A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
The 100 -
1. Lexa: "Would anyone else care to question my decisions?"
2. Sinclair: "Raven, come on. You're not fooling anyone." Raven: "I'm not trying to." Sinclair: "If this machine was broken and you knew there was a way to fix it, would you not do it because it might be hard? Why the resistance? You think you deserve this pain. That this is your cross to bear for your mom, for Finn, for all you've been through. It's not. You deserve more and with the medial equipment in this building, Abby can help you. Let her." Raven: "What if she can't? What if I'm just broken?" Sinclair: "I took a chance on a zero-G mechanic with a heart defect. Why don't you take a chance on her too?"
3. Sinclair: "We'll keep working the tech angle. Hopefully one of us will get lucky." Raven: "Like that's ever happened."
Arrow - 1. Felicity: "The Calculator now has everything he needs to destroy the internet. I love the internet." Roy: "I can’t believe you shot me." Oliver: "Really?"
The Big Bang Theory -1. Penny: "What is that?" Leonard: "Roses, Ben-Gay, and Dr. Scholl's foot powder." Penny: "Yep, Grandma by Calvin Klein."
2. Claire: "We're both adults. We can still get together without it meaning anything." Raj: "Not me. Ever since you admitted we had a vibe, I've been planning our wedding." Claire: "Look, it's just coffee. I'll ask you some questions about science and if you propose, I promise to say no."
3. Meemaw: "Is that nice to say to your friend." Sheldon: "It isn't, Meemaw. Sorry, Leonard." Leonard: "Could you please live with us forever?"
1. Samar: "I'm going to go talk to the DEA and you are going to go to SwagForMommy.com and hunt for some cute onesies." Liz: "SwagForMommy.com? Who are you?" Samar: "A Jewish mother. Part of my Mosad training."
2. Reddington: "The FBI admitted to spending…what, a billion dollars on facial recognition software? Which means at least $3 billion. Honestly if I paid taxes I'd be outraged."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine - 1. Jake: "Alright, what I'm about to say will make you very horny, but you have to try and remember that we're still at work. Do you want me to quiz you?" Amy: "Oh god, yes." Jake: "Wow. Great, okay."
2. Rosa: "Boyle is fully nude in the footage." Terry: "WHHHHHYYYYYYY?"
3. Karen: "I got you your favourite cake. Blue." Jake: "I'm not hungry. [...] It's a figure of speech. Obviously I'll have some."
Code Black -1. Jesse: "As healers we fight death every day. That doesn't mean I'm not hoping he dies. Better for Malia. Maybe you too. You've been through a lot, Angus." Angus: "I'm okay." Jesse: "You know better than to lie to your Mama."
2. Ed: "It's just until Taylor returns. It's not forever." Rorish: "That's what they said about Afghanistan."
3. Jesse: "Don't let this change you. Don't let this destroy the goodness that's in you. That would be the real tragedy."
Colony - 1. Phyllis: "The people you have gotten involved with are not who they appear to be. These kinds of movements prey on idealists like you. You want to make a difference, but they will use you and cast you aside. They will destroy your life without conscience. You're wondering if you have a choice. You don't. You work for me now."
2. Phyllis: "There's no version of an effective resistance. There's just misguided idealism that leads to death and despair."
Elementary -1. Gregson: "So Neal got a taste of his son's crazy. That kind of thing normally isn't contagious."
2. Watson: "We really are living in a golden age for perverts."
3. Watson: "Spoiler alert - he gets on the A train and stays there all night."
Galavant - 1. All: "It's a good die today." Queen: "Oh please, this isn't Game of Thrones."
2. Gareth: "Richard, stand behind me." Richard: "I will not. I will stand beside you."
3. Galavant: "It's a good day to die." King: "But we won't. There's one more episode." Galavant: "But still we could die." Gareth: "We all know that's a massive load of…"
4. Richard: "I have a dragon."
The Good Wife - 1. Eli: "You did end up with Will. You act like I prevented the love affair of the ages but you two did end up together and I did not keep you from doing that."
2. Schakowsky: "Are you out of your tiny, little mind Mrs. Florrick?" Alicia: "You don't need to say little when you say tiny, one or the other will do."
3. Lucca: "What did you do to her?" Jason: "No. Uh-uh, I was in California." Lucca: "Come on, you screwed with her head." Jason: "No, I didn't." Lucca: "You did your smile thing, your bedroom-eyes BS, the 'Oh, I'm just a guy's guy, I don't know what I do to women...'"
