A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team this past week. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off below the article.
1) Felicity - "Your texts were “911” “OMG” ASAP” and 5 exclamation points. I do not have time to respond to something that doesn’t contain one actual word." (Prpleight)
2) Felicity - "Oh my God this must be what talking to me is like." (Prpleight)
3) Oliver: "A part of me has always wanted you to see what kind of man I really am! I didn't expect to wind up finding out what kind of man you really are." (Ben)
1) Ash: "First thing I've got to do is see a guy about a book. There must be some spell I can say to undo all of this. The other first thing I've got to do is some cardio because my heart is jack hammering like a quarterback on Prom night."
2) Pablo: "It's good to see you, jefe." Ash: "It's good to be back." Pablo: "How does it feel?" Ash: "Groovy." (Dahne)
3) Kelly: "Touch me again and you're gonna need another wooden hand." (Dahne)
4) Ash: "Yo granny, I hope you took your Geritol because it's time to dance." (Dahne)
5) Ash: "Do me a favor, will you? Thank your mother for me. She passed her genes down to you in all the right places." Kelly: "My mother died in a car accident 6 months ago." Ash: "Wow, um, you know in the future you might want to just say, 'Sure, I'll tell her' because dropping a bomb like that on somebody you just met is downright rude." (Dahne)
1) Lou: "Say, you wouldn't by any chance be Mike Milligan and the Kitchen brothers, would ya?"
Mike: "You make us sound like a prog-rock band. "Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Mike Milligan and the Kitchen brothers."(Darth Locke)
2) Lou: "Visitors?"(Darth Locke)
Stranger: From above. Some say they take you to their ship and probe you in places you don't want to mention. I believe their purposes are more benevolent. As the caretaker to the zoo. When strange happenings occur, they are near.
Lou: Strange happenings, huh? I wondered what was causing that.
3) Hank: "Yeah, I'm inclined to agree with Peggy. It's not like you're gonna just drive home with a Gerhardt in your windshield and, y'know, start supper."(Darth Locke)
1) Monroe: "Well Nick dying would have been horrible too." Rosalee: "What?" Monroe: "Not to speak ill of the dead, I'm just dying better Juliette than Nick. I mean…you know, if it had to be one of them…" Rosalee: "None of this was Juliette's fault. She didn't become a hexenbiest because she wanted to." Wu: "Well she did sort of embrace it once she did."
2) Chavez: "You all know he's a Grimm." Wu: "Oh, we do and we don't like secrets very much."(Dahne)
3) Meachum: "Apparently he's some kind of royalty." Pogue: "If you care about that kind of thing." Renard: "Not really."(Dahne)
1) Laurel: "I'm over all the secrets. We should know better at this point." (Dahne)
2) Laurel: "You know you become less and less sexy with every new compliment you give yourself." (Dahne)
3) Annalise: "I'll handle him the way I always do. Right now I have to go handle a b**." (Dahne)
4) Bonnie: "Why aren't you on your way to the Hapstalls?" Asher: "Oh you didn't hear? Caleb shot Catherine but not before she shot him and now they're both dead." ~I'm probably the only one who found this line hilarious but it really does show how ludicrous this show can get sometimes. At this point, it wouldn't surprise me. (Dahne)
5) Connor: "What is this?" Oliver: "It's a list of bad things you could have done. I know you said you couldn't tell me, which I appreciate-" Connor: "Terrorism?" Oliver: "See! It will be easy. [...] We can strike that, right?"
Connor: "I'm not a terrorist, Ollie." Oliver: "Great. Let's cross off #2. Pedophilia." Connor: "Look, what I did actually wasn't that bad." Oliver: "You said you could go to jail for it." Connor: "Which was an exaggeration."(Laura Markus)
6)Annalise: "You're all garbage." (Laura Markus)
7) Annalise: "It's okay. You're free. You finally get to be the woman you really are." (Laura Markus)
1) Eddie Morra: "Science can't change the world on its own, the world needs to be willing to change." (Darth Locke)
2) Naz: "Rebecca, when the director of the FBI wants to meet you, you meet the director."(Darth Locke)
3) Sands: "You keep going on like this, Brian Finch is going away and he's never coming back."(Darth Locke)
4) Brian: "So, what, that was some kind of test? I could've died!"
Eddie: "I would never let that happen to you."(Laura)
5) Brian: "I'm sorry I worried you." Rebecca: "Worried is an understatement."(Laura)
6) Naz: "Was it Finch?" Rebecca: "No." Naz (quietly): "Would you tell me if it was?" (Laura)
1) Shelby said this about Alex after being interrogated by Liam in the present, "I have my issues with Alex, but I don't think she did it". (Ben)
1) Toby: "Alright fake Siri, you made your point. You know I'm not gonna stand here and defend it to you. (pause) It's catchy for one. It's classic coming of age angst, and it reminds me of the summer I made out with Suzie Brennan."
2) Walter: "Oh, you made it." Sylvester: "A bit of a rough landing but I owe you my life, my riches, my firstborn." Toby: "Your comics?" Sylvester: "Not that." (Dahne)
3) Walter: "The next one? You're gonna do this again? This failed." Elia: "Walter, people think I'm some kind of brilliant visionary. The reason I'm successful is because on the heels of defeat, I start all over again. Failure's part of the process. You don't know where you're vulnerable until you fail." (Dahne)
1) Sam: "Goodnight, jerk." Dean: "Night, b**." ~This may be the best quote of the TV year for me. Unless you're a SPN fan, you won't get the amazing brother bond behind it but this conversation fulfilled the longest running TV wish list item I have.
