A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
1. Diggle: "It was my first chance for answers. My last chance." Oliver: "I'm sorry." Diggle: "Don't be, Oliver. This isn't your fault. It's mine. I should have trusted you. Told you about this forever ago" (Ben L)
2. Damien: "Miss Fayed hired you for one job. One. Against my objections and only because my associates are anxious to progress to phase three." Fayed: "We shouldn't talk about Genesis." Damien: "Don't lecture me about secrecy. Particularly on the same night that you were just compromised. On the same night that I lost good men in the name of protecting you." Fayed: "Damien..." Damien: "MR. DARKH!" (Bradley Adams)
3. Malcolm: "I really enjoy sparring with you, Nyssa." Nyssa: "I'm not sparring." Malcolm: "I know. That's what makes it so much fun." Nyssa: "You know I would show you no mercy given the opportunity." Malcolm: "That's why I take great care not to give you the opportunity." (Bradley Adams)
1. Wilkin: "My name is Wilkin Brattle. I was a knight in Longshanks army. Ventris was my commander; he sent me and my legion to an ambush of certain death. I was spared by a miracle and fled to your land, only to be roused again in blood." (Robert Fruin)
2. Wilkin: "I'm sorry I lied to you Lady Love. My time with you...it was worth the punishment I'm about to receive." (Robert Fruin)
3. Father Ruskin: "With every new piece of truth, I grow more bewildered, good woman." (Robert Fruin)
4. Lady Love: "I know the burden of your soul. I recognize it as my own. I don't know if what I feel for you is God's will or the work of a clever demon. But, I am certain, Wilkin Brattle, that whatever the case may be, it is the thing for which I've been waiting. It is the other girl I hear in my heart. The other life that lives in the shadow of my own." (Robert Fruin)
1. Amy: "Well I was hoping the next person I dated would be a little less like Sheldon." Bernadette: "You mean not a scientist?" Penny: "I think she means not a weirdo."
2. Sheldon: "Excuse me, Barry." Barry: "Yes." Sheldon: "When can I stab one of my friends?" Barry: "In fencing we don't call it a stab. We call it a touch." Sheldon: "Uh yes, I'm aware but if I say I want to touch one of my friends, I'll get called into Human Resources."
3. Howard: "My name is Darth Vader. I am your father. Prepare to die."
1. Weller: "You've been through so much. If I'm making this harder for you, then just tell me 'cause that's the last thing that I want. All these expectations…I should never have put you in that situation." Jane: "Kurt..." Weller: "I should never have let them take you. I'm sorry." Jane: "It wasn't your fault." Weller: "I've heard that my whole life." Jane: "But you haven't heard it from me. It wasn't your fault."
2. Jane: "I thought we were all on the same team." Carter: "Oh, now that is adorable."
3. Mayfair: "Smugglers have been moving cesium out of Abkhazia, selling it to terrorists on the black market." Reade: "Apparently in leaky containers."
1. Charles: "You're looking a little fat." Terry: "How dare you. You can't comment on my body, this is a workplace! Now I'm feeling objectified by your male gaze!" Charles: "Please, just listen, sir." Terry: "I will not listen! You are trying to shame me and that will not fly!" (Nirat Anop)
2. Jake: "Looks like we both have a pretty bad case of "jerk boss." " Holt: "Yes, yours is an idiot, and mine is a forked-tongue lizard witch." (Nirat Anop)
3. The Vulture: "Why don't we make like Boyle's mom and debrief me." (Nirat Anop)
1. Red: "Yes, hello. I need an ambulance. A man's dying on a cross." (Jimmy Ryan)
2. Red: "What is your fantasy?" Liz: "It's been the same thing for as long as I can remember. I'm walking in a park with my husband. In between us is our little girl. I'm holding her hand in mine, and I never let go." (Daniel van der Veer)
3. Aram: "I'm so happy to see you." Liz: "Not many people are these days." Aram: "Okay, I probably shouldn't say this, but you look fantastic." (Daniel van der Veer)
1. Herman - "Lady, you can take that high and mighty attitude back to Portland. This is Chicago." (Toni)
2. Nesbitt - "I'm a protected federal informant." Voight - "No kidding? Now get your ass up against that truck." (Toni)
3. Voight - "You know how you drown a rat, Jack? You just toss his dumbass out in the deep end and wait for him to sink." (Toni)