4. Alicia: "I was in love. He died.I found out he left me a message that he loved me but I didn't get it. Now I'm sick to death of... everything. This apartment. This laundry. The fact that things get dirty. The law. Just... standing here. Sometimes I swear I just want to go into my bedroom, pull the covers over my head, and never do anything ever again."
5. Alicia: "I was loved! And it's over- over. So why am I doing this?!"
6. Lucca: "You are here because I need you here. I don't like people. But I like you."
iZombie -1. Clive: "Would one of you give me a hand signal or something when you're about to say something useful?"
2. Blaine: "I told you it was a coincidence." Dale: "Seems pretty unlikely." Blaine: "Yeah, that's what coincidence means."
3. Liv: "The Upright Position as read by Kristen Bell. I've always felt a kind of connection to her."
1. Jackson: "You're screwing with history here, man." Snart: "Yeah well history screwed with me first."
2. Stein: "It's the size of an iceberg. It seems highly unlikely that you could miss it." Ray: "Heh, that's probably what they said on the Titanic."
3. Sarah: "There's no magical cure for what's wrong with me." Hunter: "Of course there is. It's called being better."
4. Heat Wave: Can I kill him? Captain Cold: You got a pair on you kid. I respect that. Heat Wave: So no shooting.
1. Woz: "Wow, empty theatre. How's your eye?" Donnie: "Been hit harder by Girl Scouts." Woz: "Heard you had a visitor." Donnie: "FBI agent said I'm stepping on his toes and I should back off. [...] I put a few surveillance men on your crew." Woz: "Why would you do that?" Donnie: "To find the leak. And this confirms it. The feds are on to us. You definitely have a rat in your house." Woz: "Yeah, and there's one right in front of me." Donnie: "It wasn't an official detail. I was just trying to help. You're too close to this, Matt." Woz: "I want every photo. Memory cards, too. You expose me and my crew again, I'm gonna do a hell of a lot more than give you a bruised eye." Donnie: "I was just trying to ease the burden." Woz: "Back off. I'm on to one of my people." Donnie: "Who?" Woz: "Yeah. Donnie: "The sooner you take care of this, the sooner we can move forward with the job." Woz: "We got heat all over us and you're still raring to go?" Donnie: "Don't let fear cost you the payday of a lifetime."
2. Woz: "Welcome back." Raul: "I needed you to hear me, homie." Woz: "And you thought he best way to do that was to steal my pride, because why? Because a man's pride is all that really matters. Raul: "We could still work something out. I'm the only one who knows what's up." Woz: "Problem is, you're under the assumption that I'm not proud of a certain part of myself." Raul: "Yeah, 'cause if I was you, I couldn't look in the mirror." Woz: "I have large appetites. I like a full menu. Variety."
3. Stahl: "Sorry to barge in - I didn't see an assistant anywhere." Donnie: "She insists on taking lunch. Are you lost? Stahl: "Special Agent Robert Stahl, FBI." Donnie: "Donnie Pomp, Internal Affairs." Stahl: "Wife or mistress?" Donnie: "Ah. Incline bar." Stahl: "Mistress is a better story." Donnie: "Yeah, tell that to my ex-wife. So, uh, what can I do for you, Agent Stahl?" Stahl: "I just wanted to drop by, let you know we're in your backyard and we seem to be kicking over the same rocks." Donnie: "Really? Nothing I can think of warrants federal attention." Stahl: "Well, it's a few detectives in the 64th. Lieutenant Wozniak's unit. You've got a surveillance detail on them." Donnie: "I might." Stahl: "Well, I'd love to know what your angle is." Donnie: "Just a routine integrity check. Nothing to waste ink on." Stahl: "Good. 'Cause the Bureau needs you to put that on ice for a minute. One of your follow cars was made the other day, I got word." Donnie: "You got word, huh? You got someone on the inside?" Stahl: "Newton's third law. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction." Donnie: "Hey, come on, we're on he same side here. Maybe I can help you out." Stahl: "Well, it's probably best if I don't say anything, and that's nothing personal, you understand." Donnie: "No, of course." Stahl: "Tell you what. If you're serious about helping out, he best thing you can do is call off your dogs." Donnie: "Consider it done, but maybe, as a professional courtesy, you could let me know if you find anything on these guys." Stahl: "I'll try to quid pro quo. I can't promise you anything, Donnie." Donnie: "Fair enough. [kicks desk] Prick."