2) Dean: "Okay, mom. Let's go home." Sam: "You know what? We are home." ~Another awww moment confirmng what SPN fans have known all along. The Impala is thier home and one the best characters on the show.(Dahne)
3) Sam: "I tried to give her my number. You know what she said?" Dean: "We've got tonight. Who needs tomorrow." Sam: "Is everything a Bob Seeger song to you?"(Dahne)
4) Young John Winchester: "The Darkness is coming. Only you boys can stop it." Sam: "Okay fine, how? We need help, not visions of dead people."(Dahne)
5) Dean: "Step away from the Netflix." (Dahne)
1) Kara: "I can help you stop them." Henshaw: "How? You couldn't even keep us from capturing you." Kara: "I'm still learning." Henshaw: "Our job is keeping people in the dark about alien life on earth and nothing says covert operation like a flying woman in a red skirt."(Dahne)
2) Kat: "I have a meeting with the board today so cancel sushi with my mother. Oh and cancel my therapist. I won't be needing it if I'm not having lunch with my mother."(Dahne)
3) Kat: "It's not that I don't see your frown. It's just that I don't care enough to ask why it's there."
4) Vartox: "Just because you wear that symbol on your chest doesn't mean you're him. Fighting him would be an honor. Fighting you is just exercise."(Dahne)
5) Kara: "Ms. Grant sent me for layouts and she doesn't like to wait." Jimmy: "Well she can wait a minute." Kara: "Have you met Ms. Grant?"(Dahne)
1) Cary: "Reese Dipple's the reason you're not at the firm. You sway Peter on this bill and Dipple will sprinkle rose petals as you step off the elevator."(Darth Locke)
2) Jackie: "Suddenly there's a palace guard wearing a pants suit and cheap shoes."(Darth Locke)
1) Michonne: "Have you ever had to kill people because they had already killed your friends and were coming for you next? Have you ever done things that made you feel afraid of yourself afterward? Have you ever been covered in so much blood that you didn't know if it was yours or walkers' or your friends'? Huh? Then you don't know" (Ben)
1) Roth: "Okay, so like the kind of guy who tells a girl what she wants to hear." Karen: "Isn't that every guy on the Strip?"(Dahne)
2) Vicki: "Whoa, you look way to Saturday Night Fever, daddy." Allison: "What?" Roth: "What does that mean?" Vicki: "You need to look more American Gigolo if you're going to the Whiskey so you fit in. Like lose the pocket square." Roth: "Okay, how do you know what people dress like at the Whiskey?" Allison: "Yeah, enquiring minds want to know."(Dahne)
3) Roth: "Uh Contreras, you know what your problem is?" Contreras: "No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me." Roth: "To me this girl is a victim. To you, she's a step up." Contreras: "Unless you're wrong, Jack. She's both."(Dahne)
Honorable Mentions
Grimm
1) Monroe: "I've known you as a Grimm longer than anyone so if anybody's gonna believe you , it's gonna be me. Okay, we've been through a lot together and I don't want to see you do something…you know, without me if you really need me." (Dahne)
2) Hank: "I was thinking my partner had gone over the edge. I'm not thinking that anymore."(Dahne)
Heroes Reborn
1) Hiro: "Oh, like Harry Potter." (Laura)
How to Get Away With Murder
1) Michaela: "Okay no, we are not vilifying the people who were brave enough to put their biological kids' needs before their own, thus ensuring them a safe and loving home."
2) Wes: "How is this about me?" Michaela: "Because everything wrong about our lives is about you. You continue to be paranoid and make us all paranoid."
3) Connor: "Less nerd. More information."
Scorpion
1) Walter: "What if we use the building's smart technology to our advantage?" Happy: "That would be a first today."
2) Walter: "It's a little bit odd that there are billions of modern electronics in this building and we're solving these problems with technology that David used to beat Goliath."
3) Cabe: "It's just a cocktail flu. He's disease free." Paige: "We think."
Wicked City
1) Roth: "Well, what do we know? We know he was probably older than Emily because she was looking for someone to give her a way up in the world. Possible military background because of the knots. A real attitude toward authority with the big middle finger he gave us by dropping her body at the cemetery. Some real anger issues toward women, which probably means his mommy didn't give him enough attention so now he cuts their heads off." Contreras: "Aside from the head cutting that could be anyone."
Roth: "What a surprise? A murder took place here."
2) Contreras: "Hey Jack, you know as much as I enjoy watching you make eyes with your stripper girlfriend, we should probably get moving. I've got a killer to catch." Gibbons: "So why don't you get back into your car and go do your job because I have a drug dealer to bust and I can't waste any more time on the Dynamic Duo." Contreras: "You're a cop." Roth: "Gonna be lieutenant." Gibbons: "Not if I don't get my supplier's boss so if you do anything to blow my cover and I'll cut your b** off. Understood?"
As always, thank you for reading. Let me know in the comments what some of your favorite quotes this past week have been!
