You, reader closest to me, how many calories do you think I burned watching the Season 3 premiere of Brooklyn Nine-Nine? I have no clue, though I’m sure the answer is more than three, because the show came back packed with wacky laughs this year.
While Holt’s barely holding it together over at 1PP, Captain Seth Dozerman (Bill Hader) has stepped in as the new head of the Nine-Nine. Although Dozerman’s got about the same level of personality and warmth as Holt, he definitely seems at least a tad more insane, and certainly more controlling. He tries to force productivity into the Nine-Nine with Dozer-tablets that provide stress-inducing countdowns for tasks, as well as deliver Dozer Blasts, provide the location of users, and offer digital backgammon games (though Dozer’s against it). Although Jake gets onto Dozerman’s good side pretty quickly, that’s ruined by a slight incident when the new Captain finds Amy and Jake “snorking” in the evidence room, and promptly dies of a heart attack. Yet another reason that you should use caution when dating co-workers -- you might accidentally kill your boss. RIP Dozerman. You had a good, nearly 48-hr reign. Now the Nine-Nine is stuck with yet another replacement captain: The Vulture.
During the course of the episode the two detectives go from casually dating to just colleagues to in a relationship. That’s a fair amount of relationship drama for a 21-minute show, and it feels a little underdeveloped -- probably just due to the amount of other stories that also had to fit in the season opener. The overly condensed twists and turns of the new, secret relationship took a bit of the excitement out beats that might have had more punch -- like the reveal to the precinct. Perhaps the intention was to rush through these moments for exactly that reason; to avoid hitting the same “new romance” beats as other shows, and moving on to different ones. The Jake/Amy story has been a slow build over the past couple years, and B99’s done a good job of not pushing that story to the front of the show. The characters certainly have some nice moments together, and it will be fun to see their (inevitable) struggles as a couple, or however they choose to label their relationship. Maybe murmsie ben jinglemen?
In the midst of all the other precinct craziness, Sarge gets a little obsessed with the Dozer-tablets, obeying them even after Dozerman himself dies. Rosa does her best to thwart the tablets whenever possible, by pouring coffee upon them, and shoving them in the ceiling. Scully and Hitchcock manage to stay out of trouble, and almost completely out of the episode.
And finally, to wrap this all up, I’ve got to give B99 some kudos for one of the weirdest and funniest moments I’ve seen on television -- Captain Holt, fully outfitted in a pigeon suit, “staring” at the camera with his giant plastic bird eyes and saying in his authoritative and deep voice, “Let’s blow some tiny minds.”
What did you think of the Season 3 opener? Do you think Jake and Amy are going to be able to stick it out? How long do you think the precinct will last under the Vulture? Will Holt have to dress as Pauley the Pigeon forever? Will Gina ever be able to overcome the gender bias inherent in the sport and become a professional bullfighter? Let us know what you think below!
