Teen Wolf - 5.10 - Status Asthmaticus - Review / Episode Awards
1 Sept 2015
DH Reviews Teen WolfPreviously - Theo lied, Scott promised to save Hayden, steampunk scientists gave Hayden a mercury shot, and Liam wanted Scott to turn Hayden into a werewolf but Scott said no.
Note - Before we begin, can we all agree that Miley's tongue was the worst part of this episode? Seriously, that freaking VMA ad took up way too much screen space and it was an ever present reminder of how annoying MTV can be. Just stop!
Picking up where 5.09 left off, Liam is not happy that Scott will not turn Hayden. Scott though makes an excellent point. "Look at her. She's too weak. It'll kill her." He also mentions that she's a chimera, they don't know for sure that she's been injected with mercury, and they don't know how any of these things will affect her. Yippee, Smart Scott is back. Unfortunately, Whiny Liam is not satisfied and says the bite saved him. That's so patently untrue, I check to see if he's joking. He's not. Um Liam, sweetie, the bite didn't save you. Scott pulling you back over the ledge of the building so you didn't drop to your death saved you. There's a difference. Liam: "You promised. You said you'd do everything you could." Scott: "Which is why I'm not going to do something I think is going to kill her." That makes sense to me. End of discussion. Sadly Scott stops mid-reason for an asthma attack and Liam looks at him in disgust while Theo throws him an inhaler. I look at both Liam and Theo in disgust. I trust neither of you tonight. Why exactly does Theo have an inhaler to give to Scott? Hmmm. Theo also points out that Hayden won't survive either way unless they do something. Enter Mama McCall, the single most important person in Beacon Hills. I guess they hired 20 other people to run Beacon Hills Memorial in her absence as she pilfers equipment to save Hayden. She goes to start an IV and Liam AGAIN takes exception to the plan. He grabs Mama McCall's wrist. Liam: "You're hurting her." Mama McCall: "And you're hurting me." Back the heck up right now Liam, because it's not just Scott giving you the death glare here. No one hurts Mama. He apologizes while Theo does his best to make things worse. "Guys, remember we're here to save a life, not kill each other." Scott blames it on the supermoon. I blame it on Liam being a hormonal douche bag.
While Mama McCall tries to save Pseudo Scott-Allison for the shippers, Stiles drives alone in his Jeep with the bloody wrench and my heart hurts for him. Doubly so when the Jeep fills with smoke forcing him to pull over. Sadly he needs the bloody wrench so he causes future traffic accidents by throwing the entire wrench set into the road. Fed up, he slams the hood and goes to toss the bloody wrench with the others only to stop midway to throw it at the Jeep's windshield instead. Dejected he sits in the road by the wheel, looks at his hands, and has no plan for how to get himself out of this mess. Instead of allowing me to wallow over the sad state of the pack with Stiles, a new police dispatcher (people still apply to work there?) gets a frantic call from Deputy Red Shirt (DRS) about a monster leaping over her car. Naturally it all leads to Beacon Hills High where Sheriff races to save the day. While DRS is fine, her squad car and the nifty sign which conceals the entrance to the Hale vault are not. Hope someone collects the Hale family valuables before looters swarm it. Oh, and apparently Beacon Hills has insurance again though I doubt it's enough for all the structural damage. More than the library will need replacing next season. The steampunk scientists stop to admire their chimera handiwork, finally about to succeed. At what? Who knows? Sheriff goes back to look at his nifty chimera scrapbook only to find that Mama McCall sent Stiles' school ID card to him with a note saying they found it in the hospital trash. Uh oh! Busted. He knows Stiles is lying and it's time for a confrontation…some other time. Right now, Theo has to screw with the pack even more. He says they'll need everyone to keep a tight leash on Liam, but Scott admits he doesn't have much of a pack anymore. Theo helpfully offers to talk to the pack for Scott as I yell for Scott to wake up and smell the foul stench of death and lies surrounding Theo. Instead Scott thanks Theo for all his help and a thousand socks are launched at my TV set. Massive facepalm.