Suits - 1. Anita: "Why the hell isn't he [Gerard] here right now to verify this thing?" Harvey: "Because that kid [Mike] cares more about Donna Paulsen than he does about himself."
2. Gretchen: "When Jack Soloff nominated Mike Ross for partner, I know it hurt Harvey a little because he wanted to be the one to do it."
3. Harvey: "Son of a bitch, it's Henry Gerard." Mike: "Harvey, if Gerard was gonna say something, why would he wait until now?" Harvey: "I don't know, but it's the only goddamn person it could be." Mike: "Alright then, I'm gonna go and see him." Harvey: "And do what?" Mike: "I'm gotta get to him before Gibbs does. Get him to recant." Harvey: "This isn't testimony, it's a tip to a crime you actually committed." Mike: "I don't care! We have leverage on Gerard." Harvey: "Were you in there? This woman has her sights on both of us. You go up to Boston, she's gonna have her people crawling all over Harvard, and you're gonna be the one who lead her to Gerard." Mike: "I can't just sit here and wait for the sword to drop." Harvey: "Wait a second...you can't go there, and I can't go there. But I know someone who can."
Supernatural - 1. Claire: "I solemnly swear not to hunt like a dumbass."
2. Claire: "Can we talk about the body now?" Dean: "Oh I'm not even near finished. You need to show Jody a little respect. She did you a huge solid by taking you in. She got you set up in school." Claire: "I don't want to go to school." Dean: "Nobody wants to go to school, Claire. It's school." Claire: "Exactly." Dean: "My point is she's been busting her a** to get you set up with a life. She's feeding you. Hell you've got a nicer room than I do now. She kept you out of jail." Claire: "I never asked her to." Dean: "And that's what I'm talking about. You need to act like you give a cr**. You need to appreciate what that woman has done."
3. Dean: "You know there are starving children out there." Sam: "Dude, I'm not going to survive hundreds of monster attacks to get flat lined by some double doughnut monstrosity."
The X-Files - 1. Scully: "The third victim wasn't wearing any clothes." Mulder: "Maybe he was a nudist. Took a midnight hike in the nude, got attacked by a wolf or a lion or a bear, maybe all at the same time. That's how I'd like to go out."
2. Scully: "The uniqueness of the wounds indicates a human element." Mulder: Awwww Scully, I gave up profiling before I gave up monsters. Ya seen one serial killer, ya seen 'em all."
3. Scully: "And, animals don't shoot blood out of their eyeballs." Mulder: "Oh no?! Well, tell that to the lizard. Which shoots blood out of its eyeballs, Scully. Yes. It's a scientific fact." Scully: "Mulder, the internet is not good for you."
1. Liam: "You still mad at me?" Mama McCall: "No, but if you try to kill my son again I'll put you in one of these myself."
2. Theo: "I still need to graduate." Stiles: "No, no, what you need is to be beaten severely with a lead pipe wrapped in barbed wire." Theo: "Okay, I admit that mistakes were made." Stiles: "Murders. Some murders were made."
3. Malia: "You did it before. You had to learn how, right?" Kira: "Actually no. It just happened." Malia: "How did you learn to fight with the sword?" Kira: "That just kind of happened too." Malia: "So you've never worked for anything and basically you're a cheater?"
1. Leanne: "How'd you know they aren't professional rapists?" Rhonda: "I don't think that's something you can get paid for."
2. Rhonda: "So you're NOT a white supremacist?" Leanne: "No I am. I just ain't dumb enough to think this is a good look."
3. General: "You think when Roosevelt greenlit the Manhattan Project he knew the detail? You think when Kennedy promised there'd be a man on the moon by the end of the 60's, he had any idea how? Now these are great men. They announced the intention then made it happen and that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna tell the world we're gonna save the world and then we work out how we do it."
1. Liza: "Alright here are all the people who know me as a 40 year old mom from New Jersey. Now this seemed like a fairly harmless distant group of people but as it turns out it was really a dormant sleeper cell that just got activated by my daughter. Now over here are all the people who think I'm a 26 year old publishing assistant. I like to think of these people as a nuclear power plant that's like gonna explode at any moment." Maggie: "You know that's not how you play Risk but go on."
2. Maggie: "Your life is not a board game. It's a spider web." Liza: "Then I should be okay, right? Because I'm the spider." Maggie: "I think you're also the fly."
3. Josh: "Come on. If we're gonna have this relationship, we have to talk. You can't hide from everything."