4. Herman - "For the love of God, will somebody get over here and arrest this moron?" (Toni)
5. Brett - "Doesn't she know what clear means?" (Toni)
1. Rebecca: "What's up with your resting Maggie Smith face?"
2. Valencia: "Do all people who go to Harvard say it as much as you do?" Rebecca: "Yeah."
3. Rebecca: "Hey I didn't move here for him, remember? I moved here because I needed a change and Josh just happens to be here. Get it straight." Paula: "Oh are we still doing that?"
1. Reid voice over: “All sins tend to be addictive and the terminal point of addiction is damnation. W.H. Auden.” (Emma)
2. Hotch: “Six years ago, a restaurant in Las Vegas, New Mexico was robbed.” Ben: “There’s another Vegas? Hey, they got gamblin’ and hookers out there too?” (Emma)
3. Lewis: “And what that means, is that after you finish serving out your remaining 20 years here, you’ll be transferred to New Mexico. Now the good news is they’ve outlawed the death penalty but the bad news is it’s gonna be a slow death in a cage.” (Emma)
1. Elijah: "When two men have a problem, they talk about it. More often than not, that problem goes away."
2. Avery: "You're not racist. You're a coward. This isn't about science. This is about vengeance because you hate your brother."
3. Krumitz: "Don't plug your charger in until you know where it's been."
4. Nelson: "Oh don't worry, Krummy. You'll figure it out. Big-boned friend once said that if necessity is the mother of invention, then perseverance is definitely is the father."
1. Cookie: "Oh, mention the devil name and he will walk right in." Jamal: "God help us all." (Nirat Anop)
2. Andre: "I'm not a good person ma." Cookie: "Stop saying stuff like that, stupid." Andre: "I've done horrible things." Cookie: "So have I, Dre. But we are good people. You wouldn't be here trying to make it right if you weren't. God knows your heart." (Nirat Anop)
3. Cookie: "So is he coming'?" Jamal: "Nah." Cookie: "It's probably for the best. That devil walk in here, this whole place might catch fire." (Nirat Anop)
1. Mike: "“Isn’t that a minor miracle, in the state of the world today, in the level of conflict and misunderstanding, that two men could stand on a lonely road in winter and talk, calmly and rationally. While all around them, people were losing their minds." (Nirat Anop)
2. Floyd: "Your time will come. It will. But this isn't it. And if you stand by me now, I promise you that as soon as this crisis is over, I'll hand you your legacy and I'll turn my thoughts to the grave." (Nirat Anop)
3. Floyd: "Your grandfather left the ashes of the Weimar republic and came to this country to build a name for himself. He built an empire from a shoeshine box. And then, and only then, did he send for your father." Dodd: "Ma, I know the story." Floyd: "No, you don't. Because if you did, you'd know that you are just a small part of it. That's what an empire is: it's bigger than any son. Or daughter." (Nirat Anop)
4. Molly: "What's that?" Lou: "Oh, Mama's doing Daddy's job again." Molly: "Go Mama!" (Nirat Anop)
1. Jay: "Ahhh. It's good to know whatever Earth you go to there's a Big Belly Burger." (Nirat Anop)
2. Caitlin: "Being a superhero isn't always about how fast you can run, it's about helping however you can, wherever you're needed most. I think Jay Garrick, physicist, has just as much to contribute as Jay Garrick, superhero. Maybe more." (Nirat Anop and Dahne)
3. Captain Cold: "You know what they say, live fast, die young." (Nirat Anop)
4. Patty: "I thought I stepped on an ear. I didn't. If I did I'd be hearing things." Joe: "Oh hell, no." (Prpleight and Dahne)
5. Joe: "I know. I should have told you sooner but I couldn't figure out the right way. And the mother you thought you remembered, the perfect mother, the stories I made up for you, that is the mother you deserve and I knew Francine couldn't be like that. She would only break your heart. I'm so sorry." Iris: "Dad, it's okay. I understand. You were just trying to keep me safe." (Dahne)
6. Cisco: "How do you feel?" Lisa: "Like we should have put down some plastic." ~This quote made me laugh since Cisco is basically trying something that could potentially blow Lisa's head off. Humor in the face of death is a win for me. (Dahne)
7. Lewis: "Okay son, make me proud." Cold: "Like I care." ~This one was all in the delivery. (Dahne)
1. Announcer: "In life, there are certain relationships that define who you are - your first teen crush, your best friend, your family. These are the relationships that matter the most but they're also the hardest because when you truly love someone, you sometimes hold on too tight, afraid that you'll lose them. But the truth is when you give the people you love most just a little space, you'll find the place they really want to be is right at your side."