Since I'm not irked enough by Theo's brilliant scheming, Lydia and Parrish must wax poetic about their commonalities through prison bars. I can't wait until this ship goes down like the Titanic. It's wrong on so many levels. They agree that they are both harbingers of death. Parrish: "I should probably add that to my resume." Bwah! Lydia: "It's on my college applications." Lydia Martin, putting the extra in extracurricular. He asks if knowing what she is helps Lydia but mostly it helps her accept what she is. Smart distinction. Recapping the pilot, Parrish brings up his wholly inappropriate vision of Lydia coming to him which triggers Lydia to remember Kira telling her about the Wild hunt - that awesome piece of foreshadowing Mama Fox tried to explain in the traffic jam before Kira left mid-story to kiss Scott. I knew she should have stayed to hear the ending. Mama Fox is nothing if not the harbinger of future plotlines. At least Lydia realizes Mama Fox is full of knowledge and heads out to finally determine what Parrish is. I don't care anymore, since this storyline has been stretched out too far. Before she leaves, she tells Parrish not to go anywhere. From his jail cell he eyebrow furls her but come on, like he can't reduce those bars to liquid with his touch. He's supernatural. Mama McCall is not though so she's no miracle worker. Hayden gets worse and Liam wolfs out to glare at a sleeping Scott. Pipe down, buddy. No one has time for your nonsense. Hayden and Scott both wake and Hayden asks him to bring her sister to the clinic since she doesn't want to die without her. Awww. Don't fret. No way we get rid of you so quickly. Scott agrees to round up Deputy Red Shirt from the hospital and Liam asks what he's going to tell her. For once someone in this pack decides the truth may just be a plan…as a last option.
At least Stiles is now ready to talk to his dad so it's progress, but first he watches the poor Jeep get towed off. Nooo!!! The Jeep is classically Stiles. What? Is he going to start driving yet another product placed car now? Malia: "Can they fix it?" Stiles: "There's not enough duct tape in the world to fix that thing." Malia: "Maybe you should try something other than duct tape." Absolutely! Now there's a girl who's thinking. Still it needs a new alternator, belts, transmission, and brake pads. Yikes, that's a ton of money but I'm not giving up yet. Malia, turning the Jeep' condition into meta on the state of the pack, wonders, "How come you let it get so bad?" Stiles: "There's been a few distractions if you haven't noticed." Yeah, what about those 6 months of calm then, buddy? Just saying that Dean would never let Metallicar fall apart like that. Malia breaks into my internal rant to cryptically say that she notices more than he thinks. Stiles: "I didn't mean it like that." She's right. You've been wrapped up so much in your own junk that you've ignored all the stuff your girlfriend's going through. Time to remedy that. Or not. He tells Malia to take him to the precinct and when they arrive she shocks him by asking if he's going to tell Sheriff about Psycho. Say what? Malia knows? Awesome! Why didn't she say anything? Stiles is stunned too. She saw Psycho's palm mouth bite on his shoulder while he was sleeping and guessed the rest. "It didn't matter to me. That's why I never said anything?" Huh? Why exactly did that seem like a good plan? Oh, Malia. This is no time for your coyote side. Stiles needed to have that conversation a whole lot earlier, if nothing else to talk through his feelings and know someone's in his corner. Stiles: "Yeah well, it matters to me." Again I think they'll hash out their issues and get one relationship back on track but again, no. My head hits the desk one more time. He slowly slips out of the car, leaving things just as off between them as ever. Will nothing get fixed this episode? Sigh. At least the big secret is out. Now let's deal with it.
