's really just sometimes. The rest of the time, he's-" Mike & Ike [in unison]: "Brian." Mike: "We give him the pill once a day. It enhances his cognition." Ike: "For the 12 hours it lasts, Brian is capable of incredible things." Mike: "He becomes the best agent in the most elite division of the FBI. So, you ready to meet the man? This is Brian Finch." Brian: "Spike! Nice to meet you." Spike #1: "My name's [name redacted]." Brian: "No, that's Mike, that's Ike. You're Spike. Is there a problem?" Spike #1: "No." Brian: "All right, good. Pleased to meet you." (Laura Markus)
3. Mike: "I want that man gone." Ike: "What happened?" Mike: "I've seen things I can't unsee. There's no way I'm leaving you with that naked a** suck up."
4. Naz: "Gentleman, please keep the Finch-esque theatrics to a minimum, yeah."
5. Walker: "That is a special kind of crazy."
Recovery Road:
1. Vernon: "Practice your steps." Cynthia: "Salsa steps or THE steps?" Vernon: "Both."
2. Margarita: "What is this reality show mess really about?" Trish: "What do you care?" Margarita: "I'm asking aren't I?" Trish: "If I get on Fool House I'll be famous and famous people don't get their kids taken away from them. I just want my little girl back." Margarita: "You really want your daughter back, then you need to get yourself a real job. Show everyone you got your life together, you know?" Trish: "Well how am I supposed to do that? I can't even get hired at Urban Chic and their clothes suck." Margarita: "You can start waiting tables at Margarita's." Trish: "Really?" Margarita: "Go set that table. It won't set itself, you know. "
3. Maddie: "Oh my gosh, I love that show." Laurel: "What is it?" Maddie: "It's like Big Brother only not as classy." Laurel: "Oh dear."
Scorpion:
1. Walter: "I'm sorry." Toby: "Huh?" Walter: "Whatever I did that made you so mad at me. I mean I know I have relationship problems. I can barely speak to my parents. I can't date a woman for more than a few months, but I do try to be a cognizant friend to you, to Happy, Sly 'cause we're supposed to understand each other."
2. Walter: "He's intentionally antagonistic." Toby: "Actually I'm half antagonistic on my mother's side but my father's 100% oppositional."
3. Paige: "He is your responsibility so if he gets hurt, cut, so much as a hair out of place, you will not like me very much." Sylvester: "Not sure I like you very much right now." Paige: "Good."
Shades of Blue:
1. Woz: "You been talking to the Feds." Sap: "It's not like that. They picked me up. They said they were gonna put me away. I had no choice, Woz." Woz: "Neither do I." Sap: "Whoa!" (Laura Markus)
2. Harlee: "Man, could he make me laugh. He was, like, charismatic, and handsome. And I don't know; he made me feel special. And that wasn't something a lot of people made me feel back then." Cristina: "Those are all the letters he wrote me?" Harlee: "Yeah. There's a lot of them." Cristina: "I don't know; shouldn't I at least write him back?" Harlee: "I guess that's gonna be up to you. You know, these letters are yours now, if you want them. But there's something that I need you to see first." Cristina: "He did this to you? When? That time?" Harlee: "Couple years before you were born." Cristina: "Why didn't you leave him?" Harlee: "I think I didn't want to be alone. Then I met someone, and I saw a chance at a better life with a better man than Miguel." Cristina: "My dad." Harlee: "I wanted him to be. But when he found out I was pregnant, he took off. And I tried to tell Miguel the truth, but he didn't want to believe that you weren't his. And things got scary again. [...] Baby, don't, don't cry, okay? This doesn't, this doesn't hurt me anymore, all right? It just, it just reminds me of how strong I've become." Cristina: "I don't think I need these anymore." (Laura Markus)
Suits:
1. Harvey: "What's that?" Jessica: "What does it look like?" Harvey: "Looks like something I don't have time for." Jessica: "Well, make time!" Harvey: "Jessica, we've got a thousand boxes of shit to go through, and I've got trial in two weeks." Jessica: "What?" Harvey: "That's right, the date's been set. So I'm sorry that I can't have a doughnut with you right now, but I've got something a little more important to deal with." Jessica: "Harvey, I understand, but our clients are being circled. Our reputation's getting tanked, and we're getting sent shit associates." Harvey: "And Mike Ross is facing prison." Jessica: "And you're handling one thing, while I'm handling everything else." Harvey: "Jessica-" Jessica: "No, never mind, Harvey. It's clear that you really don't care about keeping this firm together." Harvey: "I resigned to keep this firm together." Jessica: "Well, it sure doesn't seem to be working out that way, does it?" (Laura Markus)
2. Mike: "Harvey, I'm not sure this is the best idea." Harvey: "We need to know what she has. What's the downside?" Mike: "The downside is that we move up the trial." Harvey: "Mike, this trial's coming, whether we like it or not. And the more time we have knowing her game plan, the better off we'll be." Mike: "Holy shit." Harvey: "What?" Mike: "I took the LSATs with this guy." Harvey: "So what?" Mike: "So he can give Gibbs something she doesn't even have on me yet." Harvey: "Yes, but to do that, he'd be ruining his whole career. Which means, even if he remembers you, he's more afraid of you than you are of him. So calm the hell down." (Laura Markus)
