A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team this past week. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off below the article.
1) The Android: “What day is it?” Five: “It’s chocolate, protein pudding day.” (Nirat)
2) The Android: “If you shot him, you may skew the results.” (Nirat)
3) Three: “Got an answer for everything, don’t you.” The Android: “Yes, I am an excellent information source, thank you.” (Milo & Nirat)
1) Ari: "I worked with an Albanian once who did an organ harvest. He said it was easy. It wasn't actually that easy."
2) Paige: "Briggs, don't you think it's time that some of us started paying for what we've done?" Briggs: "You know penance doesn't mean death." Paige: "Sometimes it does."(Dahne)
3) Johnny: "Can we just go put a bullet in this dude? Just bam! Done." Briggs: "As much as I wouldn't mind if you've got an itchy trigger finger, Johnny, I think things are a little too hot for us to pull off a homicide." Charlie: "Not to mention, we're supposed to be the good guys."(Dahne)
4) Briggs: "Graceland doesn't exist just because there were a few agents who wanted an ocean view. You know I mean the house, it's is pretty dope, right? But at the end of the day, it's just walls. What gives it its value are the people inside. It's us. Every time we go under guys, we...we are holding hands with the devil. Now, thankfully there's always 5 people pulling the other way so I guess I'm telling you because I…I know already it's gonna get a lot worse before it gets any better and I'm hoping you guys will be there to pull me home."(Dahne)
5) Ari: "My cousin has to wear a GPS ankle bracelet. Anywhere he goes,they know. Let me tell you. It's appalling and the rest of us, idiots that we are, pay $100 a month for the same privilege. You work for me, get a pre-paid or use freaking smoke signals like a Cherokee."(Dahne)
1) Gordon: "Does Sara know about this?" Joe: "She's in Austin for the night." Gordon: "Mm. Alright, well, let's call her up, tell her what we're about to do and if she's okay with it, then I'm happy to help." Joe: "Okay, after we call up Donna and tell her that she'll be leasing her new network from me." Gordon: "Listen. Donna and I, we don't hide anything from each other." Joe: "Great. Let's call her up. I'd love to say hi." Gordon: "You know, I'd like to punch you in the face right now."
Joe: "Be my guest." (Tonya)
2) Tom: "We're doing the group photo - for the byte ad. I'm doing a take on class photos from high school - and without you two, it looks like the abstinence club of 1985."(Tonya)
3) Joe: "How much longer?" Gordon: "You sound like my girls on a road trip."(Tonya)
1) Will: "Not all our choices are consciously calculated." Jack: "No. But our decisions are. You remember when you decided to call Hannibal?" Will: "I wasn't decided when I called him. I just called him. I deliberated while the phone rang. I decided when I heard his voice." Jack: "Why?" Will: "Because he was my friend. And because I wanted to run away with him."(Tonya)
2) Alana: "Friendship with Hannibal is blackmail elevated to the level of love." Will: "A mutually unspoken pact to ignore the worst in one another in order to continue enjoying the best." Alana: "After everything he's done, can you still ignore the worst in him?" Will: "I came here to be alone, Alana - if you wouldn't mind." (Tonya)
3) Mason Verger: "I'm curious, Dr. Bloom, how I've found you in my pocket. Do tell. I'm all ears - they've just been redistributed." Alana: "You're preparing the theater of Hannibal's death. I'm just doing my part to get him to the stage."
1) Dutch: “Cute knife. You’ve been locked and served,”Guy: “Woah, marry me.” Dutch: “Tempting.” (Nirat)
2) John: “Simon. Why would he do this, we had a gentleman's agreement.” (Nirat)
3) Khlyen: “Divorce yourself from the feelings, master the body, own the pain." (Nirat)
4) Dutch: “Show us yours and we’ll show you ours.” (Nirat)
5) D'avin: Is she your partner or your boss? John: She's my partner. Boss. Partner-Boss, whatever. So? (Milo)
1) Krista: “What is it about society that disappoints you so much?” Elliot: “Oh, I don’t know. Is it that we collectively thought that Steve Jobs was a great man even when we knew he made billions of the backs of children? Or maybe its that we feel like all our heroes are counterfeit. The world itself is just one big hoax spamming each other with our burning commentary of bullshit masquerading as insight. Our social media faking as intimacy or is it that we voted for this? Not with our rigged elections but with our things, our property, our money. I’m not saying anything new, we all know why we do this, not because Hunger Games books makes us happy but because we want to be sedated because its painful not to pretend because were cowards. Fuck Society.” (Jimmy, Milo & Nirat)
2) Elliot: “I don’t think this is just a DDoS attack. I think they got a Rootkit sitting inside the servers.”