Except Sheriff is out at the moment, so it's another conversation postponed. Stiles waits in his office, but it's really just an excuse to watch Parrish heat up the place literally. In a trance, Parrish dreams of the fiery nematon and melts the prison bars as the officers sweat. The cops start to stop him but Stiles urges them to just let him go so they don't get hurt. Things heat up in the library as well, as Lydia realizes Parrish is a hellhound, albeit much different than Supernatural's version. In full banshee mode, she hears the future but Theo jolts her out of it. She confides to Theo that someone will die there but he's counting on it. He also can't let Lydia warn Scott. This would be a good time to break out those handy self-defense moves but a suddenly stupid Lydia doesn't even realize she needs them. She still thinks Theo's an ally until he starts spouting off that he wants her in his pack before smacking her unconscious. Oh heck no! You die. Still. No redemption for Theo. Since one pack member down isn't enough, he stalks Malia next. She visits her former den, complete with that super creepy talking doll that about scared Stiles and I to death in season 3. Sensing a presence, she turns to watch Theo go from wolf to naked boy behind her. She asks know how he did that. I ask why it couldn't have been Derek back to save the day. I miss Derek. Theo offers to show her how to turn but Malia's already got an eyeful of naked Theo. "You're showing me plenty right now." Ha! That's a girl. Don't fall for his lies. Equally observant, Theo realizes that Malia plans to kill the Desert Wolf. How? Who knows? Theo: "Don't worry. I'm not judging. I want to help you." Yeah, that'll end well. He also reminds her that Scott won't understand. Theo: "I'm trying to help all of you and if Scott can't do it, someone else needs to take the lead." I evil glare side eye him as he tells Malia they need to stop the other chimeras from hurting people. Theo: "They need help. They need you." Smart, but evil. That's Theo. She agrees to go chimera-hunting.
Meanwhile Mama McCall has done her best but Hayden's getting worse. Time for Beacon Hills Memorial, because that doesn't just seal your doom. Liam has to question every single thing tonight so he protests again. Mama: "I said that we're going to take her to the hospital. I didn't say we're going through the front door." Well okay, then. Scott couldn't go through the high school front door if he tried, given that it's now in the middle of the hallway. He ignores Liam's texts about Hayden getting worse, but a text from "Lydia" sends him to the library while my Spidey senses say it's time for the big confrontation. Instead Theo is even smarter than I expected. He randomly tosses a key aside to some hospital room where he has someone is trapped. I have no idea who or why this is important but Theo obviously can magically transport through his busy day because he's sure getting around fast. From the hospital he flits to the library where he traps Scott in a mountain ash circle. Scott is dumbfounded that Theo can cross the mountain ash barrier. I am dumbfounded they trusted Theo in the first place. He spouts his villain spiel about being the first chimera and delivers the vocabulary lesson of the night. Chimera also means something impossible to achieve. He's an almost perfect success but still he's no true alpha. Scott charges him but the mountain ash barrier stops him down. Theo, turning on the cell phone jammer, says, "No calls, Scott. No Stiles, no Malia, no Lydia. You're just gonna have to wait here alone for what happens next." Apparently the supermoon is the end all and be all of his plan, so that means Liam. Again. Ugh. But first it's Mason. He pilfers the hospital supplies Mama McCall needs like a pro and suddenly I wonder if he's moonlighting to get all his extra cash. Hmm, interesting. Mama McCall and he debate getting a doctor for Hayden but they're not equipped for chimera issues either. Hayden takes a turn for the worse and Mama sends him after Liam because Hayden isn't going to last much longer.
Liam has other plans though. Scott tries futilely to break the mountain ash border, reminding himself that he's done so before but it's not in the script tonight. Instead he finds a door leading to the roof, but the border extends up there too. In frustration he crushes his inhaler only to find it filled with wolfsbane as the entire fandom goes, "Duh." No recapitation needed. I could do without a Hulked out Liam too but he's here and ready to kill. Scott tries reason but that just isn't happening. Liam: "You're gonna keep your promise, even if it kills you." I'll give you one guess as to how Liam figured out he alone can take Scott's power and it starts with a T for "Told you they should never trust Theo." While Liam is fully wolf, Scott refuses to change - again trying to talk him down. Give it up, Scott. An epic fight begins, complete with acrobatics until they fall through the skylight and I worry that this beautiful new library might not make it much longer. At the same time, it appears that either Malia or Chimera #494 is the one Theo locked in at the hospital. It really makes zero sense if he locked Malia in though. Isn't he trying to get her in his pack? I'm leaning towards him using the bone marrow bags to draw the chimera in but then throwing away the key makes no sense. Either way it doesn't matter because Braeden returns to save the day. Oh how I've missed you! She fires an electric charge at the chimera and it runs away. Hooray! Braeden: "I don't know what's going on around here but I'm guessing things are bad again." Aren't they always? Really though, it's a long story best not retold. Just chalk it up to Beacon Hills. She informs Malia that the Desert Wolf knows her matricide plans and is coming to Beacon Hills to kill Malia first. Nice family bonding. No idea how she even knows Malia is looking since Malia doesn't exactly have wide criminal underground connections. I mean she spent half her life as a coyote. Still this is the storyline I am most excited about in 5B so I'm happy its getting some forward movement.