3. Sheila: "Louis. What are you doing here? We've been over this. There's nothing I can do-" Louis: "I'm not here about the associates. I need you to take this." Sheila: "What's that?" Louis: "It's a ticket to Argentina. I need you to go there until the trial is over." Sheila: "And why would I do that?" Louis: "Because the prosecution has no power to subpoena you there." Sheila: "Let me get this straight. You want me to flee the country, so you can protect yourself." Louis: "I want you to flee the country so you can protect yourself." Shelia: "Louis-" Louis: "Sheila, you take that stand, and you're gonna say things that hurt us, which means Harvey is going to say things that hurt you and I will not be able to handle that." Sheila: "The truth isn't gonna hurt me, Louis." Louis: "Isn't it true, Ms. Sazs, that while you claim no one had unauthorized access to the Harvard file room, there were times you were derelict in your duties?" Sheila: "I've never been derelict in my life." Louis: "Then how does that explain the fact that there's a man in this courtroom that had unauthorized access to that very room?" Sheila: "Louis, please." Louis: "Was it because you had a relationship with that man? A relationship that ultimately failed?" Sheila: "That's not-" Louis: "Relevant? It's more than goddamn relevant! Because when he broke up with you, you started this vicious rumor to get back at him." Sheila: "That's a lie. Those are all lies." Louis: "It is a lie that you had sex with that man, and left him alone in the supposedly impenetrable Harvard file room?" Sheila: "Louis, this could cost me my job." Louis: "Goddamn it! Harvey's not gonna care." Sheila: "No. It's not a lie." Louis: "And if you did that with him why should we believe you didn't do that with others? [...] I'm sorry. Sheila, I'm only trying to protect you." Sheila: "If you really wanted to protect me, you wouldn't tell Harvey those things in the first place." Louis: "He's gonna want me to tell him. Anything I know that would help. You asked me to not make you lie. Please, don't ask me to lie to him." Sheila: "Okay, Louis. I'll go." (Laura Markus)
Supergirl:
1. Hank: "She never stopped believing Astra could be saved. That's the difference between soldiers and heroes." Alex: "Sir, why did you lie to Kara?" Hank: "Because you're Supergirl's hero. And I don't want her to see you as anything other than that." (Nirat Anop)
Supernatural:
1. Dean: "The Art of Dyeing. Well can't say she didn't warn ya'."
2. Melissa: "What kind of FBI agents are you?' Dean: "The fake kind."
3. Dean: "It was Amara." Sam: "That surprise you?" Dean: "That doesn't surprise you?" Sam: "Honestly…" Dean: "Honestly? What? You seriously think the sister of God is my deepest, darkest desire?" Sam: "She isn't?" Dean: "No. She can't be." Sam: "Why not?" Dean: "Why? Because if she was then that means I'm…." Sam: "It means you're what? Complicit, weak, evil?" Dean: "For starters, yeah." Sam: "Dean, do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She's the sister of God and for some reason she picked you and that sucks but if you think I'm gonna blame you or judge you, I'm not." Dean: "You know that I want her a** dead." Sam: "Yes, of course, and I know you've also probably beaten yourself up a million times over it, but where's that gotten us? Just how bad is it?" Dean: "Standing here right now, every bone in my body wants to run her through, send her back to that hole she crawled out of. But when I'm near her, I don't know. Something happens and I can't explain it but to call it desire or love? It's not that. I'm screwed, man. We want to kill the Darkness. We need to kill the Darkness and I don't think I can. And I'm sorry to do that to you, you know, but when it comes down to it…." Sam: "I've got it Dean."
Teen Wolf:
1. ScienceMom: "Could somebody please get my daughter out of this hellhole?"
2. Stiles: "I'm not paying for the windows."
3. Stiles: "Okay, you've got to try to stay on your feet. The plan didn't work out too well so we need your help, okay?" Lydia: "You had a plan?" Stiles: "Yeah, it looked good on paper. Not so much in reality." Lydia: "Oh."
4. Mason: "Okay, here we go. I'm gonna ram the wall. Gonna ram it with my car. Just smash through it, take out the power, and save my friends. Here we go. Alright, just ram it and destroy my beautiful car that my parents bought me on my birthday…but I'm gonna save my friends. Here we go. Ram the wall. Alright." Hayden: "What the hell are you doing?" Mason: "Oh, thank God. Can we use your car?"
The X-Files:
1. Scully: "Please, mom, don't go home yet. I need you." (Nirat Anop and Dahne)
2. Scully: "I don't care about the big questions right now, Mulder. I just want one more chance to ask my mother a few little ones." (Nirat Anop)
3. Scully: "I believe that you will find all of your answers. You will find the answers to the biggest mysteries and I will be there when you do…but my mysteries? I’ll never have the answer." (Nirat Anop)
4. Scully: "I want to believe … I need to believe that we didn't treat [William] like trash." (Nirat Anop)
5. Scully: "Back in the day didn't we ever come across the ability to just wish someone back to life?" Mulder: "I invented it when you were in the hospital like this." Scully: "You're a dark wizard, Mulder." Mulder: "What else is new?"
6. Mulder: "What? I wasn't going to shoot the kid. And I don't do stairs anymore." Scully: "Back in the day, I used to do stairs and in 3-inch heels." Mulder: "Back in the day. Scully, back in the day is now."
7. Mulder: "I'm here."
Younger:
1. Lauren: "But what about your Hindu goddess?" Maggie: "I have to say she looks pretty damn good in cashmere."
2. Liza: "I'm sorry you had to hear all that." Josh: "Oh, it's okay. Uh, we better get busy though before you just fall apart."
3. Liza: "I loved you in Flashdance."
4. Josh: "Well you know, I did a little research. Turns out, you know what the cure for 40-year-old shoulder is?" Liza: "What?" Josh: "26-year-old massage."
5. Liza: "It's like she's been writing her autobiography 140 characters at a time."