2. Bill: "Your son walks his own path. I see what Lainey sees in him." Murray: "I don't."
3. Beverly: "Bill, you don't have a woman in your life telling you all the things you do that are wrong and stupid. I will be that woman." Bill: "Actually, I really haven't missed that very much."
1. Kid: "Are you the bathroom lady?" Annelise: "I used to be so much more."
2. Jimmy: "Gerald, I've hosted Mariah Carey's 40th birthday party for the last 5 years. I think I can throw a party for a 2 year old who's not even famous."
3. Jimmy: "Annelise, I need you to throw me a party." Annelise: "Now? I'm visiting my grandmother's grave." Jimmy: "Is she going somewhere?"
4. Frederick: "Wow, that's a lot of complicated stuff for a kid's party."
1. Meredith: "Isn't that right, Penny?" (about where she used to work) Penny: "That's.....(struggles to talk) That's right." Meredith: "Perfect Penny killed my husband." (Ben L)
2. Meredith: "I did nothing to you. I lost my husband and the father of my children, and you're falling apart? I don't get to do that, because I have three kids. So please shut up, and get out of my room!" (Nirat Anop)
3. Bailey: "Dr. Robbins, you're drunk. I don't think I've ever seen that. I like drunk Robbins." (Nirat Anop)
1. Steve: "Okay, well the father lied about the protection money. What else did he lie about?" Danny: "You keep asking me questions I don't know the answer to. Then you get upset when I don't -" Steve: "No, it's rhetorical! This is how we figure things out!" Danny: "Well, if it's rhetorical, then I don't really need to speak." Steve: "You know what? Enough." (Laura Markus)
2. Kono: "Feeling the burn, Danny?" Danny: "No, I'm tasting the burn. Remind me to never eat breakfast tacos before a five mile run." (Laura Markus)
3. Chin: "HBD paid him [the suspect] a visit at the hardware store where he works, but he didn't show up this morning." Danny: "Well, that's 'cause you get the day off after you kill somebody." (Laura Markus)
4. McGarret: "Iceman, like from Top Gun?" Biker: "What’s Top Gun?" McGarret: "Did he say what’s Top Gun? I should arrest him just for that." Chin: "Where do we find Iceman?" Biker: "Couldn’t tell you. I don’t even know his real name." Chin: "That’s convenient." Biker: "This ain’t the Shriner’s Club, okay. We don’t have business cards." McGarret: "You know what the Shriner Club is but you’ve never seen Top Gun?" (Prpleight)
5. Danny: "I hate the way you drive. I hate the way you look when you drive. I hate everything about your driving." (Prpleight)
6. Chin: "808 Road Warriors are a collective of stunt riders. They use social media to organize flash mob style events where they shut down traffic and perform their tricks. They have no respect drivers, pedestrians, or clearly the law." Lou: "Yeah I get it cause riding that motorcycle like a normal person isn’t dangerous enough." (Prpleight)
1. Luke (leaving a message on Joanne's phone): "Hi, honey. This is your loving husband. You know, the one you nearly shot in the face." (Laura Markus)
2. Quentin: "So, are you like a cosplayer? Or, do you do LARPing? [...] She's definitely not a LARPer." (Laura Markus)
3. Malina: "Well, if you're not gonna eat, you can at least tell me why you tried to kill yourself." Luke: "I used to believe in something. I had a purpose, a reason for living. But then I lost it. I was just looking for a sign." Malina: "I'm looking for something too. Someone, actually. 7 billion people in the world - and I'm supposed to find one of them. Crazy, huh?" (Laura Markus)