Angela: “What’s a Rootkit?" Lloyd: “It’s like a crazy serial killer rapist with a very big dick.” (Nirat)
3) Elliot: “Sometimes I dream of saving the world, saving everyone from the invisible hand, one that brands us with the employee badge. The one that forces us to work for them. The one that controls us everyday without us knowing it. But I can’t stop him, I’m not that special, I’m just anonymous, I’m just alone. If it weren’t for QWERTY I’d be completely empty. I hate when I can’t hold in my loneliness. This crying’s been happening to often every other week now. What do normal people do when they get this sad? They reach out to friends or family I think, that’s not an option. I do morphine. The key to doing morphine without turning into a junkie is to limit yourself to 30 milligrams a day. Anything more just builds up your tolerance.”(Jimmy & Nirat)
4) Elliot: “In fact when I think about the really bad people. E Corp, the largest conglomerate in the world, there so big there literally everywhere. A perfect monster of modern society. The E might as well stand for evil. In fact after a thorough intensive self reprogramming, thats all my mind hears, sees or reads when they pop up in my world. Krista would have a shit fit if she knew I did that but that’s what they are. A conglomerate of evil and now I have to help them. There he is Terry Coby, the CTO, even though he’s the head technology guy at one of the biggest companies in the world he owns a Blackberry. It also looks like he doesn’t see a terminal very often. He’s not a techie, he’s a moron. An arrogant moron, the worse kind.” (Jimmy & Nirat)
1) Jane: "You guys expect a lot out of your food. I just expect mine to get me from breakfast to lunch."(Dahne)
2) Korsak: "Let's not name the next one. It hurts too bad when you fail."(Dahne)
3) Jane: "Don't bother. There's no food in there." Angela: "Nothing white." Jane: "Is this a goal…for humans…that eat food?"(Dahne)
4) Jane: "Is it the air? Is it the trees? Or is it just group insanity going…what are you doing?" Korsak: "Fish scales." Jane: "Well can you sniff the tires and tell me where the car's been?"(Dahne)
5) Maura: "So you get them on the line but…" Korsak: "They wriggle away. I've got to work on that with Kiki."(Dahne)
6) Maura: "Well don't you feel better when you eat better?" Jane: "Yes, when I have the right amount of sugar and caffeine and alcohol, I feel amazing." Maura: "So cupcakes, Red Bull, and a martini." Jane: "You don't have to get all fancy about it. I'd take coffee and a shot of whiskey any day." (Dahne)
7) Jane:"Give my friend a proper burial Maura:"Do you like fish tacos" (Donna)
1) Harvey: “You got something for me?” Mike: “When don’t I?” (Laura M)
2) Harvey: “Good job today, Mike.” Mike: “Thanks.” (Laura M)
3) Vince: "You’re a son of a bitch.” Harvey: “That’s exactly what I thought of myself when I came up with the idea.” Mike: “To be fair, I was the one who came up with the defunct Canadian trucking company thingy.” Harvey: “Oh yeah, you’re right. You’re a son of a bitch too.” Mike: “Oh, thanks Harvey. I appreciate that.” (Laura M)
4) Harvey: "I don’t give a shit how Louis feels.” (Laura M)
5) Rachel: “Okay, are you saying you own me now?”Mike: “Oh, yeah. And this here, it’s just like a little collar for your finger.” (Laura M) - Could this be a possible allusion to the show White Collar? It definitely struck a cord with me.
6) Donna: “This isn’t how two adults who care about each other move on.” Harvey: “As far as I’m concerned, two adults who care about each other don’t move on at all.” (Laura M)
1) Danny: "Baltimore Water and Power. How can I help you this evening? Predicted hold time is forever. If you need immediate assistance, please place your lips firmly on my a** cheeks and press the pound sign."(Dahne)
2) Thorwald: "Be safe." Chandler: "I didn't come all this way to die in Baltimore."(Dahne)
3) Chandler: "You want to be the last to die for a lost cause?"(Dahne)
4) Danny: "What the hell country are we even in?"(Dahne)
5) Alisha: "The only way for any of this to end is for you to give up. As a lieutenant in the United States Navy, I'm qualified to accept your surrender." Granderson: "My surrender. Oh, you stay with me little girl. You watch who surrenders to whom."(Dahne)
6) Thorwald: "People do whatever they can to survive. They make their choices."(Dahne)
7) Granderson: "I am not a monster."(Dahne)
8) Slattery: "Attention people of Baltimore. USS Nathan James is back under the control of her crew. This ship is now engaged in the fight to free Baltimore and spread the cure of the red flu to all of its citizens. This message goes out to Amy Granderson and all those loyal to her. Nathan James has been liberated and has joined the fight against you. We demand your immediate surrender. Lay down your arms or be subject to the full force of the United States Navy."(Dahne)
1) Ethan: “Pamela Pilcher?” Nurse Pam: “ Mmm hmm” Ethan: “Are you his wife?” Nurse Pam: “Oh haha no, his sister. He got mother’s good looks, I got her courage.” (Nirat)
2) Ethan: “These other people, did any of them actually choose to be here?" David Pilcher: “No.” Ethan: “No, you choose them. You abducted them. David Pilcher: “Yes.” Ethan: “What gave you that right?”
David Pilcher: “It wasn’t a right, it was a burden. When your neighbors house is in flames, do you rush in and try to save them or wait outside for fear of trespass?” (Nirat)
3) David Pilcher: Has anyone ever lived a life entirely defined by their own choices. No. Socio-economic status, race, gender, the day on which we were born, beauty, height. We’re defined by millions of variables way beyond our own choosing.”
Ethan: “But that’s different, that’s fate. Those aren’t choices made by others.” David Pilcher: “Others have always made choices for us. Think of the millions drafted into wars decided by their leaders the causes of which in retrospect seem utterly meaningless. A patch of land, someone’s regions tenets, the prices of a can of gasoline. My actions were motivated by something far purer.” (Nirat)
4) David Pilcher: “This isn’t a little town Ethan, this is a new civilisation. When America was born there was spies on every corner. Traitors were hung on the street.” Ethan: “And Stalin spied on his citizens and executed them just like you.” (Nirat)
Honorable Mentions
Mr.Robot "Pilot"
1) Elliot: “It’s good, so good it scratched my mind, the part that doesn't allow good to exist with condition.”
2) Elliot: “But I’m only a vigilante hacker by night, by day just a regular cybersecurity engineer, employee number ER280652.”
3) Ollie: “I feel like things have been awkward between us, don’t you?” Elliot: “I’m okay with it being awkward between us.”
4) Elliot: “I know what it’s like to be different. I’m very different, too.”
Strike Back
1) Julia Richmond: "I always knew I would die like this, in a place like this. I just didn't know who would pull the trigger" (Jimmy)
As always, thank you for reading! Let me know in the comments what some of your favorite quotes this past week have been!