Stiles also wants forward movement on Parrish's corpse snatching so he follows Parrish to the impound lot where he's storing Screamer's corpse. Say huh? What's up with that? With no Jeep and no one answering his calls, Stiles turns to Theo for a ride so they can apprise Scott of Parrish's movements. Theo tells Stiles that Scott doesn't want to talk to him and I feel a great need to bloody Theo's nose. How dare you create a rift in my perfect bromance! At least Stiles gets wary when Theo doesn't head to the car, especially when he pulls out Stiles' student ID. Theo: "Scott doesn't want to talk to you but I think your dad does." Ruh-roh. Apparently Sheriff came looking for Stiles but found Theo instead. Stiles is worried about what he did to his dad. Theo is miffed that he told a perfectly good lie to quench Sheriff's questions but Stiles ruined it with his rookie move of tossing it in the trash. Theo: "I guess even the son of a cop can make mistakes." Sorry, Theo. Some aren't criminal masterminds like you. Right until you give the villain monologue. Sigh. It's the kiss of death for all good villains. He reiterates that he came for a pack, just not for Scott. "I came for the werecoyote, the one whose first instinct is to kill. I came for the banshee, the girl surrounded by death. I came for the dark kitsune. The beta with anger issues. I came for VoidStiles. That's the pack I want." Seriously? And to think I thought you were smart. In what world does killing off Scott mean this pack would follow you next? After studying them for so long, do you not know them at all? Argh! Even Peter knew better. A pox on this idiocy. To further his downward spiral, Theo taunts Stiles about his rising heart rate. "It's not because you're afraid. The nogitsune's gone, but you've still got more blood on your hands than any of us." Stiles: "I'm about to get more." Woo hoo! I'm totally okay with this. Do what you have to, Stiles.
Back in the Doomed Library, Liam pummels a still non-changed Scott. It's brutal and well done. Kudos to the stunt team for making fight scenes more acrobatic and visually interesting this season. Liam breaks a chair over Scott's back, wrestling style, and that's the last straw. Scott: "Don't do this, Liam. I can't let you kill me." Scott draws on the supermoon's power as well and now it's really on. The fight's more evenly matched and I have great hopes that Scott can take him down for good. Then he needs to go after Theo, who tells Stiles to choose. He can either save his dad or he can save Scott. In a quick right jab, Stiles clocks Theo one and the entire fandom cheers. I needed that. Theo: "There he is. That's VoidStiles. It felt good didn't it." So good, Stiles does it again. This time Theo lands on the ground. Theo: "We won't tell Scott because you can't lose your best friend, right? Even though we both know you never needed him." Say what? So very not true. Still between Sheriff and Scott, Stiles has to chose his dad. He's the only person in the world Stiles values more than Scott and Theo knows it. Luckily Sheriff's still moving when Stiles gets to him. Plus Scott is doing pretty well, holding his own. Scott: "He's using you, Liam. He wants you to be the alpha because he can't take the power from me. Only you can, but once you do he'll take it from you. That's why he wants you to kill me." Liam: "That's what you don't get, Scott. I want to kill you. I want to." Then you can die right now, sir. Except Scott is nicer than me and still won't go full throttle. It backfires as Liam takes him down and wails on him as Hayden dies, one silver tear flowing down. Liam claws and claws at Scott until Mason's voice breaks through. Isn't that sweet? Mason saves the day again. Ugh! He tells Liam that Hayden's dead and Liam runs to her in full slow-mo. Oh Teen Wolf. He cries over her corpse until Parrish comes to take the body and then kisses her cheek before letting her go. Wrong one to die.