1. Quinn (to the kid): "Shut the f** up." (Bradley Adams)
2. Saul: "If you aim to kill, don't miss. Have I taught you nothing?" Allison: "You taught me everything." Saul: "I treated you like a senior intelligence officer. So start f** behaving like one." (Bradley Adams)
3. Jonas: "I don't know how you live with yourself." (Bradley Adams)
1. Annalise: "I caught Wes and Nate together last night." Frank: "Screwing?" (Daniel van der Veer)
2.Annalise: "You want to know the truth? Asher was going to testify against everyone in this house, so Bonnie told him that she killed Sam in order to save your a**! Because that's what we do around here. Ruin everyone's lives to save yours. Nate's, mine and now Bonnie's. Who's next, huh? Whose life do you want to destroy to stay free?" Michaela: "Why didn't you just tell us?" Annalise: "Because I'm trying to protect you like always. When are you gonna finally accept that?" (Daniel van der Veer and Dahne)
3. Laurel: "You know who hasn't seemed worried this whole time? Who keeps sneaking off?" Michaela: "He's the only one she really trusts. He knew what was going on all along." Connor: "Screw the puppy. He's a snake." (Daniel van der Veer)
4. Frank: "Where are you going?" Annalise: "To kick some a**." (Laura Markus and Dahne)
5. Connor: "I might be going to jail." Oliver: "Very funny." Connor: "I'm not kidding. [...] Just know that, meeting you, and everything that we have...it's everything. I mean, you mean everything. I love you, Ollie." (Laura Markus)
6. Annalise: "You don't think I don't notice what's happening here? Day drinking? Acting out against me? I miss that man I first gave that trophy to." (Laura Markus)
7. Oliver: "Hey, do you think Annalise would ever pay me? I mean I do all this work for her for free." Connor: "You don't want to work for Annalise." Michaela: "Trust your boyfriend on that one."
8. Asher: "Did you…you cut a deal for yourself, didn't you?" Dad: "Of course I did." Asher: "God, is there any part of you that thought that maybe I should just do this to protect my kid and not to protect myself?" Dad: "I'm protecting the both of us." Asher: "But mostly you, dad."
1. Liv: "Oh, take your finger out of your mouth, sweetie, that's full of herpes." (Nirat Anop and Dahne)
2. Liv: "The color is called 'sorry Beyonce' and I might be in love with it." (Nirat Anop)
3. Liv: "I wear this dress like someone's paying me too." Ravi (twirling in his lab coat): "Oh, as I do with this." (Nirat Anop and Dahne)
4. Liv: "I can't believe my BFF Bethany was a skanky Harmony." (Nirat Anop)
5. Liv: Arranging a murder is well within his skillset. You know it, I know it." Ravi: "I know it." Liv: "It's known." (Nirat Anop)
6. Liv: "Oh I'll just wait here…for you to pull up the car." Clive: "What am I? Driving Miss Crazy?"
7. Liv: "I am literally going through hell. Do you even care?" Ravi: "Okay, you've literally forgotten the meaning of the word literally."
8. Vaughn: "There's a reason why I'm not getting hitched, detective." Liv: "Because you can't legally marry your own reflection?" Vaughn: "Burn."
1. Heather: "Where's his starter girlfriend? You know, the freckly faced nerd that he's supposed to hold hands with and make mixed tapes for." Jen: "I don't know. He went straight for the 'I Sold an App' girlfriend."
2. Greg: "It's happening, isn't it?" Jen: "Yeah." Greg: "We're the crazy parents." Jen: "Yeah, but our baby's gonna live forever." Greg: "She'll be like the Highlander."
3. Greg: "Wow! She is….not as pretty as you are. Nope, not by a mile." Jen: "You really stuck the landing there."
1. Brian: "So what do a cat, a spaceship and Jack Black have to do with terrorism?" Rebecca: "That’s Paul Revere." (Prpleight)
2. Sands: "Why is there a clay effigy of me on your coffee table?" (Prpleight and Dahne)
3. Regular Brian: "Just because you remember everything doesn't mean you know everything. We are not omniscient or today would have gone very differently and if putting myself first means being okay with what happened to Chris Garber, then I'm not playing. I mean you tell me I've got to be ruthless to survive but if that means killing the part of myself that makes being alive worthwhile, that is not how I'm getting through this. That is not how we’re getting through this so deal with it. You don't have a choice really because by the time I take my next pill, the damage is already going to be done."
4. Brian: "I can be really annoying when I'm not on NZT." Ike: "We've noticed."
5. Brian: "The worst part of this job is learning about things you never knew you needed to worry about. For instance, weapons of mass disruption. Sounds like a really bad band name."
1. Gunnar: “You all suck as wing men.” Will: “Well it’s pretty hard when you’re choking right out of the gate.” (Jessica VanWinkle)
2. Luke: “Don’t go around trying to play cool mom with someone else’s kid just because you’ve abandoned your own.” (Jessica VanWinkle)
3. Rayna: “If I didn’t work with people who had complicated lives there wouldn’t be anyone to make music with.” (Jessica VanWinkle)
4. Avery: “How the hell am I supposed to work with crazy?” (Jessica VanWinkle)
1. Abby: "Gibbs, this is Janice. She's my new friend. She helped saved the lives of the hostages. And you can arrest her now, cause she's working with the bad guys." (Daniel van der Veer)
2. Brown: "You have a fire starter kit in your heel?" Abby: "You don't?" (Daniel van der Veer)
3. McGee: "That's actually really interesting what he was doing." Tony: "Not really, McNerd. What is interesting is that the fact that his CO says he's been divorced three times, has no friends or family that still talks to him." Gibbs: "Yeah." (Daniel van der Veer)
4. Abby: "Gibbs is the answer. Gibbs is always the answer."
5. Abby: "If you take a life today, then you failed yesterday."
1. Regina: “These two can outlive a cockroach.” (Missions)
2. David: “You tried to trick me with a catchy title and a comfy chair.” (Missions)
3. Rumpelstiltskin: “Be careful. Love is a weapon, Deary. The most dangerous weapon of all which means the pain you should worry about isn’t the kind inflicted by a broken sword but the kind that comes from a broken heart.” (Missions)
4. Guinevere: “Stop trying to mend that sword or your marriage and your kingdom will be broken forever.” (Missions)
1. Alex: "I forgot how much getting shot can hurt." Mr. Johnson: "It's been 6 days. A Band-Aid® and an aspirin should work." (Prpleight)
2. Alex: (after Cassandra notes that hacking into the Pentagon was impressive) "I was gonna say stupid but sure we can go with "impressive". (Prpleight)
3. Alex: "The bet’s over. I lost. I’m gonna take the rest of the day off; maybe go to the spa." (Prpleight)
4. Cassandra: "Looks like low tech went brilliantly." (Prpleight)
5. Solomon: "If you give me a gun it’ll double our chances of getting to the consulate alive." Alex: "Absolutely not." Solomon: "Why?" Alex: "Because firing a weapon at another human being is a choice you should never have to make." (Prpleight)
1. Shaw: "Don't let your guilt re-write history."
2. Caleb: "When did Harry Potter become James Bond."
3. Natalie: "This ain't shooting skeet at the country club. This is the real deal and I've got the battle scars to prove I'm up for it." Shelby: "No scars on me. I guess that means I'm more qualified."