Meanwhile Mason helps Scott up so that Scott can excuse Liam's behavior on the supermoon because he's annoyingly nice that way. Can't Scott get mad at anyone? Come on. Theo certainly can. He's royally ticked Mason interrupted his brilliant plan and knocks him unconscious so he can finish killing Scott himself. He's determined to take Scott's pack for himself. He's a moron. Theo: "They'll come around." Scott: "Not for you." No kidding. Theo claws Scott in the gut but Scott's not done. "They're not like you. They never will be." Theo: "Because I'm a chimera. Cause I'm not a real werewolf." Scott: "Because you're barely even human." Woo hoo! Scott McCall telling it like it is. I'm far more pumped by this than Theo, who responds by clawing Scott again and again until the light leaves Scott's eyes. Mason watches over Scott's dead body as Mama McCall comes racing in. She won't give up on her son even though Mason says he's been dead for 15 minutes. Mama: "He's not someone. He's my son and he's an alpha and he's too strong to die like this. Come on. Open your eyes for me, okay? Breathe, baby, breathe." She keeps doing CPR and finally pounds on his chest in frustration. Scott's eyes glow red and he roars before passing out again. Did anyone expect Scott to really die? Nope. Does that make Mama McCall any less awesome? Nope. She is the true leader of the pact and this scene is awesome. She will not give up on her son. When all else crumbles in life, a mother's love will still be there and Mama McCall proves it every time. No wonder she's not only Scott's mom but the whole pack's. Not to mention Melissa Ponzio becoming the fandom's mom too. MVP of the night!
With Theo's plans unraveling, he returns to Lydia and does the alpha neck claw Not cool. Not cool. It strangely works and Lydia unwittingly shows him the nematon. He takes a syringe of Tankboy's amniotic fluid and forces a barely walking Lydia to bring him to it, where she promptly collapses. Guess that's why she ends up at Eichen House. Yet another reason why Theo CANNOT be redeemed. Even worse, he slams the syringe into Tracy, Screamer, Josh, and Hayden and they all magically come back from the dead. Are you kidding me? We just got rid of these new kids. Why show? Why? To quote Dean Winchester, "What's dead should stay dead." Especially if they were super annoying in life already. Hayden's death lasts 2.2 seconds and I feel gypped. Grrr! Theo crowns himself their alpha and they blindly follow him. Blech! All this means is more Liam whining and a saving Hayden storyline. Big sigh. Theo, take your creepy chimera army and leave Beacon Hills. I hear Sunnydale has an opening for a new Big Bad. Just go. After this unpleasant twist, I really need comfort food and wise words from Mama McCall. Luckily Scott does too. Scott: "I lost mom." Mama: "Every leader suffers loss. Sometimes more than you think is bearable." Scott: "This time I lost everyone." Mama: "You'll get them back. You have to." No kidding. I won't watch a fractured pack much longer. I need my Scott-Stiles bromance. Scott: "Why would they come back?" Mama: "Because you're their leader." Um, gotta disagree here. They'll come back because Scott is their friend and that's a stronger bond than any leadership role. They'll come back because they are family. Mama counsels him to give them hope and I think we all need that right now. Thanks, Mama McCall. Sadly though we can't end here. The steampunk scientists have artwork to uncover. It's a fresco of a hellhound versus a superwolf, which has something to do with the Wild Hunt. I don't know. I'm confused. I say let Deucalion and Parrish duke it out to the death. I'm going back to Mama McCall.
And so ends season 5A, a unique season in that unlike the others the main conflict has not been resolved. The steampunk scientists are still doing who knows what. Theo is conniving albeit openly now. The pack is still fractured. But like Mama McCall said, there is hope. Now that they know Peter….er, Theo's big plan they can come together as a group to stop him. Almost all secrets are out on the table so they can rebuild from there. In this, the midseason finale really worked for me. I also love the return of Braeden, who will hopefully bring news about Derek and the Desert Wolf. Plus the pack can always use another kick butt female. I look forward to exploring Malia's mom more next time and hope Parrish's hellhound issues, the Wild Hunt, and still more steampunk scientist nonsense will not crowd it out. As for Theo's new pack, I expect Scott's pack with Deaton's help will either defeat them or the steampunk scientists in the first few episodes. There are far too many storylines to pursue in 5B to keep Theo and the steampunk scientists and the chimeras in the loop. Kill off the newbies and let's move forward. In fact, bringing them back was the worst thing about the finale. We got 2 fake-out deaths, which is just bad writing, and revived the most irksome characters while letting better characters (miss you Coach and Danny and Derek) go. At least they didn't bring Psycho back because that would be the last straw. It would also make everything Stiles went through pointless. Of course I'm not sure why Theo didn't bring more serum to awaken more chimeras if his end game is dominance. 494 chimeras would be quite the foe…and as bad as season 4 teen assassins. I also wish the pack had been more together at the end. I have enough hope to tide me over but at least one relationship stabilizing again would have been nice. There are only so many Scott-Stiles bromance fanvids I can watch to curb the hiatus blues. Mostly though, I hope this experience changes the pack. It will be a waste if it doesn't. Scott needs to stop being so naïve. Stiles needs to trust the pack more and not make lies his default setting. It's time put this behind them and come back stronger. Yes, I know it will take time but steady progress to a unified pack and the continuation of the Scott-Stiles bromance I miss so much is all I need. And more overall action. We can always use more action.