4. Caleb: "Wow, you're like a boss at this thing." Shelby: "Wait. My life is in your hands?" Caleb: "I'm down, Blake Lively. I'll make sure you don't chip your French tips." Shelby: "You are lucky you're an analyst because you have friendly fire written all over you."
1. Andrew: "Weirdos! Focus!" (Jimmy Ryan)
2. Olivia: "So, I wish we'd never met. But we did. And I tried. I tried and failed. And tried and failed again to hide. To stop loving him. But I couldn't. I was weak. I hated myself. I wore this ring to remind me of my weakness. And when our affair was exposed, I had to follow my own advice and stand in my truth." (Nirat Anop)
3. Leo: "We're going to take what the public views as a cheap and tawdry affair between the President and his former communications director and we're going to spin it into the greatest love story ever told. Olivia and Fitz, a love like no other." (Nirat Anop)
1. (After everyone steps out in Super Fun Guy costumes) Sylvester: "I can’t believe I’m not there with you." Hostage: "I can’t believe I got caught by you people." (Prpleight and Dahne)
2. Sylvester: "My name is Sylvester Dodd I’m work with Agent Cabe Gallo badge number 28355. I’m requesting an immediate extraction from a humanitarian mission in Kazakstan where they are there protecting civilians from illegal nuclear weapons." Receptionist: "We’re the National Association of Theatre Owners. You want the NATO on Pico." (Prpleight)
3. Happy: "You're not part of Scorpion." Ray: "But I live here." Happy: "So does a possum in the rafters."
4. Walter: "What is our goal?" Cabe: "We need to get to the nuke." Walter: "Right. Okay and what's our obstacle?" Toby: "Guaranteed death from Eastern Bloc mobsters."
5. Ray: "Now get on." Sylvester: "What? On Happy's organ donation machine?" Ray: "You want to stop feeling powerless. You want to be a hero like your pals are being right now. Then this is your moment, Big Fella. Seize it like a superhero would."
1. Simmons: "I know you're looking for signs of PTSD, but I assure you I'm fine." Garner: "You've been through something pretty extreme. There will be after-effects, and that's okay. It's okay to struggle." (Nirat Anop)
2. Simmons: "I have to go back, Fitz." (Nirat Anop)
3. Fitz: "B is for Blue is for Biological Sample." (Nirat Anop)
4. Bobbi: "There's someone in particular whose very worried about you." (Nirat Anop)
5. Hunter: "Always in a bloody boot." (Swanpride)
2. Fitz: "Sorry. It's tuff when people keep things from you." (Swanpride)
1. Cameron: "No one's out here." Kirsten: "He was. I just saw him." Cameron: "Okay how about we put the knife away, Jason?"
2. Linus: "Did you guys know that the term 'selfie' was invented by an Australian?" Camille: "And did you know that the term 'Who Cares?' was invented to describe this conversation?"
3. Camille (talking about candy corn): "What do you have against corn?" Cameron: "Uh corn of the cob, nothing. Corn tortillas, bring it. Popcorn, corn chowder, corn muffins - I'm all over that, but pretend corn trying to be corn…pass." Camille: "Read the first ingredient." Cameron: "Corn syrup." Camille: "Thank you."
1. Claudette: "You can't do this. I have rights." Dean: "And I have a fake badge."
2. Minion: "She looks at me like she wants to eat me." Crowley: "She wants to eat everyone. Don't take it personally."
3. Dean: "Listen, before you finish what you're about to say, know that we are the only thing between you and Crowley's ninjas." Claudette: "But I didn't try to hurt him. I am a nobody. I'm worse than nobody. I'm nobody's third cousin who doesn't even get invited to dinner."
4. Dean: "Why isn't he answering the phone?" Sam: "Because he's a d** and that's not breaking news."
1. Carol (speaking to Sam): "Your dad used to hit you and then he got himself killed. It happened. Now, it's done. You live with it or it eats you up." (Ben L)
2. Carol: "It happened and now it's done. You live with it or it eats you up." (Nirat Anop)
3. Morgan: "You keep choosing this life, you will die." (Nirat Anop)