Grade: B+
Episode Awards:
Best Scene - Mama McCall saves Scott
Best Moment / Most Cathartic / Longest Awaited - Stiles punches Theo
MVP / Best Character - Mama McCall
Best Action - Scott vs. Liam
Best Character Interaction - none, the best parts were about solo moments and not the interactions
Best Reveal - Malia already knew about Psycho
Best Entrance - Braeden
Worst Exit - the Jeep
Best Sci-Fi Travel - whatever Theo is using to be all around Beacon Hills in like 10 seconds
Best Veiled Reference to a Dead Character - Scott remembers his first love, Allison
Best Speech - Mama McCall tells Scott to give the pack hope
Best Death Glare - Scott to Liam hurting Mama McCall
Worst Surprise - the freaking dead chimeras are back
Worst Place to Keep a Body - in a cooler in van in the impound lot
Worst Excuse - Stiles, you can't use constant death distractions as an excuse to not fix the Jeep when Scott and you were talking about having 6 months supernatural free in the pilot. Take care of your vehicle.
Most Obnoxious - Miley Cyrus' tongue
Most Sad - Stiles sitting dejectedly in the night at the Jeep's wheel
Most Promising - the Desert Wolf storyline
Least Surprising - Theo gives Scott a wolfsbane laced inhaler
Least Climactic - steampunk scientists reveal their artwork
Smartest Choice - Scott doesn't give Hayden the werewolf bite
Biggest Huh - Why is Theo revealing his plan so quickly and to everyone? This seems to be a terrible way to get the pack to join him - assaulting them, kidnapping their parents.
The "Nope, No Way" Award - no insurance company in the world is going to insure anything with a Beacon Hills zip code anymore
Best Quotes -
1. Scott: "They're not like you. They never will be." Theo: "Because I'm a chimera. Cause I'm not a real werewolf." Scott: "Because you're barely even human."
2. Theo: "It's not because you're afraid. The nogitsune's gone, but you've still got more blood on your hands than any of us." Stiles: "I'm about to get more."
3. Malia: "Can they fix it?" Stiles: "There's not enough duct tape in the world to fix that thing." Malia: "Maybe you should try something other than duct tape."
4. Scott: "I lost mom." Mama McCall: "Every leader suffers loss. Sometimes more than you think is bearable." Scott: "This time I lost everyone." Mama: "You'll get them back. You have to." Scott: "Why would they come back?" Mama: "Because you're their leader and even when a leader thinks they have nothing left to give, there's still one thing. Hope. Give them hope."
5. Parrish: "So we're both harbingers of death. I should probably add that to my resume." Lydia: "It's on my college applications."
6. Liam: "You promised. You said you'd do everything you could." Scott: "Which is why I'm not going to do something I think is going to kill her."
7. Mama McCall: "He's not someone. He's my son and he's an alpha and he's too strong to die like this. Come on. Open your eyes for me, okay? Breathe, baby, breathe."
8. Theo: "I came for the werecoyote, the one whose first instinct is to kill. I came for the banshee, the girl surrounded by death. I came for the dark kitsune. The beta with anger issues. I came for VoidStiles. That's the pack I want."
9. Malia: "It didn't matter to me. That's why I never said anything?" Stiles: "Yeah well, it matters to me."
10. Braeden: "I don't know what's going on around here but I'm guessing things are bad again."
Screencaps by We Heart It, Damon Stilinkski Belikov, Tumblr TW 5, TW Bulgaria, Team TSD, Lidia (sic) TW, Spoiler TW, Pinterest, and Telltale TV.